'Why What Do You Think They're Going To Do, Grill Them In The Foreman?'

Cocaine Princess here.

There has been a cat that has been sitting on the ledge of my window for the past couple of days. It just sits there staring at me. I find it annoying. I don't want to close the blinds because I like looking at the outdoors now that the snow has completely disappeared. It doesn't matter where I sit on the couch because the way the couch is positioned and since it is a lengthy window the cat can be seen at any angle. I wouldn't mind so much if the cat was a pleasure to look at but it isn't one of those cute, adorable, fluffy like a cloud kittens you see on the commercials for Cottonelle, in fact it's the opposite. It's a creme colored, sick and anorexic looking cat with pointy ears. I don't know who the owner is, I'm guessing it belongs to someone in the neighborhood or it's lost. I wasn't going to leave it any milk just in case it had a couple of feline acquaintances in close proximity who were waiting to receive some sort of signal from their skinny ring leader, 'hey come on over the lady's got milk.' Yesterday I had quite enough of it. I was watching TV, Jerry Springer to be exact and didn't have a clue why the two guests were slapping each other around on stage. I kept looking at the cat. Of course the alternative would have been to ignore it and I did....for about five minutes. I don't know how to quite explain it other than it was just one of those infuriating moments. While Jerry was doing his final thought speech I got up and tapped on the window hoping to scare it off. The skeletal thing didn't even flinch. I tapped again and said, 'go away. There's no milk here.' My attention was so focused on trying to get rid of the cat I didn't hear 'A' come home from work. It was only a half day for her. She said, 'couldn't find anyone human to talk to darling? What's the matter, your little gaggle of friends all busy?' I turned around. 'This cat here, it just sits here staring at me. It's bugging me,' I replied. 'You didn't leave it any milk did you?' she asked. 'No.' Then just like that the cat meowed, jumped off the ledge and then leaped over the fence. 'Is it gone?,' she questioned. 'Yeah, ' I answered. ' How did you know?' 'It was easy. Just turn around and you'll see.' And I did. And I saw. 'Of course what didn't I think that,' I muttered. In front of the couch is the coffee table and on top is where I keep my fish bowl. 'A' moved the bowl to the kitchen table.

Later that same evening while waiting for Hell's Kitchen 'A' was seated nearby and jotting some things down in a notebook. I casually asked what she was writing. 'I'm organizing things for the get together party with the parents and children this weekend,' she replied. 'Oh God it's not another cookie exchange party?' I asked 'You didn't like the last one? You were a hit with the kids.' 'They used both my arms to wipe their sticky hands with and the one with the missing tooth used my knee as a napkin,' I explained. 'Rest assure it isn't a cookie exchange party. It's a sandwich exchange party.' For a minute I believed her. She's hosting an Easter party similar to last years. 'Is Froggie coming?' I inquired. 'No your boyfriend left for P.E.I. yesterday.' I then requested a favor from her. 'Please keep an eye on my fish when they come over.' 'Why what do you think they're going to do, grill them in the Foreman?' she asked. My mouth was open but no words came out except for a high pitch squeak and then I said, 'they kept tapping on the bowl when they came over to visit when your ankle was broken, and I think all that tapping freaked Nemo out. He hasn't been quite the same since.' 'You think Nemo may require counselling?' 'That's not funny,' I replied. Actually it was funny. 'You have my word. Your fish will be safe in my care,' she promised.

Hell's Kitchen
At the start of the show Gordon asked Paula and Danny who they thought was the weakest person on their team. Ben and Andrea were picked and were then asked why they deserved to stay on board. Ramsay listened and instructed for them to both hang up their jackets..... To trade them in for new jackets! White with black trim. The remaining 6 chefs were one team now.
The Challenge
Each chef had to make a creative dish using all 14 ingredients provided by Ramsay and had only 30 minutes. For the first time Gordon had only nice compliments when he tasted every contestant’s dish and was convinced he had selected the best chefs to stay on. In the end it came to Danny and Ben’s chicken. Ben was the winner for the reason he was the only one who cooked the drum part of the chicken which is the hardest. The reward was a trip to the culinary institute in San Francisco. I had a feeling Ben was going to be asked to pick one other chef to join him. I was right. He had 30 seconds to choose and he chose Robert!
The Punishment
The rest of the contestants were running back and forth unloading all the delivery trucks and inspecting and making sure all the items were accounted for.
Dinner Service
Ben’s chicken that won the challenge was a part of the dinner menu. For the first time since Hell’s Kitchen has aired this season there weren’t any problems with the risotto, Roberts’s scallops however were. They were rubbery forcing him to cook new ones slowing down the kitchen. Giovanni’s chicken was bloody and he wasn’t communicating back with the other chefs and then Robert decided to cook two different types of meat in the same pan. Midway through Ramsay read a ticket order and requested Andrea to repeat back what he had said and what it was she had to prepare. She said she didn’t know. Not a very smart answer. Chef Hot Head opened the kitchen door and in front of all the customers told Andrea to F-off and forced her to leave through the dining room with everyone looking. Hiding her face in shame she told the cameras to F-off. Head waiter John-Paul came running after her. He explained she needed to remain strong and go back. Ramsay quizzed her again what was on the ticket. She got it right this time. Giovanni was having a hard night and spoke back to Ramsay hard. By now I don’t have to tell you what Ramsay’s reaction was. In case you don’t know he went on a verbal rampage for several minutes but Giovanni kept his cool. What choice did he really have? To make matters worse Giovanni hot plate, by accident Robert ran into the plate and suffered 2nd degree burns on his finger tips. Dinner service was a failure, the kitchen was shut early and Paula was elected to pick two ‘idiots’ (Gordon's word) for elimination. It was Andrea and Giovanni. Ramsay voiced his own opinion by adding a third one needed to be on the chopping block, Robert. Who hung up their new jacket? Giovanni. An hour after they were told to return to their dorms Gordon called them all back down. He announced after the poor dinner performance, no one had the potential to run his restaurant so he was shutting down Hell’s Kitchen. Yeah I'm not buying it either.

My loyal and dear readers it's finally (Good) Friday and the long weekend.

I love Easter. The renewal of spring time, pretty pastel colors, eating chocolate bunnies (I like nibbling on the ears first) and Cadbury Easter Creme Eggs. The tradition of buying a new pair of shoes. The red heels I previously bought I decided don’t count which gives me a reasonable excuse to go shopping, but then again who needs an excuse to go shopping, right?

However it is you celebrate this long weekend may it be a beautiful one.-x.

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess