Traffic Court : 'Would You Like For Me To Bring You A Cocktail?'

Cocaine Princess here.

Oh God I was next. The frosty female looked right into my eyes. If she suspended Mr. Etiquette's license for driving without a seat belt, she was surely not only going to suspend my license but she was going to slaughter me like a lamb for speeding and running a stop sign.

I'm doomed.

She opened up the folder, looked it over and then stared at me in a kind of way where you get goosebumps and proceeded with the questions.

Female Officer:
You were stopped for speeding, doing 80km in a 60km zone.

I nodded yes.

Why were you speeding? Were you in a hurry?

Me:
No. I thought I was doing the limit. I didn't see the speed
post sign had changed otherwise I would have slowed
down.

She looked at the file again.

Female Officer:
You didn't see the sign? According to the optometrist your eyes
are in good working order. Your second traffic offense, running
a stop sign. Did you not see that?

Me:
My mind was sort of elsewhere.

Female Officer:
Your mind should have been on the road.

(I explained the day I ran the stop sign
was the day my sister was hospitalized)

Female Officer:
The local hospital made initial contact with you.

Me:
Yes.

Female Officer:
What did they tell you?

Me:
All they said, your sister's been admitted to the
emergency room and you need to come right away.

Female Officer:
If you don't mind me asking, what happened?

Me:
My sister broke her ankle at work.

Female Officer:
And you weren't told that information over the phone?

Me:
No.

Female Officer:
Is that when you ran the stop sign, on your way to
the hospital?

Me:
No I ran it when I was coming back from XXXX Hospital.

Female Officer:
I asked if the initial call came from the local hospital, you
said yes. Why were you coming back from XXXX Hospital?

Me:
She was admitted to the local hospital first. When I arrived
I was informed no one by that name had been admitted. I
told them know I received a phone call telling me she had
been admitted. I thought someone was playing a prank on
me. They did some checking and found out she was there
but was transferred to the other hospital to undergo some
more tests.

Female Officer:
Why didn't they just tell you she was at XXXX Hospital?

Me:
I asked that question. No one at the local hospital
could give me an answer so I just left.

Female Officer:
You drove to the other hospital, located your sister
thankfully with non life threatening injuries and on the
way home you ran the stop sign.

Me:
Yes.

Female Officer:
You obviously were in a distress mode and your
emotions were running high. You could have gotten
into an accident yourself. The smart thing would
have been to call a cab or a friend and have them
drive you.

She closed the file and folded her hands on top.

Female Officer
You're free to go.

I looked at her for a few seconds and it took a second to register.

Me
I still have my license?

Female Officer
Yes. Just pay attention and follow the rules of the road.

Me:
Thank you.

And just like that the ton of bricks that had been on my shoulders all day long was lifted. I was surprised. After listening to the officer speak to Mr. Etiquette I was more than positive she would suspend my license. She may have had a frosty attitude but I'm grateful and thankful towards her decision. The entire ordeal lasted under 10 minutes. I went back into the waiting room to A. I put on a sad face. 'Oh dear, what happened?' she asked. I didn’t respond. I only let out a miserable sigh. ‘It couldn’t have been all that bad. I don’t see any bruises on you and I didn’t hear you scream.' ‘There was a really mean and brawny looking female officer who grilled me like a piece of BBQ meat,' I said. 'Did you at least get a chance to tell your side?' 'Yes. She said she wasn't interested in hearing my excuses and decided to suspend my license,' I replied. 'I'm not allowed to drive for 30 days.' A noticed a little smile on my face and knew I was lying. ‘They didn't suspend your license.' 'You're right, they didn't.' 'So what happened?’ ‘The officer asked me about both incidents. I answered truthfully and the next thing she said, you're free to go and some stuff about following the rules of the road,’ I replied.

I still couldn't believe how quick it all went. The worst part of it all was the waiting.

After our grand voyage to the courthouse we stopped off at the nearby shopping mall for a celebration meal but not before completing one very important mission.

The inside of the mall was scorching hot. The thermostat was set at a very uncomfortable high temperature. I'm never one to protest about the heat. I welcome it with open arms but when you're wearing a sweater dress, winter boots and lugging around a winter coat, hat, gloves and your handbag in the indoors it's a problem.

So what was the one very important mission? Replacing the bra that malfunctioned on me. I headed into one of the lingerie stores, found a few I liked and tried them on.

I was in the change room sitting on a nice padded and comfy seat and the first thing I did was remove my boots. My feet were tender and sore from being in them for so many hours. I'm barefoot in the house at all times, and stiletto sandals, well I can wear those all day outside but not boots. With my feet free I wiggled them around and at last took care of my itchy foot.

‘A’ was seated on the bench directly outside of the room. She poked her head through the chenille curtains to see if I was alright. 'What are you doing?' she asked. 'I'm cooling off,' I said back. I had my boots off, my dress was rolled down to my waist, I was wearing the bra I had tried on and on top of all that I was fanning myself. The dressing room was quite lovely. It was wallpapered completely in pretty flowers and chubby cherubs and filled with an aromatic scent. 'Would you like for me to bring you a cocktail while you cool off?' she asked. 'If I was allowed to walk around the mall like this I would.' 'You already have two traffic violations on record why not add a third, indecent exposure to your rap sheet.’ Then it happened once more, the giggles. I was just having one of those giggling type of days.

Because of the holiday season the mall was crammed and the food court was no exception and there’s always an added bonus this time of year; listening to live holiday music while you eat. An assembly of tuba players and an individual banging the cymbals all dressed as toy soldiers were delighting people with instrumental versions of classic Christmas carols. As thunderous as a sound they made they were no match for the sounds of Guitar Hero. Not too far down from them was a Guitar Hero demonstration area where all these kids were giving it a go and in the middle of all this was Jolly St. Nick's Workshop.

Finding a place to sit was an exciting activity. We prowled around trying to locate a free table. No luck. Then we stood with the other shoppers to one side watching like a bunch of hungry hawks which shoppers were almost done with their meals. My sister observed a table. 'Look,' she said and I did. An individual was sitting at a table for 2 and was finishing up his lunch. He picked up his napkin to wipe his mouth and then crunched it up in a little ball with his hands and threw it on the tray and took one last slurp from his drink before getting up. 'Go, I'll catch up,' said A.

With my winter belongs in hand including my sister's I made a mad dash towards the table and claimed it by putting down my bag! It was a small bistro size table, right near the tuba players. My sister eventually arrived at the table. 'What’s your stomach in the mood for?' I asked practically shouting. She looked around at the choices, NY Fries, Burger King, Bourbon St. Grill, Opa!, Taco Bell/KFC, Manchu Wok, Mrs. Vanelli's and Mr. Sub. 'I feel like Chinese,' she replied. 'You know what? So do I,' I said back. I honestly did. The last time I ate some was back in the spring during my trek to China Town.

As my place in line was nearing the counter I realized I failed to ask what 'A' wanted. I knew she wanted Chinese. I didn't know what precise items she wanted. I wasn't about to leave and lose my place in line to find out. My phone was in my bag and my bag was back at the table so I couldn't call her. I ordered her the same combo platter as I did. She had no complaints. When I returned to the table with our meals the tuba players decided to take a break except for the lone musician on cymbals. In place of the tuba players a choir arrived singing Joy to the World with Mr. Cymbals accompanying them.

Even though there were 5, count them 5 superb dining restaurants including one inside the mall and the others across the street where patrons are taken to their tables and given menus, I didn't mind waiting 35 minutes in line to be served. I didn't mind being elbowed or having someone's large sized shopping bag hitting my shoulder every two minutes nor did I mind having my toes being stepped on by tense holiday shoppers. Well I did mind that.

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A year ago Valentina had seen the film 'The Holiday' with Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet and Jude Law and recommended I see it. I bought the DVD but never bothered watching it until last night. (It was still in the plastic wrapper) I loved it. For those who have seen the film you know Kate and Cameron's characters are two complete strangers living on opposite sides of the world and decide to exchange houses for the Christmas holidays.

I can't imagine switching houses with a completely unfamiliar person. I went online to see if such a thing exists, people exchanging houses and what do you know, there is. I couldn't believe how many people from the city near where I live are on an 'exchange house website.' Most all of them want to swap homes with people living in tropical climates. That I believe.

It's finally Friday.
My loyal readers have a good weekend.

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess