Cocaine Princess here.Sorry for the delay. I'm still on my extended vay-cay.
Continued from December 29th 2008
As we were coming in at 5am Valentina's daddy was heading out and leaving for the capital and said he would meet us there on the morning of the 31st. He gave us each a hug, a kiss, an I love you and then looked at Valentina and said, 'be good.' Since she was a little girl after he says 'I love you' to her without delay following those three words are two more words, 'be good.' My best friend never does respond. Instead she grins like the Cheshire Cat and blows him an air kiss. Something she has perfected from the age of 4.
Thanks to the nasty tasting concoction I drank (whose name Valentina still can't remember) I wasn't able to sleep. How can I best describe the taste? Have anyone of you tasted Buckley's Cough Syrup? Their motto, 'It tastes awful. And it works.' It tasted twice as bad as that.
With the corrosive taste still lingering in my mouth I needed something to get rid of it and thought maybe if I had breakfast the taste would fade away. Since I had gotten there the chef would ask me the same question every morning, '¿Mi amor qué usted tiene gusto para el desayuno?' My answer would be the same. A plate of fruit and nothing else but for some reason my request kept being shot down. I would receive something entirely different. One day it was cinnamon pancakes, the next day coconut pecan french toast and strawberry creme crepes, another day mini Belgian waffles and so today was no exception. I even went as far as informing the chef the exact fruits I wanted and he replied 'lo que usted deseo.' So what did I receive? Tomato basil eggs benedict, strips of bacon and a smoothie. I didn't understand. The one thing I knew for sure it couldn't have been a communication problem. I didn't bother saying anything. Good lord until this moment I didn't realize how much I have been eating!
PLEASE DON'T EAT ME
I went out on the deck to have breakfast. Semper-Fi kept me company. Well if that's what you can call it. He just stood near by. I didn't see the need for him, I was still on the property but what can I say? It's a whole different ball game out here with a different set of rules. Following close behind him was one of the many Doberman dogs. It stood at attention next to me. I turned and said, 'shoo-shoo. Stay away from me.' It wasn't listening. 'She likes you,' commented Semper-Fi . 'The feeling isn't mutual,' I replied back. She was a vicious looking creature with blades for teeth that looked like they had been recently sharpened.
The waves were tranquil but the sand was flaming hot. I made the error of stepping on the sand barefoot not knowing just how hot it was. I quickly tip toed back onto the deck. I've always adored Baja and despite its' dry landscape it has beautiful indigo colored water and bronze colored sand.
While eating I had time to think about what Valentina had said to me. Had I lost my groove? I know for the past little while I had been feeling a little off, uneasy and a bit unbalanced in some areas of my life. Maybe I was in need of a little refresher course. I'm not going to lie it felt good being back in a familiar setting.
With one strip of bacon left and feeling a little mischievous I waved it in front of the dog's face for fun. She didn't even flinch. When I wouldn't stop she turned her head locking her eyes into mine. I felt a shiver. I whispered to it, 'I'm sorry. Please don't eat me.'
LOVE SAID....
At some point I must have fallen asleep. When I woke up Valentina was next to me. She was reading a magazine and had a tray across her laps. Arranged very neatly on a serving platter were tortilla chips and in the center a bowl of salsa. 'How long have I been sleeping?' I asked. 'I came out here 2 hours ago and you were sleeping like a baby,' she replied. 'Why didn't you wake me?' 'Because you looked so peaceful and I didn't want to disturb you. You were smiling a lot.' 'I was?' 'Yes. So what were you dreaming about?' 'It involved chocolate,' I answered. Putting the magazine down she asked, 'are you ready to go?' 'Go where?' I asked back while picking up a chip and dipping it into the salsa. (There's something to be said about fresh and bona fide Mexican salsa. Once you try it you'll never-eat-or-buy-the-watery-sorry-of-an-excuse-salsa-in-a glass-jar-they-sell-at-the-grocery-stores. Even the ones that claim to be authentic) 'Go into town,' she answered. 'Valentina we just returned from town hours ago.' 'Just because we’re in Land's End doesn't mean we're literally in Land's End. The celebration is just beginning princess. Call it Land's Beginning.' 'You know I’m never one to say no to having a good time...' 'Why do I feel a BUT coming,' she said. 'BUT, thanks to that fatal brew you forced me to drink my head hasn't stopped spinning.' 'You have a little hangover?' 'No I have a full-size hangover,' I answered. 