"Zero. Zilch. Nil. Nada."

Cocaine Princess here.

This past week I decided to take a mental vay-cay. So for the entire whole week I was in relax-o mode and did absolutely nothing. I just hung around the house hugging the couch pillows watching T.V. I spent one afternoon watching the entire Prom Night movie collection. All I can say is the 2008 remake is soooo much better than all of the 4 Prom Night films combined. Another day I watched Seasons 1 through 4 of BBC's "One Foot In The Grave" on DVD. I love British comedies. If anyone is a fan of this show I ask you, how can you not love grouchy pensioner Victor Meldrew? Regardless of how you go about it we all need to take a mental break to give our brains and bodies a chance to unwind and recharge their batteries.

I may have fibbed a little in the above paragraph. I did go out. I went shopping. If I don't make at least one trip to the mall (or 2) during the week I become fidgety and anxious. My sister accompanied me one day where we decided to take in a movie. We agreed on the ORPHAN and I am proud to say "we" didn't mean "me." It was a mutual decision.

It was the matinee show and there were 20 other people with us (I silently counted) so finding a seat was a cinch. This particular movie-plex sold DIET DR.PEPPER! I was seated pretty comfortably, my tasty drink was in the cup holder and in my laps a bag of jube jubes. "A" on the other hand had a Cinnabon. Oh did I mention this particular movie-plex had a Cinnabon stand inside? If you've ever walked by one you know how incredibly strong and intense the aroma is. It has the power to make you weak in the knees. In the lobby after we bought our tickets I took a couple of deep inhales and I think during the 3rd one (which by the way was the longest) my sister gave me one of her famous head shakes, then sighed and said, "why do you do this to yourself? If you want it, buy it and eat it." I nodded my head no. "Eating one won't make you break the scale." I gave her another nod no. "Suit yourself. I'm going to have one," she stated and headed over to the stand. I went into the opposite direction, to the candy concession stand. Waiting my turn I glanced at all the movies posters and 2 caught my eye.

Since late June all over the city I've been noticing this poster plastered on the side of buildings.


I didn't think too much of it. I thought it was a joke of some sort. It turns out it's all a publicity stunt for Peter Jackson's upcoming film, DISTRICT 9. The other movie poster I took an interest in, HALLOWEEN 2. Another Halloween remake by Rob Zombie that I am looking forward to see. I'm a fan of Mr. Zombie's films and I think he's a good director. His music, I'm not so much of a fan. Well....I do like his one video/song with his ex-band White Zombie, "I'm Your Boogieman." It's cool in a freaky and bizarre kind of way, and awesome to air at a Halloween party.

Waiting for the movie to start I was quietly answering the movie trivia questions on the screen when I looked over at "A." She was carving a piece of her cinnabon with a fork and knife. I noticed the pecans piled high on top of the creme cheese. She ordered a Caramel Pecanbon. If I didn't know any better I would say she ordered the pecan version on purpose knowing how much I love pecans.

"Do you know how much fat is in that thing?" I asked her.

Silence are her part. So I decided to enlighten her.

"56 grams of fat."

Still silent. I figured she couldn't hear me over her crunching on the pecans so I repeated myself.

"56 grams of fat. Do you know how many grams of fat are in my Jube-Jubes?

Again silence. Again, I decided to enlighten her. Waving the bag in her face I said,

"Zero. Zilch. Nil. Nada."

Her silence was finally broken by this reply.

"That's alright darling. I'm not worried about the fat, remember I'm not the one who gets their pictures taken."

She went back to chowing down on her fatal but yummy treat as I tried to think of a snappy comeback. I kept drawing a blank so when I couldn't think of anything to say I pinched her cheek.

"Darling did doing that make you feel better?" she questioned.

Without any hesitation I replied,

"Yes it did."

After what seemed like an endless amount of movie trailers, ads and a 30 second spot on movie etiquette (which apparently went ignored considering the number of times someones cell phone went off) the movie began.

The plot outline:

A couple named Kate and John (no, not that Kate and John) are devastated after losing their unborn child. They decide to adopt a 9 year old Russian girl named Esther from an orphanage. They are unaware Esther is keeping a secret. Soon after she is adopted and brought home strange things begin to happen in the family.

The big hype surrounding the film was this question, "What is Esther's secret? What is Esther's secret?"

I'm taking a sip from my drink when a certain moment occurs in the film and I got thinking, "Hmm, could this be Esther's secret?" And I was right! But what I was not expecting was the story connected to her secret. Oh good grief! It deserves to be said a second time. Oh good grief! A guy sitting nearby made this comment, "What the hell were the writers smoking?" Trust me, that question deserves an answer. Another overheard comment, "What the hell kind of messed up sh*t is this?" And the most common overheard comment was 3 lovely itty bitty words, "WTF?" I've seen quite a number of films with far out story lines but this movie is in a category by itself. But at the same time it was very creepy.

I won't spoil it for those who haven't seen the film but I wonder if such a thing could happen in real life to a couple who adopts?!....Nah!

******

My loyal and dear readers it's finally Friday!

It's our long weekend up here, Civic Holiday which also means it's CARIBANA! The entire city is in a 'krazy' tropical island vibe mode.

Whatever your plans are have a festive weekend.-x

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

P.S. This Mother Goose and Grimm cartoon appeared in the Saturday comics. I found it funny.

"Home Of The World's Largest Buffet"

Cocaine Princess here.

Sorry for the slow blogging and for just the one post this week. It's been a chaotic 4 days and he's a rundown of all the things I did so fasten your seat belt.

*MONDAY*

One of our shrubs in our front yard needed replacing. I sat on the porch watching the gardener plant it. I had a difficult time keeping my excitement under control.


It's been 4 days since it was planted and yes I know it's sad and thin looking. Each time I look at it I can't help but think of "A Charlie Brown Christmas." All that is missing is Linus's blue scarf. With a little sunshine and a whole lotta Miracle Grow it'll be big and strong in no time.

*TUESDAY*

Me and "A" made a shopping trip into the city. It was mid afternoon-ish and we were in the GUESS store. I was looking at a pretty dress when all of a sudden I was attacked by a hunger craving. My food cravings come at the most peculiar times. Most of the time if not always I am good at fighting them off but on that day I couldn't. Out of nowhere I desperately yearned for orange chicken. We decided to break for lunch and head on over to China Town. Long time followers of my blog should know by now when I say “we” I really mean “me.” My sister wanted something else. "Tough break," I said. "My cravings have taken total control of me."

The particular restaurant we were in had a huge plaque in the lobby and inscribed was:

"Home Of The World's Largest Buffet"

This is the 4th Chinese restaurant in the city that has claimed to have the world’s largest buffet that I have dined in. Situated nearby was a scenic indoor waterfall and a shark tank with a baby shark swimming around. It was interesting watching how many adults ignored the "DO NOT TAP ON GLASS" sign.

Inside was an enormous cafeteria style room where all the food was. It may have very well been the world's largest buffet but it wasn't in terms of food choices. I noticed the choices kept repeating over and over after a certain point. Another thing I noticed that I’ve never seen at a Chinese buffet was pizza by the slice. Had there been one with pineapples I would have scooped up a slice. I selected my orange chicken, fried rice, 2 chicken balls and an egg roll. For dessert, a small scoop of chocolate ice cream and a tiny sliver of black forest cake. Okay, okay it was a huge heap of a slice. Just call me Princess Piggy. And I’m not ashamed to admit I used a fork. I have yet to learn how to use chopsticks. Hmm, maybe that will be on my list for my 2010 New Year’s Resolutions- Master the art of using chopsticks.

No Chinese meal is complete without a fortune cookie. Here is what my fortune revealed:

“Dreams become delusions if abandoned by hard work.”

As we were leaving the restaurant I saw a cutesy item in one of the store windows that I just had to buy and added it to the rest of my little collection.



China Town is the only place I can find PEANUTS merchandise sold year round. Hallmark sells them on a seasonal basis, Christmas and St. Valentine's Day. Attached is a card that says "Happiness Is Goin' Places" and written inside:


There is a string in the back and when you place Snoopy on a flat surface and pull on it he goes zooming across the floor.

Going into the store I figured it was a little gift shop because also in the window were little knick knacks of sorts. Boy was I ever off! I enter inside and they were also selling pig snouts and feet, lotto tickets and ice cream.

I’ve shopped in loads of different stores around the world but the store I had made the purchase in was without a doubt one kind of store I have never shopped in.

*WEDNESDAY*

Last week our garage door opener was acting up. It would open halfway, make a funny whirring sound and then close. My sister called up Sears Home Care since they are the ones who installed it. The earliest they could send a repairman was Wednesday. The morning before I received a call from someone at Sears Home Central informing me the repairman would be there somewhere between the hours of 8:30am-3:30pm. (Don't you love it when they are so specific?) By some strange coincidence “A” was not going to be home during the given time frame. The reason? Teachers conference. The following conversation occurred the night before on the patio while she stood over the BBQ grilling burgers. I was comfortably stretched out on the lawn chair.

Me: A teacher’s conference in July? I thought teachers have the summers off.

A: We do but there’s plenty we still need to do to prepare for the new school year. It’s not too far off you know.

Me: Wonderful. My whole entire day is shot until he arrives.

A: It’s not the whole entire day it’s only until 3:30. And you never know he may show right at 8:30.

I scoffed at the thought of that because I knew there was no way he’d show up that early. They never do. There are certain things that we have certain people take care of for us and then there are the minor things that my sister tends to and I was hoping she would be the one to deal with this matter. The reason? I wasn’t in the mood and couldn’t be bothered.

Me: What am I suppose to do when he shows up?

A: How about you invite him in and show him your new fall shoe collection.....What do you think darling? she asked laughing.

Me: That’s not what I meant and stop teasing me. How many times do I have to tell you I don’t like it when you do that to me.

A: Only kidding darling. Just tell him what’s wrong and he’ll have a solution. It’s not that big of a deal so what’s the problem?

Me: I don’t feel like doing it or waiting around all day.

A: At least you’re honest. I was expecting to hear an excuse like you have an appointment at the nail salon that’s a matter of life or death.

Me: I already paid a visit last week.

I thought to myself, 'damn why didn’t I wait until this week to get a manicure?'

A: Don’t go anywhere tomorrow at least not until after he leaves.

Me: Now you're putting me under house arrest?

Ignoring my question she opened up the bag of hamburger buns and asked,

A: Would you like your bun toasted or not toasted?

Me: Toasted please.

*WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON*

I was in the middle of watching The Jerry Springer Show. Topic: Hillbilly Wedding Bonanza Special when garage door repair man showed up. Time 1:30pm. I had a hunch it would be in the afternoon. And no I didn’t invite him in to show him my fall shoe collection although they are really cute. I told him the problem.

After testing it and doing a full inspection he said, “the thingamajiggy that’s connected to the dohickey that controls the whatchamacallit is worn out. I can replace it but it’s going to last you 3-4 months tops and then you’ll be having the same problem again. My suggestion, you’re better off in the long run getting a new one.”

He had already dismantled the main unit and when he opened it up and showed me the inside of it he went on a technical rampage of words. My sister called and I told her what he had said minus the technical words-“he said we need a new unit.” “Let me talk to him,” she requested. I passed the phone over to him and he gave her the same speech he gave to me and after he was finished talking there was a brief pause and the phone was returned to me. My sister gave him the go ahead to install a new one.

*THURSDAY*

I decided to go for an outdoor run. Lacing up my runners my sister asked if I could swing by the area’s Tim Horton’s and bring her back an Iced Cappuccino (sold only this time of year) and a dozen TimBits.You can always tell where there is a Tim’s by the number of drive through cars spilling onto the street causing traffic problems. Inside was just as worse as outside, there was a human traffic jam.
Most almost everybody was ordering some type of coffee. I wrote once before, I guess I need to enjoy the taste of coffee in order for me to comprehend why people are willing to wait for an eternity in line for a cup of the hot stuff. I find the smell of coffee pleasing but the taste, bleech!

30 minutes later my turn finally comes. I ordered the Ice Cap and a baker's dozen of TimBits. As I’m paying it began to rain and since I jogged over and didn’t have my umbrella with me I waited until the rain died down. While waiting I ate one chocolate TimBit. Mmm, they are so perfect and round in shape and taste rich and moist. 12 different flavors remained. Oh Lord I wanted to gobble them all up but I kept my cool and instead took a teeny tiny bite sampling a taste out of each of them.

When I finally got home I gave “A” her drink. She saw my lipstick mark on the straw. (I had a little sip)

“How was it?” she asked.

“Bleech,” I replied.

After opening the TimBit box she sighed, shook her head and said,

“Good God child.”

“Stop calling me child.”

“If you wouldn’t do things like this I wouldn’t have too,” she stated taking a bite out of the apple spice flavored one which by the way was just as delectable as the chocolate one.

*****

My loyal and dear readers it’s finally F-R-I-D-A-Y!

Whatever your plans are have a melodic weekend.-x

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

So I Ask You My Lovely Ones....

Cocaine Princess here.

I like to read the comics in the newspaper every morning while enjoying a bowl of cold cereal or a can of Slim Fast. I usually try to steer clear of all the negative and depressing pieces of news so I go straight to the Lifestyle & Entertainment section and then head on over to the comics.

My favorite is PEANUTS. I love the entire Peanuts Gang in particular Snoopy, who sits on top of his posh dog house at his typewriter clacking away at the keys in the wee hours of the night, "It was a dark and stormy night..." and his yellow hippie best friend Woodstock is never far behind.

On Tuesday the editorial section of the paper was filled with readers fuming about the comic strip "Family Circus" stating it was "offensive, sexist, old fashioned," to even someone writing, "shame on Bill Keane."

This was the second time readers complained about a Family Circus cartoon (The first being on June 16th 2009).

The day old newspaper was lying in the recycling box. I went to retrieve it and re-read the cartoon to see what the fuss was all about.

Personally I wasn’t offended by it probably because I didn't read too much into it but apparently some others were. Now I mind you the ones who were offended are the same group who agreed with the school board banning the book “The Golden Compass” in 2008.

Let's rewind back to a cold day in February '08. Hmm, I was only 5 months into blogging.........


[2/1/08]

Controversy erupted when the Catholic School Board decided to ban The Golden Compass from their school libraries. Students were not even permitted to bring the book to school.

I decided to write a letter to the editor stating it was in my opinion wrong to ban the book. After my letter was published a fury of letters were unleashed against me including one from the always lovable Poodle Lady.

I am boldly against any form of censorship. I realize morals and values vary from family to family but I don't believe it's right or fair to allow someone else to decide for you what is and what isn’t offensive.

Getting back to the cartoon, I understand the readers point of view but I hardly think it's anything to get worked up over. Some readers even went as far as to say the paper should stop publishing the Family Circus strip. To quote Charlie Brown:Good Grief indeed! Ban the adorable and popular Family Circus?! Here's some advice, if you don't like it, don't read it. Why spoil it for the rest of us?

Below are both cartoons. So I ask you my lovely ones, do you find either one of these offensive, sexist or old fashioned? Should Bill Keane bury his head in the sand out of shame?


And here is the other:

********

My loyal and dear readers it's finally Friday!

There is a commercial that airs up here where the voice over says, "We have two seasons, winter and July."

Laugh if you must but he ain't kidding. The weatherman promises this weekend to be hot and sunny so I'll be absorbing and seizing the outdoors as much as I can.

Whatever your plans are have a stellar weekend.-x

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

"7 Designer Dogs You've Never Heard Of"

Cocaine Princess here.

I am into week 2 of the lazy days of summer. I know some of my loyal and dear readers have pets so here is today's list.

"7 Designer Dogs You've Never Heard Of"

"You’ve probably heard of Labradoodles, a mix between a Labrador retriever and a poodle, but there is a small universe of crossbreeds out there. They’re also called designer dogs, or hybrids.

They’re a combination of two different purebred parents. In theory, owners get the best attributes of each purebred parent without the defects (like hip dysplasia) that plague some breeds. In practice, it doesn’t always work out that way. According to an editor at a dog magazine, "Mixed breed dogs suffer from all of the same health problems that pure breeds do. And they’re less predictable. Purebreds have been bred for generations, and in some cases, hundreds of years. They have predictable physical and character traits. Mate a Lab and a poodle, and you could end up with a huge dog or a medium one, a trainable one or one that can’t get it no matter how many times you try. Frankly, I believe it’s a big scam. I believe the public is being misled by these people."

Designer dog breeders also charge purebred prices that can exceed $1,000.

Based on breed descriptions at dogbreedinfo.com, here is a list of best-and-worst-case scenarios when designer dogs are created from two purebreds.

CHORKIE: Chihuahua and Yorkshire terrier

Best: Courageous, quick-moving, lively companion,

Worst: Shivering, hard-to-housetrain wreck, oblivious of his small size, prone to being stepped on.

BULLOXER: Boxer and American bulldog

Best: Happy, playful, curious, energetic.

Worst: Can’t stop passing gas.

LABRADINGER: Labrador retriever and English springer spaniel

Best: Merry, loyal, intelligent pet.

Worst: Can’t even look at chocolate without gaining weight.

SAINT DANE: Great Dane and Saint Bernard

Best: Gentle, dignified giant.

Worst: Prone to bloat, accidentally knocking over small women and children.

GOLLIE: Golden retriever and collie

Best: Intelligent, sensitive.

Worst: Can’t stop herding.

BOSSI-POO: Boston terrier and poodle.

Best: Well-mannered, trainable.

Worst: Snores, drools, barks obsessively.

BUGGS: Boston terrier and pug

Best: Affectionate, happy, playful.

Worst: Rambunctious, high-strung, guards food, toys, or his favorite spot on the couch.

*****

Hmm, I'm happy with my pet goldfish, Nemo, Marlin and Dory.

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

"10 Exotic Dishes"

Cocaine Princess here.

...The lazy days of summer continue...

Due the overwhelming responses left on my last “list post” I have decided to post another list because I know how much you enjoy reading them....and because I'm having a slow week.

Today's list:

"10 Exotic Dishes"

A list of 10 unusual foods (from a North American perspective) you may eat when visiting

SARDINIA:
Maggot cheese also called Casu Frazigu which contains thousands of maggots.

NORWAY:
Smoked reindeer, part of the haute cuisine of the Sami people.

UKRAINE:
The dish of salo, or salted pork lard, is so popular, there are national festivals devoted to it.

CHILE:
Llam Charqui. Dried, salted llama meat, similar to beef jerky.

AUSTRALIA:
Finger lime. Bright pink citrus fruits in the shape of a finger. Are used in salad dressings and drinks.

TAIPEI:
Famous for its Snake Alley, one can find restaurants serving snakes in all kinds of sauces.

CHINA:
So many to choose from, so how about scorpions on a stick? Scorpions, impaled on a stick and dunked in oil.

JAPAN:
Tuna eyeball can be bought at the supermarket.

MOROCCO:
Goat dung oil. The oil consists of argan nuts taken from the excrement of a goat. The nuts are washed, roasted and the oil pressed out of them.

MADAGASCAR:
On The Amazing Race reality TV show, one eating challenge involved eating a plate of cows' lips (which still had hair, fat and teeth on them).

*****

For those who ridiculed me for liking pineapples on my pizza, hmm, it doesn't sound so gross now does it?

My loyal and dear readers it's finally F-R-I-D-A-Y!!

Whatever your plans are have a smashing weekend.-x

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

"11 Things Restaurants Do To Rip You Off"

Cocaine Princess here.

It's been pretty quiet up here at least on my end. Hmm, maybe it has to do with the lazy days of summer.

For the past week in one of the local newspapers a different list appeared everyday on a variety of subjects. Since I really have nothing new to share- unless you're dying to read about the cute pair of leopard printed peep toe sandals and matching purse I bought (because a girl can NEVER have too many shoes or purses) and then popped into the pet store and bought a little hottie mermaid statue for Nemo, Marlin and Dory, I thought I would share some of the lists with you starting with one that was written by the paper's food critic.

"11 Things Restaurants Do To Rip You Off "

1. RUSHED SEATING

Not informing you over the phone about a two-hour seating limit.

2. ICED TEA

Slipping ice cubes into the teapot to cool it down quickly.

3. WINE GOUGING

The insane three-to-one markup on alcohol ($62 for a 2006 Altesino Rosso that retails for $19.95 at the LCBO).

4. 10 PER CENT FOLKINESS

Appealing to you with the word "homemade" rather than disclosing just how much has been store-bought.

5. GOOD SOAKING

Selling you a $9 bottle of water and then constantly topping up your glass so you'll order another.

6. LAZY SUNDAY

Serving burnt, dry food for brunch because locals are too tired/lazy/hungover to know/care.

7. PRICEY BOOZE

Any cocktail that costs more than $15.

8. CROWDED HOUSE

Over-seating. Squeezing 60 seats into a 40-seat room so that every couple is sharing a single, cacophonous conversation.

9. TOUCHY FEELY

Sexy servers touching you on the shoulder (and restaurants asking would-be servers to include headshots with their resumés).

10. FAKE SUSHI

Tilapia sold as red snapper, and rectangle-moulded, red-painted pollock (surimi) sold as crab.

11. XXXX-VILLE

Valet parking can't disguise a whole *neighborhood of restaurants that ought to be rounded up in a paddy wagon and run in on racketeering charges.

*The neighborhood of restaurants the critic is referring to is the poshest area in the city where you will find all the best hotels, stores and restaurants. Just think Rodeo Drive. The valet parking begins at $35-45 and can go as high as $75. Frigging ridiculous isn't it?!

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

Dear Mother Nature

Cocaine Princess here.

Canada Day was a flop thanks to none other than who? Mother Nature who else?

Mother Nature if you are reading this,

"Is it not enough you torment us during the winter? Must you continue your reign of terror during our extremely short summers too?"

The day started out like this.


It began to rain hard with thunderstorms. At one point the power went out for about an hour. Local celebrations were canceled including the fireworks display.

While waiting for the rain to die down we ordered a cheesy pizza with pineapple from the local pizzeria.

As you can see we enjoyed it.

For dessert:

Vanilla ice cream with our nation's flag. Sold only this time of year!
Later on in evening we headed on over to the cineplex to watch Public Enemies! Awesome film but then again any film with Johnny Depp I think is awesome.

When the movie let out it was still raining outside.

THURSDAY JULY 2nd

It was raining all day yesterday morning and all afternoon until FINALLY Mother Nature decided to show us some mercy and put a halt to the rain. Can you see the rainbow?


10 pm-ish the firecrackers started banging. It was a day late but better late than never.

My loyal and dear readers it's finally Friday.

Whatever your plans are have a tremendous, full of sunshine and patriotic long weekend.-x

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

Bryan Adams and Tom Cochrane

Cocaine Princess here.

Today is our nation’s birthday. Festivities will be taking place almost everywhere.

On my May 2-4 post (o5/15/09) I explained how the long weekend is celebrated:

1.

Jumping into the car and driving up to the cottage to sit by the lake and fight off mosquitoes.

2.
Heading into the direction of the nearest grocery store to pile the cart with an assortment of BBQ food and grill the day away. (Shopping is done the day before)

3.
Spending the entire day chilling out on a beer patio.

Canada Day is celebrated in the same manner with 2 more additional things:

4.
Everybody proudly displays the Canadian flag or the Molson Beer Flag.


5.
Just about every patio restaurant and neighborhood pool party will have 2 songs blasting out loud during the course of the day at least 10 times:


The Summer of ‘69 by Bryan Adams (Hmm, we all know this cheeky song has nothing to do with the year 1969.... PS. It's one of my fave Bryan Adams song next to "One Night Love Affair")


Life Is A Highway by Tom Cochrane


Because no Canada Day celebration would be complete without those 2 songs playing.



Both are great songs but no party is complete without playing tunes by Madonna, Lady Gaga and yes, even a little Danny Fernandes.


Part of my celebrations will include going to the movies. "Public Enemies" starring my favorite actor Johnny Depp who plays the notorious John Dillinger opens today. I plan to feast on popcorn, jube-jubes and since the cineplex doesn’t carry Diet or regular Dr. Pepper, an icy cold Coke.



HAPPY CANADA DAY!



XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess