Home Renovation Fiasco

 

Cocaine Princess here.

I like to think of myself as a calm and rational person but truly I'm about to blow a frigging gasket and the fault lies totally with my sister.

Last month our neighbors were doing some renovations in their home. One day the contractor went around the area drumming up business by leaving his card in mailboxes. I guess he was afraid people wouldn't catch the massive sign with his name and number sitting on my neighbors front lawn.

Sister wanted to redo a section of the laundry room with new tiles and decided to hire him. I wasn't too keen on this for 2 reasons.

1} I'm cautious on who I let inside the house. 2} When I googled his name I couldn't find anything on him.

I suggested to sister she either 1} Do a thorough background check or 2} Hire a licensed professional with a good reputation and who is in good standing with the Better Business Bureau. 

I don't know about you but doesn't the second one seem to be the best choice?

Sister assured me she had spoken with our neighbors who were satisfied with his handiwork. I mentioned to "A" that getting one person's opinion wasn't enough but she went ahead and employed him.

CG aka Contractor Guy {don't you just love these cool and clever names I come up with?} guaranteed us the job would take no longer than 3, 4 days tops.

It's been 2 damn weeks and in those 2 damn weeks this is all the work he has accomplished. 

It took him half a day to remove the old flooring and prior to doing so he moved the washer and dryer into the foyer, where they still remain along side with the towel cabinet. That area of the house is in such a chaotic mess that I doubt Home Decor Magazine will be ringing our doorbell anytime soon to present to us their annual Best Home Decorating Award. I suppose all that hard work must have really wiped him out because CG didn't return back until 2 days later. 

You really ought to see this guy work– if that’s what you can call it. One day I was determined to keep my eye on him. I turned my back for a mere moment --POOF-- he was gone only to mysteriously re~appear hours later and worked for a grand total of 20 minutes.

This individual gives new meaning to the phrase "slacking off." If he's not gabbing on his phone he's drinking coffee-- excessively large amounts of it because he's constantly using the main floor bathroom and leaving the toilet seat up. My God, when you're done doing your business seriously how hard is it to put the seat down and close the lid? You already know about my strict no shoe wearing rule, right? Housekeeper laid a painters drop cloth sheet in the foyer leading to the bathroom since taking off and putting on his work boots every time was "a bit of an inconvenience for him," so he told me. Hmm, here's a thought: quit drinking so much damn coffee! Even though a sheet is covering the tiles in the foyer the sound of those work boots inside my home makes my ears want to bleed. He walks like a clumsy horse AND if that isn't bad enough Contractor Guy smokes. By now my Lovelies are aware of the 2 rules I have in my home-- No Shoes and No Smoking. During this portion of my post I would like to re-iterate that I have absolutely nothing against smokERS. Hey, most of my friends smoke. It's the smokING part I have a problem with. I can't stand the smell and it does a real number on my eyes. In a nutshell Hell would have to freeze completely over the day I permit anyone to smoke in my home. I informed the lazy contractor he could only smoke outside either on the sidewalk or in the middle of the driveway and absolutely no where else on the property. So you can imagine my surprise when I walked into the garage one day to find the floor resembling a stinky ashtray. Everywhere I looked there were cigarette butts including several on the stairs that lead to the door inside. I would have given him hell, Colombian style but once more POOF he was gone. I was beginning to think he was actually a magician who does home repairs in his spare time.

We made numerous attempts to contact him by leaving messages on his phone but this s-o-b didn't return any of them. 

Sister questioned our neighbors if they encountered the same problem with CG. Guess what? They did. So they were satisfied with his handiwork but not his work ethic-- well gee, you didn't think sharing that little gem of information might have been important?

Didn't I tell sister that getting one person's opinion wasn't enough?

Totally fed up with Contractor Guy's unprofessional behavior I made it clear to "A" that if she wasn't going to I would be more than happy to take on the roll of The Terminator and terminate him. I figured leaving a message on his phone stating he was F-I-R-E-D was the only way to get this lazy slob's attention and he would come running back to complete the job and get paid. And that's when sister dropped a bomb on me: She already paid him.......IN FULL. 


My reply upon hearing this news?

ME: Why the hell did you do that?!


Answer: According to the neighbors if you pay CG cash you'll get a significant discount.

Oh my God! Can you believe my brilliant university educated sister who has a double major paid CG beforehand and he has yet to finish the job! Now his behavior made total sense!  All in the name to save a buck which has resulted in nothing but one massive headache. But oh wait it gets so much better. Are you ready for it? Here it comes: There's no paper work to verify payment not even a written receipt. I don't think there was even a handshake. The only 2 people who were involved in this cash transaction was sister and CG. My only part in this home renovation fiasco was choosing the tiles. I couldn't believe what she had done! You know they say every cloud has a silver lining and the silver lining in this scenario? The Princess lecturing her older sister over her mistake. After receiving 100+ lectures from "A" the tables had finally turned! The student had become the teacher! What's done is done," is what sister now says. Believe you me if the roles were reserved I would have received the mother load of all frigging lectures.


By some miracle we were able to reach Contractor Guy. He promises he'll be back next week to finish up the job.

He promises....yeah right! At the pace he works it’s in all likelihood I’ll be posting an update sometime next year.

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My loyal and dear readers, it's finally Friday.

Whatever your plans are have a tremendous weekend.~x

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess