I have a couple of photo shoots lined up near the end of the month. I stay fit and healthy year round. I'm not on any diet plan such as Atkins and not even South Beach despite my love for the city and I don't avoid carbs. I watch what I eat but sometimes I'll pop a couple of Doritos in my mouth and sometimes even a spoon full of ice cream. I work out at home. I don't feel comfortable working out in a room full of strangers. I have a gym but I only use the treadmill and the ab cruncher which I bought after seeing it on The Shopping Channel. The other pieces just sit there collecting dust. When it comes near to shoot time I'll call a trainer just for that extra little push.
I had one trainer a few years ago who I hired on recommendation from a friend. He use to be in the army and after he served his tour he became a personal trainer. We would work out 5 days a week at 7am for two hours. One morning my alarm didn't go off, it was about three months into our session. It was 7:10 when he called from outside. I asked my sister who was on her way to work to let him in and inform him I would be with him as soon as I could. After scrambling to get ready, I'm coming down the stairs and who's waiting at the bottom, the trainer with his arms folded. He started yelling at me just like those army movies where the nasty general yells right into a cadets' face at the top of his lungs. Yelling I lacked discipline and focus! I was late for the first time in three months, a little excessive don't you agree? In the movies the cadets' don't flinch or even bat an eye. Me? I wanted to cry, I almost did. After that I was never late again. He was good at his job and whipped me into tip-top shape. I'm just thankful he moved away.
Saturday I met with the photographer and the stylist. As I'm being fitted for the outfit the stylist is telling me she wants to lighten my hair a little for the shoot. I had no problem with that. After she colored it she wanted to cut it. My hair is long and I prefer it that way. I refuse to cut it short. She says to me, 'I'll only cut off an inch and layer it.' So I agree. She chopped off 3 inches. 'You said an inch, you didn't say three!' I said to her. 'Your hair is still long, don't worry. Hair grows faster in the summertime. Your three inches will be back in no time.' Easy for her to say, it wasn't her hair. I kept looking in the mirror and to me it seemed a lot shorter. Meanwhile a few days ago Valentina sends me a picture of her new hair cut. She has very short hair. It was previously styled like Rihanna's hair from her video 'Umbrella.' After she cut it she sort of regretted it and wanted to grow it out. She did and went to the salon to get it styled. Instead she wound up cutting it even shorter after seeing Rihanna's new haircut from her latest video with Maroon 5. 'The hair stylist convinced me every girl was requesting the new Rihanna cut,' stated Valentina. 'It's popular here too,' I replied. 'I want my hair long like yours but I don't have the patience to grow it out,' she complained. 'What about extensions?' I suggested. 'I thought about it but nah,' she said back. 'Daddy says I look cute and adorable. He said the same thing when I had the bob.' 'Because you do look cute and adorable,' I told her. 'I want to look hot.' 'You do look hot but Valentina, no father is going to say or even think his daughter is or looks hot.' 'I guess so. Speaking of daddy we both read about your escapade on the 'S' bus, it was so funny. After reading it I kept on remembering when me, mom and dad and you and your mom would all get-together at the house in Miami.' 'And egg cremes at Wolfie's,' I said remembering. This is why I was a chubby child. I use to go there 3-4 times a day. Back then I had no idea what fat content was. 'I can't reminisce about the past with daddy,' Valentina sadly stated. 'Valentina some wounds never heal completely,' I explained. 'He misses you so much and wants to see you, so do I.' 'I know he called me,' I replied. 'He did, when?' 'He called from his office,' I told her. 'That's why I didn't know.' Whenever Valentina's daddy calls me from home, she's either nearby that I can hear her in the background or nine times out of ten she's on the other end.
I get home and all through the ride I'm thinking about my hair. I pull up in the driveway and get out of the car and once again I was hit in the back of the head with my neighbor's kids Frisbee. I swear to God it's like my head is a magnet or something for that orange kool-aid colored disc. The nanny once again rushes over. 'I'm fine, don't worry about it,' I assured her. Along with the kids was the hideous creature. It was so well behaved and wasn't acting crazy or even barking. It was kneeling and was quiet. But it's still sickening to look at.
When my sister returned home I ran to her and asked if my hair looked short. 'Turn around.' I turned around and said, 'well?! 'No. It looks really nice,' she answered. 'You're just saying that to make me feel better.' 'It's not short, your stylist layered your hair that's why you think it looks short. It's still long, okay.' To convince me she took a couple of pictures of the back of my head.
Sunday was a pretty boring day except for the two massive thunder and hail storms that came passing through. I hope this isn't what Mother Nature has in store for us this summer. I stayed at home and did a couple of things. In the late afternoon I'm watching TV and flipping through the channels and I see a local talk show is on. The topic, 'adults who torment.' I have an older sister and she did plenty of tormenting with me as all older siblings do, at least I hope so otherwise I had a really mean sister. Here are the top three things she did to torment me:
1)
When I was three years she told me a story: my real mommy was a bird and the mommy who was looking after me now, found me in a nest and decided to take me home on a temporary basis because one day my real birdy-mommy would return to take me back. I was half human and half bird. I thought it was true, she whole heartily convinced me. Every time I saw a bird flying above I would panic and think it would swoop down and get me. One day my sister and I are playing outside on the front porch. A red breasted robin lands and sits nearby. It doesn't fly away no matter how many times I tried shoo-ing it. My sister says, 'she could be the one.' I look at the robin and said, 'mommy?' The robin chirped back. 'Adios, it's been nice knowing you and having you around,' she said while waving goodbye to me.' I shrieked so loud mom came running out. I grabbed her leg and remembered saying along the likes of, 'I don't want to go, I don't want to live with my birdy mommy, don't let her take me!' My sister had no choice other than to confess to what she had done. 'Is that why she keeps flapping her arms whenever you two are playing together?' she asked A. 'I thought it was a type of game.' It took a couple of hours for mom to convince me and for me to believe I wasn't half human/half bird.
2)
A few weeks later she came up with a new torment. We're eating lunch when she asked me a question, 'you ever hear about the bogeyman? 'What's that?' I asked back. She explained in detail about a horrible looking monster who lives in the closet and comes out in the dark. 'Does he live in my closet?' I asked. 'Don't worry the bogeyman doesn't live in your closet. His sister does, the bogeylady.' 'No she doesn't,' I replied. 'I'm afraid she does. The bogeylady is way worse and scarier than her brother. So make sure when you go to bed you keep your closet closed and keep your light on.' 'Why?' 'If you don't she'll gobble you up when you're sleeping. Mom said when that happens she's going to give away all your toys and all your pretty clothes. You won't be needing them anymore. And then she's going to turn your bedroom into a second bedroom for me.' 'No, that's not true. My dollies live in my closet,' I replied. 'I'm telling mommy on you.' 'Go ahead. Mommy will just deny it and she'll get mad at me and make me tell you it was all a lie. Come on, we'll ask her together.' Once again I believed her. For the next couple of weeks after mom tucked me in bed I would turn the lights back on. On my night stand was a switch so I could easily turn on and off the lights without getting out of bed. Not only did I sleep with the lights on but to be on the safe side I slept hiding under the covers. One night mom came into my room to check on me. I was awake and all I heard was the door open. I thought it was the closet. I'm hiding under the covers thinking the bogeylady is coming to get me. I start feeling these hands on me and someone trying to pull the covers off. Before I had a chance to scream I saw it was mom. 'I saw your light on, why are you under the covers like that?' Sobbing I told mom about not wanting to be eaten by the bogeylady. My sister was downstairs with her boyfriend watching TV. She dragged her away from him and said, 'why would you tell her such a ridiculous story?' 'It was just a joke,' she replied laughing. 'It's not funny! Stop scarring her and telling her these things.' 'I didn't think she would take it seriously and believe me'. 'She's only three, of course she's going to believe you. Tell her you're sorry now and you made the whole thing up.' 'I'm sorry, there's no bogeylady or bogeyman okay. I made it all up,' she says pinching my cheeks. 'You forgive me?' I nodded yes. Downstairs the doorbell rang. It was the pizza my sister ordered for her and her date. 'Mom can you get that? 'I'll tuck her in.' So mom leaves the room and my sister is fluffing my pillow and I'm feeling relieved there's no monster coming after me. 'Are you comfy? Yes,' I answered. 'I told you mommy would say those things to you, remember?' she asked. She pointed to my closet. 'She's in there. Good night, hope to see you in the morning.' She switched off my light and left the room.
3) When I was five my sister was babysitting me one Friday night. She says, 'how about you and me watch a funny movie tonight? We'll make popcorn and eat pizza.' 'I want pepperoni and extra butter on my popcorn!' I exclaimed.
We're on the sofa eating and the movie begins. 'I know you're going to like this,' she says. The title comes on. 'Can you read that?' she questioned. 'The.... something,' I answered. I didn't know what the word after it was. 'That's a big word,' I said. 'What is it?' She tells me the word and I tried repeating it but I couldn't. So my loving sister broke it into syllables for me: EX-OR-CIST.
XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess
