Part 2: "If Only I Had A Squash Racket"

Cocaine Princess here.

Without any further delay I present part 2 of:  "If Only I Had A Squash Racket"

Before I begin I must warn you as I did in Part 1 {September 4th 2009 } this is a fascinating knock your socks off post.

Let's rewind:

......There were 4 cashiers and 4 lines. I stood in the 3rd line. I'm looking up at the menu board and I see the Angry Tender Crisp Chicken. It looked appealing so I decided to order the same. The cashier finished taking the customer's order in front of me and then moved to the left as he waited for his food to be brought out. The employee announced with a smile:

"Next please."

I stepped up to the counter.

"Welcome to Burger King. How may I take your order?"

I opened my mouth and was about to say: "I would like to order 2 Angry Chicken Combos, one with no mayo please."

I never got a chance too.

I never got a chance because a woman decided to cut in front of me from the other line to place her order. Seriously, like what the hell was going on?! Was I invisible or something? First somebody steals my table and now this! The cashier spoke:

"Excuse me mamn but I was taking this lady's order."

"Why should any of these customers be served first? I've been waiting in line longer. My order deserves to be taken first before any customer!" she said very loudly I might add. The kind of loud where passerby's will stop and stare and see what the commotion is. It was official my lovelies. I was in food court hell.

The woman standing behind me spoke:

"Who told you to wait in that line? You could have easily moved on over here."

"If you were all polite and not so ignorant you could have invited me to go ahead and let me take my order first!," the female jumper replied back, again quite loudly.

Hmm, I guess I wasn't invisible as I was ignorant and not polite. She continued.

"I'm hungry and I've had enough of waiting."

"We're all hungry. Why do you think we're here?," asked the customer who was waiting while chuckling.

"I'm hungrier than all of you."

As to what led her to believe she was more hungrier than the rest of us, I have no idea. The cashier refused to take her order and informed her she needed to wait her turn by getting back in line. Upon hearing that she began her lunatic ranting at not only at the poor cashier but also at the cashier who was serving her line and wanted, no, she demanded to know the reason why the line she was in wasn't moving fast. The manager appeared at that point and said the same thing: she had to wait her turn like everyone else. Refusing to budge she sprawled her arms across the counter and demanded her order be taken before anyone else.

I think it was safe to assume there was something slightly off about this woman because I really can't see any sane person behaving in this manner.

The manager gave into her demand of wanting to be fed first.

"What would you like to order mamn?"

And at that precise moment there was a wave of grumbling. The woman behind me tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around.

"Yes?"

"Idiot manager. He was wrong. Why would he do that?" she asked angrily by the way.

I shrugged my shoulders. I just stayed out of it.

"He was wrong," she muttered under her breath.

Maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. Anyways the woman who claimed was "so hungry" examined the menu board and said the following:

"I'm going to eat someplace else. You don't have what I want."

She left and went on over to Mr.Souvlaki where there were only 3 people in line and 1 cashier.

I do believe this is worth repeating:

I think it was safe to assume there was something slightly off about this woman because I really can't see any sane person behaving in this manner.

So finally I was able to place my order:

"I would like to order 2 Angry Chicken Combos, one with no mayo please. And 2 Cokes to drink."

As I went to pay I opened up my wallet which was buried underneath my car keys in my handbag. I took out my keys and placed them on the tray, paid the cashier, waited for my order and as soon as it was given to me I sat back down.

"What was going on up there?" my sister asked reaching for her chicken. Hers had a slash marked across the picture of mayo.

Letting out a sigh I replied,

"I wish I knew."

I said that because I was in no mood to explain and then I made it extremely clear to her that from now on she was going to be taking the orders and not me if we were ever going to be eating in the food court again. To be honest I don't even know why I agreed to go up in the first place.

"Let's just eat," I then said.

"A" noticed my keys on the tray.

"Darling put your keys in your purse," she said just before taking a bite.

"I will in a minute," I replied taking a sip from my drink.

"Eww. This isn't a Coke," I stated.

My sister took a sip from it.

"It's Root Beer."

"But I ordered a Coke, for both of us."

She then took a sip out of hers.

"Mine's a Coke. Switch with me if you don't want a Root Beer."

And without any hesitation I did. Even if she hadn't asked I would have grabbed her drink and let her have mine because one thing was for sure, I wasn't about to go back up to Burger King.

I do admit my meal was quite enjoyable. Probably not as enjoyable had we eaten at the place I wanted to.

While eating I turned around a couple of times glancing at Mr. Table Stealer. My sister noticed what I was doing.

"Stop that," she said.

"Stop what?" I innocently asked.

"Stop glaring at him."

"I'm not glaring. I was glancing."

I glanced at him again. He kept staring at his flipping cell phone while laughing.

"What can be so funny?" I questioned.

"Maybe one of his friends sent him a funny message," A said back.

"Yeah that must be it. I'm sure someone who goes around stealing tables is a much sought after friend. I bet when he gets invited to dinner parties he sits wherever he wants too ignoring the place card holder names. He probably steals the other guests dinner rolls when they're not looking and wipes his nose with his sleeve."

"Whether it's here or there what difference does it make where you're sitting?"

"It makes a big difference to me especially if you're going to force me to sit here {food court}. I'd like to be at least surrounded by nice scenery and that precise table is surrounded by nice scenery."

{There's an indoor man made pond and waterfall surrounded by lush artificial greenery near the table I was suppose to be sitting at. It's just a very serene thing to look at}

"Maybe next time you can call up the mall management and ask they reserve the table for you," said "A" laughing.

I didn't find what she said very funny.

"I upset you didn't I?"

"No you didn't upset me," I responded back.

"Then why are making a pudgy face?"

I quickly took out my compact to take a look.

"Liar. I am not making a pudgy face," I stated.

"You were seconds ago," she said back picking up the napkin to wipe her hands.

I finished my meal, crumpled up my wrapper into a round little ball and put it on the tray after taking one more sip from my drink. My sister picked up the tray and proceeded to head towards the trash. Can you see where this is going my lovelies? I stayed behind to touch up my lipstick and then got up.

We exited the food court area and proceeded out of the mall to the Sears parking lot. I unzipped my Louis Vuitton to retrieve my keys. I'm digging around and thinking to myself:

"Where are my keys?" followed very quickly by a silent Homer-Simpson "D'OH!" I realized I had left them on the tray and well....

I looked over at my sister. She was waiting for me to unlock the door.

Oh God I had to tell her. I couldn't not tell her. I was dreading it because I knew a lecture would follow. In particular the "You Never Listen To Me" lecture.

This was one time I wish I wasn't right.

"What did I say? I specifically told you to put your keys in your purse. Didn't I say that to you? I know I did because I was looking right at you. I wasn't talking to myself although sometimes it feels like I am. You never listen to me."

"Really? You're going to do this to me now, here?" I asked.

"You're right. I'll wait until we get home darling."

"You could have put them in your purse or you could you have checked the tray to make sure there was nothing but garbage on it," I said before sprinting back inside the mall. I informed one of the food court janitorial staff what happened.

The trash bag was in a locked bin and luckily it had not been taken out. The keys were not lying very deep and there was nothing too mucky nearby. The janitor with her spray bottle hanging from her front pant pocket sprayed my keys and then dried them for me.

So there you have it my lovelies the story of how my keys ended up in the trash can at BK. Did your socks get knocked off?

****

My loyal and dear readers it's finally Friday. I've had a pretty, long week so Hooray for Friday!!

It's the start of a brand new month and I'm  looking forward to it. We'll be celebrating Harvest time shortly and then Halloween! Candy! Candy! Candy!

Speaking of Harvest, the harvest wreath is on the door and Mr. Scarecrow is on the front porch surrounded by a variety of gourds. There are 2 sure signs up here that Fall has officially arrived: 

1}
The start of the NHL. And so the city's long standing feud with the Montréal Canadiens begins. The first game of the season was yesterday. I only know this exciting tidbit because it was front page news.


2}
Tim Hortons is selling their glazed pumpkin spiced donuts, sold only this time of year. I had a teeny bite the other day but Lord knows I wanted to gobble the whole thing.

Whatever your plans are have a spectacular weekend.-x

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess