The Hideous Creature With 4 Legs

Cocaine Princess here.

I called Valentina today after she emailed me a picture of herself with her new hair cut. She decided to get her hair exactly cut and styled just like Rihanna's new cut that she debuted at the Grammy's. Prior to that Valentina had the Posh Spice Bob cut. I told her she looked beautiful, she really does. 'What does daddy think?' I asked. 'Daddy says I look adorable. Though I think he prefers my hair to be long like yours but as long as I'm happy, that's all he really cares about.' she replied.

My next door neighbors have 3 cute children ranging from 5-8. For Christmas the parents decided to surprise their kids with a dog. Truthfully I don't believe it to be a dog. It's a hideous looking creature with 4 legs and fur that resembles a dirty brown shaggy rug. Not knowing exactly when I angered the Sleep-Gods but the hideous creature barks only at night and when it does its' bark sounds raspy, like it has a sore throat. The bark begins at midnight and then stops after a few hours and then continues again at around 4am. Three doors down from the house behind me, the owners have a dog and at times that dog will join in when it hears the hideous creature barking and the two will bark in unison while at other times the one dog will try to outdo the creature's bark as if it was a barking contest. I don't sleep very well as it is and even if I was trying to relax in bed I can't because of the barking. I have tried covering my head under the pillows and even sleeping under the covers but it doesn't help. What works is listening to music with my head phones on and the music at full blast which drowns out the barking. The only problem with that is I run the risk of damaging my ear drums. I just wanted to open up my window but couldn't decide whether to yell SHUT UP!! at the hideous creature or throw it some HALLS. I don't know why all of a sudden the hideous creature is barking so much. The creature is kept in the backyard and my bedroom is in the back of the house so I can hear the barking loud and clear. The kids shower the hideous creature with such love and affection, it looks deformed but they don't care. The creature could easily get the lead if they were to ever make a film called 'The Hound From Hell.' Good lord it's an absolute eye sore. Yesterday morning 'A' noticed how I was even more exhausted than usual. I told her about the hideous creature and she asked me, 'why didn't you just sleep in the spare room?' You know how Homer from The Simpsons says 'D'oh!' That's exactly what I said. There's a spare/guest room in the front of the house and the thought of sleeping there didn't even cross my mind. Last night I decided to give it a try. For some reason I was feeling uptight and anxious so I thought if I watch some TV and have a light snack I'll be able to relax and unwind. I had a Jello pudding cup, fat free of course and tried to find something boring to watch on TV to make me feel sleepy but sometimes the boring things on TV seem interesting, I once sat through an episode of Star Trek. I decided to turn to the Lonestar channel. A channel dedicated to western programming. Perfect, I thought to myself. I don't like westerns especially the old ones in black and white and the boredom of watching one would sure enough make me fall asleep. You won't believe what was playing- Scarface. I forwarded the on-air programming guide, Assassins was on next and then The Mask Of Zorro and after that Speed and Speed 2. I don't know how these films fit into the Western theme unless the channel is trying to broaden their viewing audience. I went to see the film Scarface with my mom when it was released. I was under the age 8. Whenever the trailer aired on TV it showed Michelle Pheiffer's character wearing a long beautiful blue dress and getting into a see-through elevator. I just was interested in that one scene. When I actually got to see it on the big screen I was excited and said to my mom 'that's my dream house, the elevator house!' When the film was over I kept on repeating a phrase from the movie, 'never get high on your own supply' over and over again. My mom called me her little parrot and I had to promise her I wouldn't go around saying that phrase out loud in public. For those of you who have children you must be thinking, 'why kind of mother takes their child to see Scarface? It's not exactly a child-friendly film.' All I can say is my upbringing wasn't exactly ordinary. About 30 minutes into the movie I began feeling relaxed and sleepy and decided to go to sleep. I went into my bedroom first and the hideous creature was doing it's nightly ritual of barking. I then went into the spare bedroom and it was so peaceful. I felt as if I was a thousand miles away from the sound of the creature's bark. I was sleeping so deep until 'A' awoken me. I looked at the alarm clock. It was all blurry so I had to blink a couple of times. It was 5am. I said to her 'why? Why did you wake me?' 'I'm sorry,' she replied, 'but I had to. The police are here.'

To be continued.....

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess