You Know What Happens If You Screw With A Cocaine Princess?

Cocaine Princess here. I want to thank all of you who have been so supportive of my blogs. I appreciate all your comments. Thank you all for standing by me.

Once again I am so sorry but I cannot privately email you with details of 'B' or about anything else. You're just going to have to patiently wait until my books come out.

I had another sleepless night, the fifth night in a row. When I was little I use to hear stories about Mr. Sandman. I have a message for him, where the hell are you Mr. Sandman?! Did I say or do something to upset you? If I have I'm so sorry. Please let me sleep. I have tried drinking warm milk, taking a warm bath and even drinking chamomile tea. Nothing seems to be working. I am fully and wide awake at night and during the day. I can't even remember when the last time I yawned was, possibly several weeks ago. My mind just races at night. There's so much that's inside my head involving my characters and their lives and what they've told me and things that I've seen that it constantly plays over and over again in my head. There is no pause for the night button. It's non-stop. On the plus side I've written several chapters. Yesterday morning as I was writing two of my nails broke. I looked at clock and it said 5:00am. I thought 'great I have to wait 5 hours until the mall opens. Later in the day I called my driver and I told him to first take me to Yorkville where I got my nails done and then I had him drop me off at the Eaton Center. I bought some chocolates for the trick or treaters. I never buy the cheap stuff, only and always the best and I always buy extra. I don't want to turn away any child because I ran out of candy. So there I was at the mall shopping trying on a pair of shoes at BeBe when I started craving for pizza. You all know my strict rule about eating during the week. I had a can of Slim Fast before I left home so I figured I would be fine but the aroma of the pizza was spreading throughout the mall. I was really good for about an hour controlling my hunger but then I got thinking, 'I haven't slept in five days and I've been writing non-stop, so maybe I deserve to break the rule just this one time.'
So there I am enjoying my pepperoni slice from Sbarro. The food court was packed with a lot of people having lunch from nearby offices as well as shoppers like me. I'm sitting at a table with my slice and the grease is leaking through the paper plate and I'm thinking how delicious it's going to taste when my cell phone rang. I answered it and before I could even say hello, Valentina started yelling at me. She was mad at me after reading my last blog and was very p'offed for not telling her about a certain person(s) leaving nasty comments. I told her that I left them a message but according to her writing a message simply wasn't enough. At that point Valentina started speaking spanish and I just put the phone down and started eating my slice as she continued yelling. There was no point in talking to her because when she gets angry no one can get a word in edge wise. It wasn't until I was half-way through my pizza there was finally silence and then I quickly picked up the phone. Valentina asked me if I had listened to a word she said. I told her yes but she didn't believe me because she lectured me on what it means being a Cocaine Princess: We are fiercely strong. We don't take crap from anyone. Bottom line: Screw with a Cocaine Princess and we introduce you to our daddies friends.

I have a little ornament of Snoopy as The Literary Ace sitting at his typewriter typing out what he hopes to be the greatest novel ever written that starts with these 7 famous words, 'it was a dark and stormy night.' In the comic strips Snoopy waits in anticipation by the mailbox only to receive rejection letters. But does that stop Snoopy from writing or even when he hears negative comments from Lucy? Of course not! People who say you can't do something are either too afraid to do it themselves or they've failed doing it and therefore discourage others from succeeding. Every word that I write is such a labor of love. Every word that I have written and will write comes from the truth of my heart. People who dream and work hard at becoming writers, actors and singers- we don't it for the money, we do it for the love. Because God knows if I was doing it for the money I would have quit a long time ago. I love writing. It's a do or die thing for me. I'm not giving up. No is not an option. Some people may call this stubborness. I call it pursuing my passion. After all some say the secret to success is staying hungry.
Last week I mailed at least a dozen query letters to various agents, no responses yet. I honestly don't know what's worse? Waiting for a response or receiving a rejection letter. It is said that without pain in life we can never truly appreciate life and everything that happens good or bad, there's always a reason. We don't always find out what that reason is right away especially when something good happens. We are of course grateful but sometimes we fail to question why it happened? When something bad happens our minds become so entangled with such agony and turmoil that we raise our fists to the heavens demanding answers right away. But when those answers can't be found, we cry, we scream, we yell, sometimes we stay silent. Other times we jet off to a tropical island to escape the pain. But we don't really escape the pain do we? It's still with us, it just goes numb for about a week because we drink so much island rum. This period of my life that I am going through is my waiting period. I'm waiting to get published and there must be a reason why I am going through this period of torture. I don't know what the reason is yet but when I do receive my publishing deal, I will look back and say 'it was worth the pain of waiting' and then I can start breathing again and God willing, be able to fall asleep.

In life we come across so many people and there are those certain people who we instantly make a connection with because they touch us in ways that are indescribable. From a spiritual standpoint one could say the reason we make such a deep connection is because we shared a past with that individual and the souls remember. Others might say it's just a simple matter of biology. I don't think there's really one definite answer. Whatever the reason I believe there are good people. Good, complete people that are strangers who come into your life when you least expect it. And they turn your world around by injecting a ray of light into your life. And that light begins to slowly take away the pain your heart, mind and soul is feeling. Why do they come into your life at such an important time? Maybe a higher power hears your hearts' pleas.

To My Newest And Dearest Friend, Whoever You Are,
your inspirational words, your encouragement and your constant belief in me means more
than you'll ever know. They are forever carved into my heart. I truly do hope that we are able to meet- I can visualize it: I'm on my book tour and I see you. I get up and give you a big hug and say Thank You for helping me achieve my dream. (I guess I can't really do that since I don't know what you look like, so instead you'll have to introduce yourself to me. It'll be okay if you cut in front of the line. May we always stay in touch........Have a safe and wonderful weekend. May you find your light.

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess
aka Your Secret Friend