The White Party

Cocaine Princess here.

Valentina called me yesterday afternoon. The two of us decided to go through the White Party invitations together. She and I are both on the same invite list. The best ones already took place during my unfortunate days of confinement. When she called I wasn't paying much attention. She was talking but I just kept on using words like yeah, really, mmm-hmm etc. She took notice. 'Are you there or not?' she asked. 'Yes I'm here. I'm sorry I'm just a little distracted,' I explained. 'With what?' 'TV, I'm watching a movie.' 'Let me guess..' 'No not that one,' I said. '30 Days Of Night.' 'I saw that one. The vampires aren't so scary as is the weather. Can you imagine living with all that yucky snow, cold and darkness?' Sometimes I think Valentina forgets where I live.
'Unless there's a freakish shift in the weather, come mid October to March it'll be nothing but cold and snow with the sun setting by 5:30,' I replied. 'Still hot up there isn't it?' 'High 30s' all week.' 'It's been hot here too but a little soggy. So....where is she?' 'Who?' I asked. 'That other person who lives with you,' she answered. 'I'm assume you're referring to A?' 'Yeah her. Now that she's no longer your prison guard what has she been up to?' 'She's at work, it's back to school,' I replied. There was a huge sigh of relief from Valentina. 'That's why I've been hearing church bells. It's September, Hallelujah! Thank God! I was so worried for you.' 'Worried, why?' 'Because I was afraid with her being constantly around you during the holidays her personality and attitude would rub off on you,' she said back. 'If I haven't changed after all these years do you really think I will now?' I asked. 'What if she slips you something?' Valentina questioned. 'Like what, some personality-altering drug? I hang around her and she hasn't changed. My personality and attitude hasn't rubbed off on her.' 'I suppose,' she mumbled. One thing that can be said about Valentina, she has a hard time letting things go, in particular her theory about A being switched at birth. 'I still don't believe she's your biological sister.' 'Not this....' I was about to say not this again but she cut me off mid sentence. 'Just say the word and I'll do a little snooping around daddy's office.' 'And what on earth do you think you'll find there?' I questioned. 'Something that will prove she's not related to you,' she answered. 'I have a new theory about A. It came to me a few days ago.' I put down the receiver and counted to 20 and then put the phone back to my ear hoping she would be finished. She was still rambling on about something. I counted to 50 and she was still talking. It wasn't until I hit the high 100s she was finished and ended with these words, one day my theory will be proven right.' 'Then I give you permission now to say 'I told you so.' Even though I had no idea what her latest theory was. 'If you want to prove me wrong just have her take a DNA test.' 'I can't ask her to do that,' I stated. 'When she's sleeping swab the inside of her mouth and send it to a lab.' I laughed for a couple of seconds and said, 'this isn't CSI '. 'Alright fine if you don't want to listen to me you don't have to. But just know the person you believe is your sister is really a stranger.' 'And I've bonded quite well with the stranger Valentina,' I said. 'Now let's get back to the invitations.'

We divided them all into three separate piles according to attire.

1) Casual White

2) Dressy White

3) White Tie & Diamonds

Had I RSVP'ed yes to all the invitations, my calendar would have been fully booked from July to September. 'The Casual White you know what to do with those. We toss'em,' Valentina and I said at the same time. Those parties are such a drag in more ways than one. The Dressy White parties, the ones I have attended in the past haven't been all that bad. My absolute favorite if you haven't already guessed it, White Tie & Diamonds. It's non stop party action with so much glitz and glamor. There were five in total. The dates of the party were spaced out quite well. There was a problem awhile back when two people held their annual White Party on the same day. Both refused to change their dates saying it was impossible for either of them to reschedule. (Who said the wealthy don't have problems? The parties were a complete flop. No one hardly showed because no one wanted to take sides. Now all the party planners get together and negotiate on the dates. Everyone seems to want mid July or Labor Day long weekend)
One invite was in the Hampton's. I attended one there two summers ago, it wasn't really my scene. Among the five invitations was a very familiar name. 'Oh God. Bug Spray's Annual White Tie & Diamonds Party,' groaned Valentina. (I refer to her as The Host because in the circle she is the grand dame of throwing and hosting parties and soirées. In case you forgot Valentina calls her Bug Spray because of the scent of the perfume she always and only wears is similar to insect repellent. Who am I kidding? It's not similar. It's smells exactly like a can of Raid) 'I called her up and said I was sorry but would not be able to attend. She first thought the reason was perhaps whose-name-shall-not-be-mentioned was going to be there. The Host assured me he wasn't invited. I told her the real reason.' 'What did she say then?' 'She felt bad I was sick and sent me a beautiful arrangement of orchids and some other things,' I answered. 'Where did you place her orchids?' Valentina curiously asked. 'On the table in the foyer.' 'Why aren't the ones daddy sent you in the foyer?' 'Because the ones daddy sent me are in my bedroom,' I said. The other Princess was not pleased. 'Move Bug Spray's orchids into some other room in the house and put daddy's orchids in her place.' 'Valentina the poor woman has a name,' I stated. 'Yeah I know Bug Spray. Just please move them,' she said. I couldn't understand what difference it made where I kept the flowers. After she pleaded a couple of times with me I told her I would.....But I have yet to move them. Bug Spray's, err, I mean The Host, the orchids she sent are an incredible mixture of colors matching perfectly with the decor.

Awhile back The Host held her annual white party in Palm Beach. I love Palm Beach, how can I not? Insane shopping on Worth Avenue and at The Esplanade, the spectacular spa at The Breakers Hotel. ....

As much as I love Palm Beach at the same time it is a bizarre little town. When I say bizarre I mean in a twilight zone kind of way.

To be Continued....

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess