Cocaine Princess here.
These last few days were extremely busy for me. It was Fashion Week in the city and for someone like me that means work, work, work. Though my schedule was busy
I managed to find the time to post Part 9 of my Winter Vaycay. Enjoy my lovelies.
I didn't understand why Semper~Fi {SF} couldn't just pick up Gucci and take him out of the room. Obviously his "training methods" weren't working at all. Honestly, this dog was beyond help. He was definitely in the wrong profession of guarding. He needed to be in some kind of traveling circus side show. I was almost tempted to get Valentina to play ghost again- anything to get the dog out of my room, not that I had any intention of sleeping in that bed after what Gucci had done. In case you've forgotten what he did, click here.
SF continued with his commands. He was hell bent on "training" him and seriously I was beginning to think Gucci was "un-trainable" due to him being "special." I'm not sure how a dogs' brain works but I've seen enough dogs in my neighborhood that are able to understand and obey even the most simplest of commands: Sit, Stay, Fetch, Roll Over. But Gucci, sheesh, he was in a class all by himself......on a different planet that is. Each time Gucci would receive a direct command he would either do something strange or just lye there with a dazed and confused look on his face. SF ordered him one last time off the bed: this time he jumped off {Hooray} and went straight into the bathroom where he began barking at the towel on the counter that housekeeping had made in the shape of a pretty swan. At that point Semper~Fi's patience must have run out because he went storming into the bathroom with steam coming out of his ears and when he came out he was carrying the guard dog in his arms.
I decided to wait until the morning to call housekeeping so that night I bunked with Valentina. We never did get any sleep that night. We wound up talking and giggling. My best friend started the giggling process by asking me a question:
VALENTINA: Do you remember last Christmas?
ME: Seriously, how could I forget? Thanks to you we were forced to celebrate the most joyous holiday on Sandbox Island. FYI, I have no plans of ever returning to that island.
VALENTINA: Amen! How did you break the news to Bug Lady you weren't coming to her annual Christmas bash?
ME: I called her up and politely explained I had already made plans. And that was that. You?
VALENTINA: I told daddy to come up with an excuse for me. The less contact I have with her the better. Did she sound upset when you told her?
ME: Well she didn't break down crying but she understood and said my presence would be sorely missed. She sent me flowers and a really nice box of chocolates.
VALENTINA: She did?
I nodded yes and judging from the tone that came from Valentina's reply it was understood on my end she received neither flowers or chocolates.
VALENTINA: She sent you flowers and chocolates? I didn't even get as so much as
a card. Hell, not even a phone call!
ME: You just said seconds ago, “the less contact I have with her the better.”
VALENTINA: It’s hostess etiquette 101 to send your guests that won’t be in attendance gifts.
ME: In what book did you read that?
VALENTINA: The Hostess Etiquette Book According To The Fabulous Valentina.
I giggled. As far as I know there is no requirement on part of the host to send gifts to those who can’t attend. However, what is proper etiquette if one can’t attend a party is to send a lovely note or make a phone call explaining your reasons for not coming.
“Because of a prior commitment.....” “I am unable to accept.....” “I regret due to personal commitments....”
ME: Maybe if you had called her yourself you too might have received flowers and bonbons.
The key to declining any invitation is to be honest.....hmm, now that I think about it perhaps it was best that daddy covered for Valentina. Had she been honest she would have just outright said to The Host: "Your parties are a bore and that’s why I’m not coming. Good bye."
VALENTINA: We deserve a lot more than flowers and bonbons. We should be compensated greatly for all the pain we’ve endured attending her parties over the years. The dress I wore, it’s been dry cleaned 2x and the cleaners still can’t fully get rid of Bug Lady’s rotten perfume. Furthermore, I don’t understand why daddy feels the need to attend her soiree year after year.
I questioned if the usual suspects would all be there?
VALENTINA: Fat Balding Panamanian, Topless Barbie, Gilligan......yup! Isn’t it wonderful all the miles that separate us and them?
Valentina cuddled close to me.
VALENTINA: Sometimes when it’s really quiet at night I can faintly hear the sound of the sitar.....
And that’s when my giggling began. Sometimes when I start, it's hard for me to stop! If you've forgotten why I giggled, click here.
One of the things I love about winter vaycay {besides getting away from the cold weather and feeling the silky sand in between my pedicured toes} is being surrounded by my loved ones. Celebrating the yuletide in the tropics is something I look forward to every year. On December 25th after opening our presents my best friend and I slipped into our bikinis and headed down to the beach for a traditional Christmas breakie which consisted of salsa, chips and Margaritas. Although Valentina’s daddy spent Christmas Eve on Sandbox Island, he made it a priority to spend Christmas Day with his 2 favorite girls. Ringing in 2011 was awesome but waiting for the sun to set on New Year’s Eve so we could start to party took forever. I wasn’t the only one who felt that way either, all the hotel guests were all on edge, you know that pins and needles type feeling. Time went so incredibly slower than a turtle but when that Mexican sun finally did set my loved ones and I got our party on! At the stroke of midnight balloons and confetti fell, champagne toasts were done, New Years’ kisses were exchanged and wishes were secretly made. That night we danced until the wee hours of the morning. There's nothing like watching the gorgeous sun rise on January 1st.
Counting the days until next Christmas Vaycay.
GUCCI UPDATE
I spoke to Valentina on Wednesday and in the background I could hear a dog barking, I assumed it was Gucci. I of course was correct. So here is the latest: Gucci’s been having trouble getting along with the other guard dogs. You all know the timeless Christmas song “Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer” and you know the line that goes, “all of the other reindeers use to laugh and call him names, they never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games.” Gucci is in the same boat as the lovable reindeer. The other dogs refuse to have anything to do with him. He’ll do his bizarre antics in front of them and when he tries being friendly, the other dogs will gather in a pack and head in another direction. To quote Valentina:VALENTINA: That mental dog remains indoors now.
No worries to all my dog lovers out there, Semper~Fi has not given up on him.
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My loyal and dear readers, it's not just finally Friday but the 1st Friday of a brand spanking new month. April's Fools Day to be exact!
Whatever your plans are have a darling first weekend of April. ~x
XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess
