The Ill Fated Cruise

 "We write and produce for people, not for critics."

~ Sherwood Schwartz

The creator and writer of Gilligan's Island, Sherwood Schwartz passed away today. He was 94.

"For all its crude sight gags, low-brow humor and pratfalls, Schwartz viewed "Gilligan's Island" as something more: It is, he proclaimed, "my version of a social microcosm, where seven people from various backgrounds had to learn to live together."

I wasn't around when the show came out but because many stations air re~runs I've seen each episode more than a dozen times and here are a few questions I've never been able to answer:

1. How was The Professor able to create gadgets and inventions like a battery recharger made from coconuts, bamboo and vine for the radio, not be able to fix a simple hole in The S.S. Minnow? 

2. How did Gilligan's white pants and signature hat and the Skipper's pants stay so fresh and clean? 


3. Why did the Howell's travel with a trunk full of money? Were they perhaps headed to another island to meet with an off shore accountant?

4. Why did Ginger pack so many clothes for a 3 hour tour?

I actually have an answer for that one. Seeing how I always love getting all dolled up regardless of the occasion, a girl never knows when the need may arise to wear a sequence gown.

5. How did Mary Anne bake all those coconut cream pies? Was there a special island~oven? Why was it never shown?

I guess that's the fun in watching Gilligan's Island, nothing ever really makes a whole lot of sense. It's one of those shows that can best be described as plain funny and silly. The funniest thing about the show? Gilligan and his cast mates actually make it off the island to civilization years after being marooned only to end right back on the same island. 



XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

"What Made Me Say That?" Part 3

 

Cocaine Princess here.

My lovelies, the final piece is posted. To review:

She didn't say a word. Sister just looked at me and rolled her eyes. Hey, what can I say? Aside from being fashion conscious, hygiene is very important to me.  The troublemakers were ejected from the line and hauled away, cart included! I really don’t know where they were hauled off too. Hmm...maybe the department store had a holding cell where customers are taken until they cool off? To be honest I really wasn’t too interested in what happened to them. I had something else on my mind.....

ME: Do you think I should have bought those other pair of shoes also- you know the ones I tried on before the khaki ones?

Sister looked at me but this time however she didn't roll her eyes, she looked at me as if I spoke in a foreign language and didn’t understand a word I was saying. So I repeated the question......very slowly.

A: I heard you the first time.  For someone who spends most of their time barefoot I don’t know why you need so many shoes.

For the record I’m only barefoot indoors and never outdoors unless I’m on the beach. I love how my tootsies feel in the warm, silky sand.

Although we were near the cash counter it seemed to be taking forever to actually reach the counter. And the reason?  The cashier. We possibly had the most chatty cashier on the planet. For example: one customer bought several miscellaneous BBQ items including a BBQ lighter. As the cashier scanned it she asked:

CASHIER: Planning to use this on your BBQ?

Good Lord, why else do you think he bought it?

CUSTOMER: Yes.

CASHIER: How often do you BBQ?

CUSTOMER: Weekends, mostly.

CASHIER: What type of foods do you BBQ?

CUSTOMER: The usual– hotdogs, hamburgers....

I realize that it’s part of a cashier’s job to greet the customer and make small talk....the key word being SMALL but this particular cashier was questioning every little thing he bought which me wonder if maybe she had another job....hmm, perhaps customs officer at the airport? Among the items was a bag of charcoal. As she scanned it she stated:

CASHIER: You’re getting a super deal– for this price you might want to pick up another.

The customer looked at the cash screen and nodded his head. I’m not sure why the cashier didn’t just page an employee from the BBQ department and have them bring the bag of charcoal, instead the customer went by himself holding up the entire line for a good 5 minutes! Of all the places I could have been on a Saturday......I flung my head back and let out one of those depressing but silent sighs and then I looked at "A" and quietly made a mental note: Get revenge on sister. I don’t know when and I don’t know how but one of these days I plan on getting her back for ruining what started off as a perfect day. Finally the guy returned with not one but two bags of charcoal and just when I thought she was done serving him the guy pulls out an envelope filled with coupons. I muttered under my breath “Oh My God,” and then proceeded to annoy sister by asking if it was her goal to ruin my Saturday by bringing me to the zoo. Correction.....by DRAGGING me to the zoo. In the next line over was a mother and child. Her rosy~cheeked cherub who couldn’t have been more than a year old was sound asleep in the stroller. Sister looked at the baby and commented how she wished I was that little again. Why? So she could put a binky in my mouth to quiet me.


When she was done scanning each coupon the cashier asked for the customer’s postal code. The store was tracking their customers demographics. I reminded sister:

ME: Don’t tell them ours.

A: Yes, yes, I know.

As luck would have it the cashier recognized the postal code and inquired if he resided on XXXX Street. Guess what? He did. Apparently one of her friends lived on the same street as BBQ Man and questioned if he was acquainted with her. Guess what? He did. The cashier’s eyes lit up at the mere fact that he knew one of her friends! Gee, talk about a small world!! The two began chatting back and forth, totally clueless they were holding up the line. A customer became infuriated at what was happening. She was fuming and pointed out that this was not an appropriate time to socialize. 


The cashier's reply:


CASHIER: Mamn, you’re being rude. Do you mind?

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess