The Elderly Couple: My Perfect Plan Backfired....Badly!

Cocaine Princess here.

If there was ever a person who deserved to be decorated with medals of patience it would be awarded without a doubt to Elderly Husband {EH}.  I’m not sure if such a medal exists, if not there should be one. It would have been interesting to see what would have happened had EH put his foot down and insist he have the coffee and not tea. Hmm, I suppose he assumed it was just easier to deal with Elderly Wife's {EW} controlling ways by simply agreeing with her. I decided to try AGAIN for the 3rd time what he was trying to tell me about his grand~daughter's connection to the movie Twilight but.... AGAIN..... EW spoke:

EW: She loves Twilight- reading everyone of the books, watching the movies over and over again... She’s practically wall papered the entire room with posters of that vampire.

EH mumbled something under his breath that I couldn’t quite make out. EW turned her head and looked at him.

EW: Did you say something, dear? 

EH cleared his throat and with a nervous smile explained their grand~daughter was on Team Werewolf. Not that I was too surprised but at that moment Miss Bossy Pants aka EW insisted he was wrong. 

EW: No you’re wrong. Not werewolves. 

EH: The posters in her room are of Taylor Lautner and not Robert Pattison. Don't you remember dear we took her shopping-

EW: You don’t know what you’re talking about. Pay attention, vampires. Not werewolves. 

I'm going to pause here for a moment with my post as I share this random thought with you lovelies: Let’s say for the sake of argument elderly husband was wrong: Was it really necessary for the wife to correct him in the manner that she did and then go on and on about the “vampire posters?” Apparently EW thought so! It’s not as if the question would one day appear as a final question on Jeopardy and therefore one really needed to know if the answer was vampire or werewolf! I had a gut feeling EH was in fact correct and not because I was on Team Elderly Husband but because he knew Robert Pattison and Taylor Lautner were the stars of the film. Come on, how many seniors do you know who are familiar with those names? If I had to describe EH I would use the following words: meek, soft spoken, gentle and patient. If I had to describe his wife? That’s a no brainer- the complete opposite of EH.

Each time either sister or I commenced a conversation with him, his wife felt the desperate need to barge in and I didn’t understand why. Was she trying out for a new type of game show that required contestants to be skilled in the art of butting into a conversation? Hmm, if so Elderly Woman would win hands down and be crowned the ultimate champion. Whatever the reason, poor husband if he was lucky maybe got one or two words in. I needed a way to talk to him without the wife cutting in. If you recall in my previous post here which by the way was so awesomely written if I do say so myself, the first portion of their visit was discussing what was new in our lives. I remembered EH mentioning since retiring he had taken up the hobby of sailing. I figured if I asked him a question directly related to his new spare-time activity that would lead to us having a full length conversation. “A-ha, the perfect plan!” I thought. I first needed to wait until the “coast was clear” and by that I mean when EW quit rambling on about the “vampire” posters. She finally took a break from talking and when she leaned forward to pick up her tea cup I knew that was my cue. Looking straight into EH’s face I said:

ME: Tell me all about your sailing club? It sounds like fun.

EW: Oh yes, he is quite the sailor.......

Well so much for my perfect plan--- it backfired, badly! As I stated, I looked right into EH’s eyes expecting his wife would get the hint that the question was directed not at her but her husband. Now that I think back I only have myself to blame. I should have waited until she took a sip from her tea. Silly me for not thinking my plan through. Enough was enough. I had made up my mind and decided if no one else was going to, I was.  

Going to do what you ask?.......................I was going to put Senior Wifey on mute.

To Be Continued.

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My loyal and dear readers it’s finally Friday. Three cheers my lovely ones for making it to the end of the week.

Whatever your plans are have a tip~top weekend.~x

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess