Cocaine Princess here.
To review Part 2: She put the bottle she had in her hands back on the shelf and with one hand on her hip she next asked:
PL: Why are you two here? I want to know.
Okay, that was it. I had just about had enough of her frigging questions– call it the straw that broke the camel’s back. Now it was time for me to ask PL a question.
Part 3:
ME: No, the question is what are you doing here? Weren't you the one who was against the construction of this strip mall?. So what happened, did you change your mind? Are you now seeing the positive impact the mall is bringing, hmm?
I was dying to hear PL’s witty response. Instead I was given this:
PL: You’re a mouthy one. {To sister} Why is she always mouthy to me?
I was stunned. Seriously, why is it okay for her to spew out whatever the hell she wants but the minute I talk back to her she feels offended? Is that fair?????? In my OPINION: NOOOOOOOO!! While she continued with her insane ranting there was something different about her. But what? Hmm.....she was wearing her velvet tracksuit {her signature look}. Smeared lipstick on her 2 front teeth?.....yup it was there. So why’d she look different?......A-ha! That’s it! Poodle Lady’s pet Poddle Dog, AKA “her Baby” was M.I.A. Always whenever you see her that dog of hers is strapped to her front stomach in a baby carrier. That day it wasn't. I just had to ask and truly this is what I said:
ME: So where’s your pooch?
PL: At the Pet Day Spa.
News from my town in regards to the Pet Day Spa:
"Once upon a time our town had a Wendy’s. And then it shut down. The building went up for sale and in its’ place Burger King moved in. A few months went by and the place known as "The Home Of The Whopper" shut down too and again the building went up for sale. Last spring it was reconstructed into a pet spa. There’s not so much of a demand for fast food as there is for pet pampering where I live. The end."
I continued:
ME: Your poochie is getting pampered. How lovely.
I thought what I had said was cute and giggled. You know who didn’t think it was cute? If you said the woman in the velvet tracksuit you are indeed correct! She stared at me again, gave me another creepy head to toe look and stated the following:
PL: Are you making fun? I won’t stand for insults. Apologize.
I can assure you my lovelies it was not meant to be an insult nor was I making fun and I explained that to her. Correction- I TRIED explaining that to her. She wasn’t convinced and believe it or not demanded that sister make me apologize! I think it’s clear at this point PL sniffs glue in her spare time. Sister also tried explaining that I meant absolutely nothing by it while she looked at me. "A" gave me a look that meant: why didn’t you just stay quiet? Believe me I was thinking the exact same thing too and it was on that day I realized the true meaning of the phrase: “Silence Is Golden.” If that wasn't enough, PL then had the nerve to take a look inside our cart and asked the following:
PL: What do you need with all that alcohol?
Hmm, I wonder if a person’s vision can be affected from sniffing glue because of her question? “ALL THAT ALCOHOL?” At that point we had only ONE item in the cart: a bottle of red wine. God knows how many bottles she hallucinated seeing. I took a peak in her cart. Hey it was only fair that I did! There was a bottle of Johnny Walker, Southern Comfort and the 3rd- I couldn’t tell what it was because it was facing down. All I can tell you the bottle was blue in color and square shaped with a red bottle top. I myself could have asked her the same question but instead I went with this:
ME: We’re having a party this weekend- clothing optional and no you’re not invited. And by the way did you hear, the third installment to the Chronicles Of Narnia will be released on December 10th.
I ended it by saying:
Peace Out.
And then I flashed the peace sign, truly I did. Since I wasn’t interested in hearing what she had to say I took control of the cart and proceeded into the next aisle. Upon turning the corner sister grabbed the cart and stopped me. She looked at me and with an innocent smile I said:
ME: Yes?
A: Did you have to say that?
ME: It was the 1st thing that came to mind.
A: A clothing optional party is the 1st thing that came to mind?
ME: Actually it was the 2nd thing that came to mind. The 1st was-
Sister put her finger over my lip.
A: I don’t want to know.
As we carried on with our shopping in the liquor store, sister was awfully quiet and had a look on her face that can be best described as: “I don’t approve of what you did.” I wasn’t too concerned and I let her know.
ME: You have your ways of dealing with her and I have mine. Frankly and this is just my opinion but I think my way was much better.
Have you ever heard of this quote: "Respond Intelligently Even To Unintelligent Treatment." Sister firmly believes in that. I do agree too but sometimes there are people in this world who drive you so batty you can't help but respond in an unintelligent way. {Between you and me I will admit my way made me feel incredibly good. Oh yeah!!}
When we had finished up shopping, we had a bite to eat at a local eatery and returned home. My lovelies, if this isn’t proof positive PL has lost her marbles I don’t know what is: There was a message waiting on the phone. It was from the neighborhood watch captain informing us PL had contacted him because she wanted to put him on notice to be on the “lookout” for any “suspicious” or “immoral activity” around our house because of the “excessive amount of alcohol” we purchased. Excessive alcohol? Hmm, we purchased 2 bottles of red wine and a case of Stella Artois. {Sister’s friends are beer drinkers}
To Be Continued....
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My loyal and dear readers it’s finally Friday! Is everyone in agreement: T.G.I.F.
Last week I wrote briefly about Daylight Savings Time Ending. Some of you commented the worst thing about turning the clocks back 1 hour is how quickly it becomes so dark. I would have to agree.
Whatever your plans are have a dynamite weekend.~x
XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess
