Friday, May 13, 2011

He May Look All Quiet & Innocent....

Cocaine Princess here.

Well, about time Blogger! So glad you fixed everything. I was beginning to think I wouldn’t be able to post my regular Friday entry.
I’ve had a busy week so please excuse this short post. However I must warn you, although it is a short post it is a spectacular one. See for yourselves, my lovelies.

Being in the career of fashion I absolutely must stay in shape. There are no ifs ands or buts! I workout Monday~Friday and on Sundays. I take Saturdays off. It’s not uncommon to find me at the mall on that day. I wear my stilettos and shopping in them from sunup to sundown, believe me that’s more than enough exercise for one day. Of course there are still a few drawbacks to wearing high heels but there are a few benefits too: "In a recent study of high heels and the muscles they affect, it was revealed that heels actually help build strong calf muscles. The angle of the foot causes your calf to work harder, think of it like doing heel rises all day long, you are working the same muscles. 3 cheers for high heels!"

Each morning I’m up no later than 5am. It doesn’t matter what time I go to bed my peepers will automatically open at 0500 hours. I begin my workout for 1 hour, followed by 30~35 minutes of yoga and then I end my workout regime by going for a run. I use the treadmill if only the weather conditions are unbearable otherwise I run outdoors. I love running outdoors in the early morning especially now that the meteorological conditions have improved and by that I mean the weather is finally fit for humans and not polar bears. Everything looks, feels and smells so brand new. Trees are in full leaf, the fragrant scent of flowers blooming, the birdies chirping sweet and harmonious tunes. It’s so lovely that sometimes while I’m running I’m tempted to stop and do my happy dance in the style of that adorable beagle. Speaking of birds, I’m going to go off topic here for a brief moment: As much as I love hearing them there is one bird that has landed in our neighborhood and it gives off one of the most loud and irritating chirps I have ever heard in my entire life. Correction, it doesn’t chirp instead it screeches like a monkey that I’ve actually seen people stop and look up. The funny thing is no one can find or even see this bird. “The Annoying Bird That Sounds Like A Monkey” sits perched high above one of the trees in the area. Getting back to where I was : the birdies chirping harmonious tunes and the sound of lawn mowers. Not only is it a welcome relief hearing the sound of a lawn~mower and not a snow~blower, but what a relief it is to see grass and not have it covered up by the mountains of icy, white stuff. If Mother Nature hadn’t thawed everything out I might have forgotten what grass looked like. 

Besides me others are out at daybreak getting their “jog on” too including those who walk their dogs. I briefly blogged before about this one dog I seriously don’t like. In fact I dislike this dog so much I decided to honor him with the name, “The Damn Hairy Beast.” {DHB} He’s like a big, brown, ball of fur with legs. Regardless of the season the owner and its pooch will be doing their morning walk and for some reason the DHB likes chasing me. There could be 5 or 6 joggers nearby and apparently they are invisible to DHB because upon seeing me it’ll bolt from its owner and come after me. The owner will do nothing. It doesn’t even yell out a command telling him to stop. When I’m being chased I can’t decide whether I feel like a criminal on the run or one of those mechanical rabbits at the race track. On several occasions during the winter I was chased and tackled into a snow bank and if that wasn’t enough he began licking my face, meanwhile its’ owner stood to one side gabbing away on his cell phone as if nothing was wrong! No worries my lovelies I know what you’re all thinking: Sheesh! What nerve! Some of you canine lovers may enjoy being slobbered on but I don’t. Each time he licked me I felt so..... violated.

It got to the point where I wasn’t enjoying my mornings anymore. In fact I was feeling apprehensive and stressed out. Exercise is suppose to have a positive effect on you by relieving tension and bringing calmness and balance to ones’ mind. If anything DHB was bringing the opposite to me. The worst I would have to say was one foggy morning in March. I’m jogging peacefully down the street where out of nowhere I faintly began hearing barking sounds forcing me to stop dead in my tracks. The bark kept getting closer and closer. I didn’t know which way to turn because honestly the bark seemed like it was coming from all directions. I felt like I was in the middle of a horror film: “The Princess & The Hound From The Underworld.”

Since I’m well aware what time the mutt from hell and its careless owner leave for their morning walk, I patiently stand on my porch and wait. I wait for them to walk past my house and as soon as they do I’m off in the opposite direction. Hmm, I’m not sure why I didn’t think of doing that sooner. Now that DHB and I no longer come in direct contact with one another I’m happy to announce my morning jogs have returned to bringing me peace of mind.

As I was coming home the other day from the city I saw “Damn Hairy Beast” sitting quietly in its front yard. I don’t know what type of dog he is but here’s a pic of him:

He may look all quiet and innocent but trust me, he isn’t.


My loyal and dear readers, it’s finally Friday. To be exact it’s "Friday The 13th" so be cautious today.

Whatever your plans are have a fantastic weekend.~x

Cocaine Princess


Anonymous said...

Latina-- thanks for mentioning the horsetrack. I gotta call my bookie.

Anonymous said...

Maybe it is a monkey. Ever seen Madagascar? said...

that is awesome your dedication to your profession..i hope it rewards you. No different then studying day and night if you were getting ahead in corporate. That being said, can we see more butt shots. Thank you. =-)

Cocaine Princess said...

Waltsense at 9:45,
I'll do my best in accommodating your request.

Red Shoes said...

I used to be a morning person... well, still am, depending on what's on the agenda... but I've got to where I'm more of a night person now...

Monkeys... blah...


Anonymous said...

Ditto @9:45

Slyde said...

All i can keep on thinking is, that is ONE lucky dog :)

Boston Jew said...

5am wake up every morning?! You're damn right you're on cocaine!!!

Haha, I'm putting your blog in my favorites on my site. Love reading out workouts, whorish birds and lazy dog owners.

Keep it up.

Cocaine Princess said...

BostonJew at 8:46,
I made your list?! WOW! I'm speechless! Thank you so much!!
{No, I don't do cocaine}

Greg said...

I have to admit that I sort of envy the DHB, but glad that your morning runs are back to a more peaceful and sedate.

I always loved running, but never could find the energy to get up that early and run.

Yeh that was crazy with blogger. Wonder what happened?