The Boys Of Summer: Where's The Loyalty?

Cocaine Princess here. 

Do you remember when you were little when one or maybe both of your parents would say: “No running in the house.” They said it so you wouldn’t hurt yourself, right? Those 5 words are repeated many times in my house by sister especially to the 3 year old who doesn’t so much run as he speeds around the house like a little wind up toy car.

Tuesday afternoon “A” came running down the stairs like there was no tomorrow. She was late for an appointment. Sister, being the very person who is constantly telling Squirt not to run in the house was doing exactly that. “A” was running in the hallway and while coming around the corner she slipped and banged her foot hard in the wall. I was in the den and heard what I can best describe as a loud crashing-thud sound and thought “what the hell?” The boys were eating lunch in the kitchen. We all got up to see what had happened. There laid sister on the floor. The non-freckled twin {NFT} witnessed the entire thing.

NFT: I think you broke something. I heard a cracking noise.

Housekeeper {HK} was up in the nursery changing the baby. She heard all the commotion. She shouted from the bedroom wanting to know what was going on. The NFT shouted with a reply: “Big sister broke her foot!!” HK came down the stairs holding butterball who was looking very dapper in just his Huggies. She looked at her foot.

HK: Missy Sr. you need to go to hospital.

A: There's no need, I only sprained it.

12 YR OLD: It doesn’t look like a sprain. It looks broken.

A: Nothing is broken.

The 12 year old offered her 20 bucks if she could get up and walk on it. HK decided to sweeten the pot by offering to work free for the whole entire summer. Now there was an offer to good to pass up! She tried walking and failed. Her foot at that point had become so swollen. The 3 year old knelt down and began poking her foot and sang:

3 YR OLD: This little piggy went to market--

A: Ow! Ow! Ow! No my little darling, please don’t do that.

The freckled twin {FT} leaned in and took a closer look.

FT: Holy smokes your baby toe is bent sideways.

We all leaned in and looked. He was correct, it was bent. Eww!

FT: You still think your foot’s not broke?

For obvious reasons I dislike hospitals but I had no choice.  I needed to take her there. There went my entire day.

ME: Come on, we're making a trip to the hospital.

A: It's not necessary. All I need to do is ice it and within a few hours the swelling will be down.

Un-frigging-believe! "A" had a bent toe attached to a foot she couldn't walk that swelled up to the size of a watermelon and still she kept insisting she was fine! And she calls me stubborn? Enough was enough! I’m not a doctor but even I could tell it was definitely more than a sprain. The twins and I helped her up and got her into the car. I drove sister to the hospital along with the NFT who said he wanted to come along.

Driving sister to the hospital was like taking a little child to the dentist. Aye-yi-yi! All I kept hearing is: "I don't want to go, I don't want to go" over and over again. I turned up the volume on the radio to drown her out. Once we arrived she refused to sit in the wheelchair. Thank God for the NFT because he managed to get her to sit down in one. After getting her registered the 3 of us sat in the ER’s waiting room for her name to be called. 6 other patients were ahead of us. The NFT had an odd look on his face and when I asked if he was alright he replied:

NFT: This is your ER?

I nodded yes.

NFT: 1 doctor and 3 nurses? That’s it?

Again I nodded yes.

NFT: Man is this place ever calm and puny. What happens if a maniac goes on a shooting spree and kills 12 people in your town?

ME: You’d have a much better chance of catching a leprechaun and seeing pigs fly all in the same day than seeing something like that ever happen here.

NFT: Hypothetically let’s say it did happen. What can 1 doctor with 3 nurses by his side possibly do?

I explained if an incident such as the one as he described ever took place the ambulance would drive the patients to the neighboring town’s hospital which is far more bigger.

ME: You ought to check out the hospital where mom and Pop work at, it’s chaos 24-7.

As he continued talking he took out his cell phone from his shirt pocket. At the same time one of the nurses stepped into the waiting room to call in the next patient. After she was done calling their name she said:

NURSE: Young man did you not read the sign?.......Young man?

ME: {whispering} I believe she’s talking to you.

The NFT who was fiddling around with his phone looked up at the nurse. She pointed to the wall behind us before stepping back into the ER. We both turned around and posted on the wall was a sign with a picture of a cell phone with a big red X on it. Underneath written in big block letters: NO CELL PHONES ALLOWED.

TWIN: I wasn’t about to make a call Nurse Ratched. I was only checking the time.

A: Aren’t you a little young to be familiar with Nurse Ratched?
   
TWIN: It’s Pop’s all time favorite film. He says at every hospital there is at least one grouchy nurse and that one is definitely yours. She probably eats her young too. 

Risking that Nurse Ratched could very well eat him alive for a snack he took out his phone again to call his parents so he could give them the 411 on sister but when he couldn't get a proper signal he instead took a picture of sister’s foot against her wishes. I looked at the picture and then took a look at the real live thing. Wow! Except for in cartoons I’d never seen anything like it before. If you were to examine your foot at this moment all your toes including your baby toe point straight, right? Just imagine if your baby toe on your right foot was bent all the way and just dangling there off to one side. That is the condition sister’s “sprained foot” was in. I knew by the look on her face she was in pain but she still would not admit to it. She wore a brave face that day and kept saying, “I’m okay darling.”

45 minutes later Nurse Ratched called “A’s” name who was wheeled away by an orderly to get her x-rays taken. 

....The loving nurse who may or may not eat her young made yet another appearance a short while later to let us know sister had returned from X-rays and was in exam room #4. As we made our way in to see her, the nurse kept a sharp eye on my house~guest. She stated:

NURSE: Remember, you cannot use your cell phone.

NFT: Thanks for the reminder sweetheart. You have yourself a great day now.

I couldn’t help but help giggle. Oh come on you have to admit it was funny.

ME: You’re cheeky.

NFT: I like to sprinkle sunshine around wherever I go.

In exam room 4 sister was laying on the bed with her leg propped up and her arms wide open waiting to give me a hug.

A: How are you doing darling?

ME: How am I doing? I should be the one asking you that.

A: I told you I'm going to be alright. I know you don’t like hospitals so thank you for being here with me.

ME: What did you think I was going to do, abandon you by the ER doors and drive away?

Hmm, now there was an excellent idea. Why didn’t I think of that earlier? I’m kidding! The x-rays confirmed what we all already knew: That bent toe of hers was indeed broken and she was lucky that was the only thing broken considering how badly banged up the rest of her foot was. The NFT took no time at all in rubbing it in.

NFT: I told you so. I told you it was broken. The minute I heard that cracking sound I knew it.

Unlike the time she broke her ankle which was a little more severe and resulted in her being on medical leave for several months, the ER doctor stated her broken toe would be mended within 3-4 weeks. After putting a splint on her baby toe she was instructed to keep her leg elevated when sitting and was required to walk with a cane, something sister wasn't too fond of and didn't think was necessary. The doctor disagreed. He said it was necessary for her to walk with a cane to avoid putting any weight on the injured foot.

I have been trying my best in getting a shot of sister's broke toe and haven’t had much luck thanks to the 3 yr old who keeps yelling at the top of his lungs, “CAMERA, CAMERA!!” Allow me to explain: Sister trained Squirt to yell whenever he sees me approaching her: “CAMERA, CAMERA!!” and to quickly stand in front of her foot therefore blocking my view. So anytime he now sees me even if I don’t have a camera in my hands he still shouts it. Not only that but he refuses to leave sister’s side. You should see the two of them chumming it up. All of a sudden he and big sister have become best buds. I guess the part of big sister not allowing him to have ice cream and me sneaking him a scoop totally slipped his mind. Can you believe this is how the Dutch-Icicle decides to repay me: by siding with the enemy? Where’s the loyalty, I ask? I got to hand it to “A” for training her little bodyguard very well.

I came up with a plan: I asked one of the 3 older boys if they could take a picture for me instead, after all she didn’t mention any of their names to Squirt, just mine. The 12 year old came through for me and he was able to capture one very interesting shot. 

The picture is not too clear but look carefully and you can see a person going up the stairs. The person? Squirt's new best friend. By the bottom of the stairs is her cane. Tsk, Tsk, Tsk.

Question: Why is "A" walking up the stairs without her cane? {We all unanimously agreed to call the cane "Hugo" after the company that manufactured it.}

Hugo is always suppose to be with sister especially when she is walking. But on Wednesday {one day after her injury} Hugo was nowhere near her. So why was Hugo not with sister when she was going up the stairs? Well, I precisely asked her that question during dinner out on the patio that same night. Sister insisted she has been using him whenever she walks. I looked at the 12 year old who grinned. I got up to retrieve my camera and showed her the picture.

ME: Liar! 

She was silent for a moment and I'm guessing it was because she was trying to come up with a clever story. The others wanted to see the picture so I passed around the camera.

A: I didn't think anyone was up yet. How did you take this picture without me knowing?

ME: My lips are sealed.


