Hasta La Vista!

Cocaine Princess here.

I know you're all waiting with bated breath so without further delay here is part 2 but just to review--

SISTER: They’re cats darling, not a den of lions. You do know the difference, right?

ME: Yes! Just go see for yourself.

SISTER: Fine, I will right now.

I followed her into the kitchen........and then outside.

The exact same thing those cats did to me, they did to sister.

ME: I told you so.

I’m not going to lie, it felt good saying I told you so to sister. Believe me, it’s not often that I’m able to.

Part 2

SISTER: She's just being over protective of her babies.

ME: What does she want from us? A medal with the words "World's Best Cat Mom" engraved? Can't you just get rid of them?

SISTER: I'll see what I can do.

2 DAYS LATER

Nothing was accomplished. Not that sister didn't try because she did but nothing seemed to work and that's when we called in the big guns aka Animal Control. As one loyal commenter posted, animal control too suggested we turn the hose on them. I for one was more than happy to do it. With the spray nozzle in my hand I turned the dial to full power. Hasta La Vista! It was sheer pleasure watching the cats jump and screech their way off the patio and run away. Seriously, those damn cats didn't know what hit them. I'm not too sure where they went but needless to say I was glad they were gone.

THE MORNING AFTER

I open up the patio blinds and quoting a line from Poltergeist II I said to sister, "They're baaack!"

Apparently those damn cats didn’t seem to take a hint and not only that but they decided to get revenge on us by, well how do I explain this delicately? You know what? Forget that. There’s no delicate way around it. I’m just going to say it, those damn cats pooped and p*ssed all over the patio! Who do these damn cats think they are? Don’t they know I’m at the top of the food chain? I put in another call to Animal Control who suggested we turn the hose on them again. I explained that we had tried that already.

ME: It’s not working, they returned. What are we suppose to do, leave the sprinklers on 24/7?

I then questioned animal control why it wasn't possible for someone to come by and just pick up the damn cats? If you’re wondering why I keep referring to the cats as ‘those damn cats,’ it’s because that’s what I’ve decided to call the pesky furballs. Brilliant I know.

Their response?

ANIMAL CONTROL: All we can do is put your name on a waiting list.

Me: A waiting list? Just exactly how many other people are having this same problem?

ANIMAL CONTROL: Oh you'd be surprised.

ME: What is the point of you guys then? Aren’t you in the business of controlling animals?

ANIMAL CONTROL: We only make immediate house calls if there happens to be an endangered species at risk.

Me: Endangered species? So like if someone reported a Bengal tiger was pinned underneath their car animal control would respond right away?

ANIMAL CONTROL: Yes, that would be a good example.

ME: Let me ask you a question-- how many calls do you receive from people on average per day in this region reporting an endangered species at risk on their property or for that matter how many calls do you get about a Bengal tiger running around in their neighborhood?

ANIMAL CONTROL: It’s possible. 

ME: Really? I had no idea tigers were known to roam around Canada. You think they're friends with Tony the Tiger?

ANIMAL CONTROL: A tiger could always escape from the zoo and wreck havoc in a neighborhood.

To Be Continued.

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My loyal and dear readers, it's finally Friday.

Whatever your plans are have a fantastic weekend.~x

XOXOXOXO,

Cocaine Princess

Hello Baby!

****Updated, Wednesday July 24th: The little Prince has a name, Prince George Alexander Louis****

Cocaine Princess here.

The newest little Royal has arrived.

The future King entered into the world today at 4:24pm weighing 8lbs 6oz making him third in line to the throne and bumping Prince Harry down to fourth. 

"Somewhere around 352,500 new humans were born Monday on Earth — 2,000 in the U.K alone — but the birth of this one boy was marked with gathered crowds, live coverage, bold international headlines and special silver pennies."

Congratulations.

I'm sure Princess Diana is smiling....

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

Work Hard, Play Hard

Cocaine Princess here.

*Sigh* It's been one of those weeks where I didn't know whether I was coming or going. What a long and busy week but as they say, Work Hard, Play Hard. Since the weekend is here, it's time to play hard!

I'll try to post an entry mid week but if not you're going to have to wait until next Friday for one of my awesome entries which I know you have all come to love, right?

We've been experiencing a heatwave up here. For the past few days temperatures have hit +43C. I for one absolutely love that blast of hot, scorching air. Hey, it's 10x better than that blast of Arctic air that plagues us from November to April. It's really cute when I see the little ones in the neighborhood running around with only a smile on their faces in this heat. Oh to be able to do that as an adult.

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 My loyal and dear readers, Halleluiah it's finally Friday!!

Whatever your plans are have a supreme weekend. ~x

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

"They’re Cats Darling, Not A Den Of Lions"

Cocaine Princess here.

Why can't all cats be like Garfield? Fat, orange, lazy and eat lasagna?

Last week a black cat was lurking around our backyard in particular on our patio. For the first few days it remained curled under one of the lounge chairs and when it wasn't doing that it would just roam around the patio as if it was on patio patrol duty.
 
SISTER: Once it realizes we're not going to feed her she'll leave on her own.

ME: That cat bothers me. All it does is stare at me with its' evil looking eyes.

SISTER: Did it ever occur to you that if you didn't keep staring at her she wouldn't stare back at you?

Hmm, I suppose she had a point.

Each morning when I enter into the kitchen the first thing I do (after turning on the lights) is open the patio door blinds to allow the glorious sunshine to come beaming in. Earlier in the week when I opened the blinds to my disguist not only was that black cat still there but she had brought along company, 2 kittens. And before you start saying, aww, how cute, let me tell you right now there's nothing cute or even remotely adorable about these evil balls of fur. They're vicious and all three are under the impression our patio is their new place of residence. So much for them leaving on their own! The other day I opened the patio doors and before my pedicured foot reached the ground the ring leader of this feline gang (mama cat) jumped down from the lounge chair and hissed very loudly at me, and if that wasn't bad enough it raised one of its' ugly paws and showed me her claws. It went into complete attack mode. Who the hell did this cat think she was?! Sheesh! I called the cat's bluff. I stepped onto my patio and while waving my arms I told it to go away. Well, that just made matters worse. Her two gang members decided to join in on the action. They all began inching closer to me. The mama cat began hissing even louder as it continued to show me her claws. I did what any sane person would have done. I went back inside shutting the doors behind me. Oh this was far from over. I went outside and decided to approach them from the patio steps where to my surprise the cat was already positoned on the top step. I can't believe that damn cat outsmarted me.

I gave sister the 411.

SISTER: What do you mean they're not letting you onto the patio?

ME: Each time I try they either block the entrance, hiss or they threaten me by showing their claws. All three are ganging up on me.

Sister laughed.

SISTER: They’re cats darling, not a den of lions. You do know the difference, right?

ME: Yes! Just go see for yourself.

SISTER: Fine, I will right now.

I followed her into the kitchen........and then outside.

The exact same thing those cats did to me, they did to sister.

ME: I told you so.

I’m not going to lie, it felt good saying I told you so to sister. Believe me, it’s not often that I’m able to.

To Be Continued...

I know you’re dying to read more but I’ve had a long few days and all I want to do now is close my eyes and blast some euro-tunes.

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My loyal and dear readers, it’s finally Friday.

Whatever your plans are have a sweet weekend. ~x

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

"Our Perkiness Should Not Be Hidden"

Cocaine Princess here.

I know what you're thinking, the Princess posted an entry and it isn't even Friday. What a special treat! I have a good reason for it--

Today is National No Bra Day. 

Oh yeah, such a day really exists. According to the website, 

"Ladies, free your breasts for 24 hours by removing those dreadful (but at times oh-so-helpful) bras. Our perkiness should not be hidden. It is time that the world see what we were blessed with. Your breasts might be colossal, adorable, miniature, full, jiggly, fancy, sensitive, glistening, bouncy, smooth, tender, still blossoming, rosy, plump, fun, silky, Jello-like, fierce, jolly, nice, naughty, cuddly… But the most used word to describe your breasts on July 9th should be FREE."

Regardless of how comfortable the bra might be, after a loooong day there's no better feeling than unhooking that bra, flinging it to one side and freeing those puppies from their cages....Hmm, unless it's having your guy take it off for you. Most definitely an ahhh moment.

By the way, here's the bra I would have worn today. Isn't it pretty?

Happy National No Bra Day!!

Release the hounds!

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess


 

Brave Or Insane?

 

Cocaine Princess here.

I hope you're all enjoying the long patriotic weekend. I've had a busy week so unfortunately no fabulous Friday entry from me, you'll have to wait until next week. My deepest apologies.

In the meantime check this out: An individual  by the name of Jon Rice started "The Darth Valley Challenge" a personal challenge he set himself to run a mile through Death Valley at the height of its heat, all the while dressed as everyone's favorite galactic villain, Darth Vader. The most recent challenge took place on June 30th when the National Weather Service recorded a temperature of 129 degrees. Jon made the mile run in 6 minutes and 36 seconds. Now, in its fourth year, the challenge this year also had the goal of setting a new Guinness World Record for hottest verified run.

Let's look at the health risks of running in extreme heat: dehydration, heatstroke, heart attack, lung-busting, leg knack, chapped lips, death, death, more death and getting a purple face. I myself go for a daily morning run but if it's raining or if the weather is too hot, cold, icy or foggy it's the treadmill for me, meanwhile Darth Vader is running through what must feel like being dropped into a volcano!! Sheesh! It's without a doubt quite an achievement and I applaud him but what do you think--- is he brave or just insane?

Here's the video of Jon running in Darth Valley. Hmm, perhaps this is how Luke's father manages to stay in shape.

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My loyal and dear readers, it's finally Friday. 

Whatever your plans are have a spectacular 1st week of July.~x

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess