San Andres Island: The Dinner Party II

Cocaine Princess here.

'The damn cat needs to be shot.' I didn't say anything but Valentina of course continued talking with her eyes fixated on Senor Bling. 'Who would have thought he would be invited but then again why wouldn't he be, everyone else is here.' She then looked at me. 'Aren't you going to say anything?' 'I'm thirsty?' I replied. 'You're thirsty? That's it?' she asked. 'I'm very thirsty. I need a coke,' I said. And then it happened. Valentina does this thing: she raises her left eyebrow and a tiny curl of a smile occurs on the corner of her mouth. In poker when a person is bluffing they sometimes have a tell tale sign, they may scratch their head or their nose do a twitch or something that is repetitive. A raised eyebrow and a tiny curl of a smile isn't a bluff sign for Valentina. It's more of a warning sign she's about to do something mischievous. 'Valentina whatever you're planning on doing just forget it,' I said. She didn't listen and got up. 'Oh God it's too late,' I thought to myself. 'What is she going to do?' She started walking towards to where they were all sitting. From behind she gave her daddy a hug and then a kiss on the cheek while staring at Senor Bling. Valentina gave him another look before walking away. On her back to me she made a stop at the bar speaking to the bartender and then returned herself sitting next to me. 'What was that about?' I asked. 'I felt like giving daddy a hug,' she replied. 'Really? You felt like giving him a hug?' 'And a kiss,' she added. 'You didn't feel like doing that ten minutes ago. And the fact that Senor Bling is sitting over there had nothing to do with it?' I asked. She looked back. 'I didn't notice he was sitting there,' she answered. Valentina did a good job of holding things together until she started to laugh. 'My God,' I said. 'What is the matter with you? There must be an anti-mischievous pill on the market for you to take. If not maybe daddy's chemists can come up with something.' 'Don't you think if they could it would have been created by now?' she said back. The waiter came by and placed two drinks in front of us on the table. They were each in tall glasses and neither of them resembled a coke. Instead the drinks consisted of orange and red colors blended together and garnished with an orange slice and a cherry. 'This is a Tequila Sunrise,' Valentina said pointing to the left glass, 'and the other is a Tequila Sunset.' 'Who are they for?' I questioned. 'For us,' she answered. 'One for me and one for you. Take your pick.' 'I wanted a coke,' I told her. 'Yeah I know but these are so much better. So which one do you want, sunrise or sunset?' she asked me again. 'Neither,' I replied. 'I drink either one of those and I'll be unconscious for about a week.' 'You say that like it's a bad thing,' she replied. 'I know you have trouble sleeping. These drinks are guaranteed to make you fall asleep tonight.' 'Or put me in a coma,' I said. 'When was the last time you had a full 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep?' she asked. I told her I couldn't remember. I sleep maybe 3-4 hours each night. '3-4 hours is not good,' Valentina said. 'You need sleep. Besides a glass of alcohol every night is suppose to be good for you. I read that in the New England Journal Of Medicine.' You know how sometimes you laugh so hard tears form in your eyes? This is what happened to me and thankfully my mascara was waterproof. After I stopped laughing and nearly falling off the sofa I asked, 'since when do you read the New England Journal Of Medicine?' 'I don't,' she answered. 'I read it in another magazine where they mentioned it and...look just pick one and drink it.' I told Valentina I was familiar with the article and informed her it wasn't tequila but a glass of red wine but still doctors cautioned people to consult their family G.P. before committing themselves to drinking a glass every night. I don't like to drink because my track record with alcohol is not good. When I turned 18 I thought wow! I'm 18. I'm an adult, I'm legal. So for my birthday I thought it would be fun doing shots. Fun no. Stupid yes. I didn't even get a chance to blow out my candles because I spent the entire night vomiting in the bathroom and for the next two days I was stuck in bed feeling so sick. On the third day I was finally able to blow out my candles and cut my cake. I love Pina Coladas but unfortunately if I drink them I break out in itchy hives. My favorite, favorite drink of choice would have to be Margaritas. I love the taste, the color, the scent, the look of it and licking the salt off the rim. Each time I drink one I feel dizzy, wobbly and so head-achy that I need to lie down which results in me going out like a light. And I get the same reaction to all other drinks. Someone suggested not to drink on an empty stomach. The only problem with that is the food just sits there and doesn't digest and then I feel sick on top of everything else. Alcohol doesn't react well with my body so I just gave up on it. On the very rare occasion I may have a glass of wine or some champagne only if I am in dire need of sleep but even then I sometimes won't. At every party there's usually one individual with a coke in their hands, that's me. 'If you're not going to have a drink then give daddy a hug and kiss but not from behind, go in front so Senor Bling will have a clear view of your derrière,' Valentina said. I closed my eyes and shook my head. 'I'm not doing that.' 'Then walk up to the bar, stand there for a couple of minutes, pretend you're ordering a drink and walk back. And when you do walk do your model walk.' I needed to ask Valentina a question. 'Are you sure you didn't have a couple of drinks before coming here tonight?' 'I'm sober,' she answered. 'Then why are you telling me to do these things?' I asked her. 'To make Senor Bling know you don't care or feel uncomfortable he's here in the same room as you are,' she explained. 'Valentina he could walk in here with a Playmate on each arm and sit right across from me and I wouldn't care nor would I feel uncomfortable.' 'Then let him know you don't care.' 'I'm not going to prove anything especially not to him,' I said back. Valentina got up again. 'Oh no,' I said. 'Don't worry. I just feel like sitting across from you,' she replied. And I knew why, she was now in direct view of Senor Bling. 'Aren't you upset what he did to you?' she asked me. 'Because I know I was upset.' 'You think I was thrilled? Of course I was upset but it's over and done with. I'm passed it,' I answered back. 'You're passed it? Dear God. You see what living in Canada has done to you- all that cold and snowy weather has made you un-Latin.' 'Un-Latin? I don't think that's even a word Valentina. But I can see you're not passed it.' 'And I never will for the way he hurt you,' she said. 'Why aren't you angry? You were more angry at your cleaning lady for bringing Fred over.' Valentina is a little old school on some things. When it comes to revenge she believes in 'an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.' 'So you're mad at me for not being mad enough at Senor Bling?' I questioned her. 'Sort of, yes,' she answered back. 'Valentina what do you want me to do?' I asked her. 'Walk over there and kick his head open?' 'I bet you could in those killer stilettoes,' she said looking at my feet. I was wearing my gold pair with the 4 1/2 inch heel. Sometimes in life you have to pick and choose your battles, determine which ones are worth fighting for and which ones aren't. There was no point in me getting revenge or fighting with Senor Bling since I didn't want anything to do with him. 'Looking at him you feel nothing?' she questioned. 'Nothing,' I answered. 'No old feelings are re-surfacing?' 'I swear to you, I swear on all that is holy, I feel absolutely, positively nothing for him.' Valentina just stared at me and didn't say a word. 'Do you not trust me?' I questioned her. 'Of course I do, with my life. It's him I don't trust,' she answered back. 'What do you think he's going to do to me? Drug and kidnap me to some deserted island?' I said. 'If it wasn't for daddy he probably would do that and brainwash you into thinking he's the love of your life. You need to do something.' I just flung my head back and signed. I looked at the drinks, they were beginning to sweat and I was so tempted not to drink one but both sunrise and sunset and hoping it would put me into a coma, anything that would put an end in talking about Senor Bling. 'Just explain how can you be so calm being in the same room with him? When was the last time you saw him?' 'When I broke up with him,' I replied. 'And if I recall two weeks into dating him you started looking at bridal magazines for bridesmaid dresses for yourself.' 'That was before I knew about him,' she replied back. 'I knew about him. I just chose not to listen to my heart. I was determined to prove it wrong but you can't because it's always right. So in a way it's my fault for what he did to me because I dated him.' Valentina gasped. 'How can you say that- it's your fault?' she stated. 'Because in a way it is. I was warned about him,' I replied. 'So? That doesn't mean anything. Why don't you just stick a knife in my heart. It'll be less painful than hearing you say it's your fault,' she said. Valentina looked at him again. 'He came here alone,' she observed. 'I bet he knew you were coming alone and thought if he came alone too you'd be under the impression he was single too and maybe you would change your mind and get back together with him.' 'What is it going to take for you to believe I will never, not even if he was the last man on earth and I was the last woman on earth be with him?' I asked her. 'In my opinion he got off easy- you let him off too easy,' she stated. 'Would you like it if I forgave him and took him back? And after a few months do to him what he did to me?' I questioned Valentina. 'No! Bite your tongue and bite it hard,' she answered. 'You're not planning on doing that are you?' 'No, I'm not that cruel,' I replied. 'That's your problem. You need to replace your sweetness with some venom,' she stated. 'Valentina listen to me and please listen good. Senor Bling could be standing right in front of me naked, drenched in honey and you know what my first reaction would be? Find a bee-keeper and tell him to release the bees.' An approving look finally appeared on Valentina's face. She said, 'daddy taught you so well.' 'I don't recall him telling me to use bees as a method of revenge,' I told her. 'Now are you or are you not planning on having one of these drinks?' she asked me again. 'Do I get my laptop back?' 'No,' she replied. 'Then I'm not drinking either of those.' I wasn't too bothered about not having my laptop, I just wrote in long hand. When the waiter came by I asked him for a coke but what I should have been doing was paying attention to Valentina. She had her phone out and said to me, 'do me a favor, can you turn around just for a second.' I should have asked why but I didn't. I could hear several cell phones ringing and each person began to see if it was theirs. It was Senor Bling's. I turned back and looked at Valentina. 'I just sent him a text,' she said..............

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

SEMPER FI: Uncle Sam Must Be Proud

Cocaine Princess here.

Shovel, Shovel
Toil and Trouble!!

People's backs are aching and everyone is moaning and groaning- and not in a romantic way either. Friday night we got hit with yet another storm. It lasted a full 36 hours. Since Jan. 2008 it's our 8th storm and we've received a total of 195.2cm of snow. Yesterday my next door neighbor, the one who owns the hideous creature with four legs was shoveling the driveway while swearing. It's gotten to the point where everyone is simply fed up and sick of the snow and cold weather. I received an email asking how I can stand all the snow and cold weather? Answer: You just get use to it. Being a Canadian means enduring long and harsh winters. It never seems like the snow will melt away but it does and spring/summer eventually arrives. But it isn't just Canada, the eastern part of the US gets hammered pretty bad too, in fact whenever they have a storm we too feel the effects.

I can't tell you how sorry I am and how bad I feel for the emails that were sent to you by 'anonymous' criticizing and insulting you for reading and liking my blog. I appreciate all of you for defending my blog and I. I especially like your reasons for why 'anonymous' is such a hater of my blog. It's because 'anonymous' is'

1) a Sh*t Bag
2) a repressed and frustrated individual with no social skills and lives in their parents basement sucking up welfare money
3) someone who is shunned by society
4) a religious freak
5) a middle-aged sag who caught her husband reading my blog and drooling over my pictures.
6) an over religious right-wing nut with nothing to do

7) a bum who lives at home mimicking their parents values

8) an ignorant coward.

I like to believe this person is a combination of all of the above. 'Anonymous' has been attacking me since I started blogging. I know this person is trying to provoke and anger me into writing about them on my blog. For the past month and a half 'anonymous' had been sending me trashy emails. I just deleted and ignored them. I'm sure 'anonymous' was expecting a response. But when I didn't that is when they began to attack the people who read my blog and I knew and 'anonymous' knew too I wouldn't stay quiet. Normally I'm not one to be easily provoked but provoke me enough and my flames will come out blazing so hot that it will burn you beyond recognition. It's not a good idea to become an enemy of a Cocaine Princess.

On Saturday I was stuck inside the house because of the stupid storm. It was horrible. My Saturdays are spent shopping so when I couldn't go out you can imagine how devastated I was. When I was little I didn't mind the snow so much. I enjoyed going sledding and skating and making snow angels and snowmen until I got a taste of the tropical climate. It was in mid January and my mom had taken me to the Miami. We ate lunch on a restaurant patio while feeling a light and cool breeze of a nearby palm tree. It was precisely on that day I began hating the snow. Depressed and not being able to shop I decided maybe there was something good to watch on TV to get my mind off the storm. Fat chance of that happening since all the local channels were reporting on the storm while the other channels were airing various sporting events. I flipped on over to the movie channels and the only thing that seemed interesting was the JAWS marathon starting with the first part and ending with JAWS IV. It lasted close to nine hours. I only saw the first one. I wasn't in the mood to watch a bunch of sunbathers becoming a dinner meal while I was once again stuck inside on account on the damn weather.

