Winter Vaycay: The Vow Renewal Ceremony

Cocaine Princess here.

 Christmas vaycay happen to coincide with a vow renewal ceremony. So, what lucky couple renewed their vows? The Panamanian and his much younger wife, Topless Barbie. A day before the lavish event Valentina and I were at the spa getting body scrubs. Looking through the pamphlet several different types were offered. I chose the margarita salt scrub.

 

After a fabulous treatment and feeling refreshed we headed to the nail room for our mani/pedis. Valentina was sitting right next to me. As our 10 little piggies were being soaked in the warm, soothing therapeutic water I closed my eyes and drifted away. I was in such a calm, serene place and unfortunately the tranquil feeling didn’t last very long. In a whisper like voice:

 VALENTINA: Oh my God, you’ll never believe who just showed up?

With my eyes still closed:

ME: Johnny Depp.

  

Hey, it wasn’t all that far fetched after all celebs do go on holidays and it’s possible he could stroll in for a mani/pedi, right?  When I opened my peepers who did they see?

 The Panamanian’s Wife AKA “Topless Barbie.” And in case you’re wondering she was clothed. Clothed as in she was wearing a knee~length robe as did Valentina and I. {provided by the spa} Topless Barbie had been in one of the other treatment rooms receiving a bronze glow treatment. Her skin glistened and unlike last time her tan didn’t resemble the color of driveway sealant. She spotted us right away and rushed on over to greet us with a hug-hug and kiss-kiss and then questioned what we were doing. Before I continue any further I should explain something first:

Valentina isn’t a big fan of “Barbie” and once warned me not to get into any deep conversations with her simply because “she’s not all there,” and “has the IQ of a squirrel.” Because of this she’ll make fun of Barbie behind her back or makes quiet little comments. My overall impression of her? Sweet and bubbly. I first wrote about The Panamanian and his wife here. If you can’t be bothered to read that entry {even though it is awesomely written} here’s the cliff notes version: The Panamanian is an overweight individual with a receding hairline whom Valentina affectionately calls {behind his back of course} “The Fat Balding Panamanian.” The Panamanian is a business associate of Valentina’s daddy and Topless Barbie is his wife. His 4th wife who happens to be 27 years younger than him. If you're wondering why she's known as “Topless Barbie,” click here. {Sorry, no cliff notes version for that explanation!} After greeting us Topless Barbie questioned what we were doing. Under her breath Valentina muttered the following.

VALENTINA: We’re running a marathon.

See what I mean about her little comments? I decided to reply.

ME: We’re getting ready for your big day tomorrow. You must be so excited.

TOPLESS BARBIE: Can you believe it, chica? 5 years! We’ve been happily married 5 years.

She continued talking about her nuptials with such excitement and enthusiasm....Her dress, the food, the ceremony, the decorations and as she went into detail about everything my phone went off indicating I had a text message. Figuring it was from sister I looked down on my lap where I had placed my phone. It wasn’t from sister. It was from Valentina who texted the following message to me:

“5 years–— WOW, I didn’t know Barbie could count that high.”

To be Continued....

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My loyal and dear readers, it’s finally Friday. All hail The Long Weekend!!

Whatever your plans are have a spectacular weekend. ~x

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess