Winter Vaycay: The Idiot Wedding Planner

 

Cocaine Princess here.

I know my loyal readers have been hungry for me to post the continuing saga of my winter vaycay. To read the entire last part click here.

To review:  

FLAKY BARBIE: Maybe you and my boyfriend can catch up and reminisce about old times? 

But wait, she wasn't finished. While looking at my polished toes:

FLAKY BARBIE: I love that color! 

She went from boyfriend to the subject of nail polish color in under 5 seconds flat! 

Valentina texted another message:

VALENTINA: I think all the silicone from her beach balls somehow leaked upwards into what little brain she has.

 Winter Vaycay: The Idiot Wedding Planner

I leaned back in my pedicure massage chair and returned to my magazine but not before looking at Valentina, who of course had to say something:

VALENTINA: They have the combined IQ of a rock.

The following afternoon the vow renewal ceremony took place at the resort outside in the gardens. There was a cobblestone path that lead from the pool area to the resorts’ lush and tropical gardens. A sign was posted at the start of the cobblestone path that read, “Private Function” with a rope that closed off the entire area except for the invited guests.

Valentina and I were up in the suite getting ready. Neither of us had attended her wedding 5 years ago since we weren’t acquainted with her however Val’s daddy {who had flown in for the nuptials} attended their wedding seeing how he’s close with The Panamanian. But over these last few years of attending the same social functions we became friends you could say. The invite specifically asked each guest wear white and in lieu of gifts a donation be made instead to the couple’s favorite charity. The invite was lying on the dining room table. Valentina picked it up.

VALENTINA: Too bad they’re not accepting gifts. I had the most perfect gift in mind.

I was in the kitchen where my purse lay on the counter. I wore a white strapless dress with a sweetheart neck. The front part was embellished with gold studs that formed
a sunburst pattern. Opening my white Chanel chain strap bag I checked to make sure I had all my essentials. You know: lipstick, lip gloss and my compact. Check, check and
check! I took out my compact and lightly touched up my lips with a bit of gloss.

ME: And what would you have bought for the happy couple.

VALENTINA: It’s more of a gift for that fat, balding Panamanian.

I advised my best friend that it wasn’t a good idea to keep referring to The Panamanian as fat and balding. She may slip up and say it in his presence. Valentina replied the chances of that ever happening were impossible since she’s never spoken to him and probably never would. I then questioned what if she made the slip in front of Topless Barbie?

VALENTINA: She has trouble keeping up with Sesame Street, I doubt she’d even know what I was talking about. So do you or don't you want to know what I'd buy him?

I nodded yes. Hey, I was curious!

VALENTINA: A gift certificate to Jenny Craig. I’m not sure what I’d buy his wife, although I’m sure science would love to take a crack at that brain of hers.

To Be Continued.... 

Sorry to end this post here my lovelies but it’s been one busy week. I can’t believe how quickly this month is going--- can you believe the month of May is nearly here?

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A new horror flick is opening this weekend, “The Raven” starring John Cusack. 

Plot: When a madman begins committing horrific murders inspired by Edgar Allan Poe's works, a young Baltimore detective joins forces with Poe to stop him from making his stories a reality. 

Here is the official trailer:

Hmm, I wonder what Mr. Poe would think of the film? 

Question: What is your favorite poem by Edgar Allen Poe? 

I've always liked The Simpsons adaption of “The Raven” from “Treehouse Of Horror.” Click here to view it and might I say, how awesome is the voice of James Earl Jones!

But I also like Christopher Walken's version too.

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My loyal and dear readers, it's finally Friday.

Whatever your plans are have a magnificent last weekend of April. ~x

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

Good Job, Boys!

Cocaine Princess here.

I love Cartagena, Colombia. I've blogged entries about this gorgeous city here and here. It's a city I feel a deep rooted emotional connection to-- my mom was born here.

Lately this city has been in the news no thanks to the sex scandal involving 11 Secret Service Agents that were assigned to President Obama for the Summit Of America Meeting that took place where else? Cartagena. They had arrived early before Obama's arrival to scout a location before a presidential appearance.

"The Secret Service Agents went to a club where they drank expensive whiskey and  and bragged to women they worked for President Obama. The men were also serviced by prostitutes at the club and then brought them back to their hotel rooms.

The following morning there was reportedly a dispute between one of the women and an official over the amount of money she was owed for spending the night. A quarrel ensued and the authorities were ultimately called. Colombian police officers arguing on the women’s behalf and American federal agents who tried but failed to keep the matter from escalating which resulted in the hotel staff getting involved, who then called the U.S. authorities. The agents were immediately flown back to DC and have been placed on paid administrative leave.

So far, three people involved have lost their jobs. The service said Wednesday that one supervisor was allowed to retire, and another will be fired for cause. A third employee, who was not a supervisor, has resigned. Just when you thought this couldn't get any more embarrassing, there are now reports that some U.S. military personnel was also involved in the so-called "personal misconduct" in Colombia." 

If anything I find this whole situation hilarious and here's why: Let's first get a clear  job description of a Secret Service Agent:

The job of a secret service special agent is to protect the president, vice president and their families.

As reported the Secret Service men had arrived early before President Obama to scout a location before a presidential appearance-- such as operate metal detectors, stand at fixed sentry posts and handle bomb-sniffing dogs but what did these guys wind up doing instead? They decided their time would be better off indulging in booze and women. One has to wonder how many times they've engaged in this kind of behavior before? 

Talk about a massive embarrassing situation- they humiliated the American government in front of the whole entire world. Since the scandal erupted the Secret Service has been a heated trending topic on twitter and ridiculed to no end. For example:

http://twitter.com/SexCigarsBooze 

Alex: Cocaine, whiskey, and hookers… Me: What you have to be willing to do to be on Obama’s Secret Service detail?

And of course late night jokes: 

"Did you hear how they caught those Secret Service agents with prostitutes in Colombia? Apparently the men were walking around wearing nothing but their sunglasses and those earpieces." –Conan O'Brien 

Speaking of the Secret Service, yesterday they questioned rocker Ted Nugent over the following statement he made on Glenn Beck's radio show: "If Barack Obama becomes the president in November again, I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year."  My opinion on this particular matter? Hmm, I think the guys in suits who couldn't control their hormones were trying to extinguish heat from the scandal by bringing Ted Nugent into the news. Too bad guys, because I don't think this scandal is going to die down anytime soon-- it's been now reported the Secret Service had planned on having a wild night of fun by booking a party space in advanced at the hotel before they headed out to the clubs.

I have a feeling there's a lot more to this story and I can't wait to hear it fully unfold.  On a positive note, thanks for bringing Cartagena into the limelight-- Good Jobs, Boys! 

So my lovelies, what are your thoughts on the whole scandal?

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My Loyal and Dear Readers, it's finally Friday.

Whatever your plans are have a magnificent weekend. ~x

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess
 

"Superstition Ain't The Way!"

 

Cocaine Princess here.

German writer Johann Wolfgang von Goethe once wrote "Superstition is the poetry of life." Philosopher Edmund Burke wrote that, "Superstition is the religion of feeble minds," while Stevie Wonder sang, "When you believe in things that you don't understand, then you suffer - superstition ain't the way!"

In case you don't already know, today is Friday The 13th. The mere mention of Friday The 13th and one can't help but think of that disfigured guy with the hockey mask who gets a kick out of slashing teen camp counselors to death. 

The Friday The 13th I am referring to is the date that is considered to be bad luck in western superstition. This is the 2nd Friday the 13th. The first was in January and the next will take place in July. In total 2012 will have 3.

How many of you are superstitious? I think all of us have those little things we do to prevent any type of "bad luck" from occurring. Some of mine include, knocking on wood so I won't "jinx" the outcome of a statement I made, I refuse to walk under ladders and under no circumstances will I open an umbrella indoors and, I always carry a good luck charm with me wherever I go.

My lovelies, do you have any superstitions? What about the number 13, is it a number you consider lucky or unlucky?

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My loyal and dear readers, it's finally Friday...The 13th. Watch out!!

Whatever your plans are have a stupendous weekend. ~x

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess 

Easter: The Playboy Edition

 

Cocaine Princess here.

Happy Good Friday to all my Lovely Ones.

The Easter Long Weekend has arrived and I for one am happy, so happy that I'm hopping happy! Besides eating chocolate eggs and bunnies, Easter also means buying a new outfit and a pair of brand new shoes, hey the season calls for it, after all it's Spring~Time Renewal.
 

Question: Why shouldn't you tell an Easter egg a good joke?
Answer:    It might crack up!

How can I blog a holiday entry without posting a drinkie? That would be unheard of, right?  As you know I collect all things Playboy. If you've forgotten why, click here. I thought one that would be fitting for this post would be something to do with bunnies. My lovelies, I present to you:

"The Playboy Bunny Cocktail"

INGREDIENTS
2 Fifths Smirnoff® vodka
1 Fifth Jose Cuervo® Margarita Mix
6 Cups Pink Lemonade
2 Cups Ocean Spray® Cranberry Juice
3 Cups Orange Juice
40 Ice Cubes
1 Tsp Sugar

INGREDIENTS

Add all ingredients besides sugar into a blender and blend well. Dampen the rim of the glass and decorate with sugar. Pour drink into glass and top off with straw. 

Serve in a Hurricane Glass.

My favorite Playboy Bunny-- The one and only, Miss Deborah Harry. She's so darling and oh so cute in this pic!

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My loyal and dear readers, it's finally {Good} Friday.

Whatever your plans are, have a safe and Happy Easter Long Weekend. Hop! Hop!~x

XOXOXOXO,

Cocaine Princess