Valentina called on Saturday and the first thing that came out of her mouth, 'I am not mischievous!' (If you recall in my entry titled GILLIGAN WEARING ARMANI I wrote how Valentina had a mischievous side after learning she emailed pictures of me to Senor Bling)

'Oh really,' I said. 'Bring the present Lawyer-Guy sent you and I'll have it x-rayed at the airport. What do you call that?' I asked. 'Being brilliant,' she replied. 'I just didn't count on daddy finding out so quickly.' While talking with me on the phone Valentina kept on crunching on something so I asked what she was eating? 'Zucharitas,' she answered. Zucharitas is Latin America's name for Frosted Flakes cereal. It's the exact same cereal with Tony the Tiger on the box saying "they're great" but only in Spanish. 'You haven't emailed any more pictures of me to Senor Bling have you?' I questioned. Even though she promised me she wouldn't I wasn't entirely convinced. For all I know her fingers could have been crossed. 'I promised you I wouldn't and thanks to you I also had to promise daddy I wouldn't either.' 'Daddy?' I questioned. 'Yes daddy,' she replied. 'You had to blab about it on your blog,' she complained. 'What did he say?' I asked. 'He calls me into his den and he's at his computer at your blog page,' she started to explain. 'He starts reading out loud the part where I told you I emailed the pictures to Senor Bling and daddy asked why I did it? I told him I was punishing him for what he did to you. Daddy said Senor Bling already knows he blew it with you and that's when I had to promise him I wouldn't send him anymore pictures and...' She didn't finish the sentence. 'And?' I curiously asked. 'And then daddy told me to stop being so mischievous.' 'See! Even daddy agrees with me!' I exclaimed. She continued. 'So you don't have to worry, I won't be emailing any more pictures otherwise I may run the risk of getting my credit cards confiscated.' 'Good God we can't have that happening,' I stated. 'Every mall in Latin America would close down without your business.' 'Not that daddy would ever confiscate my cards but if he did I have all the credit card numbers including the expiry dates memorized,' Valentina said laughing. (I wrote before when Valentina was younger she was mischievous. I forget to mention she was also curious. Curious about anything and everything. As she got older the curious side of her faded away but the mischievous side of her remained. Valentina's daddy is an extremely tough businessman and a person who you really don't want to get angry but when it comes to Valentina he's a big softee. She's an only child and in her daddy's eyes she can absolutely do no wrong) She then gave me a message from her daddy. 'Daddy wants you to know he loves you eternally, misses you terribly and as beautiful as you look he wishes you would post photos with just a little more clothing. But don't ok because Senor Bling knows your blog page. Let him continue to suffer for the rest of his life.' I was then told by Valentina how angry her daddy became after reading the entry titled Punk-Ass Little Bitch. 'Oh God how angry is angry?' I asked biting down on my lip. 'Daddy is so angry that he wants to spill the punk ass little bitch's blood and so do I! The fact that punk-ass insulted your mom and my mom too since we were both raised the same way made daddy's vein in his forehead bulge out and throb. If the bitch is reading this daddy has a message: Punk-ass if you continue to bother or insult the Cocaine Princess my people will eventually track you down and obliterate you. Don't think by being anonymous you're safe.' I'm sure by now you're all aware it isn't smart to harass someone connected to the Cartel. If anything it's lethal and fatal. Just as Valentina was about to tell me something else she said, 'hang on a second.' I could hear her talking to someone but didn't know who. 'I have to call you back,' she said. After about an hour she called back. Our conversation was interrupted by, let's just call him Senor Dinero, Valentina's daddy's cousin who serves as his accountant was questioning Valentina about a recent purchase she had made while in Panama. I was suppose to be with her on that trip but couldn't get out of the house because of snow storm #7. Valentina purchased a diamond bracelet. The credit card statement read: $4500.00 -1 of 5. Senor Dinero wanted to know why she didn't charge it all at once? She explained the store was having an anniversary sale and was offering customers an installment plan. Senor Dinero informed Valentina the installment plan was just a way for the store to lure customers in. He needed the jewelery store's number so he could call them to cancel the installment plan and just charge it all at once. The sales associate failed to inform the princess the installment payments came with a high interest rate. 'Every month I feel like I'm on trial where I have to defend my purchases to him.' she stated. 'Last month he asked why I paid $15,000.00 for a handbag? I told him that's how much it cost. He then asked why did it cost so much? I told him it was Hermes and then I questioned him how much his alligator shoes cost?' 'What did he say?' I asked. 'He didn't answer the question,' she replied. 'He's got four Lamborghinis that he doesn't even drive. He keeps them in his garage and he's questioning me about my Hermes bag?! I told him daddy doesn't complain about my purchases so why are you? He replied, I'm not complaining. I'm your daddy's accountant. I have to make sure that all these purchases were made by you and not somebody else. That's when he started lecturing me about credit card id theft. I just rolled my eyes at him.' 'You didn't?' I said. 'I did,' Valentina proudly replied. 'And the reason I couldn't stay on the phone was because Senor Dinero needed me to gather all the receipts from the past month so he could match it up to the credit card transactions. He ended by saying he was going to talk to daddy about putting me on a budget.' At that point I got very worried and I think I may have even felt the earth move a little. There are a lot of things you just don't say to a Cocaine Princess, such as: do the dishes, vacuum the rug, do the laundry, cook dinner- basically anything that involves domestic duties is off limits. As for telling a Cocaine Princess she is going to be on a budget, well that's close to being at the top of the list of things not to say. 'Is Senor Dinero still breathing?' I asked. 'Yeah he's breathing,' she answered, 'and he's lucky he still is. He said he was just kidding.' Right before Senor Dinero began to interrogate Valentina, she was on the verge of telling me something so I asked her what it was. Her daddy finally replaced the bodyguard he fired. 'What's he like?' I asked. 'I don't think he's human,' she replied. 'When daddy was introducing me to him he shook my hand and I think he crushed a couple of my bones. His hands are the size of a loaf of bread but made from concrete. This one is Russian. He served in the army and then was a police officer for a few years.' I knew her daddy was acquainted with a couple of Russian businessmen and asked if the new bodyguard came recommended by them. 'It's possible' Valentina said, 'but I don't think so. Daddy doesn't trust or listen to anyone's opinions in certain matters except his own.' Three years ago I met the Russian businessmen at a party. There were three of them, a father, his son and son-in-law. All I really remember is they smoked a lot of stinky cigars, spoke in a very thick accent and barely cracked a smile until the alcohol was served. The entire security detail who are employed by Valentina's daddy must have some sort of military and/or police training among other things. One bodyguard that is employed is an ex-US marine. Tattooed on the inner part of his arm is a nautical sign followed by the US flag with words SEMPER FI below it. Uncle Sam must be proud.

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

Gilligan Wearing Armani

"There Is Nothing New Under The Sun"

Cocaine Princess here.

I just have a brief message for someone who has left me 20 emails- as much as I hate the hideous creature's bark I am not going to kill it nor am I going to have it killed. I am a human being with love and compassion. You know who you are, so please I beg you stop otherwise I'm going to have to block you. Some of you sensible ones suggested I contact city hall. I looked into it and there is someone I can complain to. The best part of it is they will never reveal who is doing the complaining. They just say 'we have been receiving complaints from your neighborhood....' For the past couple of days we've been having a cold snap. We've hit -27C and because it is so cold the hideous creature is being kept inside.

Valentina called me today. She was in the kitchen having breakfast and said, 'on Friday daddy had this huge crate delivered to him. Inside were 12 bottles of Cristal Rose all from the year 2000. I figured daddy must have ordered it for his collection until I saw the return address on the crate this morning. It said Miami.' 'Was it from one of daddy's business associates?' I asked. 'That's what I thought,' Valentina replied, 'until I saw the card inside. It was from Senor Bling.' 'Senor Bling,' I repeated. 'Yeah,' she answered. 'Why?' I asked. 'To celebrate his club opening, you know the one in Acapulco,' she answered back. 'Oh my God,' I said. 'I completely forgot about that.' If you've been reading my posts from day one then you might remember when I wrote about Senor Bling (I was dating him at that time) purchasing a piece of land in Acapulco to build a club and construction began about a year ago. His club didn't even cross my mind when I was in Acapulco over the Christmas holidays. 'When is the opening?' I asked. 'In about three weeks,' Valentina answered. 'Is daddy going?' I then asked. 'No,' she answered and explained why. 'Even though the club is buried under a 1000 different names Daddy told Senor Bling to keep a very low key, in fact he told him to keep his distance from the club and to just sit back and enjoy the money come rolling in. So even if you were still dating him you wouldn't have been able to walk into the club on his arm. But if you were dating him and could go to the opening, you'd probably have one killer outfit to wear.' 'I remember him telling me that once his club opened in Acapulco he was going to open up a second one in Miami,' I told Valentina. 'That's what Miami needs, another nightclub,' she said sarcastically. 'I don't think that's going to happen at least not anytime soon. For whatever reason daddy and his lawyers advised Senor Bling not to open one there.' Then all of a sudden Valentina's voice changed. 'Speaking of Senor Bling,' she sweetly said, 'you'll never guess what I did?' 'Oh God. What did you do?' I nervously asked. See, I know her and whenever Valentina's voice goes into a sweet-sing-song type I know she's done something. 'You know those new photos you uploaded? I emailed those to him.' 'What?! Why?!' I exclaimed. Valentina just giggled. 'What were you hoping to accomplish?' I asked. 'Two things,' she replied. 'And they are....?' I asked. 'One, the satisfaction of knowing that Senor Bling can never ever have you in any way,' she answered. 'And two was purely just a reminder.' 'A reminder of what?' I asked. 'I was reminding him how stupid he is and how stupid he should feel for blowing it big time with you. He lost a damn good thing,' she stated. Not that I'm boasting but it's true. I was a damn wonderful girlfriend to him in every possible way. 'I don't know why you're so upset,' she then said, 'he's seen you in a lot less clothing.' I told Valentina I was concerned he would get the wrong idea. 'I don't want him thinking that I put you up to it. And I don't want him thinking maybe she'll take me back or even worse, maybe she wants me back.' 'After what he did to you would you ever take him back?' she asked. 'God no!' I replied. 'Not if he and I were the last two people on earth.' I then asked if he knew for sure they were from her and not me. 'Trust me, he knows they weren't sent by you. You know what I wrote in the subject line?' I was too afraid to know but I decided to ask anyways. 'I wrote...' Valentina tried telling me but she broke out in laughter and then dropped the phone. And then I started laughing. After we finally stopped she told me. 'I wrote: "Hey Stupid Look What You're Missing Out On!!" I made Valentina promise she wouldn't email anymore pictures of me to Senor Bling. She said she wouldn't but honestly I don't know. Valentina has somewhat of a mischievous side to her. After we finished the subject of Senor Bling we started discussing my new lawyer, the one who replaced Lawyer-Guy. Valentina informed me that he was at the house. 'He arrived earlier in the week along with some of daddy's other lawyers. I didn't even know it was him until daddy told me.' And then she began to complain. 'Daddy's been so busy working this week and then he has these meetings that last from sunrise to sunset.' 'If daddy isn't busy working how can he make money for you to spend?' I questioned her. 'So, so true,' she said back. I was curious what my new lawyer looked like so Valentina gave me a description. 'You know Gilligan from Gilligan's Island? Picture him in glasses and dressed head-to-toe in Armani.'

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

The Return Of Senor Bling

Cocaine Princess here akaThe Atheist. I'm just kidding!

Mother Nature certainly has a sick sense of humor. On Friday we had a storm and she dumped 25cm of snow. On Saturday the weather was quite mild and on Sunday it started to rain which melted a lot of the snow. It was a relief to finally see some of the grass. And now we are under another winter storm watch. I'll always be a loyal Canadian but our winters are so wicked and cruel. The cold weather begins mid-October and usually ends in mid-May leaving our summers to be very short.

Valentina called today and the first thing that came out of her mouth: 'what the hell kind of backwards neighborhood are you living in?! I live in a country that's predominately Roman Catholic and nobody here made a stink about the book.' I live in a pretty up-scale neighborhood but many residents serve on the School Board of Education. I informed Valentina I had written another letter to the editor in response to what some of the people had written about me. I'm not quite sure if it'll be published but at least I spoke my mind. If they want to think I'm an atheist then let them. I'm certainly not going to bend over backwards trying to convince them I'm not. I don't even know the people in my neighborhood. I'm not the type to invite my neighbors over for coffee while we watch Oprah and Dr. Phil and gossip about other people. Not that I'm anti-social but I just have a different kind of social life. I can't picture myself in the future as a mom driving my kids to soccer practice in a SUV or wearing sweats and no make-up to the grocery store or to pick up the dry cleaning. Nor can I picture myself doing the laundry and then folding it or scheduling car-pooling and having get-togethers with the other moms to vent how our kids never listen or complain how our husbands would rather watch sports than go out for a romantic evening. Oh good-grief the horror! Not that there's anything wrong with that type of life. Many women are very happy and fulfilled with that lifestyle and I think that's great, after all we each have our definition of happiness. But that sort of life is not for me. Don't get me wrong. I absolutely love children and I hope one day I meet and fall in love with the man of my dreams and if I blessed enough to have kids I certainly won't be driving them around in a SUV. It'll be a shiny sports car with the top down and music blaring with a chauffeur of course. And I'll be dressed to the nines and known as the cool yummy-mummy just like my mom was. As for the cooking and cleaning, that'll be the maid's job because God knows I don't have a domestic bone in my body. I had a very unique childhood as did Valentina. A typical weekend for my classmates would be either having some sort of musical or dance recital or selling girl-guide cookies door-to-door or sleeping over at a friends house. For me a typical weekend was jetting off to another country with my mom. One particular weekend stands out. It was a Friday morning and mom and I flew to Miami. Valentina and her parents were at their Miami mansion for the weekend and had invited us. I was still in elementary school and mom said it wasn't a big deal if I missed one day of school. Over the years I missed several Fridays. During the daytime Valentina and I could do whatever we wanted. We would go to the beach and then go to the mall (I guess some things never change) and had lunch everyday at Wolfie's. I'd always order the egg creme first and then proceed with lunch. But when the glorious Miami sun would set and the moon and stars appeared that meant it was time for the adults to do whatever they wanted. Valentina and I would sit on the bed watching our moms get all glammed up for the night. After kissing and hugging us good night Valentina and I would cling to our mommies asking why we couldn't come along? It was always the same answer, 'you're too little.' They would leave on the arms of Valentina's daddy accompanied of course with an entourage of bodyguards to party at the club. As I'm writing this for the life of me I can't remember the name of the club. I'm drawing a complete and total blank. It was a popular members-only club in the Grove and the membership cards were made from brass. I'll call Valentina up later, she should remember. I would call her now but I'm on a roll and I don't want to disturb my train of thought.

The club had a notorious reputation for its' hedonistic atmosphere. Back then, the club whose name I still can't remember was the place to be seen in the 80's. My mom one time told me Miami during those days was a drug smugglers paradise. There was so much cocaine going around that you couldn't even find a single dollar bill that didn't have traces of the drug on it. (So often we read articles or hear how drugs bring about crime and destroy society. But Miami's economy profited very well from it. And people say drugs are bad) In one night Valentina's daddy would easily spend 6-7 grand on food, alcohol and tips. All the waiters loved serving the Kingpins because they were (and still are) the most generous tippers. On that particular night (my mom told me this years later) a gentleman was there at the club. He was dressed in a colorful silk shirt and had rows of gold chains around his neck. He approached the table where Valentina's parents and my mom were all sitting at and said to Valentina's daddy 'Good evening sir how are you?' 'Do I know you?' Valentina's daddy asked. 'No' the gentleman replied. ' So why the hell do you care how I am?' questioned Valentina's daddy. 'I just came over to introduce myself' explained the gentleman. He then extended his hand out in hopes that Valentina's daddy would shake it. But he didn't. Instead he lit up his cigarette and after taking two puffs he said to the gentleman, 'is this a habit of yours going up to complete strangers and introducing yourself? Are you running for office and looking for votes ?' 'No I'm just a friendly guy' the gentleman answered. 'I'm not interested in your friendship,' said Valentina's daddy. At that moment one of the bodyguards opened up his blazer so his gun could visibly be seen. The gentleman received the message and turned around and headed back to his table. Two hours later a waiter brought over a bottle of Dom P. and pointed out who it was from- the gentleman in the silk shirt. After tipping the waiter with five one hundred dollar bills Valentina's daddy instructed the waiter to send the bottle back and to give the gentleman in the silk shirt a verbal message. What was the message? 'Don't waste the DEA's money.' Yes, the gentleman in the silk shirt was none other than an undercover DEA trying to get close to Valentina's daddy, but he knew from the get-go he was undercover. How? I'm not going to reveal that. That whole scene is going to play out in one of my up-coming manuscripts. Meanwhile, Valentina and I would be at the mansion staying up late and eating cheesecake. I ate a lot of cheesecake back then usually drizzled with chocolate sauce, other times with a large scoop of ice cream and sometimes I'd have both. Then when I started modeling it was adios cheesecake and hello Slim Fast. God, it's been so long since I've had cheesecake. So long that I think I've forgotten what it tastes like. The sacrifices I make to stay thin. While other moms were busy on a Saturday night baking cookies for their child's sleep-over or heading a brownie troop my mom was partying at a club with a Drug Kingpin and his wife in sizzling Miami. I know at this point you must be saying 'forget the trip down memory lane CP and get to Senor Bling!' Forgive me but I'm feeling a little nostalgic. There's not a day that goes by that I'm not thinking of my mom. I like to believe she's watching over me. Today for some reason I felt like going through some photo albums. The first album I opened up was filled with photos of our trip to Miami which brought back a flood of memories. In each picture my mom was so happy and so healthy. Back then not even in my worst of worst nightmares could I have imagined she would go from happy and healthy to gravely ill without any warning. Like a knife twisting deep in my heart is what I feel each time I think how weak and frail she became. Part of me tries to block it out but somehow it'll slowly creep back into my head and play over and over again......Enough about that and on to Senor Bling. While I was still on the phone with Valentina and after the conversation about my letter to the editor she says 'Senor Bling is here at the house.' 'You're kidding?!' I said back. 'Daddy's having a big meeting. Valentina replied. 'I think something big is taking place and daddy needs to speak to some of the key players. One of the bodyguards was taking him into the living room just as I was leaving. I looked right at him.' 'And?' I asked. 'And he didn't make any eye-contact with me,' she said back. 'I have a feeling that daddy must have said something to him after you broke up with him or he just knows better. I should have given him the finger.' 'I'm surprised you didn't' I said back. Valentina continued talking about her daddy's meeting. 'All the men in suits are here and a few are dressed in camouflage (of course, the army I thought to myself) and a couple of politicians and some lawyers from the states. All hungry for daddy's money.' Even though I utterly despise Senor Bling, I will admit he is damn good at his job. 'You're never going to believe what happened today?' Valentina then stated. 'Daddy fired one of his bodyguards.' 'Seriously?' I asked. 'What happened?' Valentina explained: 'Every morning daddy has a meeting with his security team where they discuss whatever is on daddy's agenda, appointments and meetings and all that kind of stuff. One of the bodyguards came strolling in late. His excuse? He wanted to hear the score on the radio of some sporting event.' 'How late was he?' I questioned. 'One minute and 22 seconds,' replied Valentina. I can't say I was surprised. Her daddy is a perfectionist and working for him means you have to remain 110% focused all of the time. There are no time for distractions. Valentina continued, 'daddy said if he was so interested in sports he should have become a sports reporter.' Valentina was in the kitchen while on the phone with me. She tried listening in on the meeting. 'I can hardly hear a thing. I think I heard the word 'percentage or I think it was or something similar to that.' 'How long is the meeting for?' I asked. 'Probably a few hours and then everyone leaves. I doubt daddy will invite Senor Bling to stay over.' Each time Valentina spoke about Senor Bling I noticed how I felt nothing for him. No regrets about breaking up with him and any romantic feelings that I thought maybe still lingering inside of me were dead as a doornail. I felt good.

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

Oh damn! I was suppose to give you an update on Lawyer-Guy. Next entry, I promise. XOXO

Senor Bling Sent Me A Package

There Is Nothing New Under The Sun

Cocaine Princess here. I thank you all for your comments and I love reading your emails. I am so glad you all enjoyed my Q&A. And yes I will be posting more Q&A. I have just been so busy. Even though I get my story ideas from the people around me it isn't as easy as one might think.
Late this morning the doorbell rings and I received two packages. One was from Victoria Secret. My leopard thigh high boots arrived just in time, now that the cold weather is here I can't wait to wear them. They fit like a glove and the material is so smooth and velvety. The other package was from Senor Bling. I put it down to one side. I thought about burning it at first but I called Valentina instead. I know a lot of you want to know what happened between Senor Bling and I. All I can say is, I should have listened to Valentina's daddy. He warned me about him but I didn't listen, I wanted to see for myself and make my own judgment. I'm so angry at myself for not listening to my feelings. We all have that little voice inside of us, I like to call it the voice of my heart. It kept on warning me but I chose to ignore it. I have no one to blame but myself. I shook the box and I could hear a little bit of rattling. Valentina insisted I open it while on the phone with her but I chose not to. Later on in the day I took it back to the post office and told them to Return To Sender. I have a very hard time forgiving people especially when someone hurts me. I'm a firm believer that if someone hurts you no matter how apologetic they are, eventually they will hurt you again. So I cut them out of my life for good regardless of who they are. It may sound drastic but that's the way I am. Later on in the evening the doorbell rang again and there was a floral delivery- 12 dozen roses. The florists van was filled with red roses in vases. Like roses can make up for what he did to me. I told the delivery man that I was refusing delivery. He looked at me and then asked me again if I wanted to sign for delivery and again I told him no. This was the first time in 10 years he told me a woman ever refused flowers. I don't give a damn how much he spent. Senor Bling could buy me the entire world and it still wouldn't be enough. I blocked my email address since he sent over 50 emails and I also blocked his number from my cell and home phone. As far as I'm concerned Senor Bling is dead to me. I even sent back the necklace and clothes he bought me in Miami. There are no second chances with a Cocaine Princess, ever!!!!

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess