'Oh This Is Like An Orgy In My Mouth!'

Cocaine Princess here.

Friday morning my laptop shut down after 5 minutes, not again I thought. This problem happened before and I had it fixed. I called up Toshiba and they suggested I bring it in to get it repaired, again. I decided against it and instead decided to buy a new one. I have a desk top that sits in the den but hate sitting there stuck in one place. I prefer the ease of freedom that comes with having a laptop.

Saturday I went into the city and no I didn’t drive. If I receive one more ticket my goose will be cooked. 'A' of course didn’t go with me. The cook was over so I wasn’t that worried about her being alone in the house. I have to tell you something about this cook; she makes the most delicious deep fried mozzarella sticks and pecan butterscotch brownies from scratch. I stay far away as I can from those foods but I confess, the other night I ate one mozzarella stick and half a brownie. If you’re a fan of the animated comedy show Family Guy there’s an episode about baby Stewie developing a love for pancakes. When he eats one for the first time he says in a British accent, 'oh this is like an orgy in my mouth.' Those are the exact words that came to mind when I took a bite out of each.

Once I arrived in the city I went into a popular electronics store. They advertise their employees don't work on commission so the customer needn't worry about being pressured into buying something. It’s true about them not pressuring you but they don't help much either. I saw a laptop I was interested in. Beside each laptop on display was a little information card but I wanted to know a little more. I looked for a sales associate and there was no one around. I headed to another department and explained to the person there I needed help. She immediately had a worker paged.

Wearing the store uniform and a clipboard and pen in hand the sales guy came up to me and asked what I needed help with? I replied I wanted to know more about the laptop I was standing in front of. 'Everything you need to know is right here,' he answered tapping the card with his pen. The cap of his Bic pen was all chewed up. I thanked him for his tremendous help and said I needed a little time to think it over. This of course was a lie. To be honest they didn’t have a lot to select from and even if I did choose to buy the one I wanted, the store only had one left, the display model.

I proceeded next to another popular store. I could have very well gone to China Town which would have meant going in and out of every store, Toshiba, Sony, Fuji, Samsung etc. I didn’t feel like doing that.

At this particular electronic store the sales associates were hungry to feed on customers. When approached by one I made the mistake of telling him I was in need of a laptop ASAP. I could see the $ sign in his eyes. He knew he had secured a guaranteed customer. I told him I wanted to browse first. Little did I know he was going to be creeping slowly behind me watching my every move. It was a little uncomfortable but at least he took the time and effort to describe each one in detail. I decided on the Sony AR Series Notebook. He came back from the stock room with my new laptop and two other items on top of the box. One was a power surge plug and the other a laptop cooling fan stand. Both were necessary items, at least that's what he told me. I said yes. Before he rung the items he began to explain the store's protection agreement plan and said it would be smart if I bought it. I said yes. He wasn't finished. As I pulled out my Amex card he says, 'there's one more thing I want to show you.' I followed him to where the printers were. Can you believe he was now trying to sell me a printer? And yes I bought one. I picked out one with all these fancy functions. I drew the line when he tried selling me a new phone. I bought one last fall and was locked in a 3yr contract. When the new LG Shine in Gold was released in the spring I decided to buy it because well I just wanted it, and had to pay a cancellation fee to get out of the other contract.

Lucky for me the electronic store was connected to the mall. Pure coincidence. I bought some things for 'A.' She’s a junkie for Abercrombie and Finch and Hollister, can't say that I am. And then I did a little shopping for me! I was in the change room at Bebe trying on a sweater when 'A' called asking if my task of finding a laptop had been accomplished. I told her yes and said I would be home within the hour. 'No rush. Stay safe,' she replied. I wanted to catch a movie, Beverly Hills Chihuahua. I saw the posters up at the nearby Cine-Plex. I've seen the trailers and it looks like a funny film but it isn't being released until this Friday.

When I returned home I was excited about my recent purchases. As I was peeling the plastic cover of the laptop 'A' questioned why I bought a new printer? 'Is there something wrong with the one you already have?' 'Kind of. The other printer is white and my new laptop is black. I wanted a matching set,' I answered.

****

I was recently tagged by two bloggers, miss caught up and bambi

Instructions: Copy/paste the meme into your blog, type in your answers and tag four people on your lists! Don't forget to change my answers to your own.


A) Four Of My Favorite Places To Eat:

Ruinas del Mar- request an outdoor table
for dinner
Bal Harbour Bistro

Cafe Demetres

This name of the next restaurant I don't want to
say, it's personal.

B) Four Places I Go Over and Over:

My mom's sweet escape

The city where Valentina lives

The country where my fave restaurant is.

Where the ocean meets the sea


C) Four People Who E-mail me Regularly:

Valentina and a few others.

D) Four Places You'd Rather Be:
Do I really need to answer that one?
Because there's only one place you
know I'd rather be.

E) Four TV Shows I Could Watch Over
And Over:
Corner Gas

My Name is Earl

30 Rock

Chef Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares

F) Four People I Think Will Respond:
I'm suppose to tag four bloggers but I'll
leave that up to you.

