The Return Of Senor Bling

Cocaine Princess here akaThe Atheist. I'm just kidding!

Mother Nature certainly has a sick sense of humor. On Friday we had a storm and she dumped 25cm of snow. On Saturday the weather was quite mild and on Sunday it started to rain which melted a lot of the snow. It was a relief to finally see some of the grass. And now we are under another winter storm watch. I'll always be a loyal Canadian but our winters are so wicked and cruel. The cold weather begins mid-October and usually ends in mid-May leaving our summers to be very short.

Valentina called today and the first thing that came out of her mouth: 'what the hell kind of backwards neighborhood are you living in?! I live in a country that's predominately Roman Catholic and nobody here made a stink about the book.' I live in a pretty up-scale neighborhood but many residents serve on the School Board of Education. I informed Valentina I had written another letter to the editor in response to what some of the people had written about me. I'm not quite sure if it'll be published but at least I spoke my mind. If they want to think I'm an atheist then let them. I'm certainly not going to bend over backwards trying to convince them I'm not. I don't even know the people in my neighborhood. I'm not the type to invite my neighbors over for coffee while we watch Oprah and Dr. Phil and gossip about other people. Not that I'm anti-social but I just have a different kind of social life. I can't picture myself in the future as a mom driving my kids to soccer practice in a SUV or wearing sweats and no make-up to the grocery store or to pick up the dry cleaning. Nor can I picture myself doing the laundry and then folding it or scheduling car-pooling and having get-togethers with the other moms to vent how our kids never listen or complain how our husbands would rather watch sports than go out for a romantic evening. Oh good-grief the horror! Not that there's anything wrong with that type of life. Many women are very happy and fulfilled with that lifestyle and I think that's great, after all we each have our definition of happiness. But that sort of life is not for me. Don't get me wrong. I absolutely love children and I hope one day I meet and fall in love with the man of my dreams and if I blessed enough to have kids I certainly won't be driving them around in a SUV. It'll be a shiny sports car with the top down and music blaring with a chauffeur of course. And I'll be dressed to the nines and known as the cool yummy-mummy just like my mom was. As for the cooking and cleaning, that'll be the maid's job because God knows I don't have a domestic bone in my body. I had a very unique childhood as did Valentina. A typical weekend for my classmates would be either having some sort of musical or dance recital or selling girl-guide cookies door-to-door or sleeping over at a friends house. For me a typical weekend was jetting off to another country with my mom. One particular weekend stands out. It was a Friday morning and mom and I flew to Miami. Valentina and her parents were at their Miami mansion for the weekend and had invited us. I was still in elementary school and mom said it wasn't a big deal if I missed one day of school. Over the years I missed several Fridays. During the daytime Valentina and I could do whatever we wanted. We would go to the beach and then go to the mall (I guess some things never change) and had lunch everyday at Wolfie's. I'd always order the egg creme first and then proceed with lunch. But when the glorious Miami sun would set and the moon and stars appeared that meant it was time for the adults to do whatever they wanted. Valentina and I would sit on the bed watching our moms get all glammed up for the night. After kissing and hugging us good night Valentina and I would cling to our mommies asking why we couldn't come along? It was always the same answer, 'you're too little.' They would leave on the arms of Valentina's daddy accompanied of course with an entourage of bodyguards to party at the club. As I'm writing this for the life of me I can't remember the name of the club. I'm drawing a complete and total blank. It was a popular members-only club in the Grove and the membership cards were made from brass. I'll call Valentina up later, she should remember. I would call her now but I'm on a roll and I don't want to disturb my train of thought.

The club had a notorious reputation for its' hedonistic atmosphere. Back then, the club whose name I still can't remember was the place to be seen in the 80's. My mom one time told me Miami during those days was a drug smugglers paradise. There was so much cocaine going around that you couldn't even find a single dollar bill that didn't have traces of the drug on it. (So often we read articles or hear how drugs bring about crime and destroy society. But Miami's economy profited very well from it. And people say drugs are bad) In one night Valentina's daddy would easily spend 6-7 grand on food, alcohol and tips. All the waiters loved serving the Kingpins because they were (and still are) the most generous tippers. On that particular night (my mom told me this years later) a gentleman was there at the club. He was dressed in a colorful silk shirt and had rows of gold chains around his neck. He approached the table where Valentina's parents and my mom were all sitting at and said to Valentina's daddy 'Good evening sir how are you?' 'Do I know you?' Valentina's daddy asked. 'No' the gentleman replied. ' So why the hell do you care how I am?' questioned Valentina's daddy. 'I just came over to introduce myself' explained the gentleman. He then extended his hand out in hopes that Valentina's daddy would shake it. But he didn't. Instead he lit up his cigarette and after taking two puffs he said to the gentleman, 'is this a habit of yours going up to complete strangers and introducing yourself? Are you running for office and looking for votes ?' 'No I'm just a friendly guy' the gentleman answered. 'I'm not interested in your friendship,' said Valentina's daddy. At that moment one of the bodyguards opened up his blazer so his gun could visibly be seen. The gentleman received the message and turned around and headed back to his table. Two hours later a waiter brought over a bottle of Dom P. and pointed out who it was from- the gentleman in the silk shirt. After tipping the waiter with five one hundred dollar bills Valentina's daddy instructed the waiter to send the bottle back and to give the gentleman in the silk shirt a verbal message. What was the message? 'Don't waste the DEA's money.' Yes, the gentleman in the silk shirt was none other than an undercover DEA trying to get close to Valentina's daddy, but he knew from the get-go he was undercover. How? I'm not going to reveal that. That whole scene is going to play out in one of my up-coming manuscripts. Meanwhile, Valentina and I would be at the mansion staying up late and eating cheesecake. I ate a lot of cheesecake back then usually drizzled with chocolate sauce, other times with a large scoop of ice cream and sometimes I'd have both. Then when I started modeling it was adios cheesecake and hello Slim Fast. God, it's been so long since I've had cheesecake. So long that I think I've forgotten what it tastes like. The sacrifices I make to stay thin. While other moms were busy on a Saturday night baking cookies for their child's sleep-over or heading a brownie troop my mom was partying at a club with a Drug Kingpin and his wife in sizzling Miami. I know at this point you must be saying 'forget the trip down memory lane CP and get to Senor Bling!' Forgive me but I'm feeling a little nostalgic. There's not a day that goes by that I'm not thinking of my mom. I like to believe she's watching over me. Today for some reason I felt like going through some photo albums. The first album I opened up was filled with photos of our trip to Miami which brought back a flood of memories. In each picture my mom was so happy and so healthy. Back then not even in my worst of worst nightmares could I have imagined she would go from happy and healthy to gravely ill without any warning. Like a knife twisting deep in my heart is what I feel each time I think how weak and frail she became. Part of me tries to block it out but somehow it'll slowly creep back into my head and play over and over again......Enough about that and on to Senor Bling. While I was still on the phone with Valentina and after the conversation about my letter to the editor she says 'Senor Bling is here at the house.' 'You're kidding?!' I said back. 'Daddy's having a big meeting. Valentina replied. 'I think something big is taking place and daddy needs to speak to some of the key players. One of the bodyguards was taking him into the living room just as I was leaving. I looked right at him.' 'And?' I asked. 'And he didn't make any eye-contact with me,' she said back. 'I have a feeling that daddy must have said something to him after you broke up with him or he just knows better. I should have given him the finger.' 'I'm surprised you didn't' I said back. Valentina continued talking about her daddy's meeting. 'All the men in suits are here and a few are dressed in camouflage (of course, the army I thought to myself) and a couple of politicians and some lawyers from the states. All hungry for daddy's money.' Even though I utterly despise Senor Bling, I will admit he is damn good at his job. 'You're never going to believe what happened today?' Valentina then stated. 'Daddy fired one of his bodyguards.' 'Seriously?' I asked. 'What happened?' Valentina explained: 'Every morning daddy has a meeting with his security team where they discuss whatever is on daddy's agenda, appointments and meetings and all that kind of stuff. One of the bodyguards came strolling in late. His excuse? He wanted to hear the score on the radio of some sporting event.' 'How late was he?' I questioned. 'One minute and 22 seconds,' replied Valentina. I can't say I was surprised. Her daddy is a perfectionist and working for him means you have to remain 110% focused all of the time. There are no time for distractions. Valentina continued, 'daddy said if he was so interested in sports he should have become a sports reporter.' Valentina was in the kitchen while on the phone with me. She tried listening in on the meeting. 'I can hardly hear a thing. I think I heard the word 'percentage or I think it was or something similar to that.' 'How long is the meeting for?' I asked. 'Probably a few hours and then everyone leaves. I doubt daddy will invite Senor Bling to stay over.' Each time Valentina spoke about Senor Bling I noticed how I felt nothing for him. No regrets about breaking up with him and any romantic feelings that I thought maybe still lingering inside of me were dead as a doornail. I felt good.

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

Oh damn! I was suppose to give you an update on Lawyer-Guy. Next entry, I promise. XOXO