.... Following his performance was a brief break before the opera solo. It was funny to see how fast the room cleared out. Most everyone either went to the bar for a drink or disappeared outside to light up a ciggie. Valentina went to the rest room, well at least that’s what she told me. I had a hunch she went into the kitchen to torment the waiter. My slip up for telling her where he was. I returned to where I was sitting before and this is where things got interesting.
I was sitting by myself when who decides to come by and sit across from me? The one and only, The Panamanian.
He was on his cell phone yapping loudly to someone. While on the phone he looked at me and slightly nodded his head to say hello. I smiled back. That night was the first time I’d ever been that close to him. Valentina refers to him as the fat, balding Panamanian. Me? Hmm, let’s just say given his size he must shop at the Big & Tall Store and save a lot of money on shampoo. When he was done yapping he put his phone away, folded his hands and stared right at me. There was an uncomfortable type of silence, that is before the light and casual banter began: Hello, how are you? etc. After that enlightening conversation was over the uncomfortable silence resurfaced. It was really one of those uncomfortable moments we sometimes encounter and I didn’t want to just get up and leave because I figured it might seem a little rude on my end. Instead I said another prayer to the Big Guy, for somebody to come and sit by me: Valentina, cousin, Gilligan, hell even the Ravi Shankar wannabe! Not even 2 seconds went by after saying my prayer and who decides to come by? The Energizer Bunny ooops I mean P.W. Now the Big Guy decides to answer my prayer?! Okay better than nobody. She was carrying a green linen napkin, a plate and on top of it was a jar of caviar and crackers. I still could not get passed on how tanned she was. Her teeth were the only thing that weren't tanned and because she was so tanned, her teeth appeared very white that when she smiled it was like a blinding flash of light. Anyways, she jumped right into her hubby’s laps and gave him a nice, big wet one on the lips. The kiss lasted several long seconds, and NO I wasn’t counting nor was I purposely staring but they were sitting right across from me so it was hard not to notice. With the little spoon she scooped up some of the caviar and spread it onto the cracker and began to feed her husband and then would carefully wipe the corners of his mouth. As she fed her big chubby baby his chubby hand was busy patting her thigh. Hmm, I don’t recall reading anything on the programme about this! What does a person such as myself do in a situation like that? I looked at the ceiling, I looked down at the floor, made a quick glance at them and they were still going at it. Hello?! There’s a person sitting across from you, do you not see her? I don't know how they could have missed me after all I was wearing a really cute dress. The last party I had seen them both at was Easter 2008 which I blogged about and let me tell you she was not shy about holding her feelings in towards him. She, the P.W. was sitting in his laps feeding him grapes for all to see like he was some type of heroic Roman Gladiator. Speaking of Gladiator and getting off topic here for a moment but has anyone been watching the new show: "Spartacus: Blood & Sand." Wow. I honestly thought nothing could top Zalman King's TV series: Red Shoe Diaries in terms of being sensual, beautiful and sexy but some of the scenes in Spartacus are pretty close. Getting back to my post: Don’t get me wrong: I have nothing against personal displays of affection: embracing, exchanging a few light kisses etc are all fine but if you’re going to shove your tongue down your significant other's throat or if you plan on dipping your finger into a jar of caviar and have them lick it off {which is what they had started to do} well do it in the privacy of your own home where there’s no one else around to watch. It was precisely around the caviar moment I decided to get up and leave. I was beginning to believe Val was right: maybe the P.W. isn't all there. I was extremely relieved she wasn’t around to see any of this. Valentina is beyond blunt and God knows what she would have said or done had she witnessed the spectacle. Hmm, it sure would have been fun to find out though.
The Opera & William Shakespeare
When it came time for the opera singer to do her thing less than half of the dinner guests came back including cousin and Gilligan. I don’t speak Italian so I have absolutely no idea what the soloist was singing about nor was I really interested in knowing. Despite her singing at the top of her lungs I had to keep pinching myself to stay awake. Once more there was applause and cheers from those who decided to stick around when she was done. Following that was an re-enactment of a scene from “The Merchant Of Venice.” And let me say thank God because I was worried it would be a re-enactment of the entire play. Had that been the case there was a very good chance I would have split!
Dinner
You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to figure out the food that was served. Italian, what else? Dinner was served in the salon and even the dining table ran with the theme of the night’s party. The table cloth had a gigantic Italian flag in the middle. Miniature replica statues of the Leaning Tower Of Pisa stood in place as name card holders. In order to find our seats we had to pick each tower up one by one to find our names. It was a little difficult because the writing was so small. Sitting to my left was Gilligan, to my right, Valentina and beside her was Cousin. Both Gilligan and Cousin were no where in sight. “Where did those 2 wonder off to?” I inquired. “If they’re smart they’re either hiding or they’ve jetted back to the mainland,” she replied picking up her dinner glass. She inspected it very carefully and then couldn’t stop staring at it. It was like the glass had a type of hypnotic hold on her. She backed out of her chair with the glass in hand. “Be right back,” she said. “Where are you going?” I asked. She failed to give me an answer.
The rest of the absentee dinner guests slowly re-appeared and made their way to the salon including the Shakespearean actors....in costume. Making his way next to the dinner table ladies and gentleman, "Mr. Sitarist".....or at least so I thought. And here's what I mean by that: he located his seat and picked up his plates, utensils and glass and laid them down on the floor and then exited around the corner. {I giggled a little remembering the "kumbya" remark made by cousin} He came back with his precious rug, rolled it out and neatly arranged exactly how the plates etc, were on the table and sat down, lotus style. Oh good grief now I had seen everything. I’ve been to several, several parties including other dinner parties {not held by the host} but the Christmas Eve Dinner Party 2009 on Sandbox Island was truly in a special class all on its own, seriously I kid you not. It was an incredibly strange night and had there been a full moon it might have explained the strangeness. It was Christmas Eve and I thought again about the theme's party while looking at the dinner table. I looked across at the "actors" and God knows why but I even looked over at The Panamanian and his wife who were thankfully seated further down from where I was, then I looked at the Ravi Shankar wanna-be. Mr. Sitarist was sitting on his rug quietly with his eyes closed. I couldn't quite decide whether the party was:
A} Bizarre
B} Odd
C} Weird
or
D}Defective
....To Be Continued
XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess
