Tease & Torture

 

Cocaine Princess here.

****Updated: Sunday April 1st****

                                                        "Wrestlemania 28"

I'm stunned! I can't believe The Rock beat John Cena. It was a heart pounding match after-all this was billed as "The Once In A Lifetime Match." Yes, I know it's all scripted
but seriously why did the WWE do this? I'm guessing now The Rock once more will be making weekly appearances on Monday Night Raw babbling, err I mean, bragging about his win until Summer~Slam where John will surely beat the pants off of him.....unless this feud is going to continue into Wrestlemania 29?

The Hell In a Cell Match between The Undertaker and Triple H was epic! I totally loved the staredown between the 2 and The Undertaker was sporting a new haircut. There was a moment when I thought The Undertaker would lose-- while he was receiving a severe beat down from HHH, Jim Ross kept mentioning "The end of the era" and so I thought, is The Phenom's winning streak over? Not the case. He won and when the match ended it was awesome seeing The Undertaker, Triple H and Shawn Michaels hug each other and then raising their arms to all the fans as they walked off stage. I have a feeling The Undertaker will be retiring and what better way for him to retire by having a 20~0 winning streak. Quite an era indeed.

There were some surprises, for example Kane beating Randy Orton and the worst was the first match of the night for World Heavy Weight Championship between
Shaemus and Daniel Bryan. The entire match lasted under 18 seconds.

In other WWE news, former WWE champion and UFC heavyweight champion Brock Lesnar has signed a one year deal with the WWE. Click here to read the details. 

**** 

Sorry for the short Friday entry. 

I apologize for not posting another awesome installment of Winter Vaycay. Lack of sleep has left me pretty much feeling wiped out this week. I just don't get it: I'll sleep well for weeks and then without any warning my lucky sleeping streak ends. Sometimes I wonder if Mr. Sandman enjoys teasing me. Hmm, or should that be torturing me? My nightly routine lately has been tossing and turning, get out of bed, drink hot milk while channel surfing and the next thing I know the sun is rising.  

Earlier this week while I was laying in bed staring at the ceiling I couldn't believe what I was hearing. So what was I hearing?  Birds. Birds chirping so loudly outside. I ask, what the hell kind of birds chirp at the unholy hour of 1am? 

****

This Sunday is WrestleMania XXVIII, live from Miami and I for one am pumped! The fight between The Rock and John Cena is being billed as one of the biggest matches in WrestleMania history. I'm looking forward also to the "Hell In A Cell" match between The {un~defeated} Undertaker vs. Triple H and to make this fight even more exciting, guess who's refereeing? Shawn Michaels.

Yes, I know wrestling is all fake but I enjoy the story lines and not to mention it's fun and awesome entertainment.

And by the way, Team John Cena all the way, baby!!  

****

My loyal and dear readers, it's finally Friday.

Whatever your plans are have an amazing last weekend of March. ~x

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

ZZ Top

Cocaine Princess here.

I don't usually post 2 entries on a Friday but anyone who knows me will tell you I love 80s music. I have my amazing mom to not only thank for that but also for listening and appreciating music in general.

Today, March 23rd marks the 29th anniversary of ZZ Top's album "Eliminator."

One of my favorite songs from their iconic album is "Sharp Dressed Man."  I searched online and was unable to find the original video, only the live version. Come on, what girl isn't crazy about a "Sharp Dressed Man." 
 
In other ZZ Top news, Billy Gibbons launches his own sauce. Click here to read the details.

What's your favorite ZZ Top song?


XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

Winter Vaycay: Oh Dear God

Cocaine Princess here.

To Review:

Topless Barbie tapped my arm questioning what was so funny? I lied by explaining Valentina and I were recalling a funny incident from the past which then led to this:

TOPLESS BARBIE: Chica, I forgot to introduce you to my best friend. Did you know she’s dating your ex?

"Oh Dear God"

I honestly didn't know what to say or even how to react. If I had a mirror and looked at myself I'm sure I would have had one of those "deer caught in the headlights look." Wow, what a way for Topless Barbie to give an introduction. And here I thought Valentina was blunt but then again I don't think The Panamanian's Wife did it on purpose-- as Valentina mentioned earlier, "she's not all there." Flaky Barbie just stared right at me. Hmm, I'm not sure what the proper etiquette is in situations like this? Do I say, "hello, nice to meet you?" Flaky Barbie finally broke the ice:

FLAKY BARBIE: Who would have thought you and I would have something in common. 

Oh good grief! Again, what is the proper etiquette? I went from feeling awkward to downright odd and uncomfortable. While feeling this way Valentina began with the texting:

VALENTINA: Doesn't she look like a bobble~head?

FLAKY BARBIE: Tough break about you not being his type. He wouldn't have dumped you if you were.

Not to sound like a broken record but once more, what is the proper etiquette? How do you respond back to such a statement-- a statement that had absolutely no truth to it, especially the latter. I decided not to say anything and thought it was best I keep quiet. As long I knew what the truth was I really didn't care what she thought. I sat back in my chair however Valentina, well, what can I say other than she didn't sit back nor did she stay quiet and had a look across her face that meant: "Oh dear God, stand back people because she's about to blow!!"

VALENTINA: Is that what you heard-- she wasn't his type and that he dumped her? 

FLAKY BARBIE: Everybody knows that's what happened. It's common knowledge.

VALENTINA: Here's a little newsflash blondie: she broke up with him and had damn good reason to, so whomever feed you that piece of s#*t which I bet came from his camp, lied. Got it or would you like me to speak slower?

Given Valentina's words and not to mention the tone she used one would assume FB would have gotten the message to never speak or look in our direction again, right? Guess what? She didn't but then again does that really come as a surprise?

FLAKY BARBIE: Yeah, it was his friends who told me.

She nodded while speaking the above words and Valentina was spot on correct- she really did look like a bobble head. Her head just wobbled. Flaky Barbie then made a suggestion to me that left me wondering if perhaps she had been dropped on her head as a child.

FLAKY BARBIE: Maybe you and my boyfriend can catch up and reminisce about old times? 

But wait, she wasn't finished. While looking at my polished toes:


FLAKY BARBIE: I love that color! 

She went from boyfriend to the subject of nail polish color in under 5 seconds flat! 


Valentina texted another message:

VALENTINA: I think all the silicone from her beach balls somehow leaked upwards into what little brain she has.

To Be Continued.

 *** 

This past week our region has been experiencing record breaking temperatures. People wearing shorts, sandals on their feet and summer clothing in March is unheard of {for us} during this time of year and so are temperatures in the high 20s. Yesterday was the hottest day on record  for the month of March. We hit +26C. I know many times I have lashed out at Mother Nature but this week she deserves a hefty round of applause.

My loyal and dear readers, it's finally Friday.

Whatever your plans are have a terrific first weekend of Spring. ~x

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

An Old Irish Legend

 Cocaine Princess here.

"May the Irish hills caress you.
May her lakes and rivers bless you.
May the luck of the Irish enfold you.
May the blessings of Saint Patrick behold you."
~Irish Blessing

 

As I eat a bowl of "Lucky Charms"  in the midnight hour, I was curious to know why out of all the holidays observed, alcohol is always associated with St. Patrick's Day? Thoughts of Santa and presents accompany Christmas, on St. Valentine's Day one thinks of hearts and chocolates and with St. Patrick's Day aside from wearing something green, having a drinkie comes to mind. I did a little research and here's what I found:

"The custom of imbibing alcohol on St. Patrick's Day comes from an old Irish legend. As the story goes, St. Patrick was served a measure of whiskey that was considerably less than full. St. Patrick took this as an opportunity to teach a lesson of generosity to the innkeeper. He told the innkeeper that in his cellar resided a monstrous devil who fed on the dishonesty of the innkeeper. In order to banish the devil, the man must change his ways. When St. Patrick returned to the hostelry some time later, he found the owner generously filling the patrons' glasses to overflowing. He returned to the cellar with the innkeeper and found the devil emaciated from the landlord's generosity, and promptly banished the demon, proclaiming thereafter everyone should have a drop of the "hard stuff" on his feast day."

And on that note, in honor of this day I present to you:

"Irish Canadian"

Ingredients:

2 oz Canadian Whiskey

1 oz Irish Mist

Preparation:

1. Pour the ingredients in a mixing glass with ice.

2. Stir well.

3. Strain into a cocktail glass.

"The Dancing Leprechaun"

Ingredients:

1 1/2 oz Irish whiskey
3/4 oz Drambuie
3/4 oz lemon juice
Ginger Ale
Twist of Lemon peel

Preparation:

1. Shake whiskey, liqueur and juice with ice. 

2. Strain into highball with ice cubes and fill 

with ginger ale. 

3. Add a twist of lemon.

Unfortunately the late and great Charles M. Schultz never created a St. Patrick's Day special featuring the loveable Peanuts gang but God Bless animator Chuck Jones for giving us this 7min. Looney Tunes cartoon called, "The Wearing of the Grin."

Summary: "Porky Pig spends a night in a castle inhabited by leprechauns."

 As I raise my half eaten bowl of cereal, I'd like to make a toast: 

"May your blessings outnumber the shamrocks that grow,
 And may trouble avoid you wherever you go." 
~Traditional Irish Toast

Now go on, put on your green socks and do that Irish Jig!

 

To all the wrestling and horror fans, The WWE is rebooting the 1993 horror movie Leprechaun. Click here to read the details.

My loyal and dear readers,  

May you all find your 4~Leaf Clover in some way shape or form. 

 

Happy St. Patrick's Day.

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess 

Short Post

 

Cocaine Princess here.

Sorry for the short post. I’ve had a full and busy week.

Let’s see, there was so much happening this week: March Madness at the malls, Fashion Week in the city and Spring Break! Sister took full advantage of her spring break holiday {come Monday she’ll be back teaching in the classroom} while I took full advantage of shopping 'til I dropped and attending the amazing shows. Ladies, the color of the season is Tangerine~Tango. 

I’ll be posting an entry tomorrow, so if you can please stop by.

My loyal and dear readers, it’s finally Friday.

Whatever your plans are have a lucky weekend. ~x

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

Winter Vaycay: Pet Cemetery

 

Cocaine Princess here.

As promised and although I’m still battling a cold I managed to post the next thrilling installment. Enjoy.

To review:  

The woman, who I’d never seen before was heading straight towards us.

ME: Who is she?

VALENTINA: Topless Barbie’s best friend. I call her Flaky Barbie. She’s the maid of honor and....

ME: And what?

VALENTINA: Senor Bling’s girlfriend, you know the one who was asking questions about you.

Winter Vaycay: Pet Cemetery

ME: This is what you were concerned about? Her, blind~siding me?

VALENTINA: Yes and her has a name, Flaky Barbie.

I didn’t get it.

ME: Why would you think she would blind~side me?

It was a perfectly legitimate question. It’s not like I didn’t know he has a girlfriend.....Okay I will admit I had no idea she was the maid of honor but as for being blind~sided, not at all.

VALENTINA: I bet he’s going to be flaunting her around at the wedding, in particular he’ll be flaunting her in your face. "Look at me, I’m dating." This is why I was trying to fix you up with a guy.

This time I was the one rolling my eyes. The weeks leading up to my holidays Valentina kept insisting she allow me to let her fix me up with someone.  


ME: Is that why you wanted me to have a date for this wedding?

VALENTINA: Don’t you want him to know you’ve moved on?

ME: How does me being single qualify as not moving on? Look, I don’t care what he thinks and as I’ve said a million and one times before I don’t care about him or what goes on in his life.

VALENTINA: I’m only thinking of you.

As crazy as this may sound, I love Valentina. Our friendship dates back to our designer diaper days. The point I’m trying to make is: she means well and her heart is always in the right place.  


VALENTINA: I think it’s a desperate move on his part that he brought that flake.

I explained he didn’t bring her. She was in the wedding party.

VALENTINA: Then it's a pretty desperate move that he's dating someone in the wedding party. She’s all fake you know.

And at that moment Valentina began to pick apart The Fake Flake. {Her words not mine} From her blonde hair extensions that looked more like straw plucked from a bale of hay than human hair to her Cheetos colored tan to this: 

VALENTINA: Look at her chest.

ME: I’d rather not.

VALENTINA: I don’t think those are implants. I think she stuffed 2 beach balls in her top. You want to know why I call her Flaky?

ME: Nope.

VALENTINA: Are you bothered he has a girlfriend?

ME: He could walk in with a dozen Playmates on each arm and I could care less.

VALENTINA: Are you going to talk to her?

As quietly as I could I pleaded that she change the subject. She was silent for a good 2 minutes or so. 

VALENTINA: So what do you think?


My toes were being polished when she asked and assuming she was referring to the color I selected, I replied:

ME: I like it. It’ll go nicely with my outfit tomorrow.

VALENTINA: Not that. I’m talking about her implants. Do you think Senor Bling, I mean whose name shall not be mentioned, do you think he shelled out the dinero for those beach balls?

My God, it was like talking to a brick wall! At times I wonder if the reason Valentina talks so much is because she enjoys the sound of her own voice. No, I wasn’t interested in how she paid for her beach balls.  One of the best things I enjoy about spending the day at the spa is the peace and calmness that comes along with it but that day I wasn’t able to feel neither peace or calmness. If anything I had a damn headache. I felt like a tree with a pair of woodpeckers on each side pecking away. Woodpecker #1: Valentina, who would not let go of the subject of whose name shall not be mentioned and Woodpecker #2: Topless Barbie: You know how sometimes there’s a loud conversation taking place and you happen to be nearby and you overhear it? Technically it’s not considered eavesdropping, right? She was using her outside voice and enlightening her best friend about the “meow” and what do you know, Flaky Barbie had a logical explanation:


FLAKY BARBIE : Maybe a cat snuck inside. A homeless cat.

TOPLESS BARBIE: But nobody saw or heard the cat. Only me.

FLAKY BARBIE: That’s spooky. Maybe it was a Ghost. A cat~ghost. Is it cat~ghost or ghost~cat?

TOPLESS BARBIE: You think it might be my cat that died?

She was so dramatic in asking her question she placed her hand across her heart.


As the story goes: Once Upon A Time, The Panamanian’s Wife had a cat when she was little and like all pets in life her cat died. Apparently Flaky convinced Topless the “meow” she heard was the spirit of her late cat. A cat named Minka. The end.

TOPLESS BARBIE: Minka is trying to contact me. Why now? What do you suppose it means?

You want to know what it means? It means you’ve been smoking a little something especially if you believe the spirit of your late cat is haunting you from beyond Pet Cemetery or, perhaps I was high from the nail polish fumes and imagined the whole conversation? Of course the latter was not true. Never in my life have I heard a more absurd conversation, however it did get me thinking: what was correct: “Cat-Ghost” or “Ghost-Cat?” Oh my God. Being around these two was proving to be extremely harmful to my brain cells. I looked at Valentina– the person responsible for all this. Her face was covered with a magazine she had taken from the pouch attached to the pedicure chair. I knew she wasn’t reading. Judging from the way her shoulders were moving slightly up and down I could tell she was laughing.

FLAKY BARBIE: Some couples include pets into their wedding. Maybe Minka feels left out. Why not include her?

TOPLESS BARBIE: How can I?  Minka is dead, remember?

FLAKY BARBIE: Then there's no way you can include Minka in the wedding.

Slight pause....

FLAKY BARBIE: I have an idea. Maybe you can rent a cat? Let’s find a pet rental store.

Valentina lowered the magazine she was ahem, reading and leaning in towards me she whispered:

VALENTINA: Can you imagine these two brainiacs on Jeopardy?

Good grief! And so it began....The Giggles! Honest to God I tried my hardest to suppress
them but just couldn’t especially after I pictured both Topless and Flaky on an educational game show. One good thing to come out from my giggling is their absurd conversation came to an end which now that I think back turned out to be a bad thing because Topless Barbie tapped my arm questioning what was so funny? I lied by explaining Valentina and I were recalling a funny incident from the past which then led to this: 

TOPLESS BARBIE: Chica, I forgot to introduce you to my best friend. Did you know she’s dating your ex?

If I had to list my most awkward moments this would definitely top the list.

To Be Continued.

**** 

It’s Daylight Savings Time Weekend which means we Spring Forward but for someone like myself it means I lose 1 hour of sleep but every cloud has its’ silver lining and so with that being said we gain more light. Ahh, it’ll be nice no longer having the sun set and have darkness descend on us by 5:15pm.

My loyal and dear readers, it’s finally Friday.

Whatever your plans are have a superb weekend.~x  

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

Blah!

****UPDATE: Tuesday March 6th: Quick update on my “Blah Status.”****

Cocaine Princess here.


Firstly, I thank you for your well wishes. I’m doing much better. That excruciating pain and pressure around my sinus that left me wondering if I had been attacked by an unseen force that had the strength of a ton of bricks is slowly diminishing, one of my ears is no longer blocked and as I patiently wait for the other to unblock, there’s still the problem of my stuffed up nose and cough.

I haven’t been out of the house since 5 days ago which meant I missed my mani/pedi appointment. That’s right, not only am I blogging this entry with chipped nail polish but I’m suffering from a severe case of cabin fever. I can’t even begin to describe how much I miss my early morning run and seeing my fellow runners as I pass them by. The dogs- in particular one, I don’t miss. I miss the fresh air. Earlier in the day I poked my head out of the window for a brief moment and oh lordy what a great feeling it was feeling that air sweep across my face. 


While my annoying cold has taken hostage of me, my time is spent either resting in bed and channel surfing or resting on the sofa and channel surfing and while doing so, I caught a few reality shows:

“Ice Loves Coco”
Show revolves around the 'Law & Order: SVU' co-star's marriage to his model wife of 10 years, Coco, and explore their daily lives.
 
~I wasn’t planning on watching the entire Season 1 marathon but I was hooked after one episode. They certainly are one cute couple.

“Whisker Wars”
Set in the world of competitive facial hair growing which profiles a group of men from the National Beard and Mustache Championship in Bend, Oregon to the World Competition in Norway.

~I  didn’t know what to think at first, well no that’s not true. I thought: “A reality show about competitive beard growing?” Men compete and travel worldwide to see who has grown the longest, wildest, and bushiest beard. Seriously, who knew "bearding" is an actual sport?! Hmm, the next time I see someone who could easily be mistaken for Billy or Dusty, I’m going to wonder if they’re apart of the competitive world of facial hair growing.

“Extreme Couponing”
Hard-core couponers plot their grocery-store trips using coupons to buy their groceries worth $100s for under $20.

One woman purchased nearly $1500.00 worth of groceries but paid only $10.00 by using coupons. These couponers spend 30-40 hours a week clipping coupons and planning their grocery trips. Another “extreme couponer” that was featured proudly displayed her stockpile of food and personal household items that filled her entire basement and garage. Among other things, she had 500 bottles of Pine~Sol, 400 mustard jars and 200 bottles of Mountain Dew. And I thought my 12 pack of Diet Dr. Pepper was impressive. When I think about it, it kind of puts it to shame doesn’t it? These couponers are so extreme that one woman goes weekly dumpster diving looking for newspaper coupon inserts that people toss out.


Random Thought: If the Apocalypse ever occurred or if we faced the threat of zombies, what on earth would someone do with 500 bottles of Pine~Sol?

                                                                     ****


If it isn’t that one really bothersome blocked ear, it’s my cough keeping me up at night. I was really counting on the cold medicine I’ve been taking to knock me out each night and put me into a deep slumber but like Mr. Sandman, Mr. Medicine hasn’t been doing it’s job despite the warning on the side of the box: Will cause drowsiness. Do not operate any kind of vehicle or heavy machinery. These days it seems the Princess is immune to any kind of drowsiness. Moments ago I was craving for Cheetos. Yes, I’m aware of that old saying: “Starve A Cold. Feed A Fever.” In my defense I’m so sick of eating dry toast and sipping on ginger ale. The first 48 hours into my cold I had no choice as my stomach was doing flip flops but my stomach is feeling fine now so I thought a handful of Cheetos would be alright. Browsing through the pantry all I found was a bag of Cheetos Crunchys. While nibbling on exactly 2, I began to wonder: whatever happened to their Flaming Hot flavor?


As my palette enjoys the Cheetos after~taste guess what’s on? AMC is airing “National Lampoon’s Vacation.” Cue Holiday Road!


XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess 


Cocaine Princess here.



I know what you’re thinking. You’re staring at your computer screen and devastated beyond belief why this post isn’t titled “Winter Vaycay” because I know you were expecting to read the next thrilling installment of Topless Barbie and my encounter with her maid of honor, right?

These past few days I haven’t been feeling too well and didn’t have the strength to post it however I did muster up enough strength to post this little entry. So how do I feel? Hmm...Blah! is a word that comes to mind. It began with a prickly headache and a few sniffles and has now graduated into a pounding headache, stuffed nose and blocked ears. It’s only a matter of time the tickle in my throat turns into a full fledged sore throat.

I’m going to have to end this brilliantly written Friday entry here. Moments ago I did a shot of Ny~Quil {cherry flavored} which means any minute now I’ll be passing out, unless Mr. Sandman has other plans and if so I have prepared a well written plea:

Mr. Sandman: Given my current state PLEASE for the love of God let me fall asleep of all nights, tonight.

Respectfully Yours,
Colombian Princess

****

My loyal and dear readers, it’s finally Friday.

Whatever your plans are have a smashing first weekend of March. ~x

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess