Easter In The Caribbean Part VIII: "It Was An Accident. Honest"

Cocaine Princess here.

I ended my last post with the following words, "P.S. I'm happy to say I didn't pass out." I had a couple of bloggers congratulating me for not passing out. I laughed a little because I thought it was cute but I don't know if it's really something to be proud of. I still thank you.

There's an explanation why I didn't pass out. Out of the 12 shots I only did 1.5. Hmm, 1.5 you say? Allow me to explain.

After successfully being able to get shot #1 down I needed some food really fast to remove the unpleasant taste from my mouth. Valentina was under the impression I would do one right after the next. I informed my pushy friend if I was going to do them it would be done on my terms which meant taking my sweet time. Not only did she agree but she agreed without giving me any difficulty! I witnessed my very first Easter miracle. I selected a chocolate chip muffin to help wipe out the taste. By now some of you know I am a hardcore shopaholic. I am also a chocoholic. The only difference I am able to control my chocolate addiction. The muffin wasn't the average one you see at the bakery. It was so small I could fit two in my mouth. Whenever I eat a chocolate chip muffin I like to pick the chips out first so that's what I did. Unfortunately there were only 5 microscopic sized ones. I then broke off the pieces and tried to chew very s-l-o-w-l-y. It took under 30 seconds to eat it.

"Are you done?" she asked. 'Nope,' I replied trying not to giggle. She knew what I was doing. I next reached for the croissant and not wanting to eat it plain I grabbed the jam but before I could open it I needed to remove the plastic seal. "Perfect," I thought to myself. This will give me some time to stall while I think of a way to get out of the "Easter Sunday Breakfast Special." To be honest I don't even like to drink. I’m not that big on it. Okay I drank 2 margaritas on Tuesday but it was Cinco de Mayo and I needed to. Hey, I'm passionate about certain days of the year.

Getting back to the jam. I understand as a security measure companies seal their products to avoid any sort of tampering but some of their seals are impossible to remove. As I wrestled with the plastic Valentina was busy with her seafood breakie. She waved one of the oysters in my face. "Want it?" she asked. "What do you think?" I replied back. I picked up the butter knife and slid it underneath the seal hoping it would break it....It did! "This could be the one with the prize," she said in a sing-songy voice. "Remember I already called dibs,' I said twisting the lid open.

After the eating the muffin, the croissant with jam (by the way did I ever take my time spreading the jam neatly and evenly) and after eating an additional muffin, it was time. Time to slam down more shots.

I did everything I could to get out of it. I begged. I pleaded. I even negotiated. She refused. And then something struck me. Is this what I’m like with my sister? If so, damn maybe I am stubborn?.....Nah!

I wasn't going in any particular order with the shots. I went for #12. The moment my mouth made contact with the nasty creation I spit it back into the glass. Valentina tried to say something but her mouth was filled with raw fish. All she could do was put her hands in the air and shrug her shoulders until she finished. "What happened?!" she exclaimed. "I can't do it. I may not pass out but I'm going to get sick," I explained. I wish I could describe in words the taste. All I can say is it had such an aggressive and foul flavor it stung.

For some reason I really wasn’t feeling all too great that morning. Let’s not forgot I had a swollen eye and was forced to wear sunglasses practically all day except for when I was in the privacy of my own room. Valentina suggested rather than walk around wearing shades I should just wear a patch over my eye. We saw one for sale in the hotel gift shop. It was in a netted beach bag filled with a bunch of other plastic toys for children. Perhaps it was the powerful early morning tropical heat or maybe it was because I was sleep deprived or maybe it was a combination of both those things affecting my co-ordination. It was totally off. I attempted to get up from my chair but felt dizzy when I did. As I went to reach for my bottled water my hand knocked over the shot tray causing everything to crash land onto the sand including the alcohol that came pouring out. As I went to cross my legs my foot kicked over Valentina's tray. The shots bounced off the tray before joining the others down below. All I could say was "oops and oops." Valentina removed her Coco Chanel sunglasses and folding her arms said, "Princess you did that on purpose didn't you?" "It was an accident. Honest," I said back.

(Drink #7)
"LIQUID COCAINE"

2 1/2 oz Amaretto

1/4 oz Grand Marnier

1/4 oz Southern Comfort

1/4 oz Vodka

1 splash Pineapple

Mixing Instructions: Shake ingredients into a cocktail shaker with ice. Strain into large shot glass.

"GREEN EDEN"
1 oz. Curacao, green

2 oz. Gin (Ginebra San Miguel Blue)

1 piece Mango

1 pinch Salt

Mixing Instructions:

Put a strip of green mango on a cocktail glass with salt, then add the gin and curacao

"PAIN KILLER"

1 oz. Liqueur, banana

1 oz. Rum, pineapple

1 oz. Rum, spiced

2oz. Pineapple Juice

1 dash nutmeg

Mixing Instructions:

Shake ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice. Strain into a chilled cocktail glass and sprinkle nutmeg on top.

"CAPTAIN AND TENNILLE"
2 oz. Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum
4 oz. Iced Tea
4 1/2 Ice
Mixing Instructions:
Pour rum over ice and add the ice tea
Garnish with lemon

"TREASURE HUNT"
1 oz. gin
1 oz. dark rum
1 1/2oz Cranberry Juice
1 1/2 oz Orange Juice
1 splash tonic water
Mixing Instructions:
Add alcohol, juices and tonic water

"ZHIVAGO'S REVENGE"
1/2 oz. Schnapps, cinnamon
1/2 oz. Vodka, pepper
3 drops Tabasco Sauce
Mixing Instructions:
Add cinnamon Schnapps, pepper, vodka ,3 drops of Tabasco Sauce.

Hell's Kitchen
Last night was the 2nd last episode of Hell’s Kitchen. Paula and Danny had their biggest challenge. The restaurant was divided in half. Each had to create their own menu and was assigned an architect to design their own restaurant within Hell’s Kitchen. Danny wanted a mounted fish on the wall. Not so classy thought the architect. The challenge had a bit of a twist. Loved ones of each contestant were flown in to oversee the design while Ramsay flew Danny and Paula to Atlantic City where another challenge was to take place. It was a taste test challenge and judging the meals was the Executive Chef of Borgata and the Chief Operating Officer. The executive chef selected dishes from both Paula and Danny’s menu and had 45 minutes to prepare. Danny won the taste off by one point.

When they returned to HK a surprise awaited them. Gordon had a dinner table with 6 silver tray lids. You know in most horror movies when a character goes to lift the lid off a tray at a dinner table and instead of food there’s almost always a severed rotting human head? Well last night the heads weren’t rotting. They were very much alive and still attached to their bodies. They were former contestants: Ben, Lacey, LA, Carol, Andrea and Gio. Because Danny won the challenge in Atlantic City he got to choose first who he wanted on his team for the final challenge. He choose Ben.

Danny’s kitchen brigade: Ben, Gio, Carol
Paula’s kitchen brigade: Andrea, LA, Lacey.

Next week is the season finale. Who will win?

My loyal and dear readers it finally F-R-I-D-A-Y and I’m revved and all ready for the weekend.
Whatever your plans are have a glorious weekend.-x

XOXOXOXO,

Cocaine Princess