Cocaine Princess here.
Posted beside our doorbell is a sign that reads: "No Soliciting {Including Political and Religious}" so you think that would stop canvassers from ringing our doorbell, right? Sadly the answer is no. When the bell rings I check the security monitor first. Usually it's a pesky salesperson or someone who's spreading news from the Good Book. Depending on my mood I'll either do one of two things: 1} Ignore the doorbell or 2} I'll speak directly though the intercom to flat out say, "Thank you but I'm not interested. Have a nice day." I find option #2 quite amusing because the person on the other~side of the door will always look up to the sky as if the voice of God is talking to them. It's really quite funny. I will however make an exception for the little ones who are selling cookies or chocolates for fundraising purposes.
Monday, I was on my way out to run a couple of errands. When I exited the house through the front door to my surprise standing on the porch was a young guy who by the looks of it was just about to ring the doorbell. He wore a golf style shirt with khakis. In one hand he held a clipboard and in his other he was holding several pamphlets.
GUY: Hi, my name is ___________ and I'm canvassing on behalf of political candidate ___________. How are you this afternoon?
It's currently election season here or as I like to call it "When Politicians Knock On Doors Season." If only I had left 10 minutes earlier I could have avoided all this. As the old saying goes, 'timing is everything.'
ME: I'm fine and kind of in a rush. I have somewhere to be.
I wasn't really in a rush that day but I thought by saying it he would get the hint I was pressed for time. Guess what--- guy with clipboard didn't get the hint.
GUY: Others like myself are pounding the pavement to get the word out and remind people to vote next month. How did you vote in the last election?
The politician he was canvassing for is someone I don't support. Had I told him I was affiliated with another party I knew he would try in his own sneaky way to convince me to come on over to the other side and so to avoid all that I figured if I told him I supported the politician he was working for he would hand me a pamphlet and be on his merry way to bother the other residents on the street. But what happened instead? Stupid me said another candidate's name! It was obvious the connection from my brain to my mouth wasn't functioning properly that day. I immediately realized my mistake and even muttered under my breath, why did I say that? Whether he heard those 5 words I'm not sure but he continued.
GUY: Recent poll results indicate his {the politician I support} popularity is sliding. What are your thoughts?
I'm not going to lie-- my response was a shoulder shrug followed by one little word.
ME: Hmm.
He turned his clipboard towards me and typed in Times Roman Font was a list of items.
GUY: Which do you believe is the most important priority for the government--1 being Most Important and 4 Being Least--- tax and regulatory burden that discourages job creation, affordable education, harnessing safe, affordable energy to power our communities or a strong economy?
Sheesh, talk about a boring question. Now if he had asked me something more interesting like: "Who do you think will be John Galliano's successor now that the House of Dior has sacked him?" or "What do you think about the current fashion trends this season?" I would have been more than happy to strike up a pleasant conversation with him. Hey, I may have even invited him inside and instructed housekeeper to prepare a nice spread of food. I'm in photo~shoot mode so I would have opted for a can of Slim~Fast. Anyways, here's what my response was:
ME: I think they're equally all important. Don't you?
Ha! I thought I'd turn the tables on him by answering his question with a question. Personally I dislike it when someone does that to me {answer my question with a question} but politics was the last thing on my mind so I was hoping by deploying this tactic clipboard guy would simply agree with me and then say "thank you for your time" and be gone! Instead what did he do? Read on.
GUY: I have with me ________.
Yes my lovelies, guy with clipboard didn't just have pamphlets with him but he also had the man he was promoting......live in person!
On cue the politician appeared from around the corner. He strutted his way up the walkway and onto my porch. I couldn't help but wonder what he was doing all the while? Combing his hair? Rehearsing his speech? Freshening up his breath? He extended his hand forward and introduced himself:
POLITICIAN: Good afternoon. My name is __________. Let me tell you what I plan on doing in these parts and what my party would do if they are elected........
Oh dear God, where's a tranquilizer gun when you need one? Come on let's face it, Canadian politics {with the exception of the Québec separatist movement} is about as exciting as watching paint dry. I ask my readers who live across the border a question: When was the last time any political news from up here dominated the front page of your newspaper or when was the last time your favorite prime~time show was interrupted on account of a "Special Report" from the Great White North?
As a general rule and not to mention polite manners when speaking/listening to someone it's said one should look into the persons' eyes, listen carefully to what they're saying and smile at the appropriate place. That's exactly what I did but every couple of seconds I broke eye contact to shift my eyes into the direction of the No Soliciting sign. When that didn't work I decided to purposely lean against the door with my hand pressed up beside the sign. I noticed several times him looking at the sign but the chatty politician continued to babble on and on, which now brings me to the title of this post:
Can Politicians Read?
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Whatever your plans are have a sensational weekend. ~x
XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess
