Cocaine Princess here and oops I did it again! It seems as if I upset some of you by leaving my entries as some of you say 'HANGING!' I don't mean to. It's just my style of writing. So please don't be mad. And yes you will find out what Lawyer-Guy sent me in this entry. And no, it wasn't a vibrator as someone suggested.
I just stood in the doorway praying for several minutes. 'Oh God please make it not be from Lawyer-Guy.' But then I thought if it was from him that means he's not six feet under unless he's missing and the police have yet to find his body. I looked at the flowers and they weren't roses. Instead they were orchids. Someone must really know me I thought to myself. I managed to move my feet closer to the nightstand and saw a mini pink colored envelope in the bouquet. I closed my eyes and held my breath as I plucked out the envelope hoping that somehow Lawyer-Guy didn't find out that I prefer orchids over any other flower. I opened my eyes and let out a huge sigh of relief, the orchids weren't from him but from Valentina's daddy. I looked up and said 'thank you.' I figured the Fed-Ex envelope must have been from him too. I picked it up and saw it was from him and the address was from one of his offices. (As I opened the envelope, the doorbell rang downstairs) Inside were several pages of documents, mostly copies. The first was a letter written by my new lawyer (I had no idea about getting a new Lawyer. I don't even know what he looks like) There was a great deal of legal jargon but in plain English: the letter was written on my behalf stating that I would no longer be needing Lawyer-Guy's services because I had changed lawyers and there was a request that all documents involving my mom's estate be all transferred to his (new lawyer) office right away. Attached to the letter was a copy of a cheque for a huge amount (paid by Valentina's daddy under one of his companies) for any outstanding services that had yet to be paid. Near the end of the letter there was also somewhat of a warning that under no circumstances Lawyer-Guy was to contact me in any way. Later I found out that my new Lawyer did a trace on the letter that was sent to Lawyer-Guy. When he found the exact time the letter had been signed for he sent a fax to Lawyer-Guy's secretary indicating that he (Lawyer-Guy) had 24hours to transfer all documents. Among the documents was a personal hand-written note from Valentina's daddy simply stating 'please change your phone # asap.' 'A' then knocked on the door and handed me another package. This time it was a gold rectangular box with a matching gold bow. There was no return address, stamps or anything. I looked at 'A.'
'Where did this come from?' I asked her. She explained when she answered the door there was a big and muscular guy in dark shades and a suit who said 'this gift is for the Princess.' 'Valentina's bodyguard,' we both said. I was excited! I opened up the box and there was a box within the box with another handwritten letter by Valentina's daddy:
'Dearest Princess,
Diamonds are precious just like you and Valentina.'
I opened the other box and inside was a brilliant tear-drop diamond ring. I called up Valentina right away and she informed me she too had received one. 'It's daddy's Christmas present to us. He wanted to give it to us on Christmas morning,' she explained, 'but the jeweler had some type of delay.'
At the bottom of the letter Valentina's daddy had written a quote from Brendan Francis Behan, (an Irish poet, novelist and playwright) in an effort that I never give up on being a published writer.
Critics are like eunuchs in a harem: they know how it's done, they've seen it done everyday, but they're unable to do it themselves.
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Valentina's daddy has a village of lawyers who work for him in the US, Europe, Caribbean, Mexico and Latin America. I'm not quite sure how this is going to work since my new lawyer lives in another country but I trust Valentina's daddy. And I'm quite positive that my new Lawyer won't be inviting me to lunch at any hotel.
The story isn't over yet. Valentina's daddy said he would handle Lawyer-Guy. If you are under the assumption that Valentina's daddy handled Lawyer-Guy by simply informing him that I had switched lawyers, you are very wrong. What Valentina's daddy did deserves a standing ovation! There's more, believe me there's more. ROUND 2: Valentina's Daddy vs. Lawyer-Guy coming soon.
XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess
As promised I will now tell you what Lawyer-Guy sent me. Remember the bra and panties I was looking at during Christmas at The Bay? Well that's what he sent me. Kinda creepy that Lawyer-Guy knows my bra and panty size.
