Summer Long Weekend

Cocaine Princess here.

Finally it's Friday! Today is the official start of summer's first long weekend up here. Going away for a shoot, no where far, and then I'm off for a few days to relax and have fun.

My sister is coming along with me, she doesn't have much of a choice. After the disastrous May 2-4 weekend I told her I would lock her in the trunk if she didn't. I'm just kidding, she's more than happy to join me. Besides, schools are closed until September so there's no excuse for her.

Have a safe and Happy Canada Day everyone. I'll be back soon.

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

Weekly Outing

Cocaine Princess here.

Most of the time my weekends are spent with my sister. We live in the same house but because of our schedule we sometimes don't see each other much. By the time I wake up she's left for work or by the time she gets home I've left. So on the weekends it's when the two of us catch up with the other and talk about what we did during the week etc. Usually we have dinner and I pick the restaurant but this weekend she did. It was one of those casual laid back franchise restaurants. I didn't mind but I told her right away I wanted to sit far away from the bar in case a sporting event was on. As luck would have it the Euro Cup was on. I have no idea who was playing or who won.

We're sitting in a booth waiting for our drinks which took forever to arrive. Lately when I go out to a restaurant I've become somewhat quite critical and paying particular attention to the service ever since I've started watching Hell's Kitchen and Kitchen Nightmares. I have no desire to cook and have no intention to now or ever but I can't stop watching both shows. I sit on the sofa with my eyes glued to the tube. Those who watch the shows know what a screaming lunatic Chef Ramsay is. If one of the chefs does something wrong or if the food doesn't go out in time he'll demand the chef look him straight in the eye so he can degrade and humiliate that chef with obscenities while stripping away their self respect. The chefs take his verbal abuse by responding with 'yes Chef Ramsay. I'm sorry Chef Ramsay. I'll do better next time Chef Ramsay.'

I was keeping time and it took 40 minutes for the appetizers to arrive. 'A' ordered the cheesy nacho platter and I ordered the salad. I'm looking at her platter and the layers of cheese was still bubbling. She broke apart some of the nachos causing the cheese to stretch and then dipped it into the container of sour creme. She caught me looking at her and 'A' said, 'I never should have ordered this, you have that shoot coming up.' 'No it's fine,' I replied. She picked up her napkin and wiped her mouth. 'Then why is your mouth drooling?' she asked. 'Because of my salad, it's so delicious. Yum.' It wasn't yummy at all but everything else on the menu was fattening. I leaned in and took a whiff of the nachos, they smelled so good! 'I'm going to call the waiter and tell him to bring me something else.' 'No don't do that. I'm going to feel bad if you do,' I explained. 'And I'm going to feel bad and guilty eating this in front of you.' 'As long as you feel bad, it's fine,' I said jokingly. My will power is strong. As we're eating my phone rings. 'You changed your ring tone,' said 'A'. 'Yeah I downloaded a new song.' Previously it was Elevator by Flo-rida and Timbaland. Now it's Madonna's Give It 2 Me. It was Valentina. 'That girl has impeccable timing,' 'A' stated. Valentina questioned what I was doing and I told her. 'I know that restaurant, it doesn't have a dress code,' she said. 'No there's no dress code,' I said back. 'Then why are you eating there?' 'You know 'A' and I have our weekly sister outing,' I explained. 'A' knew Valentina was talking about her and just rolled her eyes. 'What did you order?' I informed her I was eating a salad and following that would be a bowl of soup from their calorie wise menu. She then wanted to know what 'A' ordered and I told her. 'You're eating rabbit food and she's shoving nachos down her throat in front of you knowing you have a photo shoot? Tell her she should be ashamed of herself.' 'I already told her something similar.' 'What are you up to?' I then asked. 'Nothing really. I'm at home, daddy's gone out. Did you receive an invitation?' 'To sandbox island? Yeah I received it. Would it kill that woman to host it at the house in Puerto Rico?' 'The house in San Juan is under renovations.' 'Last time we all met for Easter dinner. What is the dinner for this time?' 'I'm not sure. Maybe she misses us all. Are you going?' 'I don't think so,' I replied. 'You're not declining because SB is going to be there? You know daddy prohibited him from communicating with you in any form.' 'Valentina he could move across the street from me and I could care less.' 'I don't think that will ever happen.' 'Is he even invited?' 'I'm guessing he is,' she said back. 'If he knows you're coming he's definitely going to be there.' 'Why would he even care if I go or not?' 'Oh he cares princess, trust me.' I paused for a moment. 'Valentina don't tell me you've been in contact with him?' I questioned. Valentina gasped. 'Of course I haven't. I wouldn't do that to you,' she answered. 'T-120 called me and he said SB still cares for you and regrets what he did.' 'T-120? Why would he have contacted SB?' 'He didn't. SB contacted T-120 after finding out he was back home,' she explained. 'I spoke to him and he didn't mention anything about SB.' 'Why would he? He knows better. But he told me and little does he know that I tell you everything.' At that moment a cloud of gloom came over me as I thought about the mistake I made. 'Why did I even start dating SB? Everyone warned me, don't date him, stay away from that guy. Did I listen? No. Stupid me starts dating him.' 'You can't blame yourself princess and the things that are being said now, daddy knows all about it and set SB's side of the camp straight. It wasn't so much of setting them straight as it was a heavy warning I heard. Just be glad you didn't marry SB, although it would have been one hell of a party princess!' 'That doesn't make me feel better,' I said and then told her I didn't want to talk about him anymore and went back to the subject of the dinner party. 'Why aren't you going?' 'I don't want to go without you. I feel unbalanced going to a party if you're not by my side. I need my best friend.' she explained. 'Of course you need me. You need someone to share your shenanigans with.' 'Beside T-120 have some of the others been calling you?' 'Non stop,' I answered. One of them called and woke 'A' up in the middle of the night asking why I wasn't answering my cell and putting her into a state of panic when she couldn't get a hold of me. I left my phone at home.' 'I read some of their comments. See I'm not the only one who thinks 'A's' been switched at birth.' 'Didn't daddy confirm she wasn't and then told you to stop with your theories that she was?' 'He did but daddy can't stop me from thinking about it,' she replied.

By the time I finished talking to Valentina the main course had come. I was sprinkling black pepper into my soup when 'A' said, 'you know I don't meddle in your personal life, the less I know the better. But I know about you and SB. I'm not saying this because you're my little sister I'm saying it because I mean it. It was such an awful time for all of us especially for you when you began to date him and he took advantage of you being vulnerable. Whatever presently is occurring in your life I don't know but whatever it is I know the fault lies not with you. Anyone who says otherwise isn't your friend.'

I suppose it's human nature to judge a person or have some pre-conceived idea of what type of person they are based on what's being said about them, without first getting to truly know that individual as a human being. The person being talked about may put up a tough appearance but we sometimes forget how some words can wound a person on an emotional level. We're so quick to believe the negative and not the positive. If everyone is saying it, it must be true.

Let's say for arguments sake my sister was switched at birth. I don't care because despite our day and night personalities and lifestyles I love my switched at birth sister to death and would do anything for her, including sitting through an Eagles concert simply because she asked me to come along.

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

Look What The Paper Boy Did!

Cocaine Princess here.

My doorbell rang this evening. I looked to see who it was. It was the paper boy who delivers the town's local paper which is published only twice a week. There's not much news in it other than what went on at the last budget meeting or letters to the editor which are mostly written by the poodle lady. It's filled with more advertisements than news. I open the door and the paper boy says, 'I broke your flowers lady, I'm sorry.' I step outside on the porch and I see the hanging flower basket on the ground. Instead of putting the newspaper in the mailbox, he stood in my garden and threw it hoping it would land on the porch but it hit the flower basket knocking it right off the hook. 'It was an accident,' he pleaded. 'I know and it's okay so don't worry,' I assured him. 'I know your sister. She teaches at the school I go to.' 'I'll make sure to tell her you said hello.' 'Thank you lady. Bye,' he replied taking a deep sigh of relief and left with his wagon full of papers. My paper boy is only 8 years old and skinny like a twig, but he has some right arm!

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

Older Siblings Who Torment

Cocaine Princess here.

I have a couple of photo shoots lined up near the end of the month. I stay fit and healthy year round. I'm not on any diet plan such as Atkins and not even South Beach despite my love for the city and I don't avoid carbs. I watch what I eat but sometimes I'll pop a couple of Doritos in my mouth and sometimes even a spoon full of ice cream. I work out at home. I don't feel comfortable working out in a room full of strangers. I have a gym but I only use the treadmill and the ab cruncher which I bought after seeing it on The Shopping Channel. The other pieces just sit there collecting dust. When it comes near to shoot time I'll call a trainer just for that extra little push.

I had one trainer a few years ago who I hired on recommendation from a friend. He use to be in the army and after he served his tour he became a personal trainer. We would work out 5 days a week at 7am for two hours. One morning my alarm didn't go off, it was about three months into our session. It was 7:10 when he called from outside. I asked my sister who was on her way to work to let him in and inform him I would be with him as soon as I could. After scrambling to get ready, I'm coming down the stairs and who's waiting at the bottom, the trainer with his arms folded. He started yelling at me just like those army movies where the nasty general yells right into a cadets' face at the top of his lungs. Yelling I lacked discipline and focus! I was late for the first time in three months, a little excessive don't you agree? In the movies the cadets' don't flinch or even bat an eye. Me? I wanted to cry, I almost did. After that I was never late again. He was good at his job and whipped me into tip-top shape. I'm just thankful he moved away.

Saturday I met with the photographer and the stylist. As I'm being fitted for the outfit the stylist is telling me she wants to lighten my hair a little for the shoot. I had no problem with that. After she colored it she wanted to cut it. My hair is long and I prefer it that way. I refuse to cut it short. She says to me, 'I'll only cut off an inch and layer it.' So I agree. She chopped off 3 inches. 'You said an inch, you didn't say three!' I said to her. 'Your hair is still long, don't worry. Hair grows faster in the summertime. Your three inches will be back in no time.' Easy for her to say, it wasn't her hair. I kept looking in the mirror and to me it seemed a lot shorter. Meanwhile a few days ago Valentina sends me a picture of her new hair cut. She has very short hair. It was previously styled like Rihanna's hair from her video 'Umbrella.' After she cut it she sort of regretted it and wanted to grow it out. She did and went to the salon to get it styled. Instead she wound up cutting it even shorter after seeing Rihanna's new haircut from her latest video with Maroon 5. 'The hair stylist convinced me every girl was requesting the new Rihanna cut,' stated Valentina. 'It's popular here too,' I replied. 'I want my hair long like yours but I don't have the patience to grow it out,' she complained. 'What about extensions?' I suggested. 'I thought about it but nah,' she said back. 'Daddy says I look cute and adorable. He said the same thing when I had the bob.' 'Because you do look cute and adorable,' I told her. 'I want to look hot.' 'You do look hot but Valentina, no father is going to say or even think his daughter is or looks hot.' 'I guess so. Speaking of daddy we both read about your escapade on the 'S' bus, it was so funny. After reading it I kept on remembering when me, mom and dad and you and your mom would all get-together at the house in Miami.' 'And egg cremes at Wolfie's,' I said remembering. This is why I was a chubby child. I use to go there 3-4 times a day. Back then I had no idea what fat content was. 'I can't reminisce about the past with daddy,' Valentina sadly stated. 'Valentina some wounds never heal completely,' I explained. 'He misses you so much and wants to see you, so do I.' 'I know he called me,' I replied. 'He did, when?' 'He called from his office,' I told her. 'That's why I didn't know.' Whenever Valentina's daddy calls me from home, she's either nearby that I can hear her in the background or nine times out of ten she's on the other end.

I get home and all through the ride I'm thinking about my hair. I pull up in the driveway and get out of the car and once again I was hit in the back of the head with my neighbor's kids Frisbee. I swear to God it's like my head is a magnet or something for that orange kool-aid colored disc. The nanny once again rushes over. 'I'm fine, don't worry about it,' I assured her. Along with the kids was the hideous creature. It was so well behaved and wasn't acting crazy or even barking. It was kneeling and was quiet. But it's still sickening to look at.

When my sister returned home I ran to her and asked if my hair looked short. 'Turn around.' I turned around and said, 'well?! 'No. It looks really nice,' she answered. 'You're just saying that to make me feel better.' 'It's not short, your stylist layered your hair that's why you think it looks short. It's still long, okay.' To convince me she took a couple of pictures of the back of my head.

Sunday was a pretty boring day except for the two massive thunder and hail storms that came passing through. I hope this isn't what Mother Nature has in store for us this summer. I stayed at home and did a couple of things. In the late afternoon I'm watching TV and flipping through the channels and I see a local talk show is on. The topic, 'adults who torment.' I have an older sister and she did plenty of tormenting with me as all older siblings do, at least I hope so otherwise I had a really mean sister. Here are the top three things she did to torment me:

1)
When I was three years she told me a story: my real mommy was a bird and the mommy who was looking after me now, found me in a nest and decided to take me home on a temporary basis because one day my real birdy-mommy would return to take me back. I was half human and half bird. I thought it was true, she whole heartily convinced me. Every time I saw a bird flying above I would panic and think it would swoop down and get me. One day my sister and I are playing outside on the front porch. A red breasted robin lands and sits nearby. It doesn't fly away no matter how many times I tried shoo-ing it. My sister says, 'she could be the one.' I look at the robin and said, 'mommy?' The robin chirped back. 'Adios, it's been nice knowing you and having you around,' she said while waving goodbye to me.' I shrieked so loud mom came running out. I grabbed her leg and remembered saying along the likes of, 'I don't want to go, I don't want to live with my birdy mommy, don't let her take me!' My sister had no choice other than to confess to what she had done. 'Is that why she keeps flapping her arms whenever you two are playing together?' she asked A. 'I thought it was a type of game.' It took a couple of hours for mom to convince me and for me to believe I wasn't half human/half bird.

2)
A few weeks later she came up with a new torment. We're eating lunch when she asked me a question, 'you ever hear about the bogeyman? 'What's that?' I asked back. She explained in detail about a horrible looking monster who lives in the closet and comes out in the dark. 'Does he live in my closet?' I asked. 'Don't worry the bogeyman doesn't live in your closet. His sister does, the bogeylady.' 'No she doesn't,' I replied. 'I'm afraid she does. The bogeylady is way worse and scarier than her brother. So make sure when you go to bed you keep your closet closed and keep your light on.' 'Why?' 'If you don't she'll gobble you up when you're sleeping. Mom said when that happens she's going to give away all your toys and all your pretty clothes. You won't be needing them anymore. And then she's going to turn your bedroom into a second bedroom for me.' 'No, that's not true. My dollies live in my closet,' I replied. 'I'm telling mommy on you.' 'Go ahead. Mommy will just deny it and she'll get mad at me and make me tell you it was all a lie. Come on, we'll ask her together.' Once again I believed her. For the next couple of weeks after mom tucked me in bed I would turn the lights back on. On my night stand was a switch so I could easily turn on and off the lights without getting out of bed. Not only did I sleep with the lights on but to be on the safe side I slept hiding under the covers. One night mom came into my room to check on me. I was awake and all I heard was the door open. I thought it was the closet. I'm hiding under the covers thinking the bogeylady is coming to get me. I start feeling these hands on me and someone trying to pull the covers off. Before I had a chance to scream I saw it was mom. 'I saw your light on, why are you under the covers like that?' Sobbing I told mom about not wanting to be eaten by the bogeylady. My sister was downstairs with her boyfriend watching TV. She dragged her away from him and said, 'why would you tell her such a ridiculous story?' 'It was just a joke,' she replied laughing. 'It's not funny! Stop scarring her and telling her these things.' 'I didn't think she would take it seriously and believe me'. 'She's only three, of course she's going to believe you. Tell her you're sorry now and you made the whole thing up.' 'I'm sorry, there's no bogeylady or bogeyman okay. I made it all up,' she says pinching my cheeks. 'You forgive me?' I nodded yes. Downstairs the doorbell rang. It was the pizza my sister ordered for her and her date. 'Mom can you get that? 'I'll tuck her in.' So mom leaves the room and my sister is fluffing my pillow and I'm feeling relieved there's no monster coming after me. 'Are you comfy? Yes,' I answered. 'I told you mommy would say those things to you, remember?' she asked. She pointed to my closet. 'She's in there. Good night, hope to see you in the morning.' She switched off my light and left the room.

3) When I was five my sister was babysitting me one Friday night. She says, 'how about you and me watch a funny movie tonight? We'll make popcorn and eat pizza.' 'I want pepperoni and extra butter on my popcorn!' I exclaimed.
We're on the sofa eating and the movie begins. 'I know you're going to like this,' she says. The title comes on. 'Can you read that?' she questioned. 'The.... something,' I answered. I didn't know what the word after it was. 'That's a big word,' I said. 'What is it?' She tells me the word and I tried repeating it but I couldn't. So my loving sister broke it into syllables for me: EX-OR-CIST.

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

The God Awful Bus Ride To Bal Harbour PT3

Cocaine Princess here and Happy Friday the 13th.

....Meanwhile the Hare Krishna began chanting even more loudly. 'Hey turn it down!' the driver yelled. He did but not by much. Meanwhile the guy with the sock continued to talk to it as if it was a real person. 'Yes I know it's been awhile but I'm here to further your cause.'

He picked up the shoe he took off and dropped it in the gym bag, stood up and said to his sock, 'time to recruit new followers.' Then he made a bizarre announcement. Holding his sock up high and looking at it he shouted, 'Hitler is here! Hail Hitler! Yes everyone, Hitler has been reborn!' 'Oh my God,' I mumbled. Let me describe this maniac. His hair was greasy and gross, he wore a tattered up t-shirt and dingy jeans. He looked as if he hadn't bathed in weeks. Anyone remember the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre film? The deranged hitchhiker the gang picks up, just picture him. The weirdo approached a young female and began to wave the sock in her face. 'Hitler would like to say hello and wants to recruit you to his cause.' She opened up her textbook and began reading. He stood there for several minutes repeating the same thing over and over again while she continued ignoring him. When she wouldn't say anything he moved away from her and kissed his sock again. 'Don't worry, we will find them, they are here.' I looked at mom and she quietly whispered, 'ignore him.' So while ignoring him the driver was yelling at crazy sock man to sit down while the Hare Krishna continued his chanting and up front more action was taking place. Two teens were sitting across from each another. One was blowing spitballs while the other was breaking off pieces from his bagel and throwing it around. 'Not on my bus!' the driver shouted. 'What kind of bus is this?' I questioned. 'It's a city bus,' mom answered. 'For who? The patients from the psych-hospital?' 'It's only a couple of trouble makers.' 'The guy thinks Hitler's been reincarnated into his sock.' 'Shh,' replied mom. Crazy sock man then approached annoying Hare Krishna man. The Hare Krishna offered him a flower and a blessing and said to him, 'you need to follow God's path of enlightenment. Chant with me.' 'Say hello to Hitler, he wants you to join him. Say hello, say hello!' But he just continued his chanting. It was clear crazy sock man was emotionally disturbed (as was the Hare Krishna). He never did try approaching us. Had he? I'll say this much, you know how a mama bear would do anything to protect her baby cub? Well I was my mom's baby cub as all children are to their mothers. Laughing, holding his sock and with only one shoe on, he ran to the front of the bus, then ran back and sat crossed legged on the floor and was laughing like a hyena as the Hare Krishna began to scatter petals all around him. The bus came to a screeching halt. The driver was fed up. He got up and stomping hard he approached the Hare Krishna and said, 'shut the hell up!' And then to the crazy sock man, 'get up and get off my bus now!!!!' He yelled so loud that all of Miami must have heard. The vein in his forehead was bulging out and his face was red as a tomato. I looked again at everyone and again, no one was surprised. Some continued drinking their coffee or playing with their cell phones while others were looking out the window as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening. Many of you have emailed stating this is perfectly normal behavior. All I have to say is, I'm sorry for you guys to have to go through such horrors! It took three loud yells for the nut job to finally get up and leave. As he did the driver picked the gym bag full of the 'recruits' and tossed it out. The Hare Krishna decided to leave too. 'Wait my friend, let me tell you about my cause!' Wiping his forehead with the back of his hand the driver looked at mom and I. 'Next stop, Bal Harbour ladies.' He went stomping back to his seat and continued driving.

It took a bus ride from hell for me to reach heaven. We're sitting at the bistro and the waiter was trying to take our order but mom couldn't stop laughing. She found the ride amusing. I didn't find anything about it amusing, if anything it was mortifying. 'Do you need a few minutes?' the waiter asked. Mom took her napkin and wiped away the laugh tears and managed to stop. 'May I see your wine list?' she requested. I don't think I need to tell anyone what I ordered, you all should know.

I was still pretty rattled from the ride and mom could tell. 'Have a little sip from my wine,' she suggested. 'No, I'm fine,' I replied. 'No, you're not. It'll calm your nerves.' I picked up her glass and took maybe half a sip and went back to eating when she said, 'I don't think the bus ride back will be as bad as it was coming here.' I put down my fork. 'I'd rather walk back in the heat than take the bus again. Never again in my life, that was my first and last bus ride.' She leaned across the table and took my hand, 'mi amor I'm joking. You think I would put you through that again? We'll call for a car to pick us up.' And we did hours later when we were done shopping. Ah, there's nothing like the combination of chocolate and retail therapy to make me feel better.

Later that same day we had a beautiful dinner at Cacao in Coral Gables. And no, we didn't take the bus.

A few nights later mom and I were taking an evening walk on Lincoln Road. We decided to stop at Nexxt Cafe and have a couple of mango smoothies. It was about 10:30 at night when a group of Hare Krishnas appeared banging their tambourines and chanting something. Mom nearly spit out her smoothie while some tourists quickly grabbed their cameras. I'm not quite sure if the one that was on the bus was part of the group but I'm guessing he was.

Now that I think back, it was an amusing bus ride!

I know I said I would never get on another bus ever again but if it meant I had to take a 100o+ bus rides everyday full of crazy sock mans and Hare Krishnas to be able to see my mom again for even 5minutes, I would get on a bus in a heartbeat.

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

The God Awful Bus Ride To Bal Harbour PT2

Cocaine Princess here.

I hope no one read this yesterday because by accident I published a very rough draft without even knowing and without proof reading it. Also there was a few minor details missing so I had to check my diary to remember.

Over twenty minutes had passed and no bus. Several buses passed but none were the 'S' bus. 'Mom we could have been to Bal Harbour by now,' I said. 'Look, I see another bus coming. If that isn't the 'S' bus we'll go back to the hotel and get a driver,' she promised. Inside I was hoping it wasn't but the bus started to slow down and it was the 'S' bus. I don't think the concierge knew how to tell time because the bus didn't come until after twenty five minutes. The bus driver opened its' door. 'What if the bus is all full and there's no seats left?' I asked. 'We won't know until we step aboard,' she answered while nudging me up the steps......

'Is this bus going to Bal Harbour Mall?' I asked. 'Lemme guess, this is your first time on one of these things?' he asked back. I don't know whatever gave him that impression. Maybe it was the Chanel handbag I was carrying? I nodded yes. 'Don't worry I'll get you there in one piece so have a seat and I'll give you a holler when I get there.' he said. 'Thank you,' I replied. The bus was nearly full with passengers but Mom and I found a seat for two in the middle of the bus. 'Mi amor where on earth do you think the driver is taking us?' mom questioned. 'I don't know, Tampa?' I replied. I began to fidget and asked 'what if we get bus-jacked?' 'Aye-yi-yi mi amor, please relax. We're not on a bus in Beruit. We're on a bus in Miami,' she answered while kissing me on the side of my head.

I'm looking around and observing the other passengers. Many on their way to work holding their thermoses others were drinking coffee, students holding their text books and several grandparents with their grand kids. In the back of the bus was a guy who just kept laughing every couple of minutes really loud.

The bus was making frequent stops, some riders were getting off and others were getting on which really annoyed me. I thought it would be a direct bus ride. One interesting person or I should say character came on board, a Hare Krishna. He made it a point to say hello to everyone by folding his two hands together and offering flower petals from the lei around his neck. Some accepted and some didn't. Those who refused, he placed a petal in their laps. When he came near us Mom politely gestured with her hand for him to just move along, she didn't even let him place a petal on mine or even her laps. The bus driver spoke in an angry and loud tone, 'I told you the last time I've had enough of your flower crap! It's making a mess on my bus!' (the passengers who refused dropped them on the floor) 'I am showing everyone the beauty of nature and its' floral reward.' The driver wasn't in the mood and gave him an ultimatum. 'Sit down or get off!' The Hare Krishna couldn't sit down because he couldn't find a seat. There were a few but the riders had their bags on the seat and they weren't rushing to remove it. So he had no choice but to grab onto, right now I have no idea what it's called. When I checked my diary, I wrote the rope thingy that's on the ceiling of the inside of a bus. With one hand he's holding onto it while with the other he was ringing his little bell and chanting something. Looking at him I made a quiet comment to mom, 'look at his head, it's so shiny and bronzed.' 'He probably spends the donation money at a tanning salon,' she quietly said back. I giggled and bit down on my lip so I wouldn't laugh.

Remember the guy in the back of the bus who kept laughing? He took off his left shoe and sock, I remember it was a burgundy colored sweat sock. He first kissed his sock and then began having a conversation with it. 'How have you been?....Yes I know it's been awhile....' This went on for several minutes. I looked at mom who suggested I ignore him as everyone else was doing. It gave me the impression it must be a normal and daily occurrence on buses or maybe just on the 'S' bus. Meanwhile the Hare Krishna began chanting even more loudly. 'Hey turn it down!' the driver yelled. He did but not by much. Meanwhile the guy with the sock continued to talk to it as if it was a real person. 'Yes I know it's been awhile but I'm here to further your cause.'

To Be Continued......

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

The God Awful Bus Ride To Bal Harbour

Cocaine Princess here.

According to the news it's been 241 days since we hit a humidex on Saturday of +38. Some of you are probably rolling your eyes especially those who live in a year round tropical climate but we are thankful for the muggy weather. We had our first official heat alert advising people to stay indoors. After the winter we faced you think anyone listened? Of course not! But I did, I chose to stay indoors by shopping at the mall making the credit card companies leap for joy each time I made a purchase.

During the evening I was outside enjoying the incredible heat. 'A' decided to have another go at the B-B-Q to make up for the disastrous May 2-4 weekend. And how can I forget? The hideous creature is back home and no longer is it barking at all hours. At first I thought it must have lost its' voice but no, obedience school obviously paid off. Now all that's left is a makeover because it's still incredibly hideous looking. While 'A' was grilling, I was on the phone with Valentina. She asked, 'why is 'A' going to the Eagles concert? Madonna I understand but the Eagles?' 'She's a fan of their music,' I replied. 'Your mom didn't listen to them, did she?' 'Not that I recall,' I answered. 'Maybe she likes their music because her biological mommy and daddy like them,' she stated. I began to laugh while looking at 'A.' 'Is the hurricane talking about me?' A asked while flipping the burgers. 'The hurricane?!' Valentina exclaimed. 'Tell your switched-at-birth-sister I heard that! What is she doing, her sudoku puzzles?' 'We're having a B-B-Q,' I replied. 'Do you ever think about your long lost sister?' 'Valentina I don't have a long lost sister. The only sister I have is here with me now and she's asking whether I want cheddar or mozzarella on my burger,' I said back. 'I know daddy confirmed she wasn't switched at birth but he could be lying. So don't be surprised if in a couple of years a woman comes around claiming to be your real sister.' 'Where is daddy today?' I questioned. 'At home. He's with Gilligan,' she answered. 'And you're not listening in on their meeting? I'm shocked.' I commented. 'They're not really having a meeting and I was listening. Gilligan dropped by to give daddy some papers to sign while talking about the usual stuff, you know.' 'I do,' I said back.

Saturday night I was back in my own bedroom, not that I sleep much but it was a real relief to be able to just close my eyes without the creature's bark driving me up the wall. Usually when I can't sleep I'll get out of bed and start writing or watch some TV but I didn't feel like doing either. Instead I turned on the radio while staring out of the window looking up at all the stars twinkling bright. A song played on the radio I hadn't heard in a long time, Rapture by the group iio. (pronounced eye-oh) Depending on what type of music you listen to, Rapture when it was released was a monstrous world wide dance hit. The year it came out I was in Miami and the song was busting out of every club night after night and during the day stores would be playing it.

Have you ever listened to a song where the lyrics capture and release every single feeling you've been unable to feel before? It doesn't always have to be a song. It could even be a place that makes you feel that way, or it could be the very sight of a person, a picture, something someone says or does, even a particular scent where there are no words because it's more of a feeling, like you're walking into the inside of your heart. And as you are there's that moment where literally your breath is swept away and you feel you're going to collapse because you're just in awe. At some point we've all experienced the feeling and if you haven't, trust me you will. Rapture is my one and only Miami song. The lyrics are absolutely sensual and right to the point. And those who have heard the song let me clear something up now, no I didn't meet or fall in love with someone while the song was playing. I first heard it on the radio and loved it right away.
The year it came out was also the year of my God awful and horrible bus ride to Bal Harbour. Let me tell you all about it.

Miami was my mom's sweet escape. She couldn't get enough of the city and wanted me to love it as much as she did. Mom had a slight accent when she spoke. After living in Canada for so many years it kind of faded. But put her in an environment of Spanish speaking individuals like in Miami where almost every two seconds a Spanish word is heard she'd slip right back into her accent. I especially loved when she'd pronounce Florida as Flor-reeda and Miami, Me-ahmi. Other times she'd speak English and halfway through she'd break into speaking Spanish very rapidly where even I would get dizzy. Because I was home schooled it was easy to get on a plane without having to worry about missing classes or catching up on assignments. We would head to the airport on a Tuesday afternoon and get on a flight to the Sunshine State. Some mornings when I woke I would see our suitcases packed in the foyer and on top of mine would be an orange. It was my mom's cute way of letting me know we were leaving for Miami in a few hours. There was another cute thing she would do to let me know we would be going, which was my favorite. At night time while tucking me in bed, gently with her hand she'd knock over my heart and say,

Mom

'Knock, knock.
Me

Who's there?
Mom

Love is at the door.
Me

Love is at the door, who?

MomMiami's love is at the door, will you let it in?'

I always gave her the same answer. 'I don't get it mommy.' And each time she would always give me the same reply, 'you'll understand when you're older.' Maybe mother's do know everything. I would spend the rest of the night with butterflies in my stomach in excitement because it didn't take long for mom's love of Miami to be passed onto me.

I honestly have lost count the number of times I have been there. Sometimes mom and I would stay in Miami for a few days while other times we would stay longer. The year of the bus ride we had been traveling around extensively. It was right after New Years' and we left for Cartagena and stayed there for three weeks, then hopped on over to Aruba for two weeks and then flew up to Miami where the next five weeks home was a suite at the Loews.

One afternoon we were getting ready to have lunch at the Bistro at Bal Harbour Mall and of course to do some shopping. I was sitting on the edge of the bed putting on my earrings when my mom said something she'd never said before, 'instead of taking a driver today let's take the city bus to Bal Harbour.' 'Okay,' I replied sarcastically. 'No I really mean it. Come on what do you say mi amor?' I studied my mom's face. She always had a good poker face so I thought she was bluffing. She wasn't. 'Why?' I asked. 'Because it might be fun. You've never ridden on one before,' she said back.

I like to think of myself as an open minded individual who'll try anything at least once so I agreed. We spoke to the concierge. He told us where the bus stop was, what bus to take (if I remember I think it was the 'S' bus) and said it was scheduled to arrive within the next ten minutes.

We headed to the bus stop where it was just the two of us. I'm standing there in the scorching Miami sun and blotting my face, I was melting in the heat. 'Mom please let's go back to the hotel and get a driver to take us.' 'Looking at her watch she replied, 'the bus will be here any minute.'

Over twenty minutes had passed and no bus. Several buses passed but none were the 'S' bus. 'Mom we could have been to Bal Harbour by now,' I said. 'Look, I see another bus coming. If that isn't the 'S' bus we'll go back to the hotel and get a driver,' she promised. Inside I was hoping it wasn't but the bus started to slow down and it was the 'S' bus. I don't think the concierge knew how to tell time because the bus didn't come until after twenty five minutes. The bus driver opened its' door. 'What if the bus is all full and there's no seats left?' I asked. 'We won't know until we step aboard,' she answered while nudging me up the steps......

To Be Continued.

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

The Latest Update: The Hideous Creature With Four Legs & The Baby Switch Theory

Cocaine Princess here.

The cleaning lady came over yesterday. Each time she does she'll always bring something sweet like a dozen donuts from Tim Hortons. I lifted the lid a couple of times and saw six double chocolate glazed, two cinnamon-apple filled and four powdered jelly filled ones. I deeply inhaled and decided to sin as some of us sometimes do. I picked the double chocolate glaze and sat out on the patio while the cleaning lady performed her duties. I didn't want to be in the way nor did I want her thinking I was watching her. I was talking to Valentina who was commenting on my last post. (It was actually she who first had the thought 'A' might have been switched at birth) 'I'm still not convinced she's your sister. Somewhere in this world is a girl living an unfulfilled life, feeling so out of place and asking herself, why am I wearing sweats and hoodies when I should be wearing Chanel and Gucci?' 'Maybe not Chanel. I wasn't too impressed with their line this season or last,' I said. 'I asked daddy if there could have been a baby mix-up? He told me to look in one of the family albums. There's a picture of your mom lying in the hospital bed holding a newborn and surrounding them are your grandparents and my mom. Written underneath, Baby 'A' 7 hours old.' 'There's your proof,' I stated. 'That's not proof,' Valentina answered back. 'It's proof she gave birth to my sister.' 'The newborn your mom is holding is your sister but the baby she came home with isn't the one she gave birth too,' she said. I started to laugh. 'Don't laugh,' she remarked. 'Hospitals aren't perfect, they're known to make mistakes. How many times have you read stories or heard on the news about hospitals giving the wrong baby to the wrong mother?' 'It happens but not in my mom's case. She brought home the right baby.' 'How do you explain your total opposite personalities, you two are like night and day?' 'Many siblings have different personalities and interests, it doesn't mean one of them has been switched at birth,' I replied. 'The minute your sister began not enjoying going to parties or traveling or even wearing designer clothes should have been a red flag for your mom to get a DNA test.' Then I heard Valentina's daddy in the background, 'Valentina please stop with your baby switch theory. There was no mix-up.' 'Isn't there even a one percent chance 'A' might have been?' Valentina questioned. 'No.' he replied. 'How can you be so sure?' 'Because she was carefully being watched over in the maternity ward,' he answered..... 'Daddy's blowing you kisses,' she then said. I blew a couple of kisses into the phone. 'She kisses you back daddy'. 'I'm going to the office for a few hours. Will you behave yourself while I'm gone?' I heard him ask her. There was no reply on Valentina's end, not that I'm surprised. I could just picture her devilishly grinning and nodding yes. God definitely broke the mold when he created her. There is no one like her. 'Now does that put an end to your theory?' I asked. 'No. I have another theory,' she answered. This one is hysterical so get ready. One popular summer Valentina's mom and my mom both attended a famous music festival in New York. My sister was a year old and mom had her in a carrier. One of my favorite photos of our moms is where both of them are sitting on the grass waiting for one of the acts to hit the stage, and Valentina's mom is drawing a peace sign with lipstick on my sister's tummy while my mom is flashing the peace sign. Unfortunately there's only one copy of the photo and it sits on a table in Valentina's house. Valentina's mom picked out the frame and then placed the picture inside with her own hands. Valentina doesn't ever want to remove the picture from the frame because her mom's fingerprints are on the photo. She's never said anything but I know, which is why I've never had the heart to ask her to make me a copy. 'Maybe your mom took a little something back then? A lot of the hippies were tripping on acid during those days or eating 'magic' brownies, and if your sister was breast-fed maybe she secreted some of the stuff. Couldn't that be why 'A' is the way she is?' I laughed for several minutes. 'Okay maybe that's a little too far-fetched,' she said also laughing. 'But come on, you guys don't even look anything alike.' There is truth to that. When people realize 'A' and I are sisters they take another long look. 'A' has a very light and pale complexion with brown eyes while I have a tanned complexion and my eyes, well they're not brown. Even so, my sister wasn't switched at birth despite Valentina's theories which have been on going for years and most likely will continue.

Getting to the hideous creature. After I finished talking on the phone two little bodies kept on jumping up and down in the air. My next door neighbours who own the hideous creature bought their children a trampoline. 'Hi...'x'....can...you...come...over?...It's...fun!' one of them said. 'Maybe another time guys, okay?' I replied. I've always wanted to go on a trampoline because it does look like fun but I'm so scared of not coming back down like in those cartoons. After a couple of minutes the nanny came over with the two little boys. 'Did you see us?' one of them asked. 'Yes I did. You were jumping so high. Did you touch any clouds?' 'I did!' the other replied. 'And was it fluffy?' Only one responded by saying yes while the other ones' eyes were fixated on my donut. Pointing at it he asked, 'do you have any more?' 'I saved some just for you and your brother. Would you each like one?' I asked back. The boys looked at their nanny who gave her approval. I took them inside and parked them both at the kitchen table. While they were picking their donut I poured them a glass of milk and asked the cleaning lady who was dusting to watch them. I went back outside where the nanny asked me a question. 'Does our dogs' bark bother you?' Oh dear I thought to myself. 'I hardly hear its' bark.' I answered. Oh God I was lying like the poodle lady. I hope this doesn't mean I'm next in line to be the neighborhood busybody? 'Why?' I asked. 'Over the long weekend we took a day trip to the lake. The next day some of the neighbours came by complaining very badly about the dogs' barking, how it was driving them crazy at all hours. 'Really?' I said. I was feeling so uncomfortable with this conversation. 'So where is the adorable dog? Usually the boys are glued to him.' 'They (the parents) decided to send the dog away to obedience school. The kids became real upset about the dog having to leave so they bought the trampoline to keep them happy and busy,' the nanny explained.

The hideous creature with four legs is in obedience school. All I have to say, it's about damn time.

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

A Birthday, The Eagles And Sonny Crockett

Cocaine Princess here.

On Saturday I celebrated my sister's birthday. I asked her awhile ago what she wanted and the answer I receive is the same one I get ever year, 'nothing really and please don't make a fuss.' I wanted to throw her a big huge bash with all the bells and whistles but she always seems to be dead set against it. But when it comes to her presents I buy at least one over the top gift, I just have too, it's in my nature. Her birthstone is emerald so this year I bought her several pieces of emerald bling which thankfully she loved since she doesn't like wearing a lot of jewelery. On the weekend and when she's lounging around the house she loves wearing really casual clothing, mostly sweats and hoodies. I bought her several Ed Hardy zip up hoodies and hats and a new summer wardrobe from Abercrombie and Finch and Hollister. She loves doing Sudoku puzzles from the newspaper while she's eating breakfast or while in front of the TV. I bought her one in the form of an electronic portable hand held version. Could my sister and I be any more opposites? Valentina one time commented, 'maybe there was a mix up at the hospital and the nurses gave your mom the wrong baby?' I asked my mom about that possibility. She laughed and assured me there was no mix up. 'A' is indeed her biological daughter and my real sister.

For her birthday dinner I took 'A' to a really beautiful restaurant. The weather in the morning started out soggy but then cleared up. We hit a high of +26 so we were able to dine out on the patio. I know I sometimes tend to go on talking about the weather but when you live in a country where 4-5 months out of the year is spent in frigid temperatures and the very second you step outside your ear can crack and fall off or there's so much snow you're stranded in your own house, any sign of warm weather is taken full advantage of. Even if it means wearing shorts, t-shirt and flip flops in +5C. As we were enjoying dinner my sister mentions The Eagles and how they're going on tour and how she wants to go see them. When it comes to giving gifts I pay real close attention to someones' likes and dislikes and I plan well ahead. I'll do whatever it takes to get whatever that person desires whether it's for their birthday, Christmas or some other special occasion. If I had the slightest indication she wanted to see them or that she even liked the Eagles I would have surprised her with tickets but she didn't. I felt so bad on Saturday night that I didn't have a moment's peace until I knew I was able to secure the tickets for her.

The Eagles Long Road Out Of Eden Tour will be doing a concert and the show is sold out. I had no idea they were that popular. Yesterday morning I started combing through the classifieds under LIVE EVENTS and all these people, aka scalpers, were selling tickets. I didn't go through them because the only way they would sell me the tickets is if they showed up at my door or if I met them. Either way they wanted cash. I wasn't about to allow some stranger to come to my house nor was I going to meet a stranger in a seedy location. Instead I contacted a reputable concierge service. The total amount I paid for two of Madonna's Hard Candy Tour concert tickets, I had to pay twice that amount for one Eagle ticket and I had to buy two because my sister wanted me to come along with her. Please don't think I'm complaining because I'm not. I was more than happy to buy the tickets and felt so good afterwards since it put a big smile on her face, I think even more than the bling I bought her.

Afterwards I was on You Tube watching some of the Eagles videos. I don't want to go their concert without being able to sing along to at least a couple of their songs. I only recognized one, Hotel California. Then I realized one of the band members is Don Henley. Of course I thought to myself, The Boys Of Summer which he sang during his solo days. I remember the song and the video, both quite phenomenal. The video was released twenty four years ago and that got me thinking, 'what was I doing in 1984?' Let's see, I remember wearing lace gloves and rosaries and lip syncing to Madonna, covering my bedroom wall with pictures of Simon Le Bon, I once saw the same movie five times, it had a really famous quote, 'wax on, wax off',' I was collecting as many Cabbage Patch Dolls as I could, I was waking up early Saturday mornings to watch the Smurfs and of course Friday nights I was glued to the tube like probably everyone else watching a ground breaking new show, Miami Vice.

Back then my sister was in high school and speaking of Miami Vice, 'A' was dating a Sonny Crockett wannabe. Oh my God this guy was so obsessed with the show. Anytime you would see him he would be dressed in Crockett's trademark wardrobe, linen and pastels and he had the stubble. He mirrored himself after him but there were a few differences: Crockett drove a Ferrari and lived on a boat with his pet alligator Elvis. The wannabe drove his dad's Volvo, had a 11pm curfew and lived in a bungalow with his parents. While she dated him my mom took my sister and her boyfriend and I all out for lunch one day. Miami Vice had been on the air for about six months and I'm not sure how many episodes had aired at that point but the fanatic went through every single episode in detail analyzing and breaking it down scene by scene. Halfway through he got up to go to the salad bar with A. I turned to my mom and said, 'he talks too much mommy.' My mom replied, 'I know but your sister likes him,' and then ordered herself a drink, she developed a headache from his non-stop chatter. There are TV shows fans and then there are TV show fanatics. I don't know what category this guy belonged in. When the two returned, before he even sat down he next started discussing the music from each episode. My mom smiled and nodded and tried changing the subject but she couldn't get a word in, no one could! I just sat there crunching very loud on my croutons so I couldn't hear him speak. According to 'A' his locker was filled with magazine pictures of Sonny Crockett and taped at the bottom corner was a tiny photo of my sister while sitting on his top shelf he had a mini rubber alligator. He wasn't my sister's boyfriend for very long. When mom asked 'A' the cause of the breakup (like she didn't know) she replied, 'he's more in love with Sonny Crockett than me.' I was going through A's yearbook after thinking about him and there's one section of pictures devoted entirely to the prom. The theme was Pretty In Pink in honor of the film. Every girl wore pink and all the guys were dressed like Ducky. (For those of you who have seen the film you know what I'm talking about) and the theme song that night was If You Leave by OMD.

I got a little reminiscent and decided to watch Miami Vice. I have the entire collection on DVD. Last night I went in my mom's room and laid on the bed watching a few episodes from season 1.

Sometimes in the middle of the day I'll go in and lye on my mom's bed to just think about things or to clear my head. There have times where I have felt my mom stroking my hair to even feeling her embrace me from behind while whispering, 'follow the signs to help you find your way.' I'm guessing some of you must be thinking it's just my imagination playing tricks on me or even wishful thinking on my part. Maybe perhaps that's what it is. But you know what? I like to believe it really is my mom.

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess