Remember you were telling us moments ago how much you missed her.” This time the Host cradled my head in her bosom while patting my back. Sheesh! I had seen enough bosoms for one day. “Go ahead Princess, ask her the question,” she said and while looking at the host added, “there’s something she’s been dying to ask you about the party.” “What is the question dear?” asked the host. “I....I...um....um.......” I started to stammer.
Tsk, tsk tsk. My mischievous best friend had turned into a little devil that night.
“You remember Princesa - you wanted to know about the opera singer,” said cousin. Because I was looking at The Host I would have loved to see the look on Valentina’s face. I can only imagine she gave another mean look at cousin for coming to my rescue. “Yes, I wanted to know about the opera singer. Who is she? What opera will she be singing from?” I asked. To be honest I have no interest in the opera. The only opera I’ve ever seen and like is “Bugs Bunny: What's Opera, Doc?” The host was more than happy to not only provide me with details about the opera soloist but the sitarist, and the actors . All students had won scholarships to a dramatic arts school on the mainland. Money donated towards the scholarships had been donated by the Host and her husband. She invited the students to Christmas Eve dinner to showcase their talents. I thought it was a very sweet gesture on her part and I guess it explained the theme of the party......although the sitar player still didn’t make much sense. She then focused her attention on the others who all gave brief updates of what was new in their lives. Valentina instead of giving an update decided instead to tattle on the waiter who gave her the brush off. The Host responded back by promising she would have a talk with him. She noticed I was the only one who wasn’t drinking any champagne.“Why aren’t you drinking the champagne my dear?” I didn’t even have a chance to open my mouth when you know who spoke on my behalf and again mentioned the words Betty and Ford. The host took a hold of my hand and held on to it really tight. “My dear I had no idea, she said. “This is the reason we’ve been absent from your parties. The Princess has been in and out of rehab. She gets better but falls off the wagon very quickly.” All of a sudden a look of sympathy and pity appeared over the host’s face after Valentina little fib. I tried convincing The Host I wasn’t a lush nor had I been in any type of rehabilitation facility and explain why I wasn’t drinking. I don’t know if she believed me or not but I hope she did. She left and continued greeting and meeting with the other guests but not before giving me one more bear like hug. I gave Val another “look” not that it would have made any difference since she was in cheeky-mischievous mode times 10! “I have a good feeling her next fundraiser will be for AA. She might even name a rehab facility after you,” Valentina stated. I let out a sigh and she raised her glass of champagne at me and guzzled it down. I’ll say one thing, unlike me she can hold her liquor.
Without further a due “The Sitarist.”
Oh boy! What can I say about The Sitar Player? Well he, the sitarist came out with his own rug and was barefoot {being barefoot scores 1 point with me}, rolled out his rug and picked up his sitar that was lying to one side, sat down in a lotus position, closed his eyes and because I could see his lips move mumbled something to himself. “What’s he doing?” V asked in a whisper. “I think he’s mediating,” I replied. When he was done he opened his eyes and went from a lotus position to crossing his legs and spoke. The musician requested we all gather around him in a circle and hold hands. Cousin made this remark “If this Ravi Shankar wannabe asks we join him in a chorus of Kumbya I’m splitting.” And then it happened: The case of the giggles and this time it was real bad my lovelies. I mean REALLY bad. I let go of Valentina’s hand and put it over my mouth. I’ve had the bad case of the giggles numerous times before but this time it was a severe case, you know when you laugh so hard your eyes start watering? This is what was happening to me. All I can say is thank God for waterproof mascara. You might be thinking, it’s hardly anything to laugh at but at the time it just was. It was one of those moments where you just had to be there. I excused myself and went into the kitchen {I know it’s the last place you’d probably thought I’d ever go} to calm down. While I was there I saw someone: the waiter. Poor boy’s punishment for ignoring a Princess: loading the dishwasher. When I felt I had regained my composure I returned and rejoined hands with the others. The musician played 4 different pieces. 20 minutes we stood there holding hands in a circle listening to him play the sitar. You know how many seconds are in 20 minutes? I do. 1200 frigging seconds! I worked it out in my head while he played. “I bet you wished you had done those shots now?” said Valentina. Actually what I really wished is that I had a bottle of Advil in my evening clutch. The musician wasn’t very good. He sounded like he was fine tuning a piano. It was painful listening to him play and he was giving me an awful headache. Hmm, then again it could have been the perfume I was forced to inhale against my will. “Do you think he plays requests?” my bf inquired. “Like what? Madonna?” I questioned. “I was thinking more like Hotel Room Service by Pitbull.” “I’m sure that song will go over well with this crowd,” stated cousin. The giggles returned but thankfully I was able to keep it under control.
When his performance was over all the dinner guests clapped very loudly, they cheered, hell some even whistled. I think it was because he had finally finished, at least that’s why I was clapping. Following his performance was a brief break before the opera solo. It was funny to see how fast the room cleared out. Most everyone either went to the bar for a drink or disappeared outside to light up a ciggie. Valentina went to the rest room, well at least that’s what she told me. I had a hunch she went into the kitchen to torment the waiter. My slip up for telling her where he was. I returned to where I was sitting before and this is where things got interesting. Really interesting....
To Be Continued......
XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess
