"They’re Cats Darling, Not A Den Of Lions"

Cocaine Princess here.

Why can't all cats be like Garfield? Fat, orange, lazy and eat lasagna?

Last week a black cat was lurking around our backyard in particular on our patio. For the first few days it remained curled under one of the lounge chairs and when it wasn't doing that it would just roam around the patio as if it was on patio patrol duty.
 
SISTER: Once it realizes we're not going to feed her she'll leave on her own.

ME: That cat bothers me. All it does is stare at me with its' evil looking eyes.

SISTER: Did it ever occur to you that if you didn't keep staring at her she wouldn't stare back at you?

Hmm, I suppose she had a point.

Each morning when I enter into the kitchen the first thing I do (after turning on the lights) is open the patio door blinds to allow the glorious sunshine to come beaming in. Earlier in the week when I opened the blinds to my disguist not only was that black cat still there but she had brought along company, 2 kittens. And before you start saying, aww, how cute, let me tell you right now there's nothing cute or even remotely adorable about these evil balls of fur. They're vicious and all three are under the impression our patio is their new place of residence. So much for them leaving on their own! The other day I opened the patio doors and before my pedicured foot reached the ground the ring leader of this feline gang (mama cat) jumped down from the lounge chair and hissed very loudly at me, and if that wasn't bad enough it raised one of its' ugly paws and showed me her claws. It went into complete attack mode. Who the hell did this cat think she was?! Sheesh! I called the cat's bluff. I stepped onto my patio and while waving my arms I told it to go away. Well, that just made matters worse. Her two gang members decided to join in on the action. They all began inching closer to me. The mama cat began hissing even louder as it continued to show me her claws. I did what any sane person would have done. I went back inside shutting the doors behind me. Oh this was far from over. I went outside and decided to approach them from the patio steps where to my surprise the cat was already positoned on the top step. I can't believe that damn cat outsmarted me.

I gave sister the 411.

SISTER: What do you mean they're not letting you onto the patio?

ME: Each time I try they either block the entrance, hiss or they threaten me by showing their claws. All three are ganging up on me.

Sister laughed.

SISTER: They’re cats darling, not a den of lions. You do know the difference, right?

ME: Yes! Just go see for yourself.

SISTER: Fine, I will right now.

I followed her into the kitchen........and then outside.

The exact same thing those cats did to me, they did to sister.

ME: I told you so.

I’m not going to lie, it felt good saying I told you so to sister. Believe me, it’s not often that I’m able to.

To Be Continued...

I know you’re dying to read more but I’ve had a long few days and all I want to do now is close my eyes and blast some euro-tunes.

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My loyal and dear readers, it’s finally Friday.

Whatever your plans are have a sweet weekend. ~x

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess