Friday, May 20, 2011

If Judgment Day is Tomorrow, There Goes My Long Weekend Plans!

***UPDATE~UPDATE: Tuesday May 24th, 2011: RE: “I can't wait to hear what Harold Camping's excuses are” Are you ready for it? He miscalculated the date. The end of the world is NOW scheduled for October 21st 2011. Geez! There goes my plans for Halloween!

**UPDATE: Sunday May 22nd, 2011: I can't wait to hear what Harold Camping's excuses are...if he can be found that is. Apparently no one has seen him since before the end of the world deadline. 

**UPDATE: Saturday May 21st, 2011 11:15PM: JUDGMENT DAY PREDICTION WAS A TOTAL DUD: AS IF WE DIDN'T KNOW!

"And To Think My Last Meal Could Have Been This....."


Today was May 21st AKA Judgment Day. I must admit I was feeling somewhat anxious & excited, kind of like how I feel when I wake up on Christmas. The only difference: instead of racing to see what’s under the tree first thing in the morning, I would have to wait until 6pm to find out whether or not the Apocalypse would occur. I woke up bright and early as always. The sun was shimmering, the birdies were out in full force doing what they do best, chirp~chirp~chirping and the best part was the temperature: +27C. I thought, “Kudos to Mother Nature! If this is indeed Judgment Day how generous of her to shower us with such fantastic weather!”

Unlike Harold Camping’s followers who were busy preparing for graves to be ripped opened I was busy getting ready to go out. Like any fashion conscious person, my outfit complete with matching accessories was laid out the night before all except for my shoes. It was a given I would be wearing stilettos but I couldn’t decide whether to go with opened toed or closed. I just could not choose and it was driving me mad. The pressure and stress of trying to decide was starting to get to me. I thought it was best that I sleep on it. Since I know you're all just dying to know, I went with opened toed. 

If you recall in this post I had something essential to pick up in the city. Sister came along with me. After I had done my shopping, "A" mentioned she wanted to buy new patio furniture. I wasn’t too thrilled about shopping with her because as with everything else in life, we do things differently.


Here’s my preferred method of shopping: If I see something I like, I buy it. Sister’s preferred method of shopping: “Let’s look around and compare.” Good grief! From Sears she dragged me to Lowes. 


From Lowes she dragged me to Home Depot. From Home Depot she dragged me to Canadian Tire.  


She refuses to adopt my method. My God! I thought how pathetic if this is how I spend my last few hours before the rapture.

After~wards we went to grab a bite to eat. It had completely slipped my mind it was my turn to pick the restaurant. If you’ve forgotten why, click here. It wasn’t until we returned home I had remembered. Sister on the other hand knew but decided to stay quiet. Tsk, tsk, tsk, talk about a sneaky move! So, what fine establishment did “A” select? I’ll give you a hint. Their signature dish is called The Whopper. If you guessed Burger King you are correct. {I suppose after shopping at home improvement establishments one develops a craving for the place that lets- you-have-it-your-way} She ordered the Angry Whopper Combo. I ordered the Angry Tendercrisp Chicken Combo. Ingredients:  spicy crispy onions, jalapeƱos, pepper jack cheese, bacon, tomatoes, lettuce, mayonnaise, and their spicy angry sauce. 


Normally I stay away from fast food but once in a while it’s okay to cheat. The meal was tasty {and messy} but unlike what their poster claimed, my taste-buds were not on fire. 

Here Is A Time Line Between 5:51PM ~ 6:01PM


5:51PM: I looked around at the other customers. Not one of them had the fear of doom, although the way some were shoving food down their mouths I couldn’t help but wonder if they were attempting to consume as much food as they could in the remaining 9 minutes. 



5:55PM: I was dipping my onion rings into the spicy cheese sauce.   


5:57PM: With tears in my eyes I reached across the table and held sister's hand over my heart. I told her how much I loved her and requested if she was spared to look after my pet goldfish. 

5:59PM: After what can only be described as a touching moment 2 minutes earlier, I went back to eating my onion rings.
 

6:00PM: I didn’t hear any trumpets blowing nor did the floor beneath me open up.
 

6:01PM: Boy, was I relieved. And to think my last meal could have been at Burger King!

**** 

P.S. Unless Harold has an earlier prediction} the next end of the world prediction is a little over a year-and-a-half away, in December of 2012, when the Mayan calendar ends.

**** 


Cocaine Princess here.


If you were to take a peak at a calendar owned by any Canadian you will most likely see a smiley face in ink on the last Monday on or before May 24th. Why you ask? Because it's a day where we celebrate Queen Victoria's birthday. Yes, my lovelies that time of year has FINALLY arrived for us, “Victoria Day” which is really slang for “PATIO SEASON.” To be honest commemorating a royal birthday is the last thing on our mind. This is the weekend where we pull out the BBQs or head up to the cottage to officially kick off the start of summer. Mmm, is there anything better than the smell of charcoal getting started?


“Patio Season” is something we look forward to all year long especially after the monstrous winters we go through so it really ticks me off to know the world is coming to an end, TOMORROW at 6:00pm starting with an earthquake in New Zeland. Have any of you heard about this? Or perhaps some of you may have seen a billboard like the one below:

photo


Did you happen to read what's in the yellow circle?  “The Bible Guarantees It.”

A California-based radio station launched this worldwide billboard campaign claiming May 21st, 2011 as Judgment Day. 
  
“Judgment Day is coming on May 21st, 2011. It will be ushered in with the Rapture, followed by the complete destruction of the Earth and the Universe on October 21st.”  

So why May 21st?  

The date was calculated by Harold Camping, the leader of the independent Christian ministry called Family Radio Worldwide, which is based in Oakland, Calif. Camping's date is based on his interpretation of the Bible by using a convoluted set of numerological calculations. Yo Harold, couldn't you have found a better date, like in the middle of winter when it's so frigging cold?! 


Click here to see his website. All I can say is this lunatic has his work cut out for him and by that I mean he has a countdown clock to doomsday and even goes as far as to state: “In fact, most people will immediately disregard this May 21, 2011 warning......”

If Judgment Day is tomorrow, there goes my long weekend! For starters, I have plans to go into the city on Saturday to pick up my newest must have spring accessory: a gorgeous Michael Kors handbag I pre~ordered back in the Fall. Secondly, I have tickets to see “Pirates Of The Caribbean 4: On Stranger Tides” this Holiday Monday. I'm very upset: I already pre~paid for both the bag and tickets!!

****
 

I came across 2 very humorous lists relating to Doomsday:

“Ten Commenter-Chosen Cars That Should Still Be Around To Get You To Where You Need To Be If You're Not One Of God's-Chosen.”  Click here.

“Six Things To Do Before Judgment Day.” You may want to start right away on this list especially since today is May 20th. Click here.

The Huffington Post listed 21 reasons why the world WILL NOT end. Click here. 
I found #16 and #19 quite amusing.

Also in the Huffington Post was an article where even pet care centers are trying to cash in on The Rapture:

“Not to worry, the folks at After The Rapture Pet Care and Eternal Earthbound Pets have your furry friend covered.”  http://aftertherapturepetcare.com/

Click here  to read the full article.

So my lovely ones, what are your thoughts on this whole matter? 

My thoughts, aside from the fact that I think Harold Camping is a total buffoon? I'm sorry but there's really no polite way of saying it.

1} I keep thinking about that episode of “The Simpsons,” the one where the town of Springfield believed  the end was near.

2} I’m a little confused. I read the world {at least according to the Mayans} is coming to an end on December 21st, 2012. Before that I thought it was suppose to end on January 1st 2000. Remember the whole Y2K hype? And yet here we are years later still standing with news the world is ending again AND did you also hear, Stephen Hawkings this week made the following statement: there is no heaven.
Mr. Hawkings, there are many things that science cannot answer. As Einstein once said: "Religion Begins Where Science Ends."

****
My loyal and dear readers, it’s finally Friday.

Given my sometimes cheeky nature I think it's safe to say I'm not going to be one of the chosen ones, but hey that's okay. This weekend my friends and I will be taking part in a massive Post Rapture Looting Party followed by a night of dancing. To quote the fabulous Miss Britney Spears: 

“Keep on dancing till the world ends
If you feel it let it happen
Keep on dancing till the world ends”
 




Whatever your plans are have one wild and wicked weekend. Peace Out.~x


XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess




21 comments:

Anonymous said...

Anybody know which time zone the 6:00 hour falls in that he is referring to? I need to arrange my schedule.

Anonymous said...

This guy is effectively yelling 'FIRE' in the crowded theater that is the public airwaves. I think he's on slippery legal ground.

Anonymous said...

To the kooks who are followers of Harold Camping and believe the world is ending tomorrow-- i wonder if the school they all attended was for the mentally challenged, because otherwise I have to wonder if they're on drugs. They think because Camping decided that the world is going to end on May 21ST that it's actually going to happen? I have news for you-- Harold Camping is a False Prophet and he teaches false doctrine.

Anonymous said...

@9:02-- It must be Central. That is where the vast majority of these religious nutjobs live. Probably right down the road from the G-d Hates Gays First Bapist Church of the Inbred.

Anonymous said...

Nice video.

Anonymous said...

Forget Pirates-- The world can't end- finale of Glee is next week.

Anonymous said...

Hi Latina, I'm Chicken Little-

May 21, 2011 is just going to be another day just as Y2K was another year. Don’t worry, the sky is not actually falling..

My two cents-- Camping is a real screwball. And, Saturday will be just another day in the life of America. Come Sunday morning, he is going to be one of the biggest fools in the world. I say eat, drink and be merry.

Anonymous said...

I think it's time everyone discussed what they're wearing to Judgment Day this Saturday.

Cocaine Princess said...

Anonymous at 9:41,
Forget Pirates? I don't think so!!

Anonymous at 10:39,
Semi~formal

Anonymous said...

I really wonder what excuses Harold Camping will come up with when the world doesn't end. It's a bunch of false prophet fear slandering bullsh#t.

Anonymous said...

You hafta kinda wonder why the Pope himself has not commented on this issue?

KrippledWarrior said...

As a bible believing Christian, let me go on record as saying "SEE YOU ON MONDAY, 23 MAY 2011.

Cocaine Princess said...

Krippled Warrior at 8:29,
YES!

Anonymous said...

Watch for the after rapture sales at WalMart on May22. Beans, bologna, Spam, dry milk and water will be on sale for the rest of those who think the end is near who didn't get raptured. I think Home Depot has fruit trees on sale, a "how to" class on building bunkers and most pawn shops are discounting guns and ammo.

BamaTrav said...

No man knows the time nor the date.

Anonymous said...

Were the riding mowers on sale?

wallycrawler said...

Da reason why there wasn't a rapture was... "Macho Man" Randy Savage snuck behind Jebus Lord of da Lambs, & just before da "J-Man" could pull da switch of da gaint Earth Quake machine, "Mahco" gave him da "Flying Elbow" off da top rope, then coverd da Man fer a Three Count!

See more at ...

www.wallycrawler.blogspot.com

amen.

Anonymous said...

i know what happened to harold camping-- the aliens returned him back to their home planet.

Slyde said...

i couldnt believe all the hype and hoopla that nut got about his doomsday prediction...

what a crock of crap...

Red Shoes said...

Hmmm... I was sure I had commented on this post... maybe my comment was 'raptured'... ;o)

I like your updates!! LMAO!!

I would hate to think... no, wait, scratch that... I think only the Good ones were going anyway... that TOTALLY rules me out!!

I would have been the one looting everything afterwards!! ;o)

~shoes~

Georg said...

Hi Princess,

Sometimes I wonder in what direction the United States are heading.

Is it possible that you will end up like those Muslim countries, brains clogges by religion, a permanent overdose of religion, ready to belief absolutely any crap as long as it has been scribbled into a holy book.

Georg