It Doesn't Taste Like Chicken

Cocaine Princess here.

I’ve been away for the past week on a shoot so I'm sorry for the slow blogging. I wasn’t any place exotic and by exotic I mean I wasn’t any place where you would find swaying palm trees giving off a cool tropical breeze, warm sand and crystal clear water because if I was believe me I would be still there lingering for a few more days. I was in a large city, very picturesque and full of history but more importantly they had great fashion boutiques. I had traveled there in the past a few times before but never had I gone this time of year.

When I’m on a shoot I don’t have a lot of free time to myself. Sometimes the shoots are early which means an early bedtime and other times the shoots can last all day especially if you’re stuck with a photographer with an attitude. Trust me; the photographers are the true prima donnas in the fashion world....right after the models of course.

Thursday morning my shoot had been completed and I was scheduled to fly back home that same night. I had a few hours to myself and I wasn’t in any particular mood to go out. The weather had turned chilly and damp. Well I sort of did go out. I popped into one or two, okay it was a total of six different stores. Shopping is always on the top of my 'to do list' whenever I'm visiting another city. I can't help it. There's like this invisible magnetic pull that draws me to go inside a store. I bought a killer pair of red colored heels and since I bought the shoes I figured it only made sense to buy a new outfit to wear with it. I also purchased a few other things for my sister.

I had been working out like crazy for the past couple of weeks preparing for the shoot and since it was over I came to the conclusion I deserved a little treat (Buying the shoes and outfit didn't count) and by treat I mean eating a meal without experiencing an enormous guilt trip. I could have very well dined in one of the restaurants. The city was filled with so many top notch restaurants, bistros and pretty cafes and bakeries that suited my liking but I decided to eat back at the hotel and order room service.

Back in my suite I picked up the brown suede cloth-like binder from the night stand and opened it up to the lunch menu. Glancing through the array of items I tried to decide which savoury dish I would like best. I came across something I had never tasted before, roasted goose. I thought who knows, maybe I'll like it or maybe I won’t. But how will I know if I don’t try, right? I deliberated for a few minutes before calling in the order. The kitchen recommended a glass of Pinot Noir with my meal. I declined. It was the middle of the afternoon and if I had drank it I would have missed my flight from having to lie-down and fall asleep. Instead I asked if they had any Dr. Pepper, I had a bad craving for one. They didn’t but said they would be more than happy to accommodate my request.

It was 3 in the afternoon and I was in bed with my succulent meal in front of me. The goose was smothered in a very rich and thick blanket of butter and herb sauce and came accompanied with a side of wild rice and vegetables. The steam from the rice could still be seen rising and the plate was still very hot. I leaned in and drew in the aroma. Mmmmm. I picked up my fork and poked the goose a couple of times with it. I began eating the rice first while staring at the goose. The television was on but I wasn't paying attention, my eyes were glued on the bird. I kept picturing China Town where every other store front window you see gleaming and lacquered geese hanging by their pencil necks on a butchers twine from a hook overhead. After finishing the rice I proceeded to eat the vegetables next very slowly one by one and if you guessed I was stalling, I was. I was hoping the goose would go cold therefore giving me a rational excuse of not to eat it. But the juicy goosey was still edible and it was the only piece of food remaining on the plate after I finished off the veggies. God knows I tried but every time I picked up the fork I would put it back down and Valentina was no help either. I had her on speaker phone and we were talking back and forth catching up on things. I never should have told her what I was having for lunch. She purposely kept on saying 'honk, honk, honk.' I threatened to hang up if she didn't stop.

'Just eat the damn thing and get it over with. What's the big friggin' deal?!' she asked.

She had a point. What was the big friggin' deal? I eat chicken, beef and pork. I have a closet full of animal skinned shoes, handbags and coats but something just didn't feel right about eating a goose. Maybe the reason is because you never see goose on a menu at a fast food restaurant. When was the last time you heard a person utter,

I'd like to order the 10 piece Goose McNuggets with large fries and a Coke.

Or

I'd like to order the McGoose Burger with extra mayo and pickles.

Or

Mom what are we having for dinner tonight?

A bucket of goose from Kentucky Fried Goose, dear.

Or how about,

You're in the kitchen making a bowl of homemade goose noodle soup for someone who is feeling under the weather.

Doesn't sound very appealing.
I decided to toughen up and be fearless. Just as I was about to put a piece in my mouth Valentina said,

'Stop!'

I froze my hand in mid air.

'What?!' I asked.

'Put down the fork,' she instructed.

'Why?'

'Just do it.'

So I did.

'Now check the tag that's attached to the duvet.'

'What for?'

'Just please do it.'

Getting out of bed I put the tray back on the trolley cart and hunted for the tag. I figured it would have to be near the foot of the bed and it was.

'Alright I've located it,’ I told her.'

'Now read it out loud.'

'100% goose down,' I replied.

'The feathers that were plucked from that goose could very well be related to the goose you're about to consume.’

'This call is officially over Valentina. Good bye.'

After ending the call I giggled. It was funny which made the task of finishing my meal only that much harder. I'm a person who dislikes the taste of turkey so I don't know what came over me when I ordered goose. Finally a piece bravely made its' way into my mouth while Valentina’s words kept resonating in my head. I was chewing with my eyes closed and don't ask me why but I just did. Chewing was one accomplishment, swallowing would be another and it was a good few minutes before I did.

So the verdict?

You know sometimes people will tell you 'it tastes just like chicken' especially if it’s something you’ve never tasted before? Well goose isn’t one of them according to my taste buds. I won't be eating it anytime soon. In all probability never.

I arrived back home Thursday night after 11pm. Thursday nights as you all know I always watch Chef Ramsay. ‘A’ DVR'ed it for me. I was excited and made plans to watch it Sunday morning while eating my traditional Sunday breakie and before I forget, much thanks to the anonymous someone who sent me an email on Friday in black bold extra large font letters with the names of the chefs kicked off and spoiling the episode for me!

Anonymous someone; would it have troubled you to put HELL’S KITCHEN SPOILER in the subject line? I decided to watch it anyways early yesterday morning. At least I thank you anonymous someone for not telling me Lacey was sent home packing in the same manner as Jay.
Last season I was able to narrow it down to 4 contestants who I thought would run Hell’s Kitchen and one of them turned out to be the winner. This year I can’t get a read on any of the contestants.

I hardly ever post on a Monday. On Fridays I always wish you a fun filled weekend but I couldn't because I didn't blog and my schedule was totally off. Bottom line, I feel awful for not. I hope your weekend was everything you wanted it to be and more.

Today is Monday so I don't think you would like it if I said Hooray it's Monday! Yeah I know it doesn't have quite the same effect as saying Hooray it's Friday! Mondays don't necessarily have to be bad. You never know what exciting and new possibilities maybe waiting for you this week.

My loyal and dear readers it's Monday.

I hope your week is roaring and victorious.-x

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

First Day Of Spring

Cocaine Princess here.

Today is the first day of spring.

Can you believe this past week we reached double digit temperatures of +14C? HOORAY! It’s not exactly bikini or showing off your pretty pedicured toes in stiletto weather but it still calls for a HOORAY! The birds have finally emerged chirping, the sun is setting at 7:30 and not 4:30, all definite signs indicating the warm weather is approaching. There is even a shift in peoples attitudes. Up here the meteorological conditions have a way of playing with people’s moods. We go through 4-5 months of winter and most people are cheerful during the month of December; the rush and excitement of the Yuletide season, the colorful blinking lights wrapped around trees and the ones covered by snow, you can still see the lights glowing from underneath. The best is the lighted panther statue that sits high on top of the Cartier store. After January 1st everyone begins feeling fed up. Have you ever gone to one of those all you can eat buffet restaurants and you fill your belly to the point where the mere sight of food makes you feel sick? Up here this is how we feel about snow after the New Year arrives. No one wants it around anymore. A simple trip to the mall calls for dressing like you’re trekking to the Himalayas. The only downside to warm weather? Road closures and road construction.

Last night my ultimate and favorite reality show was on and if you don’t know what it is then you haven’t been following my blog, have you?

THE CHALLENGE

The theme last night was tapas style cooking. Chef Ramsay brought samples from his restaurant for the contestants to taste. The challenge for both teams was to create five different tapas out of a tray of left overs and had 20 minutes to prepare. Because the teams were uneven Ramsay sent Giovanni over to the red team.

Danny and Paula.
The winner? Chef Hot Head was so impressed by both he declared them both winners.

Lacey and LA.
Lacey didn’t cook her leftovers long enough and LA, well her meal looked and tasted like it came out of the bottom of the dishwasher. No winners.

Carol and Robert
Carol couldn’t remember whether she used Soy sauce or Balsamic Vinegar. Robert won the challenge.

Andrea and Jay
Gordon again was impressed with two dishes he couldn't
decide so both the red and blue team won.

The tie breaker would be either Ben or Giovanni.
The winner, Giovanni.

The red team was rewarded with a day at the Hollywood Race Track while the losing team had the fun of setting and prepping both kitchens. Lacey spent the entire time complaining she wasn’t being treated like an equal. She broke down and confessed she wasn’t going to compromise her health and happiness for $250,000.

DINNER SERVICE

This is only my second season of watching Hell’s Kitchen but it was the most explosive dinner service episode I have seen.

IT'S ALWAYS THE RISOTTO

Every week there is some type of problem in the kitchen and it always begins with the risotto. Jay’s was mushy and lumpy and that was the least of his problems. Carol from the red team was in charge of the appetizers. Her pasta was so raw Chef Ramsay forced her and Andrea to take their raw appetizers into the dining room and ordered them loudly to eat what they had cooked. The two admitted the meal was grossly undercooked.

Jay from the blue team lost his edge and competed so poorly Gordon not only shouted at him to get out of the kitchen but shocked every contestant by telling Jay to hang up his jacket and go home.
Ben’s beef wellington was prepared in a dirty pan so Ramsay had no choice but to kick him to one side so he could straighten him out Ramsay style. After screaming the usual obscenities and stripping him down emotionally he ended his rant by calling Ben a dirty pig.

THE CHOPPING BLOCK

The worst team of the night was no surprise the blue team. Only 4 people remained and each had to choose a person they felt should leave Hell’s Kitchen. All picked Lacey except for Lacey. She picked Ben.

Gordon was surprised Ben didn’t choose himself because of his poor performance and asked why he didn’t nominate himself?

Ben and Lacey were on the chopping block and both presented their reasons why they should stay.

Who hung up their jackets? No one. Both contestants were spared. The reason? Chef Ramsay decided it was best to give them a second chance because he felt Jay held their kitchen back.
Another piece of proof Chef Ramsay is a little bit of a softee. I still think he acts like a maniac.

My loyal and dear readers it’s finally Friday which calls for a 3rd HOORAY!

Whatever your plans are have a phenomenal time this 1st weekend of spring. -x

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

Pot Of Gold

Cocaine Princess here.

Today is St.Patrick's Day. It's not really a day I celebrate on a grand scale like some of the others but I do like getting into the spirit of things by wearing at least one item of clothing that is green and even my toe nails are painted a color called Margarita Green.

There's a bowl full of mint flavored M&Ms and a box of key lime flavored truffles near me. I know it doesn't exactly scream Irish but they are green so I think it should count for something. Okay the real reason for the chocolates, every now and then I need to satisfy my sweet tooth and it's been so long since I have.

My loyal and dear readers today may you find your pot of gold in some way shape or form.

Happy St. Patrick's Day.

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

Friday The 13th Part 2

Cocaine Princess here.

Happy Friday the 13th. Our second one of 2009.

Last Friday the 13th my sister and I attended the midnight screening of the remake of ‘Friday the 13th.’ At midnight we attended another screening and it was another remake, ‘The Last House On The Left.’ We bought our tickets a few weeks back. I wasn’t in the mood to go. I was even hoping she would forget all about it. For the past couple of nights I had been feeling wiped out and going to bed by 9:30. I wanted to say no not just because I was worn out but because of the scavenger hunt for furniture ‘A’ forced me to take part in on the weekend. But I had promised her I would go see it and I always keep a promise.

We arrived at 11 and the place was packed again, the only difference no one was in hockey masks. First we decided to have dinner from NY Fries. Two hot dogs, jumbo fries and two jumbo cokes. Afterward we bought popcorn and I had my packet of jube jubes.

I’ve never seen the original (after seeing the remake I have no intention to). It was done by Wes Craven in 1972. I was however aware of the storyline. If you think the plot is disturbing wait until you see the film. Many scenes were so graphic and brutal I had to shut my eyes. I was ready to walk out and sneak into one of the other films. Judging from the audience reaction it received a good reception.

Hell’s Kitchen

The theme of last night’s episode was a Bar Mitzvah in honor of a boy named Max. The first Bar Mitzvah ever to be held in Hell’s Kitchen. His three favorite foods were hamburgers, brisket, and chicken soup. The challenge, to prepare fine dining versions of each. Both teams were going to be working with fresh ingredients and had 45 minutes. Sampling the foods was Max’s mama and his grandma but ultimately it would be his decision. First up was Andrea and Giovanni’s chicken soup. Max choose the blue (men’s) team. Next came the brisket and the ladies won the taste test. The tie breaker would be the hamburger prepared by Robert and Carol. Carol’s hamburger was a mash up of veal and lamb and she added blue cheese to the mix even though her teammates advised her not to. She should have listened because Max favored Robert’s burger.
The blue team's reward was a day at the spa. The red team's punishment, to transform Hell’s Kitchen into a sports arena since the theme of Max’s party was all about basketball. While the ladies were busy, Max’s mama hired a party planner, an individual by the name of Francisco. J.P. was not the least bit happy when he saw him, in fact he told Francisco to stay away from him and not to interfere with his work.

Compared to previous episodes dinner service was quite successful but there were problems.
Ramsay wouldn’t allow Andrea’s mushroom risotto to go out because it didn’t contain any mushrooms. Lacey's beef was too cold , Jay prepared two salads forgetting one of them was ordered without any dressing. Koi from the red team kept having problems with her hamburgers. They were stone cold. Ramsay was getting fed up because he wasn’t letting any food go out until the guest of honor was served and he ordered the hamburgers! All the guests were enjoying themselves. Part of the dining room had been transformed into a basketball court so the kids were busy just having fun. I don’t think they even noticed Max's birthday cake falling to the floor. As a surprise for Max, Ramsay invited The Harlem Globetrotters.

Even though both teams did well Chef Ramsay still picked a losing team, the ladies. According to him they lacked determination but he was impressed by Andrea’s ability to function throughout the night. She nominated LA and Koi to be put on the chopping block. Koi suggested that Andrea be on the chopping block because she felt her performance was the worst. Ramsay disagreed and told Koi to hang up her jacket. The reason: ‘she couldn’t even cook a bloody burger.’

Once again it’s been another long and very exhausting week for me and daylight savings time has only made things worse. It just seems like it’s taken forever for F-R-I-D-A-Y to arrive but at last it’s here!

I’m hoping to sleep through the entire weekend but that seems highly unlikely.

My loyal and dear readers whatever it is you have planned, have a smashing weekend. -x

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

...."Now Please Pass The Pepper"

Cocaine Princess here.

This past weekend my sister and I went furniture shopping. We had our house custom built but left the basement unfinished until we decided two years ago to complete it. We just never got around to furnish it. There's a wet bar and a potted palm tree in the corner and that’s about it.

As you all know by now I love to shop so you would think I had a great time, right? Not so much the case. ‘A’ was with me and whenever the two of us shop especially when it comes time to purchase something we both need to agree on such as furniture for the house, it's not a fun experience and the reason isn’t just because we don’t see eye to eye on things.

When I’m shopping by myself and if I see something I like and my inside tells me it’s the right choice, I listen because the heart always knows. My sister on the other hand prefers to shop and compare even if whatever she is looking for is staring her right in the face.

Saturday we drove to the design district area of the city. We browsed around the first two home decor stores and there was nothing that really suited our taste that is until we arrived at the third store. You ever have that moment when you see something and you instantly get that feeling ‘this is right?’ That’s the feeling I got. The store carried everything we needed and the items were simply perfect. By some miracle 'A' agreed.

‘Where’s the salesperson?’ I asked.

‘Don’t go flagging anyone down yet,’ said A. ‘We still have a couple of more stores to look at.’

I groaned.

‘Why? Everything we like is right here.’

‘There maybe something else better and than you’ll be thanking me,’ my sister replied.

‘I doubt it.’

‘How can you be so sure of that?’

‘I just do. I’m telling you this is it.’

‘If there’s nothing else we like I promise we’ll come back here and place the order,’ she stated practically pushing me out of the store.

All the stores were in close proximity so we walked.....and.....shopped.....and.....compared.....only to return back to the third store because there was nothing else we liked. So I was right!

Afterward we made the decision to have dinner in the city and when I say we I really mean me. This time I selected the restaurant.

In the middle of enjoying a delicious meal I made a comment to ‘A’ how almost half the day was wasted because she refused to listen to me. I asked,

‘Now who’s the one who doesn’t listen?’

‘You still hold the record darling, now please pass the pepper,’ she replied.

The one good thing that did come from ‘shopping and comparing,’ there was a mammoth pet store in the area. I bought another goldfish. A companion for Nemo.

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

Dear Wylie E.Coyote

Cocaine Princess here.

This past Sunday a jogger in my neighborhood spotted a coyote and called animal control. Where I live the houses back onto a forest while the other houses are kind of in and around all the trees. Residing in the forest are deer but they’ve never made their way into the neighborhood. During the summer it’s not uncommon for harmless critters of the forest to find their way into your garden. Last year I saw a fluffy bunny in our yard and as soon as I stepped out onto the patio it scampered back into the bushes. I left it a carrot and went back in. Watching from the window and after several minutes the bunny came out of hiding and hopped over to the vegetable. My sister warned me not to leave anymore food out. Did I listen? Of course not. Maybe I should have because a couple of days later the bunny decided to invite two playmates. A coyote had never been heard of in our region but recently in the city a coyote was seen in a neighborhood that backed onto a ravine. It jumped over a 4 foot fence and killed a Chihuahua. The jogger put in a call to animal control and they did a thorough sweep, no coyote. Everyone was given a description of the animal and we were all warned to exercise caution. No one took it seriously until Tuesday it was spotted again this time by another resident on her way to work. Animal control did another check and either this coyote had an amazing hiding spot or some type of invisibility cloak because it could not be found anywhere. Later that same day a group of mischievous teens put up a sign that read,

"Dear Wylie E. Coyote
The road runner lives at ********"

The address they provided belonged to poodle lady. Yeah, poodle lady didn’t find it amusing. She hardly finds anything amusing.

Wednesday March 4th

After receiving so many calls from residents claiming they saw the coyote here, there, everywhere animal control remained close by in hopes to catch it and oh boy they did.

Wednesday evening a call came in from a woman who spotted the savage beast nestled under a tree.

Only it wasn’t a coyote. It was a damn dog! Animal control contacted the jogger and asked if this was the 'coyote' he had spotted. He said yes. The coyote turned out to be a scruffy lost German Shepherd who no one still has claimed. The first question to come out of my mouth, ‘how do you confuse a coyote with a German Shepherd?’ I received my answer when I saw the front page of the newspaper. They published a photo of the dog and beside it was another photo of an actual coyote. They were many similarities and so to be fair I guess it is possible to mix up the two.

The thought of a wild animal loose in a residential neighborhood created mass hysteria thanks to animal control who stuffed these frigging leaflets into people’s mailboxes that had the following things listed:

1.
Coyotes have been known to drag toddlers away and may see them as prey.

2.
Coyotes love to chase joggers and cyclists and have disregard for humans.

(The past couple of days it was like a ghost town. No one was jogging or power walking, no quick sprints to Tim Hortons and no children were playing outside)

3.
Do not approach or pet a coyote.

(Seriously who in their right mind would?)

Here’s something I didn’t know.

4.
If you ever encounter a coyote:
-throw stones
-yell loudly while waving arms
-aim water aggressively from a hose.

Now that the vicious and scary ‘coyote’ has been seized the neighborhood is back to normal.

So what was on last night? Only my preferred reality show, Hell’s Kitchen!

The theme this week, Asian fusion. Ramsay took all the contestants to an Asian Market. Each team had to select ingredients and create an Asian fused dish made from meat, fish and poultry and had 25 minutes to purchase the ingredients and could spend only $100.00. Back in the kitchen they were partnered up and had only 1 hour to prepare all 3 meals. Chef Ramsay would be tasting and judging the dishes along side an editor in chef from a food magazine website. The winning dish would be featured on the website. Jay and Giovanni prepared a dish but Jay couldn’t remember what the dish was called. Giovanni stepped in and gave the name. Tasting it both chefs agreed the rice was undercooked. The women won this week’s challenge and were rewarded with a lesson in martial arts and then were taken to a bar where they took delight in doing sake shots. The blue team’s punishment was to make fortune cookies and decorate the entire restaurant with origami decorations.

14 minutes into dinner service and no entrees had the left the kitchen. Food was going out late and entrees were being returned because they weren’t cooked properly. Contestant chef Jay completely forgot to make his order, the red team made almost everyone of their meals impossible to eat and to top it off, a group of sumo wrestlers arrived and each ordered one of everything on the menu. While both teams were trying to get it together contestant chef Robert kept ignoring Ramsay each time he called him ‘Bobby.’ Ramsay approached him and demanded he look him in the eye. When he wouldn’t the Brit kicked him out of the kitchen and wanted to know what his problem was. Robert replied he wanted to discuss the matter in private at a later time.

The kitchen was in utter mayhem. According to chef hot head it was possibly perhaps the worst dinner service to date so he shut it down!! Like last week there was no winning team but he did take notice in Giovanni and LA’s good performance. They were told to nominate one member from their team. While the two decided Gordon called Robert in his office where Robert explained the reason for him not responding to the name ‘Bobby.’ After he explained Ramsay not only apologized but shook Robert’s hand promising he would never call him ‘Bobby.’ Further proof the ill tempered chef has a heart.

LA chose Andrea and Giovanni chose Jay and each pleaded their case why they should stay another week.

So who hung up their jacket?

No one.

Instead Ramsay instructed Colleen to step forward and she was told to hang up her jacket. His reason, she couldn’t cook but he admired her tenaciousness.

11 contestants remain.

Have you ever had one of those weeks where you're burning the candle at both ends? Well I have. It's been a long and exhausting week so I'm very happy to say hurray it’s finally Friday!!

My loyal and dear readers have a twinkling weekend.-x

XOXOXOXO
Cocaine Princess