'If you drank more frequently you would be able to handle your liquor. You know what will help? A drink. Should I get you a margarita? A pina colada? How about a Rum Runner?' 'You want to mend my hangover by giving me more alcohol?' I asked. 'It does wonders for me,' she said jokingly. 'What you need is a cup of chamomile tea, it’ll help. I know a pretty restaurant in town. Come on,' she said taking my hand, 'what do you say?' 'We have been out for the past 4 nights. My legs, my tootsies, my entire body is aching.' 'Then we’ll go to the spa at the One and Only and get mani/pedis and a massage,' she suggested. 'I don’t even know what day it is Valentina. I don’t even know if I'm awake or asleep. For all I know I could be still sleeping and dreaming this whole dialogue with you,' I explained. Well she took care of that by pinching me. 'Did you feel that?’ she questioned. 'Good grief yes,' I answered placing my hand over my arm. 'Then you’re awake.' She left me no choice. I was forced to tell her the truth. 'Alright I confess. I’m exhausted.' Valentina gasped. It was almost as if she was struggling for air and then put her hand over her heart. The girl was in shock over my confession and after several seconds of silence finally spoke, and thank God because I was about to perform CPR. 'Right now our mothers are listening at the Pearly Gates with their heads hanging in shame over you saying those words, I'm exhausted. If they partied hard in the 80’s we certainly can do the same in the present after all we are their daughters so it's in us.' 'Lay on the guilt trip,' I said getting up. 'Let me hear you say it, Love said....' 'Love said let the music play,' I answered. 'You remembered. For a minute I thought you may have forgotten.' 'How is that even possible?' I said back. As we headed back inside I told Valentina about my breakfast dilemma. Her reply, 'he (the chef) loves showing off his culinary skills. How much can he do with fruit other than blend a smoothie or carve a swan out of a watermelon?' 'I'm concerned about my weight. At the rate I've been eating I'm going to have to walk home to burn off the fat,' I explained. 'Nobody watches their waistline during winter vay-cay so toss your strict eating rule out into the ocean,' she said.
LOOK AT ME I'M A TOURIST!
Before having lunch and after the spa we put a little dent in our credit cards at Puerto Paraiso. Ahh, there’s nothing like retail therapy to melt away your kinks and knots. (Sometimes shopping can work better than the hands of a masseuse) An additional cruise ship had docked in town so the place was very, very busy. Numerous tourists were assembled in groups in the mall with their cruise ship activity leaders. All the leaders wore nautical style blazers and held a clipboard. 'These visitors are about to be ripped off,' Valentina stated. 'Every store owner is going to hike up their prices when they see them walk in.' (Many, well almost all were wearing attire and had accessories that shouted LOOK AT ME I'M A TOURIST!) 'And look how pasty some of them are.' 'This must be their first port of call,' I said. 'Give them a couple of minutes out in the sun and they'll be toasty brown in no time.' I then directed my attention to their waist. The official tell tale sign of a tourist, the good ole nylon fanny pack.
PLEASE ROLL YOUR R's
For lunch we dined at a charming eatery perched on top of a bluff overlooking the Sea of Cortez. And like Valentina said, it was very pretty. Lunch was interesting for 2 reasons.
1.
The same group of tourists we saw earlier at the mall were eating at the same place we were and Valentina cringed and complained why they were permitted to enter into the establishment wearing crinkly shorts, shirts and flip flops. She had a point. The restaurant had a plaque near the front entrance indicating they had been awarded the AAA Diamond. Another sign was nearby informing customers the restaurant enforced a strict dress code policy and had the right to refuse anyone who didn't comply. What made her cringe even more was when they began throwing around Spanish phrases. I understood and I agreed with her. If you’re going to say vital phrases like una cerveza por favor, practice rolling your R’s please.
2.
While having desert Valentina whispered, 'look at that woman, the one in the far corner.' Trying not to be obvious I turned around and casually glanced at the woman she was talking about. 'What about her?' I softly asked. 'You don’t recognize her?' 'No.' 'Look again.' And I did and still had no inkling who that was. 'It’s Maria Conchita Alonso.' I looked back for a third time. 'No it isn’t,' I said giggling. Valentina kept on insisting it was and told me to take a good, long look. Even though there was some likeness it wasn’t her. However if it was, all I can say is Miss Maria Conchita Alonso must have fallen on some hard times because the woman who Valentina claimed was her, was waiting tables.
To Be Continued.
XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess
