"Take Your Pick, Darling"

Cocaine Princess here.

I have a painful sore throat. You know that kind feels like a match is lit inside? I made the tiny error of telling 'A' about it who gave me the whole song and dance speech about how I never listen to her which I will get to momentarily.

Yesterday 'A' and I went into the city. Her health card was up for renewal so it was something that needed to be done. The office opened at 8am. We left pretty early under the impression the sooner we arrived the sooner we would get out. As we were leaving the house my sister suggested we grab breakie on the go. I declined. I declined because it was excruciatingly painful to swallow my own saliva so how was I going to be able to get a hot breakfast down my throat? When she said I could choose the place to eat and I still said no she became a tad suspicious. I could tell by the look on her face but she didn't say a word.

MORNING RUSH HOUR

While waiting for traffic to move I opened my purse and started rummaging inside.

'What are you looking for?' she questioned

'A Sucrets,' I replied.

(Oh snap! I immediately answered without thinking. Why didn't I say a piece of gum or candy? Anything but that!)

'Why-what's a matter?'

'Nothing my throat is just dry.'

She opened up her purse and pulled out a bottle of water. I told her I didn't want the water.

'I thought you said your throat is dry?' she asked.

'It is. I just don't want water,' I said back.

'What's going on with you?'

(Oh Lord she's on to me. I decided to play it cool or I was never going to hear the end of it)

'Nothing,' I answered.

'First you declined breakfast, you said your throat is dry so I offer you water and you decline that......You look pale.'

'I look pale because I'm not wearing bronzer on my cheeks,' I explained.

She put the back of her hand on my forehead and said,

'You're hot.'

'Thank you and so are you in that outfit', I said back with a giggle.

(It even hurt to giggle)

'That's not what I mean. You feel hot.'

'The heat is on and it's blowing in my face so yeah my face is going to be a little warm.'

'Why did you want a Sucrets I haven't heard you coughing....It's your throat isn't it?'

'No Miss Agatha Christie, there’s nothing wrong with my throat.'

'Look at me and say that and then I will believe you.'

'And divert my attention from the road? I don't think so. I already have 2 traffic violations. One more and my license is going to be automatically suspended, so let me please pay attention.'

(I figured that would keep her quiet. I was wrong)

'Traffic hasn't moved in nearly 10 minutes so answer the question.'

(I decided to come clean)

'Fine. I'll tell you. I have a sore throat. You happy now?'

'No I'm not happy you have a sore throat. I just have one question.'

Here it comes.

'Why do you choose not to listen to me?'

Told you.

'I do too listen to you. I just choose not to listen to your advice sometimes,' I stated.

'How about all the time? I told you, you weren't fully recovered from the flu. Did I not say that?'

'I recall you saying something but whether it was those exact words, well that’s all up for debate.'

(I turned up the radio to drown her out. Can you believe she turned it off?)

'Child what is the matter with you? Why do you do this to me?'

'You honestly think I gave myself a sore throat on purpose?' I asked trying not to laugh but I did and it was more painful than the giggle.

'Sometimes I think your sole mission in life is to raise my blood pressure and if so mission accomplished....'

Then she said something else but at that point I just tuned her out and was seriously considering leaving her on the side of the road. She had her cell phone so I knew she would be okay but unfortunately I was in the center lane and traffic was bumper to bumper so I couldn't exactly change lanes.

EVERYONE HAD THE SAME IDEA

When we finally arrived and entered into the building I noticed a little convenience store and was able to buy a packet of Sucrets.

Remember how we left early so we could leave early?

It appeared everyone had that same idea. There must have been over 100 people in line. This line wasn’t the line to renew your card. It was the line to pick up your number at the desk. One would think this line would move quickly, you grab your ticket, take a seat and then wait for your number to be called. Sitting at the desk were two employees who gave you your number only after they made sure you brought along the proper documentation. And of course there were those who waited and waited and didn’t so they had to come back.

I kept staring at the clock on the wall which I shouldn’t have done since it only made the time go slower. It took my sister 40 minutes to be given her number. Once we found a seat a minute hadn’t even gone by when she took out her Sudoku puzzle book. I let out a little groan.

‘What’s the matter darling?’ she asked.

You and Sudoku. That’s what’s the matter. I replied. Do you have to do that? Can’t you read a magazine?

‘I can either do this or I can give you a speech about how February is the peak season of influenza. Take your pick darling.’

'Sudoku away,' I said back opening my magazine.

20 MINUTES LATER

‘How’s your throat?’

I just shrugged my shoulders.

‘Darling I don’t know what that means.’

‘It’s so-so,’ I stated.

‘We’ll get something stronger at the pharmacy when we go to the mall.’

(Did I mention the building was in the same parking lot as the mall?)

‘Really? We get to go to the mall after? You’re not going to bully me into driving back home because I’m sick?’

‘Are you sick?’ she said in a panic while touching my forehead.

‘Good lord quit touching my forehead. You keep messing up my bangs,’ I said taking out my compact.

‘I took the entire day off and since we’re in the city we might as well and I know you want to.’

(Of course I did!)

‘Just so you know I’m putting you on notice. If your throat doesn’t get better within 3 days you’re going to the doctor’s.’

I looked up at her.

‘3 days? You’re actually giving me a deadline?’

‘Read the back of the Sucrets packet,’ she stated.

After putting away my compact I took them out from my pocket and read the back.

Well? she asked.

‘It’s a list of medical ingredients that I can’t pronounce,’ I replied.

‘Keep on reading....’

‘Take one every two hours. Maximum 4 per day, do not exceed.’

‘And?.........’

‘If sore throat persists longer than 3 days consult physician. Satisfied Miss Know-It-All?'

‘More than you know darling,' she answered.

2 HOURS LATER

We live approximately 25-30 minutes outside of the city but with morning rush hour it took us 1hr 35 min.

A 40 minute wait for ‘A’ to pick up her ticket number.

2 hours to wait for her number to be called.

The amount of time it took for her to actually renew her card at the counter? Under 10 minutes. Thank God it’s only once every 4 years.

LUNCH

We lunched at Johnny Rockets inside the mall and just my luck because the one time I did feel like actually eating a meal I couldn’t. I ordered a cold, frosty milkshake. It was a relief and a joy for my burning throat. I told my sister how I had thoughts of leaving her on the side of the road.

'You would have actually done that?' she questioned.

'It’s not like you would have been stranded. I’m sure some lonesome trucker would have driven by and been more than happy to pick you up. Then you could have lectured him on the dangers of picking up hitch-hikers.'

'You don’t enjoy my lectures?' she asked.

'I’d rather spend another day traffic court. Have you ever heard me once give you a lecture?' I asked back.

'No and that’s because I don’t need lecturing.'

HELL'S KITCHEN

Last night was another exciting episode of Hell’s Kitchen.

After only given 3 hours of sleep both teams were awoken by the sound of a cow bell and were whisked off to an undisclosed location. Upon arrival each chef was given overalls to wear and were each handed a vomit bag. They had been taken to a meat processing plant to learn about the different cuts of beef. When they returned back to Hell’s Kitchen in the middle of the dining room were two fake life size cows, Bessie and Jellybean. Each team had to identify the different cuts of meat on the table and then locate the parts on the fake cows. The red team (the women) lost this week’s challenge again. Ramsay called their performance ‘pathetic.’ The men were awarded with a wine tasting trip and dinner.

The theme of the episode was a Steakhouse. There were two seatings. One team would cook while the other took and served the orders and then after two hours the teams would switch. The blue team cooked in the first half. One chef’s cloth got on fire. Another chef prepared the desserts before the appetizers were even served. Ramsay asked if he was stupid or if he had been sniffing or drinking anything? Many of the steaks that had been prepared by a contestant who is an executive chef at a steakhouse were sent back by the customers because they were uncooked.

Lacey (from the red team) who was taking orders forgot a table and Ramsay made a Britney Spears reference or insult at her which I didn’t quite understand. After two hours the teams switched. Contestant Colleen had trouble remembering how many salads she had to make. Ramsay dropped the F-word at her by calling her F-pathetic. She agreed. Ramsay then commented back by saying she wasn’t normal. The orders for Caesar Shrimp Salad were not being sent out on time because the shrimp was still uncooked while contestant chef Charlie from the blue team who was a waiter for the night spilled food on a customer.

The winning team was decided by how many entrees were served. This week the blue team lost. The team decided the two weakest were Charlie and Seth. Ramsay choose Charlie because he couldn’t see or feel his passion for cooking.

The teams now- Blue:13 men Red: 12 women

My loyal and dear readers it's finally F-R-I-D-A-Y!

Everyone have a super weekend!

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

P.S.

'I’d rather spend another day traffic court’

Lord, I take that back.