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

"55 Secret Street"

Dearest Mom,

"The tears in my eyes I can wipe away
The ache in my heart will always stay"

There is so much I want to tell you and there is so
much I need to ask you but the words are jumbled
up in my head I can't form them into sentences. Isn't
that how it always is though? The things we most feel
deeply about are always the hardest things to say to
someone. You once said with just one look you
knew what I was thinking and feeling. I believe that
to be true so I will trust you know what it is I'm
talking about.

'A' and I will be lighting the candles on your birthday
cake tonight. When we blow them out make your
wish mom.

Keep dropping those signs to help me find my way
because I think I'm close to reaching the destination.

If love could have saved you, you would have
lived forever.

Happy Birthday Mom!

I love you. I miss you. I need you.

Deseo que usted estuviera aquí.

Amor por siempre.

XOXO
Princesa Colombiana
XOXO

5 Words

Cocaine Princess here.

There is a commercial that airs here on the local television stations. A woman dressed in summer attire is smiling and walking down the street. Suddenly she stops, points and lets out a blood curdling scream. Why? Because there is a fallen leaf on the sidewalk, indicating autumn is here. The scene then jumps to a family seated around a dinner table eating. It's a commercial for Kentucky Fried Chicken advertising their Fall Bucket Special.

It's that time of year again, Harvest Time. It officially began Monday and will run until October 12th. The front porch like everyone else in the neighborhood is decorated with pumpkins, gourds, squash, maize and of course a scarecrow. We had to buy a new one this year. The one we had last year was destroyed in a freak thunderstorm. All that remained were his jean overalls and plaid shirt.

Harvest Time this year seems a bit odd. More than often the weather during this month turns cool but it's still so hot and yet the leaves are falling and have already begun to undergo their transformation from a bright summer green color to a burnt orange, yellow and red color. In the city tour companies offer Fall Foliage Tours. Buses filled with eager and paying leaf peepers make trips to the suburbs to participate in oohing and ahhing at the fall colors. For them it's a type of miraculous phenomenon. I really don't see what the big deal is. I don't even like Fall. However when I was little I never missed a chance at jumping into a pile of leaves!

This past weekend was spent at home. I can't remember the last time I was home on a Saturday. Well actually I can but this time I wasn't covered in red, itchy spots. 'A' encouraged and insisted I go out. She said she didn't have a problem with it. I knew if I did I would feel guilty. My sister has her life and does her thing and I have my life and I do my thing and under normal circumstances I would have gone out but it didn't feel right for me to leave her this time.

So what did I do on Saturday? Hang tight bloggers, you may get blown away at the amount of fun I had. The students who came over last week to visit 'A' and left their sticky fingerprints everywhere, (including on the TV remote. Some of the buttons are now sticking) she wrote them each a thank you note. I had the exciting task of putting them into envelopes and I got to address them! Fun, huh?! She could have easily done this herself of course but I was so bored and was looking for something, anything to keep myself busy. I read what she had written.... 'You're thanking them for the desserts? They gobbled up everything in sight that was meant for you including the cake that said Get Well. Did you even get a chance to taste it? I asked. 'I had a slice.' 'You know what you should send along with the note?' 'What?' she asked. A Madonna CD. They need to be listening to her instead of Hannah Montana.' 'The kids like her show and her music. Some of them are crazy for The Jonas Brothers,' she added. As she was finishing up the last card I asked if she was in any pain. 'I'm okay,' she replied. 'That's not what I asked. Just tell me yes or no.' 'I can manage the pain, don't worry about me. In a couple of weeks I'll be back to normal.' 'I've never broken anything except for a nail,' I said sealing the last envelope. 'In your world I'm sure that's just as bad as a broken ankle, she jokingly said back.

Stuffing, addressing and sealing envelopes on a Saturday, it doesn't get any better than that.

Later during the day 'A' found a movie she wanted to watch, SAW IV. I had never seen the film so I had no idea who the characters were except for one, a maniac named Jig-Saw. She tried explaining the storyline and suggested I watch the first 3 parts in order to get a better understanding. I declined. After stuffing envelopes I could barely contain myself and thought watching a horror movie might cause excitement overload.

Not paying attention to the movie I was busy talking to Valentina. For my own personal reasons I can't stand this time of year. It's just an icky and bitter time for me so I go on a vaycay. Last year Valentina and I went to Cartagena and then hit Aruba. This year I was planning on flying down to be with her but won't be able to, at least not yet. That whole 'everything-that-happens-for-a-reason-thing' is taking place, again. My sister's injured and I knew I wouldn't have a moments peace if I had gone. So Valentina came up with an idea. 'A' can join us, there's plenty of room for her here. While we're living it up she can do her suduko,' she said. 'She's never going to say yes,' I replied. 'She doesn't have to. Crush a couple of codeine pills into her meal and while she's off in slumber-land semper-fi will swoop in to snatch her and put her on the next flight out with you,' she explained. 'You want me to drug her so she can be kidnapped?' I asked. 'A' looked at me. 'No worries we're not talking about you,' I whispered. She had an unusual look of doubt on her face but then focused her attention back to the movie. 'You say that like it's a bad thing,' Valentina replied back. 'It's not like she's going to wake up to find herself sold to the highest bidder. Instead she'll awaken to the sound of tranquil ocean waves.' I already have traffic violations on record why not add accessory to kidnapping to the list I thought. 'Just ask her,' she pleaded. 'There's no point. I know the way she is. She's going to say no.' Again 'A' looked at me. I nodded my head to let her know we weren't talking about her. 'Why can't you come? There's people looking after your sister, right?' 'Yeah but she took such good care of me when I was sick,' I replied. 'I would have taken good care of you too. Well I would have hired a nurse but you didn't want to come and stay with daddy and me.' 'That's not true Valentina. It's not that I didn't want to, you knew I couldn't. So, what's daddy up to?' I then questioned. 'He's in his office with Gilligan. That guy's been here everyday and he's so annoying.' 'Annoying how?' 'He's been taking all of daddy's time. I wish he would leave and go!' 'Wow, you're in a mood today,' I commented. 'With good reason. Our travel plans are totally killed.' 'They're not killed they're just on hold.' 'How are you suppose to cope through the next couple of weeks?' "I'll just grin and bear it,' I answered. 'You wouldn't have to if 'A' wasn't hurt. Not only is her injury highly inconvenient but I find it very suspicious your switched at birth sister breaks her foot-,' 'It's her ankle Valentina not her foot that's broken.' 'Whatever part of her body is banged up I find it suspicious it occurred so close to our annual trip.' 'It's not like she did it on purpose.' 'Are you sure it's actually broken?' 'Yes. I picked her up in the emergency room and just last week I took her to see a specialist in the city.' 'Alright,' said 'A'. She picked up the remote that was lying next to her and pressed the pause button. She had to press it hard a couple of times but eventually the movie paused. The pause and FF button along with a couple of numeric buttons are the ones that stick. 'Hang on Valentina,' I said. Looking at 'A' I asked, 'is there something you would like me to get for you? A codeine pill?' 'What is she (Valentina) saying about me?' 'What makes you think she's talking about you?' I asked. I tried saying it with a straight face but couldn't. I told her everything except for the drugging and kidnapping thing. 'You have anything to say in your defense?' I asked. 'Yes, I admit it. I've been scheming this evil plot since January 1st to break my ankle in September just to keep you from going on your trip.' I repeated what she said word for word to Valentina. And Valentina's response consisted of five words, 'I told you so, Princess.'

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

Happy Anniversary To Me

Cocaine Princess here.

Today marks my 1Year anniversary of blogging. Happy Anniversary to me!

In the beginning Valentina was my only reader. I remember her calling me up soon after I posted which she still continues to do. Most of my blogging (except on three different occasions) is done at home curled up on the sofa or in bed. Other times I'll be talking to Valentina while blogging. Usually she wants to know what it is I'm writing about and ask that I read back what I've written so far. I always tell her, 'you'll have to wait until I'm finished,' which never does go over very well with her.

Including this anniversary posting I have published 123 entries. I didn't realize I PASSED (much appreciated my anonymous mate) my 100th post in July.

The most amount of comments I've received was on a post titled Sometimes A Sneeze Is Just A Sneeze. 55 comments in total. (I suppose I could easily break that record if I accepted every comment I receive) If you recall I blogged about how bored I was stuck inside the house being ill and about a TV special I was watching, the Top 30 Countdown of Madonna's best videos. I listed all 30. Many of you either commented on the videos or sent in your favorite Madonna video. On that particular posting a reader sent me a question, 'what is your favorite song off her new album? I answered Devil Wouldn't Recognize You.

Aye-yi-yi. The amount of comments I received from that one song I selected is astounding.
I say 'is' because readers are still continuing to ask me whether or not it is true? For some reason these individuals have gotten it into their minds the song best describes why I broke up with my ex-boyfriend. You have taken it upon yourselves to believe that's what happened. Wow you have quite the imagination to have come to that conclusion. It's just a song and you're reading way too much into it. Remember how I explained sometimes a sneeze is just a sneeze? Well the same can be said about why I like that song. Is it not possible for a person to like something simply because they just do? There are some things in life that have no explanation. Yes the lyrics are quite deep but I don't relate to it on any level. I just like it: the music, the sound of the rain in the background, the choir vocals harmonizing in the middle, the guitar riff at the end. Perhaps it's my fault for not explaining why I selected that song but I didn't think I had to. Trust me you're making something out of nothing. You're looking for something that's not there. In case there are any doubting Thomases' or Thomasinas' still lingering ask yourself this question: do you believe I would permit myself to be treated in such a way? If you answered yes then you've learned not one thing about me over the year.

Two other questions I am regularly asked:

1) Why wasn't my comment published?

Answer: Do I really need to explain that one?

2) Why didn't you answer/publish my question?

Answer: Most of the questions sent I don't
feel comfortable answering/posting or the answers
are too sacred for just anyone to know.

12 months have gone by and during those months I have formed a cozy group of loyal readers.
I sincerely thank each and everyone of my readers for taking time out of their day to drop by to read my blog. Much love to you all. And the ones who leave comments/questions that have absolutely nothing to do with my posts, (you know who you are) you don't get any of my love....well maybe just a teeny bit.

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

Traffic Violations And Now This....

Cocaine Princess here.

I received a letter yesterday from the Ministry Of Transportation:

"If you accumulate an additional 3 demerit points, for a total of 9 points, you maybe required to attend an interview and your license could be suspended. At 15 demerit points your license will be suspended. Demerit points remain in your driving record for 2 years from the date the offence took place. Insurance premiums are higher for drivers with demerit points. Drivers who break the rules of the road are more likely to be involved in accidents. Please drive carefully!"

The next time I hit the road I better be careful!!

****

I was recently tagged by a fellow blogger to do a MEME. 'A MEME is a list of questions that are sent to you by someone else in the blogsphere that you are supposed to answer, and then 'tag' other readers to answer them as well.'

The Rules

List 5 current addictions with details.

List the person who tagged you. The person who tagged me:
lotus07rant.blogspot.com

Type your post with the heading CURRENT ADDICTIONS.

Tag at least two people and pass on the above rules.

I thought to myself, 'this will be a cinch.' I took out my notebook and pen and began to make a list, well I tried. My mind is drawing a complete and total blank and I don't know why. I'm stumped at why I can't think of 5 things. I can't even think of 1 thing! This could take a while but eventually it'll come to me.

On a happy note in exactly one month I will be seeing The Material Girl perform live in concert!!

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

"You Just Won't Be Doing Much Dancing"

Cocaine Princess here.

September and October can often seem like the lull before the storm. Everyone is back to their post-summer routines and what does my sister do? She breaks her ankle during the second week of back to school.

'A' wanted to know why I wanted to take a picture of her cast. 'It's for the memory book,' I replied. 'This is one memory I'd like to forget.' 'I kept copies of my traffic tickets. I plan to post the picture of your broken ankle right on the same page.' After several minutes of groveling she agreed. So I lied. If I had told her I was going to post it on my blog she would have never said yes. I guess it's not really lying. It's more like with-holding the truth.

I'm doing everything I can to make 'A' feel comfortable. She's been sleeping in the guest room on the main floor. It's a lot easier for her instead of going up and down the stairs on her crutches. Our cleaning lady is here everyday and I hired someone else to do the cooking because as you know my loyal readers I don't cook. My definition of cooking is ordering take out or zapping Lean Cuisine meals in the microwave. At first she didn't want me fussing over her. 'You fussed over me when I was sick,' I said. 'That's different, I'm older,' she replied. 'What does that have to do with it?' 'It doesn't seem natural. You're younger than me so you shouldn't have to be looking after me.' I disagree.

Valentina called me Friday morning. 'Daddy wanted you to know if you need anything at all to call him.' 'He called me last night Valentina,' I said back. 'And you didn't ask to speak to me?' 'I would have but he wasn't calling from home. In fact he called 10 minutes after I finished talking to you.' 'I guess there's no chance of you coming down to visit me now is there?' she asked. 'Not until she's better,' I answered.

Friday after 4pm I lost count how many times the doorbell rang. Several of A's students past and present along with their parents or nannies dropped by with Get Well cards (many of them handmade out of construction paper) and desserts from Tim Hortons. One of them brought along their dog, a German Sheppard. I don't allow people in the house wearing shoes so a dog is a definite no-no. It just stayed in the foyer, it was quite well behaved. Some of the kids were disappointed. They were hoping to sign A's cast. She wasn't fit with a molded cast instead as you can see in the picture she has an air cast. Two of her students were fascinated by Nemo and kept tapping his bowl and asked if they could feed him. I explained Nemo already ate but they kept on insisting he needed to be fed because he looked hungry. 'How can you tell he's hungry?' I curiously asked. 'I speak fish,' one of them replied. 'And he's saying feed me, feed me.' ' 'Well this is truly an honor for me. I've never met anyone who spoke fish before,' I said. 'How long have you been speaking fish?' 'All my life,' he replied. A few others complained they didn't like their substitute teacher. When 'A' asked why they didn't like her they replied, 'cause she's mean and 'cause she's old.'

Two little cute girls grabbed a hold of the TV remote and kept changing the channels while saying, 'where is she? Where is she?' 'What show are you little girlies looking for?' I asked. 'The best show in the world, Hannah Montana!' one exclaimed and then proceeded to inform me Hannah Montana was her favorite singer and was even planning on dressing up like her for Halloween. The other girl was interested in knowing who my favorite singer is. I told her who else? Madonna. 'Who?' she replied. 'You've never heard of Madonna?' I asked. She thought about it for a minute, scratched her head and replied, 'does she come on the Disney Channel?' I told them what channel their favorite show was on and when the theme song started the two girls began to sing along.

One little boy I recognized. He attended A's Easter Party and told me he was Vegas bound to gamble. When I asked whether or not he knew what gambling is, he didn't know. I decided to ask him again. 'So playboy talk to me, did you do any gambling in Sin City? (whoops!) I mean Vegas?' I asked. 'Only my daddy did. 'You know what gambling is?' 'I asked mommy and she said it means daddy wasting money. Our hotel was so cool. I had so much fun there.' 'Really, wow. Aren't you a lucky boy to have gone to Vegas. Do you remember the name of your hotel?' 'Yeah, the big triangle,' he replied. I believe he was referring to The Luxor.

By the time everyone had left all the yummy desserts had vanished and there were sticky, little fingerprints all over the walls, the remote and around Nemo's bowl.

More than often my Saturdays are spent in the city for a little of me time. Shopping and at times meeting up with some of my friends in the entertainment district. This past Saturday I was in the city but not doing what I usually do. Instead I practically spent the entire morning at the hospital in the Fracture Clinic Ward with 'A.' She had an appointment with one of the specialists. Because it was the weekend we didn't have to leave early to avoid the rush hour. The hospital was located right in the core of the city, to be more specific two blocks from China Town. Yeah that China Town.

The registration line up was long but moving quickly with four administration people working very efficiently checking patients in. One of the workers was a woman who had an incredibly loud voice. The loud kind of voice that's annoying and shrilly. She would repeat everything back to the patient, their name, address age etc. while typing the information in the computer. One patient said, 'could you turn it down a notch please?' I don't think she heard because she continued talking as if she was talking into a megaphone. Everywhere I looked someone had a cast on some part of their body, even a few kids. (My heart sank looking at them, so little, helpless and fragile.) No one was in a good mood. You could practically see the pain and agony on their faces. Who could blame them?

A's appointment was scheduled for 10am. We didn't get called in until 10:45. A nurse took us into the examination room and said, 'the doctor will be with you in a minute.' While waiting I received a text from Valentina. 'You're not allowed to use cell phones in here,' stated A. 'The door is closed and besides I don't see any signs in here that say I can't,' I said back. 'What's she saying?' 'You're actually taking an interest?' I asked. 'I'm bored, tired and sore,' she replied. I gave her the phone and she read the message:

4got 2 ask. Did u move daddy's orchids and toss away BL's?

'What does that mean? Who's BL?' she asked. Bug Lady,' I replied with a giggle. 'A' had a very confused look on her face and said, 'what?' I was in the process of explaining Bug Lady when she said, 'you know what? I don't want to know. Your choice of friends baffle me.' 'You know what baffles me? Those two little girls who came over yesterday, the Hannah Montana fanatics. One of them asked who my favorite singer is. When I said Madonna she had no idea who that was,' I said back. 'She's only 6 years old.' 'So that's not an excuse. When I was around their age I was well aware of Madonna.' 'Because you had me as an older sister,' she replied. 'Don't any of them have older brothers or sisters?' 'A lot of them are still an only child and the ones that do there's isn't a significant age gap, only 1 or two years maybe.'

Remember how the nurse said, 'the doctor will be with you in a minute?' A minute is 60 seconds. But in doctor time a minute translates into 35minutes because that's how long it took for the doctor to come in. There was a digital clock on the wall and I was keeping time. The first thing I noticed were his shoes. He wore navy blue colored Crocs with green argyle socks and light blue colored scrubs. His white lab coat had some sort of stain near the top.

Doc-Croc removed A's cast, examined her ankle and said it would be fully healed in 6-8 weeks. You know how sometimes you think out loud? Well that's what I did and said, 'that means you'll be on crutches at the concert.' 'What concert?' asked the doctor. 'We're going to see Madonna next month,' replied A. 'You have tickets for her show?' My sister nodded yes. 'I don't see any problem with you going. You just won't be doing much dancing,' he commented.

After my event filled day at the hospital I wanted to do some shopping but I knew A wasn't going to be in the mood to be hobbling around the mall on crutches so we decided to do lunch. To avoid any type of disagreement I let her choose the place. And by now I don't have to tell you what type of establishment we dined in.

I almost forgot to tell you what the best part of the day was. I made it to and from the city without being pulled over by the police! I was being a good, little driver by paying attention to the speed limit and all the traffic signs. Hurray for me!

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

Oh Snap! (And I Don't Mean Snap, Crackle and Pop!)

Cocaine Princess here.

Each time a nurse came out of the ER she would say 'family of XXXX.' I'm waiting on pins and needles for the nurse to say my sister's name and finally one of the nurses that came out said her name.

I get up and walk towards her. The nurse was dressed in teal colored scrubs with yellow duckies all over and was holding a metal clipboard. She had such an emotionless look on her face, like she never smiled a day in her life. I honestly felt as if I was going to collapse. If worse came to worse and I did collapse upon hearing devastating news at least I was in the right place, a hospital. 'You're Miss XXXX next of kin?' she asked. 'Yes,' I replied. 'You're the sister, and your name is?' I told her my name. 'Right this way, follow me.' I followed her going inside the ER filled with doctors and nurses busy doing what they do best. 'Your sister is straight down that hall in cubicle 7,' informed the nurse. 'Thank you,' I said back. I'm walking even slower now and looking at the numbers. 1.....2.....3. I get to cubicle #6 and then #7. I stood outside several minutes holding my breath trying to work the nerve to go inside. My mind was saying walk, walk but my legs wouldn't move until I heard a voice say, 'how long are you going to stand there?' It was A and she was talking. If she was talking it means she's alert and if she's alert, she's conscious! I get inside and she's lying in the hospital bed with a cast on her ankle. I didn't ask any questions first. Instead I gave her a big, big, big hug. 'I was waiting for that,' she said and then asked, 'are you okay?' 'Never mind about me, are you okay? What happened?' 'I broke my ankle,' she answered. 'I can see that. How did you break it?' 'I lost my balance and tripped.' 'What were you doing to make you lose your balance?' I questioned. 'It was recess and all the kids were in the gym because of the rain and I was monitoring my class. It just happened.' 'But why did they transfer you here?' 'I needed a CAT Scan. When I tripped I hit my head.' I went to hug her again and this time I cradled her head in my arms. 'Is your head okay, do they need to keep you here overnight?' 'No, no, I'm fine,' she said back. 'So you can go home, you're clear?' 'The nurse is working on the discharge papers and my prescription is being filled at the pharmacy. As soon as I get those things you can take me home.' I had another question for her. 'How did you know it was me standing outside?' 'By the click-clack sound of your stilettos. Everyone else is wearing running shoes,' she replied.

Remember how I had to pay in coins to get into the parking lot? The same applied to get out. The change I had dumped was still all over the passenger side seat. No toonies and loonies, just quarters and dimes. There were 4 cars ahead of me. The first car, a woman stepped out and knocked on the window of the car behind her. The individual inside rolled down his window and a couple of seconds later handed her something. I'm presuming change in the amount of $3.00. While waiting my turn I took a deep, deep sigh of relief. I was so happy A's injuries weren't life threatening. It's only a broken ankle and like all things in life that break, with a little time it heals and is new again.

I pull up into the front of the hospital and my sister is in a wheelchair with a nurse holding an umbrella over her and an orderly holding a pair of crutches. I popped open the trunk and let the orderly know he could place the crutches in there and then he and the nurse helped A into the car. And the first thing A said, 'why is there change all over the seat?'

On the car ride home A and I were talking and she asked, 'were you scared when you got the call?' 'No I found it amusing. I was laughing throughout the entire ordeal. I was scared straight out of my mind. You know I don't like hospitals.' 'I know you don't,' she said back. 'All they had to say to me was, your sister broke her ankle and is in the ER. Instead this nurse calls and tells me I need to get to the ER asap. I get down there and they have no record of you because they had already transferred you to the other hospital for some test. 'You went to the local hospital first, why?' A asked. 'Because that's where I was told you were but you weren't,' I answered. I then said there was no point in discussing that ordeal anymore. I had located her and everything was fine. She was fine and that's the only thing that really mattered.

We're almost home, when I mean almost I mean two minutes away when I hear a police siren. 'Oh snap!' I said loudly because I knew what I had done. I looked in the rear view mirror and the police lights are flashing and once again I pull over. 'You weren't speeding,' A stated. 'I ran the stop sign,' I said. Another ticket. $110.00

Ten minutes later, I finally get my sister home. As I'm helping her into the house I'm thinking, the prison guard has now become the patient and the patient has become the prison guard. I shall use my powers for evil. Just kidding. The past couple of days she's been a model patient.

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

I published several of the comments on my last post and there were also several (aside from the usual batch) that I didn't. Good God I seem to have angered readers for leaving a cliff hanger and they wanted to know why I did. There's a simple explanation. My blog, my post, so there!!
I'll post a pic of A's ankle in the cast as soon as I can. I've been trying to take a picture but she's not allowing me to. Yesterday morning she was on the sofa and I slowly crept up behind her with the camera all ready. 'You're not taking a picture,' she said. 'What do you have eyes in the back of your head?' I asked. 'Yes. It's something given to all who become parents and/or teachers,' she replied.

Don't worry she's been prescribed codeine to deal with the pain. As soon as she's hopped up on it or while she's sleeping I'll sneak in a quick shot. My camera is never out of reach. Kiss, Kiss.-x

A Toonie and Two Loonies

Cocaine Princess here.

Friday started off like any other normal weekday for me. I was finally in my regular routine of things and it felt good being back on track.

Last Tuesday I received in the mail my Duran Duran DVD of their live in-studio performance on A&E's Private Sessions. I was waiting for the perfect day to watch it, in other words without any interruptions. Friday mid afternoon seemed like the perfect day. The DVD was in the player and loading. I retrieved my salad from the fridge and got comfy on the sofa. I would have rather retrieved the piece of chocolate cake that was one shelf below but I won't be eating food like that for a long, long time. I did however take a deep whiff off it. It had a minty aroma. I was about to press play when I noticed the salad looked a little bland. I thought if it looked bland it would probably taste bland too. I don't usually put any type of dressing on salad. I went back into the kitchen and sprinkled a couple of Goldfish crackers on top and went back into the family room, picked up the remote and hit play.

I was in the middle of watching the band perform Skin Divers. I wasn't paying so much attention to the song, I was paying more attention to Simon LeBon when the phone rang. I hit pause and answered it. 'Hello,' I said. A woman was on the other end and asked to speak to me.' 'This is she,' I replied. 'Who am I speaking too?' I then asked. 'I'm calling from XXXX Memorial Hospital. You're listed as the next of kin and emergency contact of Ms. XXXX.' At that exact moment my heart leaped into my throat. 'Oh God what's happened to my sister?' I asked. 'She's been admitted to the ER. You need to come right away.' I don't remember if I even hung up the phone. I raced upstairs, threw on a pair of capris, a tank top and then grabbed my purse and left.

The hospital is located on the other side of town. I arrived and headed straight to the ER reception area. There was a woman wearing a blue vest and stitched in embroidery, Volunteer With A Heart. She was sitting behind a desk at a computer. I said to her, 'I just got a call my sister's been admitted to the ER. Her name is XXXX.' She checked the computer and replied, 'there's no one here by that name. Are you sure the call came from this hospital?' 'Unless there's another hospital in town by the same name, yes!' I answered. I had her recheck the computer again, nothing. 'Do you know who it was who called you?' she asked. 'No, shouldn't you know that?' I asked back. 'No dear I'm afraid I wouldn't know.' 'How can you not know? You work here. Who's the person who usually makes the call?' 'It most always is the attending ER Nurse,' she answered. 'Can you go find and ask her please?' The volunteer left her desk to go find the nurse. While waiting I could actually feel and hear my heart beating a 1000 bpm. I'm thinking is someone playing a vicious prank on me? If they are they're not going to be living for very long because I'm going to kill them! The woman finally returned and said, 'your sister was here but they transferred her to XXXX Hospital to run some tests.' 'If they transferred her then why did the nurse tell me to come here?' I asked. I immediately left right after asking the question, I wasn't about to waste any more time standing around waiting for an answer.

It was about a twenty minute drive to the other hospital but it took a little longer to get there on account of the weather. It was so crappy and nasty on Friday. I don't know if it was Tropical Storm or Hurricane Ike, Tina, Hannah or whatever it's called but we were definitely feeling its' effects. According to the weather report we weren't suppose to get any rain until Sunday but the stupid storm came early. I pull up into the Visitor Parking Area and there was a gate. To get it to open and park you needed to pay the machine $3.00. On it was a sticker that read, 'Accepts No Dollar Bills. Coins Only.' I couldn't park on the street, it was prohibited. I unzipped my purse and pulled out my coin wallet and dumped all the change on the front seat. Among the scattered coins was a toonie and two loonies.

I rushed into the ER and the receptionist checked the computer and told me the doctor was still tending to 'A'. When I asked what happened to her she said she didn't know and I would just have to wait for the doctor, and suggested I have a seat. Just wait for the doctor and have a seat, easy for her to say! The waiting room was packed. I managed to find a seat beside a poor guy who had an ice pack over his eye. Next came the waiting game.

Trying not to lose my mind with worry, I kept staring at the clock on the wall and then stared at the two large doors that led to the actual ER room thinking what are they doing to A? What's wrong? What happened to her? All these horrible images were running through my mind. I wasn't doing it on purpose, the images kept popping in my head and wouldn't stop. And on top of all that the death of my mom kept replaying in my head. Not that the circumstances were similar or anything but there were a few things that were a reminder of that awful day. I just kept thinking to myself, I can't go through this twice. Once was enough but twice is too much for anyone to handle.

Each time a nurse came out of the ER she would say 'family of XXXX.' I'm waiting on pins and needles for the nurse to say my sister's name and finally one of the nurses that came out said her name.

To be Continued.

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

The White Party

Cocaine Princess here.

Valentina called me yesterday afternoon. The two of us decided to go through the White Party invitations together. She and I are both on the same invite list. The best ones already took place during my unfortunate days of confinement. When she called I wasn't paying much attention. She was talking but I just kept on using words like yeah, really, mmm-hmm etc. She took notice. 'Are you there or not?' she asked. 'Yes I'm here. I'm sorry I'm just a little distracted,' I explained. 'With what?' 'TV, I'm watching a movie.' 'Let me guess..' 'No not that one,' I said. '30 Days Of Night.' 'I saw that one. The vampires aren't so scary as is the weather. Can you imagine living with all that yucky snow, cold and darkness?' Sometimes I think Valentina forgets where I live.
'Unless there's a freakish shift in the weather, come mid October to March it'll be nothing but cold and snow with the sun setting by 5:30,' I replied. 'Still hot up there isn't it?' 'High 30s' all week.' 'It's been hot here too but a little soggy. So....where is she?' 'Who?' I asked. 'That other person who lives with you,' she answered. 'I'm assume you're referring to A?' 'Yeah her. Now that she's no longer your prison guard what has she been up to?' 'She's at work, it's back to school,' I replied. There was a huge sigh of relief from Valentina. 'That's why I've been hearing church bells. It's September, Hallelujah! Thank God! I was so worried for you.' 'Worried, why?' 'Because I was afraid with her being constantly around you during the holidays her personality and attitude would rub off on you,' she said back. 'If I haven't changed after all these years do you really think I will now?' I asked. 'What if she slips you something?' Valentina questioned. 'Like what, some personality-altering drug? I hang around her and she hasn't changed. My personality and attitude hasn't rubbed off on her.' 'I suppose,' she mumbled. One thing that can be said about Valentina, she has a hard time letting things go, in particular her theory about A being switched at birth. 'I still don't believe she's your biological sister.' 'Not this....' I was about to say not this again but she cut me off mid sentence. 'Just say the word and I'll do a little snooping around daddy's office.' 'And what on earth do you think you'll find there?' I questioned. 'Something that will prove she's not related to you,' she answered. 'I have a new theory about A. It came to me a few days ago.' I put down the receiver and counted to 20 and then put the phone back to my ear hoping she would be finished. She was still rambling on about something. I counted to 50 and she was still talking. It wasn't until I hit the high 100s she was finished and ended with these words, one day my theory will be proven right.' 'Then I give you permission now to say 'I told you so.' Even though I had no idea what her latest theory was. 'If you want to prove me wrong just have her take a DNA test.' 'I can't ask her to do that,' I stated. 'When she's sleeping swab the inside of her mouth and send it to a lab.' I laughed for a couple of seconds and said, 'this isn't CSI '. 'Alright fine if you don't want to listen to me you don't have to. But just know the person you believe is your sister is really a stranger.' 'And I've bonded quite well with the stranger Valentina,' I said. 'Now let's get back to the invitations.'

We divided them all into three separate piles according to attire.

1) Casual White

2) Dressy White

3) White Tie & Diamonds

Had I RSVP'ed yes to all the invitations, my calendar would have been fully booked from July to September. 'The Casual White you know what to do with those. We toss'em,' Valentina and I said at the same time. Those parties are such a drag in more ways than one. The Dressy White parties, the ones I have attended in the past haven't been all that bad. My absolute favorite if you haven't already guessed it, White Tie & Diamonds. It's non stop party action with so much glitz and glamor. There were five in total. The dates of the party were spaced out quite well. There was a problem awhile back when two people held their annual White Party on the same day. Both refused to change their dates saying it was impossible for either of them to reschedule. (Who said the wealthy don't have problems? The parties were a complete flop. No one hardly showed because no one wanted to take sides. Now all the party planners get together and negotiate on the dates. Everyone seems to want mid July or Labor Day long weekend)
One invite was in the Hampton's. I attended one there two summers ago, it wasn't really my scene. Among the five invitations was a very familiar name. 'Oh God. Bug Spray's Annual White Tie & Diamonds Party,' groaned Valentina. (I refer to her as The Host because in the circle she is the grand dame of throwing and hosting parties and soirées. In case you forgot Valentina calls her Bug Spray because of the scent of the perfume she always and only wears is similar to insect repellent. Who am I kidding? It's not similar. It's smells exactly like a can of Raid) 'I called her up and said I was sorry but would not be able to attend. She first thought the reason was perhaps whose-name-shall-not-be-mentioned was going to be there. The Host assured me he wasn't invited. I told her the real reason.' 'What did she say then?' 'She felt bad I was sick and sent me a beautiful arrangement of orchids and some other things,' I answered. 'Where did you place her orchids?' Valentina curiously asked. 'On the table in the foyer.' 'Why aren't the ones daddy sent you in the foyer?' 'Because the ones daddy sent me are in my bedroom,' I said. The other Princess was not pleased. 'Move Bug Spray's orchids into some other room in the house and put daddy's orchids in her place.' 'Valentina the poor woman has a name,' I stated. 'Yeah I know Bug Spray. Just please move them,' she said. I couldn't understand what difference it made where I kept the flowers. After she pleaded a couple of times with me I told her I would.....But I have yet to move them. Bug Spray's, err, I mean The Host, the orchids she sent are an incredible mixture of colors matching perfectly with the decor.

Awhile back The Host held her annual white party in Palm Beach. I love Palm Beach, how can I not? Insane shopping on Worth Avenue and at The Esplanade, the spectacular spa at The Breakers Hotel. ....

As much as I love Palm Beach at the same time it is a bizarre little town. When I say bizarre I mean in a twilight zone kind of way.

To be Continued....

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

Labor Day: My First Speeding Ticket

Cocaine Princess here.

Labor Day, the final sign summer is coming to an end. It's still quite hot up here, high 30s. Is it too much to ask Mother Nature to let the weather remain this way until January?

For the past couple of days 'A' had been setting up her classroom and getting things ready. Tomorrow is the first day of school and this year she has 31 new students to teach and mold.

This past Saturday she had a conference in the city. I told her I would drive her there. While she would be at her conference I of course would be at the mall. 'A' insisted I not drive. 'It's long weekend and everybody is going to be on the road driving like maniacs.' 'They'll be all heading to cottage country to close up. We'll be nowhere near there,' I replied. 'Just call up the driver,' she said. 'There's no need to. It's a short drive and besides I feel like it,' I answered back.

I'm driving along and everything is fine when a police officer holding a radar on the side of the road signals me to pull over. 'Uh-oh' I stated. 'It's probably just a random spot check,' my sister said. I knew it wasn't. Why would he be holding a radar? The officer took his time walking over. He peaked his head in and asked, 'do you know you were doing 80km in a 60km zone?' 'No,' I replied. I really didn't. He showed me the radar and the screen said 80. 'Is there any reason you're in a hurry?' 'I didn't know I was driving that fast,' I said back. 'May I see your license and registration?' I do as he says and hand him the items. He then says, 'hang tight,' and as slow as he was approaching me that's how slow he was going back to the patrol car. Seated in the passenger seat was his partner who I swear to God kept yawning. Several cars drove by and some were driving way past the speed limit. 'Why doesn't the officer tell his partner to step out with the radar and check for more speeders? Or is he that tired and can't get out of the car?' I asked. 'When he's finished writing up your ticket you can ask him,' 'A' answered. 'I ask him that question and the next thing that comes out of his mouth, 'step out of the car mamn and place both hands on the hood.' 'It's long weekend and he has a quota to fill.' 'If he wanted he could fill next month's quota too if his partner would check the speed of the other drivers. Look how fast some cars are going.'

I'm sitting and waiting patiently when both officers began to laugh at something. 'What are they doing telling each other jokes? Just give me the ticket and let us be on our way,' I said. The officer finally stepped out of the car. Good grief it was like watching him walk towards the car in slow motion. I received a $95.00 fine. My very first speeding ticket.

Maybe I should have listened to my sister.

Anyways, my loyal and dear readers have a wonderful, safe and happy Labor Day.

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess