Cocaine Princess here.
Let's Review Part 1:
So why the “Well, well, well isn’t this interesting” reaction? Poodle Lady {PL} was dead set against having a strip mall built so close in our neighborhood and was so vocal at the meeting that she vowed she’d never go near any of the stores in the mall, so seeing her push a cart in the strip mall liquor store was quite a surprise.
....To Be Continued
And now for fabulous Part 2:
Sister looked at me and I looked at her. If you've been following my blog then you know precisely what sister said to me. It's 2 words and it’s always, always, always the same 2 words she uses whenever we encounter PL. If you don’t know I’ll give you a hint: first word starts with “B” and second word starts with “Y.”
A: Behave.........Yourself.
Those of you who guessed correctly– pat yourself on the back or better yet fix yourself a drink. And on this blog there’s 31 drinkies to choose from. My reply to sister’s famous 2 words?
ME: I make no promises and will not be held responsible for my actions.
An extremely worried look came over “A’s” face upon me saying the above and she wanted to know exactly what I meant. I reminded her it was she who had brought me to the liquor store in the first place against my will and therefore if I didn’t behave the blame would lye with her.
A: This cannot still be about the letter?
Yes it was but it wasn’t only about the letter. I’ve been friendly to PL. I’ve been kind to PL. I’ve even put up with her insults in my own home without saying a word back and despite all of that she is still mean and nasty towards me. Sister continued.
A: Darling you have to let it go.
ME: No I don't.
A: Since when did you start caring what people think about you?
ME: When she told everyone I was an atheist.....in print!
A: Who cares if she did? You know you're not one and besides it was just one little editorial- she was expressing her view. She's entitled to her opinion.
ME: Well it's in MY opinion that HER opinion is wrong. So there.
There we were, sister and I in the liquor store arguing in a low whisper in Aisle C- the aisle where they kept the pretty bottles of Chardonnay.
A: If she says something to you, do yourself a favor-- put it in one ear and out of the other.
Pfft! Yeah right! In life there are some things that are just easier said than done and putting the things that Poodle Lady says to me in one ear and out of the other is one of them. As we continued to walk down the aisle PL’s back was against us. In her hands was a bottle. She lowered her reading glasses from her head and began to read the label. As we got closer and closer to her I decided to say a really quick and silent prayer to the big guy. Unfortunately my prayer went unheard. It, err, I mean the thing, err I mean PL turned around and with her beadie eyes looked at the two of us.......Actually I take that back. She doesn’t LOOK. She GLARES. I most always try to avoid directly staring into her eyes for the fear she may turn me into stone. Remember Medusa? Anyways, she diverted her attention away from the bottle and instead turned her attention on us. And of course my sister had to have said hello. Seriously, would it have killed "A" if she just ignored her?
A: Hello. How are you?
PL: Not bad.
Then it was my turn. All I could come up with was half a smile which was very hard to do and although I nearly just about choked I managed to say:
ME: Hello. {I only said it to make sister happy otherwise I would have pretended I didn't see her}
I wrote this once before: I NEVER receive a "normal reply" from this woman......Hmm, I suppose it's because she's not normal. After giving me her traditional head to toe creepy stare which by the way she never does to "A" but only to me, while waving her bony finger she replied:
PL: You look inappropriate. That is not an appropriate outfit to wear in public.
Do you see what I mean about the "not normal reply?" My lovelies, I was wearing a green knee length sweater with beige leggings and of course a pair of gold colored stilettos. I dare you to name one thing that was inappropriate? Unless I did something to her in a previous life {which I'm beginning to think I did} and karma is punishing me now I honestly don't understand the cause of her unpleasant attitude towards me or why she constantly feels the need to criticize my clothes.
ME: I'm sorry you find my outfit inappropriate. Next time before heading out I'll call you over for a wardrobe consultation and won't leave until I have your seal of approval. We have a deal my friend?
PL: {Slight Pause} Back in my day if children were caught mouthing off to their elders they'd get their mouths washed out with soap and then be given the belt.
My dear Poodle Lady, back in your day the wheel hadn't been invented yet and you're talking about soap?.......In case you're wondering I didn't say that but oh boy did I ever want to. It was hard but I decided it was best to keep my mouth shut.
PL: Who were those people in your house during the summer?
Those people? Sheesh if you could have only heard the tone in her voice when she said "those people." Sister explained who they were {Boys of Summer} and I don’t know why she did considering it was none of Poodle Lady's damn business-- especially after the tone of voice she used when asking.
PL: And why were they staying at your house?
What the hell PL-- are you planning on writing a report about our house guests? Again “A” explained. I’m not sure who I was more furious at: Sister for feeling the need she had to answer PL’s snoopy questions or PL for asking the snoopy questions in the first place????!!!! Seriously, what business was it of hers? She put the bottle she had in her hands back on the shelf and with one hand on her hip she next asked:
PL: Why are you two here? I want to know.
Okay, that was it. I had just about had enough of her frigging questions– call it the straw that broke the camel’s back. Now it was time for me to ask PL a question.
To Be Continued....
****
My loyal and dear readers it’s finally Friday. Show of hands who is happy Friday is here!
Remember, Daylight Savings time ends this week so don’t forget to turn your clocks back this weekend. Turning the clocks back means we get one extra hour of sleep! *YAY! And here’s a true fact: for us up here out of all the months November is the month with the least amount of light. **YAY!
Whatever your plans are have an amazing first weekend of November.~x
XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess
**sarcasm
