Friday, December 17, 2010

Tis The Season....To Know What She Really Means



Cocaine Princess here.

I found this amusing article in the city's newspaper: "2010 Seasonal Spousal Translator" to help out husbands and boyfriends to decipher what their wives and girlfriends are really thinking during the most wonderful time of the year.

QUOTE NO. 1:
“Honey, have you seen the Scotch tape?” 
 WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS:
“Could you please go to the store and get me some.”

QUOTE NO. 2:
“Let’s not waste money on stuff neither of us need!”
WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS:
“All I really want is for you to organize the garage.”

QUOTE NO. 3:
“Your mother has kindly offered to make all the sides for dinner.”
WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS: 
“Why does your mother hate my cooking?”

QUOTE NO. 4:
Sweetheart, did you finish making your list?”
WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS: 
“If you think I’m going to the mall with you on Christmas Eve, you’re sadly mistaken.”

QUOTE NO. 5:
“Have fun at your office party” 
WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS: 
“Please don’t get drunk and tell your boss to do something that’s anatomically impossible!” 

QUOTE NO. 6:
“What was wrong with that parking spot I just pointed out?” 
WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS:
“If you insist on circling around for the next hour, please drop me off at the front entrance.”

QUOTE NO. 7:
“I agree, the tree does smell lovely.”
 WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS:
“Hurry up and secure this 9~foot balsam you selected in the stand that’s clearly too small. Seriously, I can’t hold this tree much longer. It feels like I’m slow dancing with a giant porcupine.”

QUOTE NO. 8:
“Darling, you don’t need to buy more lights. The outside of the house already looks fantastic!” 
WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS:
“This is a residential home, not a runway at LaGuardia.”

QUOTE NO. 9:
“Delicious! Did you follow a recipe when making these cookies with the kids?” 
WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS:
“I think I’m going to be violently ill!”

QUOTE NO. 10:
“I was thinking of getting a new star from Pottery Barn. Or we could use the angel again.”
 WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS:
“Over my dead body is your Tie Domi bobblehead going on top of the tree.”

QUOTE NO. 11:
“Is the car packed and ready to go?”
 WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS:
“Are you still watching that DVD of a burning log? We’re late!”

QUOTE NO. 12:
“You’re right, everybody does love a good steak! Great idea.” 
WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS:
“Am I really married to a man who just spent seven hours at the mall only to return with a ten dollar gift certificate to The Keg?”

QUOTE NO. 13:
“I love it! No, seriously! It’s perfect!”
 WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS:
“A waterproof radio? You don’t know me at all, do you?” 

****
Today's Christmas themed drinkie is in honor of a traditional holiday classic....

"The Grinch" 

"This green cocktail, called the Grinch, has none of the nasty elements of Dr. Seuss's classic holiday character. On the contrary, it's reminiscent of the changed Grinch with the sweetest flavors; melon-flavored Midori and lemon juice. It's all sweetened even further with a little simple syrup. Add a maraschino cherry for the garnish for color and to represent the changed heart of the green man."

INGREDIENTS:
* 2 oz Midori    
* 1/2 oz Lemon Juice    
* 1 tsp Simple Syrup
* Maraschino Cherry For Garnish

DIRECTIONS:
1. Pour the ingredients into a cocktail shaker with ice.
2. Shake well.
3. Strain into a chilled cocktail glass.
4. Garnish with a maraschino cherry.


****




My loyal and dear readers it's finally Friday. Hooray!!

Whatever your plans are have a darling weekend.~x

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess  



5 comments:

Bruce Johnson said...

The really sad comment here, is that I actually do have a DVD of a burning log. (hangs head in shame)

Cocaine Princess said...

Bruce,
If you can believe it there's actually a channel up here on satellite called "Yuletide."
24/7 until Boxing Day you can view logs burning in a fireplace as holiday music plays in the background.

Georg said...

Bonjour Princess,

Interesting reading this 2010 SST. But cultural disparities make it difficult to understand everything.

This burning log DVD, commented on by LotusBruce: what is going on here??

But I got and appreciated quotation N° 8.:

I am living in a village of 250 people. But progress and modernity is here, too. For Christmas decoration they are selling everywhere those long garlands with LED lights in different colors, flashing intermittingly. Thus, now, at night, we have several houses that really look like a 2nd class bordello in a red light district.

Cheers to you
Georg

Cocaine Princess said...

Bonjour Georg at 2:00,
To answer your question, it is a DVD of burnings logs in a fireplace which is intended for people who do not have a fireplace.

Anonymous said...

That drink looks fabulous!

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