Winter Vaycay: A Dog Named Gucci

Cocaine Princess here.

Every Christmas/winter holiday break I go on vaycay. Why? I prefer celebrating the most joyous of all holidays in the tropics rather than in the freezing cold temperatures that Mother Nature likes unleashing on us kind folks up here. The night before I departed I didn’t sleep a wink. I was so eager and excited to leave to the point I had butterflies in my stomach.  

Waiting for me at the airport with loving and open arms was who else? My best friend since childhood Valentina.  She was sporting a new haircut. So much for growing out her hair! She chopped it off and went for the pixie~style cut. It looked really adorable. Standing right behind her was good ole Semper~Fi. I wasn't too sure if he was happy to see me or not because of the emotionless look on his face. Come to think of it he always looks that way. At the same time Valentina had me in her anaconda-like cuddle she was giving me a rundown on what was in store for Winter Vaycay 2010~11. I can honestly say I wasn't paying attention. I was too busy with more important things like breathing in the hot air and feeling the sizzling sun's rays on my skin. Departing from a cold climate and arriving to a tropical climate is one heck of a fantastic thing!

A suite was booked for the both of us at a marvelous beach side resort.... an incredibly enormous suite because let's face it a standard room simply wasn't going to cut it for Valentina or for me either considering the number of pieces of luggage I brought along. The entire suite (like the resort itself) was filled with lavish Christmas decorations including a Christmas tree. My room was at the end of the hall and as I had requested– a balcony facing the beach. Down below were all the sun worshipers and not wanting to waste another minute I was ready to join them and get my tan on! Since I knew hitting the beach was the first thing on my list I made sure to pack my itty bitty bikini on top. I opened up my suitcase and went to go change. Hanging on the backside of the bathroom door was a big, fluffy, white bathrobe that every hotel has or as I like to call it The Polar Bear. I call it that because it’s how I feel when I wear it. After changing and applying sunblock I grabbed the polar bear {within 5 seconds of changing I was shivering on account of the a/c} and went back into my room where to my surprise was an unexpected visitor.

ME: Oh....hello there

The visitor failed to reply back. Allow me to describe the visitor: it had 4 legs and is commonly referred to as man’s best friend. If you guessed dog you are correct. If not, I’m speechless, truly I am. I figured he was one of the guard dogs {a Doberman} which I was perfectly fine with. Like I really had a choice on whether or not I wanted him, right? However, what I was not fine with was the four legged visitor was sitting inside my suitcase. When I say “inside”  I do mean inside {the cover of my suitcase was open} and I hadn't even unpacked yet. I ordered the dog to get out and off the bed. Instead of obeying he gave me a look that can best be described as “huh?” Hmm.....I thought perhaps maybe it only understood commands in English so I repeated what I had said in Spanish.

Once more I received the “huh?” look. My next thought-- could the dog be hard of hearing? To test whether or not he was I put my hands up to his ears and clapped not once, not twice but three times in a row. I’d be lying if I said the dog moved because he didn’t. So maybe the dog was deaf? I then snapped my fingers in front of his face hoping for some type of reaction. Nothing, not only did I not get the "huh" look but the thing didn't even flinch! Lastly, I poked it a couple of times hoping he would get the message I wanted him out.

He didn’t get the message. Oh boy, it was clear there was something definitely wrong with man’s best friend. I called Valentina for some help. My un-announced visitor was getting a little too comfortable as he began to nestle himself in my suitcase which in turn was making me feel extremely uncomfortable. The last thing I needed or wanted was doggie paws all over my precious clothes! I thought about luring him out with food from the mini bar but figured Valentina would know what to do. When I hollered for her she came in wearing a bikini with a cover up, sunglasses and in her hands she was holding 2 cocktail glasses. Just as this Princess was ready to get her tan on the other Princess was ready to get her drinkie on. 

I had one question:

ME: Seriously, what is wrong with this dog?

VALENTINA: So I see you’ve met Gucci-- quite possibly the world’s dumbest guard dog.

To Be Continued.

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My loyal and dear readers it’s finally Friday. You know what that means, right? Time to do your happy dance. ¡Olé!

Whatever your plans are have a terrific weekend.~x.

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess