Cocaine Princess here.......................As my buddy was sharing his summer plans of travelling to Peggy’s Cove, "A" appeared and waved for me to come down.
"On your break?" I asked.
"My break’s not for an hour. I need to ask you something. What did you say to Poodle Lady?" (She didn’t actually say Poodle Lady, she referred to her by her name)
"Nothing. Why?"
"She said you mouthed off to her," she replied.
"Are you kidding me?"
"I know you don’t like her."
"So you automatically presume I’m guilty?" I asked. "I’m not the only one who doesn’t like her. The kids don’t like her either."
"Did you tell her to get lost?"
"Well I-I...."
I began to stammer.
"It’s a yes or no answer darling."
"I sort of gave her an in between answer," I replied.
She had a puzzled look on her face.
"What does that mean? You either did or you didn’t."
"I did this."
I showed her the gesture with my thumb.
"Unless you were hitchhiking I’m going to take that as a yes you did."
"Whose side are you on, mine or hers?’ I questioned.
"I’m on no one’s side," she answered.
"How very comforting to know you have my back," I commented.
"Why would you do that? Tell me what happened?"
"No, not until you tell me what she said first," I said.
"She said she asked you a simple question and you replied by being rude and insulting
in front of your group. Her feeling were hurt."
in front of your group. Her feeling were hurt."
My jaw dropped to the grassy field. I tried to get a word out but no words were
coming out. Only a squeaking sound. Squeak after squeak.
coming out. Only a squeaking sound. Squeak after squeak.
20 Squeaks later words began to finally come out.
"Oh my God."
I told "A" my side of the story. And my sister’s response:
"You talking in that manner what kind of example was that to set in front of the children?"
"Me? What about her? What the hell did you expect I say to her?" I questioned.
"I expected you to speak to her in a civil manner regardless of what she said to you," she answered.
Have you ever had a "what-the-hell-are-you-frigging-serious-Homer-Simpson-D’OH-moment?"
Well this definitely was mine.
"There is no frigging way to be civil with her," I stated. "And for the record up until today I have been civil with her. I’m probably the only one in the neighbourhood who doesn’t slam the door in her face."
"Why didn’t you just ignore her?"
"She came right up to my face and started with her insane babbling."
"If you couldn't ignore her then you should have acted like the bigger person," she said.
I had my 2nd "what-the-hell-are-you-frigging-serious-Homer-Simpson-D’OH-moment" in under 5 minutes. I couldn’t believe my ears. I had enough of listening to her and walked away from the conversation. (Yes, yes, I suppose my sister was right) She caught up with me.
"Have I ever once asked you for anything?"
"Hmm, let me think," I said.
"No. I have never once asked you for anything so all I ask is for you to please keep your distance from her."
My third "what-the-hell-are-you-frigging-serious-Homer-Simpson-D’OH-moment."
"Keep my distance from her? What do you think I do? Go around following her? Believe me if there was a Poodle-Lady Repellent Spray I would be the first to buy it. Listen to me,"
Enunciating every word slowly I said,
"She....came....up....to....me."
"Please be the bigger person," she repeated again while patting the side of my cheek. "A" left and went back to her volunteer duties and I went back up to the bleachers.
"What did big sis want?" Froggie curiously asked.
"To give her lil’ sis a lecture," I replied.
I let out a sigh and mumbled Poodle Lady.
"Poodle Lady," he replied in a very perky tone. "Mommy says Poodle Lady needs a man. Daddy says any man who looks at the old bat runs the other way."
I laughed so hard I was in tears.
"You have to stop listening to their private conversations."
"But it wasn’t private! I was with mommy and daddy eating my porridge when they said it for pete's sake," he explained.
"Froggie eats porridge. Hmm, maybe I need to start calling you baby bear like in Goldilocks and the 3 bears," I commented tickling him.
"Porridge is gross," Froggie said giggling. "Daddy says it’ll help put meat on my bones so I eat it everyday. Poodle Lady isn’t very friendly. At Halloween when I said trick or treat she gave me chocolate and said "I’ll give you this chocolate but your teeth will fall out if you eat it."
"It’s sounds like something she would say."
Froggie continued.
"I said thanks for the information and have a good evening."
"You know what? You are too precious for words," I stated.
"I know. All the ladies love me. Daddy says I’m a chip off the old block," Froggie replied and proudly I might add.
The breakfast club was an all day event. Aside from the money raised from buying a plate of breakie there was a Rubber Duck Race. Rubber ducks were selling at a toonie each and everyone who bought one was given a ticket with a number matching their duck’s number. I bought 50. Mine were numbered 510-560.
1000s of bright yellow rubber duckies went floating down the local river and several of them wound up being wedged in between two boulders. None of mine made it to the finish line.
A silent auction was also taking place. Items up for grab: non folding pine wooden chairs, paintings, dry floral arrangements and pottery all created by local artists from in and around the surrounding area. It didn’t exactly scream Sotheby's. I didn’t know what to bid on. The paintings, pottery and floral arrangements as pretty as they were really didn’t match with our indoor decor and I didn’t want to bid on something that would more or less end up in storage. My sister suggested the folding chair, we could keep it out on the patio.
I filled out a card to register for the auction and was assigned a number to use for the bidding.
Bidding for each chair started at $250.00 with increments of $50.00.Throughout the course of the day I kept checking on my bid. As luck would have it there was an annoying person, #22495, who kept bidding against me. I didn’t like that.
Bidding for each chair started at $250.00 with increments of $50.00.Throughout the course of the day I kept checking on my bid. As luck would have it there was an annoying person, #22495, who kept bidding against me. I didn’t like that.
To be honest I didn’t even want the chair but I wasn’t going to let #22495 outbid me. I was determined to win and when I want something I don't let anything or anyone stand in my way. Each time I was outbid I would place a higher bid. And each time I did the annoying person would place an even higher bid.
Keeping a close eye on the time I placed the last bid just before the auction ended....
To Be Continued....
XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess
