Cocaine Princess here.
The universe is not being kind to me this week for two reasons:
1) As you know I have been selected for jury duty and I can't say I'm thrilled.
2) Duran Duran finally announced their world tour schedule and there are NO Canadian dates.
When will all this madness end! Yes it's true, I love Duran Duran and I am not ashamed to admit or say I am a Duranie! I may have to fly in to see them.
'Gilligan' phoned last night. He had been contacted by Valentina's daddy about me not wanting to appear for jury duty. 'Gilligan' says to me, 'there are ways I can get you out of it but I suggest you go.' The only response I gave was a combination of a sigh and a groan. So it looks as if the Cocaine Princess will be appearing in court. The municipality I live in is quite calm. Unlike in Toronto there are no daily shootings, murders or stabbings. My town's local newspaper has a police blotter section detailing the local crimes. (I may have exaggerated a little. It isn't so much of a section as it is a tiny sliver in the top right hand corner) It's almost always the same thing: a group of underage students are caught drinking or smoking pot on a Friday night behind the A&P or for some reason thieves love stealing power tools from various construction sites. I won't know until April what the actual case is but it's highly unlikely the court will be trying a case similar to the OJ Simpson murder trial. Afterwards Valentina called giving me yet another reason as to why I shouldn't be living in Canada: 'If you were living where I am the courts would have never dared to summon you for jury duty. The judicial system down here not only protects people like us but also has the sense to turn a blind eye.' It's true. Many judicial officials live in wealthy pockets. An important thought just occurred to me. Now that I am willing to appear for jury duty what am I going to wear? Not that any female needs an excuse but this is the perfect opportunity for me to go shopping for new clothes.
XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess
P.S. I have a desk calendar titled 'Jeff Foxworthy's YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF....'
For every day of the week for an entire year Jeff has written a reason as to why you might be a redneck. I found today's reason to be a humorous coincidence:
You Might Be A Redneck if: you've entered an insanity plea in small claims court.
