DON'T F**K WITH THE COLOMBIANS!!!!!

I woke up today at 11am. OMG! I usually get up at 6am. So I went downstairs and found Valentina talking to one of the household staff. 'Buenos Dias mi amor,' Valentina said and then gave me a big hug. I asked her why she didn't wake me up. Valentina explained that when she went into check on me I was sleeping so peacefully that she didn't want to disturb me. I was kind of glad she didn't because I slept so good. It could be the environment or maybe I have finally learned to relax, but for how long?

In the afternoon we decided to go shopping for jewelery. You can never be too thin nor can you have too much jewelery. As luck would have it a group of US tourists were there. What is it with senior citizens and their wardrobe especially when they're vacationing? The men wear knee length bermuda shorts, either black or navy blue with a white belt and socks with sandals and their wives always wear floral printed capris and t-shirts and sunvisors. Stores can spot a tourist a mile away and when it comes to jewelery stores, when they know you are a tourist they jack up their prices and you wind up paying the sucker price. Anyways in one of the jewelery stores as the sales associate was ringing in my order one of the women from the tourist group started talking about me and Valentina to the others. She said, the girl with the tattoo just bought four hundred thousand dollars worth of jewelery and the other one spent five hundred thousand. I'm presuming she must have thought we didn't speak or understand english because she wasn't whispering to the others. Valentina said it was because they were all hard of hearing.
We were shopping in the new city and I saw a familiar hotel. I can't tell you which one but a few years ago my mom held my birthday party there. Downstairs in the restaurant is where my party was taking place while upstairs there was a wedding reception. At one point this cute little girl a bridesmaid dressed in a pink colored dress with a silver sash and silver ribbons in her hair came downstairs. I had a bouquet of balloons and asked if she could have one? I of course said yes and soon 10 little bridesmaids dressed alike followed wanting balloons. Luckily I had enough.
The next morning the hotel was crawling with US Naval officers and the local police. A US NAVAL officer's body was found. He had been staying in the hotel with his girlfriend for a weekend get-away whose body was also found next to his. The US Navy released a statement saying it was a murder suicide and that his friends had stated he was having relationship problems and his girlfriend wanted to spend some time apart but he didn't want her leaving him. My golden, little birdie told me the truth. The US Naval officer had been working for the Cartel smuggling drugs. The Navy somehow found out and instead of pressing charges they made him a deal: tell us everything you know, who you're working for etc. and we'll drop the charges. The Cartel found out, they aways do and decided to shut him up before he could say anything. The US Navy comes up with this bull-s**t story about a murder-suicide. How embarrassing it would be for them if the truth ever came out. A decorated US Navy officer involved in the Drug Cartel.
There's a lesson to be learned here boys and girls:

DON'T F**K WITH THE COLOMBIANS!!!!!

I have so much to tell you but it's getting late. Keep reading my blogs you won't believe what I have to tell you. Valentina is here with me with a bowl of cheese flavored popcorn. Good grief, with all the fatty foods I've been eating I'm going to have to swim back home to burn off the fat.

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess.