Winter Vacay VI: My Date With The Oyster

Cocaine Princess here.

My lovelies the wait is over!

To review:

I couldn’t believe how quickly time went by. We must have sat on the shore for hours talking, laughing and giggling before venturing into the water. One of the things we love doing is jumping into the waves. It’s a totally fun thing to do and there was a bunch of us doing it, adults and kids. We all formed a line and held hands. Guess who decided to join in? Mr King Of The Beach. Valentina and I were in the middle holding hands with each other and beside us each were 2 teen girls. Speedo~Man went over on the left end where he held hands with a woman and said, “G'Day.”

Hmm....what do you know? I was wrong. He wasn't from Europe!!

VALENTINA: Of all the resorts in the world Crocodile Dundee has to stay at ours.

Part VI:

VALENTINA: Just a warning, if the waves knock his speedos off I may go blind.

The waves were rough but not rough enough to rip your bathing suit off. I was glad to be able to go into the water. Most of the places I’ve traveled to the beach water either had a severe under toe or in fact are rough enough to actually knock your swim suit off! Oh, in case any inquiring minds want to know, his speedos remained intact.

The next few days leading up to Christmas were spent sunbathing or shopping. I’m one of those type of vacationers that enjoys going shopping. Hey, we all have our ways of relaxing and shopping is one of mine.

Dinner

Every night at dinner the resort’s restaurant would have a different theme night. On one particular night the theme was Western. The waiters were all dressed in jeans, checkered shirts, a bandanna around their necks and cowboy hats sat on their heads. It was a hamburger and steak kind of night. Valentina and I were dressed to the nines and attending a BBQ isn't exactly what I would classify as fine dining but I had an enjoyable time. I was with my best friend in the tropics and not surrounded by a mountain of snow and bone chilling temperatures. The only thing I could have done without was the mariachi band that played on for hours. Bleech! I can't stand mariachi music. It's worse than nails on a chalkboard.


A few nights later some of our closest friends had flown in to meet up with us, and
on that night the restaurant’s theme: Seafood Delight, Buffet Style. Upon entering inside stood a statute of a wooden fisherman holding a net with several plastic animals tangled in it: fish, crabs, lobster and for some reason a sea~lion. Yeah, I found that a little weird too, which got me thinking- do people eat sea~lion meat? The waiters were dressed in pirate costumes and sadly there was no Captain Jack Sparrow. In the center of the dining room was a lovely ice sculpture of a mermaid and surrounding it on crushed ice was lobsters and a variety of fresh fish. The fish was so fresh I think I saw one still flopping around!

When we were seated at our table the waiter came right away to let us know the special of the night was seafood. I giggled a little because it was kind of obvious. Valentina on the other hand made a face that meant "duh, we know! She’s never been known to be the shy type and always says what’s on her mind but I was so thankful her mouth for those few minutes were on the mute button. Thanks Big~Guy, I owe you one. A mighty fine bottle of champagne was ordered and after we clinked our flutes and just as we were about to say Salud, Valentina said:

VALENTINA: Oh God, guess who’s here? Crocodile Dundee. Sound the trumpets.


With my glass still in mid air I turned around and yup it was him. He was still sporting those blinding gold chains and his hair was in a slick ponytail. As for what he wore: he donned an extremely colorful, silk floral printed shirt with the top 3 buttons open and black pants that had a thin sequin-material stripe running down the side of each leg. Wow! Talk about making a fashion statement! I kid you not all eyes were on this guy and just as he was on the beach he strutted proudly like a king! He followed the  hostess to a table for one.

ME: He’s dining alone.

VALENTINA: Are you really that surprised? 

She commented on his wardrobe:


VALENTINA: I think he's confused. It's seafood night, not disco night.


Our beloved friends had no idea what we were talking about so I gave them a quick bio about the hotel guest. After I told them one of our dear friends, and only to annoy Valentina, questioned whether or not he was still wearing his tight speedos under his pants? To further add salt I reminded her of “the wedgie.” To which she replied:

VALENTINA: It's your fault.

What?! How did Crocodile Dundee having a wedgie turn out to be my fault? I was dying to hear her answer. After a lengthy pause this was her brilliant response:


VALENTINA: We never would have seen it if we hadn’t come here. I wanted to stay at the villa.

Oh Lord, not this again!

Do you have any idea how traumatized I am by that vision?

Trust me, she ain’t the only one!


I understood Valentina’s point of view and there are pros and cons of staying at a private villa and a resort but luckily for me the others at the table agreed that staying at a huge resort for winter vaycay was definitely more fun. Of course Valentina still thought otherwise. She then requested {hmm, it wasn’t so much of a request as it was a demand} her cousin switch seats with her. Why? Crocodile Dundee was in direct view of her and she was afraid looking at him would spoil her appetite. He obliged of course because he knew, well we all knew if he hadn’t Valentina would have kept on complaining and none of us would have had any peace during dinner. 

Appetizers were brought consisting of all things that dwell in the water. The only item I recognized was the shrimp hanging off the side of the platter. I have no idea what the other items were other than they looked peculiar and creepy.

Like on every theme night you had the option of ordering from the menu which I did because I don't like seafood. The only food that appealed to me at the buffet was the salad until I was told it contained crab meat.


Enjoying a wonderful dinner {I had the chicken with stuffed bell peppers) I looked around to see what the others at the table were eating. Let’s just say I was surrounded by so much seafood I truly thought I was under the sea. The food was presented very nicely, something you’d see in a gourmet magazine but when I found out what they were actually eating, good grief if there was ever a night for me to vomit it would have been that night. Grilled octopus, eel soup, frog legs and something called a sea cucumber- which apparently is not a vegetable that grows underwater. I really don’t know how I managed not to vomit. Frog legs? All I kept on picturing was Kermit The Frog without his legs. Hmm, then again I suppose eating such items is an acquired taste, right?



Half-way through dinner I was dared to eat an oyster. Even now I’m still not sure why but stupid me without any hesitation said, “alright.” My only explanation is an entity possessed me for that brief moment, yeah that’s gotta be it. The only time I have ever eaten seafood was when I was little and then again in my teens. At a young age I was given fish to eat, you know the British style kind? Although it smelled delightful, I took one bite and spit it out. I swore then and there never to eat anything fishy~like again and I held onto that promise until age 14, when someone tricked me by giving me a potato pancake when it was really a crab cake. Laugh if you must but in my defense it really did look like a potato pancake! Valentina’s cousin {the one who had dared me} passed his plate over to me. I looked at it. Oh boy. The oyster was sitting on top of edible seaweed and covered in lemon juice.

Again, oh boy. I knew if I didn’t eat it I would never hear the end of it. I thought maybe I try a little negotiating:

ME: How about we pretend I ate it and call it a night. Sound, okay?

Evidently it wasn’t okay. To repeat, oh boy.

VALENTINA: Princess, you know what they say about oysters-- they make for a great aphrodisiac.

I suppose if I was dating someone it might come in handy but since I’m not, what’s the point? She continued:

VALENTINA: Make believe it’s your date and you’re about to devour him.

I stalled for several minutes.


VALENTINA: Come on, your date's waiting. Eat him!


Her choice of words was not helping me one bit. The only oysters I like are the ones that can give me pretty looking pearls. I had a feeling the oyster in front of me was not of the pearl kind. I had been taking little sips from my champagne throughout the night and I decided enough with the little sips. Time for a big gulp of the stuff. I was instructed on the count of 3 to eat it. One, two.........three!

So did I or didn't I? The answer?


Well........I first needed to ask a very important question:


ME: How the heck do I eat this thing?


To Be Continued.

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My loyal and dear readers it's finally Friday!


Whatever your plans are have a superb last weekend of February. -x


XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess