Winter Vaycay: Round 2 Of Let's Make A Deal

 

Cocaine Princess here.

To review:

Although it was a good question and for a brief moment I did become distracted trying to decide what outfit I was going to wear and with what accessories, I went back to my question and demanded she fill in the missing pieces for me. Valentina put down the binder and while leaning back in the chair she spoke in a soft and sweet tone......which by the way is never a good thing.

VALENTINA: Mi Amor, I’ll be more than happy to fill in the missing pieces only if you agree to let me tell you something first about whose name shall not be mentioned. Do we have deal?

      Let’s Make a Deal: Round 2

ME: No, we don’t have a deal!

This is not a game show, this is real life. But if this were a game show it would be called “Fill In The Blanks” and I definitely would lose. I continued.

ME: Really, it’s come down to this?

Valentina is fully aware whose name shall not be mentioned {WNSNBM– how’s that for an acronym?!} is a subject that is off limits yet for some reason she continues to mention his name. I knew she couldn’t have but given how well I slept and because I had no memory of what happened I was almost convinced the reason for it was because my lovable best friend slipped a little something in my drinkie. There were only 2 sure ways to find out if indeed I had been drugged. 1} A blood test or 2} Confronting Valentina. I chose the latter and upon doing so she almost fell out of her chair but not before her jaw dropped.

VALENTINA: You think I could ever do that to you? 

Of course not but I still felt the need to ask after all it was a clever way for her to get her way and in this case her way was talking about well, you know who.

VALENTINA: I would never stoop that low. I may occasionally use the “bugging method”  in order to get my way but I’d never resort to drugs

Occasionally? Puh-leeze! Anytime there’s something I’m not interested in hearing or knowing, Valentina will insist it’s vital that she tell me almost to the point where if she doesn’t the world might come to an end, and will continue to badger me about it until I’m left with no choice other than to say: “Go ahead, tell me what is so important?” However, this was not one of those times. I refused to cave in or play her little game.

She asked once more:

VALENTINA: Do we have deal?

ME: Absolutely......

Valentina’s eyes shined like the city of lights. Oh, did I mention I wasn’t finished my sentence?

ME: Not! 


Followed by:

ME: I’m going to change for dinner.

I turned around and headed back to my room. It was killing me inside not knowing the events of the night before but I wasn’t about to find out on account of a deal I agreed to and if that meant me not ever knowing then so be it. It would remain one of life’s greatest mysteries along side with what happened to Jimmy Hoffa and how do they get the caramel inside a Caramilk bar? As I was nearing the room Gucci was guarding I could hear Valentina backing out of her chair. She darted around the corner and uttered the following words:

VALENTINA: Mi amor, forget the deal-- I’ll just tell you.

To Be Continued....

****

My loyal and dear readers, it's finally Friday.

Whatever your plans are have a stellar last weekend of January.~x

XOXOXOXO,

Cocaine Princess

Winter Vaycay: Let's Make A Deal

 Cocaine Princess here.

To review:

I closed my eyes and replayed the events of the day....boarded flight....flight landed.....arrival at resort......Gucci....jewelery.....Rum-Runners on the beach....

And it was at that moment when my memory got a little hazy. I looked at Valentina.

ME: What the hell happened last night?

Uh- oh, upon asking that question Valentina grinned like that Cheshire Cat, again. I thought to myself, Dear God whatever did happen, it can't be good.

Part 5:

VALENTINA: I can’t tell you.

ME: Why?

Don’t tell me it’s because you can’t remember either? Valentina finished eating. After pushing her plate to one side she signaled with her hands for the butler to remove it from her presence. Her highness wouldn’t have it any other way.

VALENTINA: You know what they say, “what happens in winter vaycay, stays in winter vaycay.” My lips are sealed.

I explained that rule only applied in Vegas and not down in the tropics.

VALENTINA: So I bent the rules a bit.

You sure did–  to suit your own needs!

ME: Just please tell me.

VALENTINA: You really don’t remember?

ME: No I don’t remember! Why do you think I’m asking?

VALENTINA: You know Princesa they say the best kind of nights are the ones you can’t remember and did we have one hell of a night!

Upon hearing her say that I could feel the blood slowly draining out of me as different and horrible scenarios and not to mention images came barreling into my mind. I took comfort knowing I didn’t wake up with any colorful plastic beads around my neck. I’m not big on drinking. I’m the type of drinker who’ll have a glass of red wine with their dinner once every couple of months. If I’m at a party, a teeny sip here and there and that’s enough for me but during winter break, well now that’s a whole other story. Aside from the traditional Rum Runner it’s not uncommon to find the Princess laying under a palapa hut with a margarita in her manicured hands at 10 in the morning and another at noon and another at– okay you get the picture. In other words vaycay is really the only time I’ll kickback and have a few drinkies BUT not to the point where I blackout! I tried again recalling what happened: boarded flight....flight landed.....arrival at resort......Gucci....jewelery.....Rum-Runners on the beach.... I kept drawing a blank after Rum-Runners. It was like hitting a brick wall. Wow! I wasn’t even 24 hours into my vaycay and I had somehow managed to impair my memory. Hmm, I wonder if an award will be bestowed upon me for achieving this accomplishment? Why couldn’t I remember? And what was even more strange, if alcohol was indeed the cause of me not remembering then why did I awaken feeling so refreshed {honestly it was one of the best night’s sleep I’d ever had in a long time} and not with a pounding headache? I don’t even know how I got into bed! On the table where Valentina was sitting was a binder with the name of our resort written on the spine. Inside were pages of information about the resort. As she thumbed through it she asked what I was planning on wearing at dinner? How sneaky of her— changing the subject! Although it was a good question and for a brief moment I did become distracted  trying to decide what outfit I was going to wear and with what accessories, I went back to my question and demanded she fill in the missing pieces for me. Valentina put down the binder and while leaning back in the chair she spoke in a soft and sweet tone......which by the way is never a good thing.

VALENTINA: Mi Amor, I’ll be more than happy to fill in the missing pieces, only if you agree to let me tell you something first about whose name shall not be mentioned. Do we have a deal?

To Be Continued....

****

My loyal and dear readers, it’s finally Friday.


We’re 20 days into the New Year and how’s everyone holding up so far? Any resolutions broken yet?

Whatever your plans are have a marvelous weekend. ~x

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

Winter Vaycay: The Butler Did It!

 

Cocaine Princess here.

To Review:

Valentina re~appeared but wasn’t empty handed. She was holding a tray of drinkies.

ME: Can’t this wait until morning?

Putting the tray down on the bed she reminded me it was morning.

ME: You know what I mean.

VALENTINA: You know the rules. Winter vaycay doesn’t officially start until we’ve had  Rum Runners.

Part 4

In many cultures there are several symbols that officially mark the start of winter, for example a grand celebration in honor of the winter solstice.  For my bf and I it’s drinking Rum Runners. In the middle of the Hurricane glasses were 4 shot glasses. Valentina had a brilliant idea- she decided to add something new to our tradition. I walked over to where she was, on the bed sitting cross legged. I leaned in and took a whiff of the shot glasses. Holy Snap, Crackle and Pop!! The aroma was so incredibly toxic it nearly threw me clear across the room.  2 of the glasses were empty.

VALENTINA: I couldn’t wait so I had both shots on my way over here from the kitchen.

And you’re still standing?! Good grief I would have passed out!

I flat out refused to do the shots however I did agree to the Rum Runners. I suggested we toast out on the balcony. The doors were open and although it couldn’t be felt a slight breeze was coming in, the gauzy curtains were flowing slowly back and forth. Valentina suggested an even better idea. What better way to mark the start of winter vaycay than barefoot on the beach with the silky sand in between our pedicured toes?

The next day I had awoken feeling re~freshed and re~energized. The blinds to the balcony doors were open allowing the tropical sun to come beaming in. I was sleeping in a 4 poster bed and when I sat up I saw my regal robe hanging on one of the corner posts. Crawling towards it and quickly removing it from the post I wrapped myself in it. I noticed the matching pair of slippers laying on the floor next to the bed. My feet slid perfectly into them. They felt like they were the insulated type. All my suitcases had been unpacked. Everything either had been neatly hung up or folded in the drawers. This is where the phrase “the butler did it” would be appropriate to use. Stepping onto the balcony and looking down below I could tell the resort was pumping. The 2 pools were packed with so many guests that I couldn’t even see the water and the line to the water slide appeared to be a mile long. Out in the water, the jet skis and banana boats were in full force and the beach strip was filled with sun worshipers. After showering and changing into a cute bikini and cover~up I headed straight to the kitchen area where I could hear Valentina more or less giving SF a hard time about something. His entire crew was there on hand. Valentina was at the kitchen table eating a snack.

VALENTINA: Buenas tardes Princesa.

ME: Afternoon?

VALENTINA: It’s after 5pm.

I thought she was kidding until I looked at the microwave clock. 

ME: How long have I been sleeping?

VALENTINA: Roughly 13hrs. We didn’t get to bed til around 4am.

ME: Why didn’t you wake me up?! 

VALENTINA: Because each time I went to your room to see if you were up yet you were sound asleep and given your bad history with the Sandman I thought it’d be best to let you sleep in. Don’t worry I checked your pulse a few times to make sure you were still alive.

ME: Suppose I wasn’t really sleeping but was in some type of catatonic state?

VALENTINA: I never thought about that. Next time I’ll nudge you around a little and if you make a sound I’ll know you’re alright.

How comforting! 13hrs- WOW! I do believe that's a personal best of mine. I needed to sit down. Hmm....Bed? Wait, I had no recollection of even going to bed.

I closed my eyes and replayed the events of the day....boarded flight....flight landed.....arrival at resort......Gucci....jewelery.....Rum-Runners on the beach....

And it was at that moment when my memory got a little hazy. I looked at Valentina.

ME: What the hell happened last night?

Uh- oh, upon asking that question Valentina grinned like that Cheshire Cat, again. I thought to myself, Dear God whatever did happen, it can't be good.



To Be Continued....

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My loyal and dear readers, it's finally Friday........THE 13TH!!

Whatever your plans are have a lucky weekend.~x

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

Winter Vaycay: Well, Well, Well....

 

 Cocaine Princess here.

To review Part 2:


Valentina was anxious that I go to my room and see the surprise that was waiting there for me but I was anxious in taking a whiff of the Caribbean Sea so I went outside and stood on the living room balcony. And there it was the sound I had been longing to hear– the sound of beach waves.....Ahh, this was like a symphony to my ears. Unfortunately the music didn’t last too long. Valentina dragged me back inside insisting I see the surprise.

ME: Okay, okay.

Making our way to my room I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw a familiar face in the hallway.....

To Be Continued.

Part 3:

ME: Well, well, well we meet again.

I looked at Valentina.

ME: Is he still, you know.......

VALENTINA: Mental? More than ever.

Mental wasn’t the word I was going for, more like troubled.

ME: To be honest I wasn’t expecting to see him.

VALENTINA: SF refuses to get rid of him and no psychiatric facility will take him as a patient.

Gucci. We were talking about Gucci........The Guard Dog. If you’re unable to remember this troubled dog click here and here. He stood on all fours at attention. There were 2 other Dobermans in the suite but I knew this was Gucci on account of the collar. It had the designer’s colors and dangling from the collar was the double-G symbol. If it wasn’t for the goofy look on his face I would have been under the impression he was getting ready to attack.

ME: Is he guarding the room?

Valentina nodded.

ME: Why? 

VALENTINA: Take a look inside.

And that's exactly what I did. Sitting on the bed were a pair of kissing swans made from towel origami. I thought at first maybe, just maybe Valentina’s daddy was inside the room waiting to surprise me with an early appearance and the whole him coming in a few days and Valentina pushing me to go to my room and Gucci in the hallway was all part of the plan. I checked the entire room, even behind the shower curtain and I did a quick peak under the bed. Nothing. I went back out.

ME: I didn’t see anyone in there.

VALENTINA: That’s because there isn't.

ME: Is there something of value in the room?

VALENTINA: No.

Am I missing something?

ME: Then why is he guarding this room? Who or what does he think he’s guarding?

VALENTINA: His imaginary friend.

Come again? 

She explained:

Each time Gucci is fed he’ll set aside a piece of food from his dish and place it in the corner of the kitchen before finishing his own meal. The piece of food will stay there for hours. He doesn’t eat it but will frequently make visits throughout the day and just stares at it. The cleaning staff tried to throw the piece out but the mutt went ballistic, so one day they threw it out without him around and the next day Gucci set aside some more food. He once got a tennis ball and kicked it to the where the food was laying and then stood there waiting-- as if the ball would be kicked back to him. When he’s not setting aside food he swats at the air and will romp around like he’s playing with someone else. SF asked daddy if it would be okay to call in an animal behavior specialist. After spending the day with Gucci the behavior specialist concluded the pooch has an imaginary friend.

VALENTINA: You should see him with a chew toy-- you know that squeaky sound it makes– that sound scares the hell out of him. Gucci goes running in the opposite direction. I think the mongrel may actually be a scaredy cat in Doberman’s clothing. 

Grinning in the style of the Cheshire cat she continued.

VALENTINA: I packed a chew toy just to annoy him, want me to go get it?

SF who had been listening chimed in.

SF: Leave him alone, understand?

I looked back and there he was looking at Valentina with those cold eyes. He reiterated his words again. Valentina responded with the following remark:

VALENTINA: Yo no hablo inglés...... {under her breath} Gringo.

The crisis in the Middle East would probably come to an end before the situation ever improves between these two. Hostile and aggressive as ever. My room was located at the end of the hall. 2 double wooden doors with swirly designs carved on both. My room could be best described as grand and lavish. Laying in the middle of the king size bed was an exquisite arrangement of orchids and beside it a medium size grey box with a note laying beside it. It was a loving and tender message from Valentina’s daddy. Picking up the box I was assured by my bf I would “absolutely love” what was inside.
 
ME: You know what’s in here?

VALENTINA: Uh-huh. I was there helping him choose the pieces.

Hmm, pieces....so whatever was inside there was more than one. To receive an more wow factor I closed my eyes as I opened the lid, counted to 3 and then re~opened them. There were 4 different pieces of gold and emerald baubles. Simply amazing!

VALENTINA: Colombian emeralds. None of that Zambian crap.

Valentina is convinced the only true emeralds on this wonderful planet of ours come only from the Mother~Land, Colombia. Anyplace else and they’re not true emeralds. She excused herself for a moment and while I was alone with my new 4 best friends I tried on 2 of the pieces and admired how they looked on me by looking in the mirror on the dresser table. Had it been daytime I might have pulled an Elizabeth Taylor. Allow me to explain: I’m a big fan of the late and great actress. { “During her marriage to Mike Todd, Elizabeth was swimming laps in the pool at their villa in St.-Jean-Cap-Ferrat when he surprised her with a trio of Cartier boxes containing this magnificent suite of ruby jewels. Without a mirror at hand to see how her new jewels looked, she studied her reflection in the pool instead.”} Valentina re~appeared but wasn’t empty handed. She was holding a tray of drinkies.

ME: Can’t this wait until morning?

Putting the tray down on the bed she reminded me it was morning.

ME: You know what I mean.

VALENTINA: You know the rules. Winter vaycay doesn’t officially start until we’ve had  Rum Runners. 

To Be Continued....

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

Winter Vaycay: A Familiar Face

 

 Cocaine Princess here.

To review:

To quote that cute blockhead, Good grief! I was not even 10 minutes into my vaycay and Valentina had somehow found a way to embarrass me, as for Semper~Fi and his reaction?

Hmm, well I really couldn’t tell if he was embarrassed or not. You see, he had that same old expression on his face he always does: The stone cold look.

**** 

My only explanation as to why Valentina’s verbal antics haven’t driven SF to the looney bin or given the poor chap some type of nervous twitch is one of 3 reasons: 1} The more than generous salary he receives 2} He really loves his job. 3} He has an extremely thick skin.  Nah, it’s got to be the money.

My luggage arrived without delay and I was able to by~pass going through the customs and immigration line. This is one of the perks of having loved ones in high places, if you know what I mean.

We exited out of the airport by way of the clear sliding doors. To one side was a guy in a straw hat who was selling beer out of a rolling cooler. Many of the passengers were fumbling around with their wallets looking for change– and those same passengers who didn’t change out of their clothes I could tell felt the mistake of not doing so because they were mopping off the perspire from their faces by using their sleeves, while others grabbed a handful of ice from the cooler and smeared it across their foreheads.

Parked along the curbside were a string of taxis and 3 buses with a destination/hotel representative standing out in front. And then there was my carriage ride AKA an SUV with tinted black windows fully equipped with 2 other members from Semper~Fi’s squad. My luggage was placed in the trunk and I knew the guys would be gentle with them but I don’t think Valentina was seeing how she sternly instructed that they be “extremely careful.” At times she can be quite bossy. Not including my carry on I had 5 in total. I understand my fellow readers may think it’s a bit too much for one person but when it comes to traveling I have a motto that I follow and obey religiously: “Never Travel Light.” This Princess here packs a lot of clothes, shoes and accessories. And because of my motto I always have to pay a slight fee for the excess baggage and also because of it one of the luggage pieces wouldn’t fit– there was no more room in the car so that particular one went into the backseat in between Valentina and I. It had been months since the 2 of us had seen each other and now a barricade made from polycarbonate was between us. Leaning forward in her seat Valentina gave me the cliff notes version of what was happening over the holidays including the vow renewal ceremony. Yes, my lovelies a vow renewal ceremony took place which I’ll be later blogging about so please stay tuned. 

The ocean front resort was fabulous! Valentina’s daddy {who flew in at a later date} booked us an enormous presidential suite on the top floor. There was a full kitchen, a spacious living room with teal colored pillows on a creme colored sofa set and a dining room that was separated by a glass partition. The entire suite was adorned with local artwork hung on the wall and ceramic pieces on the shelves. On instinct when I enter into a domicile I remove my shoes but since the a/c was cranked to the max and given the fact the floors were made from marble I decided it was best to kept my heels on, you know to avoid frostbite. Given where I live you’d think I’d be use to the temperature. In under a minute tiny goose bumps appeared on my arms and my teeth began to chatter. Before I had a chance to ask one of SF’s entourage if they could turn down the a/c  Valentina spoke:

VALENTINA: Before you say anything else---

She snapped her fingers and right on cue the uniformed butler that came with our suite appeared with a white velvet robe slung over his arm.  From behind he placed the robe on my shoulders and I couldn’t help but feel imperial, like a Queen. All that was missing was my royal scepter. Hey, it isn’t that far fetched after all first comes Princess then Queen.

Valentina was anxious that I go to my room and see the surprise that was waiting there for me but I was anxious in taking a whiff of the Caribbean Sea so I went outside and stood on the living room balcony. And there it was the sound I had been longing to hear– the sound of beach waves.....Ahh, this was like a symphony to my ears. Unfortunately the music didn’t last too long. Valentina dragged me back inside insisting I see the surprise.

ME: Okay, okay.

Making our way to the bedroom I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw a familiar face in the hallway.....

To Be Continued.

****

We're 9 days into the New Year and I hope 2012 is treating my lovelies well. I'm still off schedule with so many things but soon enough I'll be back on track.

Hope your weekend was a splendid one. ~x

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess 







 

Winter Vaycay: The Anaconda Greet

 Cocaine Princess here.

Since I was leaving for vaycay and wouldn’t be celebrating Christmas with sister the 2 of us had a delicious Pre-Christmas dinner on December 22nd and then exchanged our gifts. “A” wanted to put the gifts I bought for her under the tree and wait until the 25th to open them. I objected and requested she open them in front of me.....Hmm, now that I think back to that night I may have demanded rather than ask she open them up in front of me. I was interested in seeing her reaction. I don’t want to come off like I’m bragging but when it comes to gift giving I’m pretty awesome and given sister’s reaction all I have to say is “Job well done, Princess.” My lovelies, excuse me for a moment while I pat myself on the back. 

My flight departed late in the evening. Originally it had been scheduled to leave in the afternoon but I received word a few days earlier about the change in time. I dislike late flights but seeing how I’m a big believer in “things happening for a reason” I had confidence there must have been a good reason for the last minute time change. Because I departed late I arrived late, late as in well after midnight and because of that I missed the whole looking out the window and soaking up the tropical scenery as the plane descended. Instead all I could see were lights. Not the runway lights but the city lights and from where I was seated the lights looked more like the tip on a lighter’s flame.

One of the 1000s of little things I look forward to about winter vaycay is the change of temperature. Leaving behind the c–c–cold and saying hello to the blistering heat especially when I’m going down the portable stairs in my new specialty selected outfit. In case you’re wondering what that means I think it’s pretty much self explanatory, right? 30 minutes prior to landing I changed out of my wool skirt and turtleneck into a cotton little mini skirt, sheer sleeveless top and my open toed stilettos. As I continued making my way down the stairs the parts of my body that were bare immediately felt the high levels of humidity. When I reached the last step I just stood there inhaling the hot muggy air and was completely oblivious there were other passengers behind me who were itching to start their holidays! A couple of loud Excuse Me! and a hard tap on the shoulder broke my concentration.

The airport wasn’t very big, it was a one floor building. Tugging along my carry~on in style and holding a bag full of SkyMall purchases in my other hand I followed the others inside. The very moment I stepped inside I heard a high pitched shriek and this person running towards me....my bf of course! Valentina greeted me in a similar manner that an anaconda would greet its’ prey. Valentina and I communicate everyday by talking on the phone and sending text messages back and forth and although it may feel like the person is right there next to you nothing beats talking and being with a person, live and face to face. 

Each time I see Valentina she has a daring new haircut. Last winter she had announced that she was going to grow her hair long like mine and 2 weeks ago even emailed a picture of her hair, it was well past her shoulders. She says she wants to grow her hair long like mine but apparently doesn’t have the patience because 36hours earlier she decided to chop it off! Impatient to grow her long and always experimenting with new styles this time Valentina went with a pixie cut. Totally rocking the London look the ends of her hair were tinted a deep maroon color which was a great contrast against her jet black hair.

As glad as I was seeing my bestie, I was gasping for air and just when I thought my ribs were about to crack Valentina released me from her loving grip but still kept one arm around me very tight. Oh and and speaking of arms......standing less than an arm’s length away from her was Semper~Fi. I said a cheery hello and in return SF gave me one of those head nods. Forget being in a festive mood my forever friend was in a cheeky mood. Valentina suggested with a sly and mischievous grin I give SF a kiss.

VALENTINA: He splashed an extra dose of cologne---- just for you Princesa.

To quote that cute blockhead, Good grief! I was not even 10 minutes into my vaycay and Valentina had somehow found a way to embarrass me, as for Semper~Fi and his reaction?

Hmm, well I really couldn’t tell if he was embarrassed or not. You see, he had that same old expression on his face he always does: The stone cold look.

To Be Continued.....

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

January 1st: Hangover Recovery Day

Cocaine Princess here.

I know you're wondering why I'm posting on a Sunday evening and not on my usual Friday in the wee hours of the night, right?

Being still on vaycay means I'm totally off schedule with things.

I had a fabulous Christmas and a total blast ringing in 2012, and hope you all did too. No worries, I'll be blogging about my winter vaycay soon. It's funny how the days leading up to New Year's Eve everyone here at the resort was jumping and so full of energy and now today we're all like a bunch of zombies-- many with confetti still in our hair, dark sunglasses covering our blood shot eyes and drinking that fizzy water stuff or unhealthy amounts of coffee. Slowly we're in the process of returning back to our normal selves again. 

During lunch all was quiet until the poolside DJ decided to liven things up. He played a song which pretty much accurately describes how we're all feeling on this 1st day of the New Year.

The music may have been thumping but no one was bumping. We all just sat there, so very still. Mr. Poolside DJ wasn't a very liked person especially when he uttered the following message through his megaphone: "HAPPY HEADACHE DAY!" 

****

Lovelies, Happy New Year. Here's to 2012!! May it treat you awesome and bring everything that you desire.

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess