Friday, March 25, 2011

Have Any Of You Met These 10 People?


Cocaine Princess here.

Yes my lovelies, I can hear the grumbling and perhaps some of you are deeply heart broken because I didn’t post the next thrilling installment of "Gucci The Guard Dog" but I had one of those busy weeks. {It will be posted next Friday} So please, dab your tears as I leave you with this:

Summer is always a big time for movies. So many anticipated sequels are being released for instance “The Hangover II” and “Pirates of The Caribbean 4: On Stranger Tides,” which I definitely am excited about. Huge Johnny Depp fan here. A list appeared in one of the city's papers written by 2 movie reviewers about the "10 People They Most Hate To Sit Near At Theatres."


The Texting Twit
You may have just witnessed the most awesome sight ever on a movie screen, or suddenly realized you forgot to file your income tax, but save the texting for after the credits role. These bozos shine a beacon like an incoming jet in a dark theater.

The Mealtime Muncher:
Popcorn crunchers and nacho nibblers are bad enough — the noise, the smell! — but those who bring three-course meals need to be punished. A special poke in the eye to the guy who enthusiastically slurped Thai noodles through the first reel. You know who you are.

* I once had the unfortunate pleasure of sitting near a person who ate an onion filled sub. The smell was so bad I could hardly concentrate on the film.


The Backseat Brat:
What’s that rhythmic pounding in my kidneys? Why, it’s the little darling behind me who beats a tattoo on my seat back. Ba-boom, ba-boom. And just for variety, here comes The Thumper!

The Relentless Yakker:
Please shut up, I’m begging you. I am sorry you find the movie too loud, the plot confusing or the director a moron. And you there, Ms. Coolio who saw the movie at TIFF or last week at the multiplex, please stop pointing out the coming “good parts” to your seatmates.

*Don't you just hate when that happens?


The Hat and the Haystack:
Twin screen-blocking blockheads: wearers of baseball caps who refuse to doff them, and owners of Marge Simpson haystack hairdos, who often add hair picks for maximum annoyance.

The Aisle Obstructer:
Clumsy and thoughtless, this is the cinema clodhopper who, while entering or exiting a row, stomps over people already seated — and also stands atop them while taking shouted snack orders.

The Seat Hogger:
That ticket you bought is good for just one seat. You don’t get a second one for your coat, unless the theatre has abundant extras. And you can’t save an entire row as if defending the Alamo.


The Screen Shouter:
Despite the current 3-D fad, we’re still 51 years away from the era of The Jetsons. No, you can’t yet interact with the actors on the screen. So why are you shouting at them?


The Credits Sprinter:
Hey, we know you think credits are stupid and you have a babysitter with the meter running. But could you at least wait until the cast scrolls before diving over seated patrons?

*I usually don't stay behind to watch the entire credits all the way to the end but I made an exception for each Pirates film. There was a special last scene in each one of them that appeared after the credits. In case you missed it, the scenes were also added on the DVDs.


The Petting Zoo:
When people shout at petting and cooing lovebirds to “Get a room!” they aren’t referring to the multiplex. If you must make out while at the movies, restrict it to a far back corner of the theater.

So, what are some of your pet peeves when going to the movies? Have any of you encountered any of the above 10 people?  Was anybody left out?

****

This past Wednesday, Hollywood icon Elizabeth Taylor passed away at the age of 79. Before I left for my winter vaycay, sister gave me a book to read during my trip: "Furious Love: Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton, and the Marriage of the Century." The book details their tumultuous relationship and includes several private {racy} love letters between the the two actors.

Although they were both married to other people at the time, the pair fell in love during the filming of Cleopatra and eventually were married. Ahh, yes...what the heart wants, the heart gets.  

When speaking about his love Elizabeth, Richard quoted E.E. Cummings:

Elizabeth Taylor & Richard Burton
"Unless you love someone nothing else makes any sense."

Elizabeth was laid to rest yesterday afternoon at Forest Lawn Memorial in Glendale, California. 

54 films, 2 Oscars, 8 marriages, 4 children, 10 grandchildren, 4 great-grandchildren, a fabulous collection of jewels & 1 pair of violet eyes. 


A tremendous loss and a tremendous beauty.


 R.I.P. Dame Elizabeth Taylor

****

My loyal and dear readers it's finally Friday.
Whatever your plans are have an incredible weekend.~x

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

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