The 12 year old let out a tiny laugh and "A" looked at him.

A: Were you the photographer? Did she put you up to it?

He nodded no. The NFT who was sitting next to him took out his phone and sister inquired what he was doing. He replied he was "checking the time" but really he was sending a text message to his dad. His look-alike took a peak at the message and read it for all to hear:

“Pop-- big-sis is not using her cane.”

“A” rolled her eyes and let out a sigh. In under 30 seconds a reply came in.

NFT: Want me to read it out~loud or do you want to read it yourself?

HK was at the BBQ flipping hamburgers. Never~mind whether or not sister wanted the message read out loud or not, HK made it very clear what she wanted:

HK: I vote for out~loud!

And so he read it out~loud:

NFT: “Tell her if she doesn’t use it she’ll delay her healing and could make matters worse!!!!!!!”

Yes, the message came with 7 exclamation marks.

HK left left her grilling duties for a moment and with her spatula-free hand she gently tapped sister on the top of her head:

HK: Listen to doctor.

Hmm, I suppose this is one ailment HK knows vodka can’t cure.

****

My lovelies, it is with great sadness I blog this next part. 

Late Wednesday night an unexpected and massive rain storm mixed with excessively high winds and hail entered our region. Yesterday morning when HK went out into the garden to see if there was any damage done and to check and see if anyone’s patio furniture came flying into our yard, she came running back inside with bad news to tell me. Brace yourselves my lovelies......I'm getting a little choked up now.......again I urge you all to brace yourselves but HK found my cherished Topsy~Turvy tomato plant lying lifelessly on the ground.

The following images are graphic and maybe disturbing to some. Viewer discretion is advised.

The T.S.I. {Tomato Scene Investigator} was called on the scene. He determined the cause of death: Mother Nature. A warrant is now out for her arrest.

Upon further investigation the T.S.I. sat me down and shared disturbing news. When I was told I was mortified but glad I was sitting otherwise I might have fainted from the shock and could have easily broken a nail. I was let known a vital part of the deceased’s body was missing.

2 more TSIs were called in to search for the missing limb. It was found not too far from where the departed lay.

It was bagged and tagged as evidence. Later that same day the missing piece was released to me.

I would like to take this time now to say a few words about my tomato plant.

Ahem....I loved my tomato plant. Although HK was responsible for watering and feeding it everyday, I took care of its’ emotional needs by speaking softly and encouraging it to grow but it simply refused to.

I did not mourn the sad passing of my plant. I decided to celebrate it’s brief life by eating it.

HK made her delicious homemade salsa and added the tiny, unripened tomato into the mix. {The ripe tomato is store bought}

Salsa was served with Tostitos Scoops. Ole!

****

Monday we received the Topsy-Turvy Chili Planter and here is the picture of the planter taken from the official website:

Here is ours....Taa-daa!

As you can see both pictures have a remarkable resemblance. The picture was taken Monday afternoon. I realize it’s been a few days but I hope we have better luck growing chili peppers than we did tomatoes.


Mother Nature if you are reading this post I have a question: On stormy Wednesday why did you murder my tomato planter but permit my chili planter to live?

****

My loyal and dear readers it’s finally Friday and the last weekend of July.

Whatever your plans are have a marvelous weekend. ~x

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

The Boys Of Summer: The Stripper Who Wanted Ice Cream

Cocaine Princess here.

I blogged in previous entries about how I am adjusting {in a good way} to new things now that the house is filled with people. One thing I am getting use to is all the chatter that is constantly taking place in the house. There have been times when I'll be in another room and I hear people in the next room talking and I think, "did I leave the TV on?" Also, there is never a dull moment. Here's one incident that occurred earlier this week:

A couple of days ago sister asked if I could help the 3 yr old get dressed. I went into his room and picked out a really cute pair of beige colored shorts and a khaki colored golf-style t-shirt and when I couldn't decide on whether he should wear a baseball cap or a Gilligan style sun hat, I let him choose. He went for the baseball cap. He then asked about his socks. Since I'm always barefoot around the house I decided no socks for him either. I wanted him to feel the freedom of being able to wiggle his toes around. After getting him dressed, we both headed downstairs with me holding his hand. When we reached the bottom of the stairs he let go of my hand and began to trail slowly behind me. I told him to hurry otherwise his breakie would get cold. When I entered into the kitchen sister said to me:

A: I thought I told you to get the little darling dressed?

ME: I did.

A:Oh really?

With her eyes she gestured for me to turn around. So I did and what did my peepers see? Little Darling standing there in his birthday suit. The boy went commando! The only thing he was wearing: a smile and his baseball cap. I peaked around the corner and there lay his shorts, shirt and underwear on the floor in the foyer. I was astonished at how fast he managed to undress himself! My sister questioned why he took his clothes off? One of the twins already sitting at the kitchen table answered on his behalf. 


TWIN: Haven’t you heard? He’s training to be a stripper. Jump up on the table and show the ladies what you got.

TWIN#2: Yeah shake your money maker little buddy!

Sister picked up the naked toddler and attempted to put his clothes back on. If only I had my camera nearby to film it because it was too funny. He kept on fidgeting and wouldn't stand still and kept slipping out of her clutches! Honestly it was like watching a wrestling match: “WWE MONDAY NIGHT RAW: Squirt vs. Sister.” And if you were to place money on this particular match you’d probably put your money down on “A” right? Well, you’d lose big time if you did. Sister was only able to get his Buzz Lightyear underwear on. She asked:

A: You feel like eating breakfast in just your underwear today?

He nodded his little head yes. “A” picked him up and sat him down in the chair in between me and the 12 year old. HK cooked an amazing breakfast and thankfully for me she arranged a nice plate of fruit. Everybody was chowing down and talking about what was on schedule for that day.....all except for one. And who might that be you ask? It was the future Chippendales' dancer who wasn’t eating and sister inquired why. His answer:

3 YR OLD: I want ice cream.

A: No my little darling, it’s not ice cream time yet, it’s breakfast time.

3 YR OLD: I want ice cream.

A: You can have some ice cream after lunch for dessert. Right now you have to eat breakfast.

3 YR OLD: No.

The conversation ping ponged back and forth for a couple of more minutes. Last week I had taken him out for ice cream twice and was concerned maybe I had gotten him hooked on the creamy dessert but one of the brothers informed us that him wanting sweet things was not uncommon.

12 YR OLD: He does this at home too. Usually it happens right before his naps: ice cream, cookies, chocolates......you name it he wants it.

Sister requested one more time for him to eat his breakfast. Squirt’s reply:


He pushed his plate away, folded his arms and with mighty force stated:

“No! I want ice cream!”

And here I thought the wrestling match was over, only now it was taking place in verbal form. “A” stared at him and then she stared at me. As she got out of her chair and while still staring at me she said the following:

A: I’m having a flashback. He’s the male version of you at that age.

ME: What are you talking about? I never once exposed myself and then demanded ice cream.

I mean I don’t recall if I ever did.

A: I’m talking about him being stubborn. It was precisely at his age when your stubbornness began. I’m still waiting for the day when it will come to an end.

Sister stood over Squirt trying to unlock his sausage-like arms and was able to get the combination by tickling him a little. With his arms free she quickly put the fork into his right hand. She may have been able to unlock his arms but getting him to eat was a whole other story. He refused to open his mouth. It was zip-locked tight. Unfortunately she didn’t know the right combination to that one but did try her best.

A: Look at all this yummy food......Smells good......Will you please eat for me?......If you don't eat how will you become big and strong?

TWIN: She’s right Squirt. Women don’t put singles down skinny looking strippers. Can you say G-string? Say it little buddy: G-string! G-String!


Sister instructed the twin not to teach a word like that to him but it was too late. You know that old saying “monkey see, monkey do.” The tot kept repeating the word over and over again like a parrot and with his mouth open sister managed to get some food in there. Eventually the stripper-wannabee took control of the fork and began to eat on his own. 

As he ate he kept looking at “A” hoping she’d change her mind and perhaps allow him to have a bowl of ice cream but when she didn’t he began pouting. I even heard a low whimpering sound. Okay I admit it, the whimpering sound came from me. My heart sank looking at him. I glanced at “A” and gave her this type of look to suggest she ease up a bit. In return she gave me this look with her eyes that meant she wasn't going to and that’s when it became very clear to me that if she and her beloved ever decide to have children, she’s going to be one of those type of parents who does “everything by the book.” Yikes I shudder at being one of those types. As I ate I thought to myself, “Good grief sister cut the kid some slack. The boy is on vaycay. Seriously, what’s the harm in letting him have an itty-bitty scoop?”
 
Ultimately he did finish every last bite on his plate. I helped him out of his chair and running over to where “A” was sitting he proudly stated:

3 YR OLD: I finished. Look!

Patting him on the cheeks:

A: I knew you would because you’re a good little boy.

3 YR OLD: Can I have ice cream now?

A: I already told you no ice cream until after lunch. Do you remember me telling you that?

His response? Oh boy was it ever a good one and very dramatic too. He folded his arms again, stomped his chubby feet on the floor, marched out of the room and went into the family room where he sat on the floor sulking. I looked at the clock, it was 9am. The poor child would have to wait close to 3 hrs until lunch was served.

When everyone had cleared out of the kitchen including HK, I went over to Squirt who was still in his underwear and quietly asked:

ME: Psst, you still want ice cream?

3 YR OLD: Big sister said no.


ME: That’s because big sister is mean and bossy.

I’m kidding, I’m kidding I said no such thing. Here’s what I really said:

ME: This sister says yes. Yes, you can have ice cream.

My lovelies, do you remember the scene from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation when Clark Griswold finally gets his Christmas lights working {thanks to Ellen Griswold} after numerous failed attempts? If you do then you know all those light bulbs lit up the entire sky. That’s how bright little Squirt’s face was, it lit up like 10,000 bright bulbs. I took him into the kitchen where I propped him up on the counter and then took out a carton of ice cream from the freezer and a spoon from the drawer. As I removed the lid, I swore him to secrecy.

ME: You have to promise me you’re not going to tell anyone about this, especially Big Sister. You can’t tell her, okay?

He nodded that he wouldn’t. I wasn’t too sure at first if he was going to keep his promise or if he was going to like the taste of the flavor.

Mango. The exotic~tropical flavor is only available for a limited time up here.

I gave him a little bit and instantly received a verdict.

3 YR OLD: Mmm.

Upon hearing that I gave him one full spoonful and of course he requested another.

ME: If you want another, I want a kiss first.

I leaned in and putting his hands around my neck he kissed me. His lips were cold and mango-licious.


I decided it was best to stop at 2 spoons even though he wanted a 3rd. I poked his little tummy and as he giggled like the Pillsbury Dough Boy I explained that’s all I was going to give him otherwise he wasn’t going to have any room for lunch. And then he did something which I now realize deserves a hefty round of applause. He folded his hands as if he was about to pray and made a plea:

3 YR OLD: One more, pleeessse?

As soon as I heard him say that in an instant that oh so famous line from Charles Dicken’s classic Oliver Twist, “Please, sir, I want some more,” popped into my head. I could actually see Oliver’s face in Squirt, standing in line begging not for more gruel but ice cream. Once again my heart sank. I gave in. Believe me you would have done the same if you had seen his little face.

I gave him no more than 3 spoons and after he licked the spoon clean, I put my little amigo down and when I did he preformed this cute, little dance in his underwear while waving his hands in the air and then ran out of the kitchen.

I know it wasn't lunch time when I gave him ice cream but hey, it was lunch someplace in the world, right?

I do realize some of my lovelies who are parents are probably pointing your finger at me and saying, “Tsk, tsk, tsk, you never should have given him the ice cream. You were wrong Princess.” Hmm......maybe I was wrong......maybe I wasn't.

****

And now for something totally unrelated to this post:

My housekeeper is obsessed with infomercials. Anytime you catch her watching TV it’s a sure guarantee she’ll be watching an infomercial and because of it we have a cupboard full of items that she requested we order for her. Here are just a few: The Magic Bullet Blender, The Sham-Wow, The GT Express, The Slap Chop, The Pancake Puff, Adjust A Slice Mandoline Slicer, The Ove Glove, Hot Dish Grabber......you get the picture. Not too long ago she saw an infomercial for a gardening product: The Topsy~Turvy. Have you heard about this item? Taken directly from their website:

“Topsy Turvy tomato planter works in a simple yet ingenious way. As the sun warms the plant like a greenhouse, the root system explodes and thrives inside the planter. Because Topsy Turvy tomato planter is upside down, water and nutrients pour directly from the root to the fruit, giving you up to 30 pounds of deliciously ripe tomatoes per plant!”


HK wanted this item as badly as Squirt wanted ice cream for breakfast. I didn’t see the point when she could easily go to the grocery store and buy tomatoes but her heart was set on growing them instead.


Here is a picture taken from the website. This is what they promise your plant will look like:

My lovelies behold our Topsy~Turvy........

I know what you're all thinking: You can barely spot the difference between the 2 pictures!  I took the picture yesterday and it's been nearly 1 month and this is all that has been produced!

I do believe these tomatoes are worthy of winning a blue ribbon for Best Home Grown Tomatoes. What do you think? {You may have to zoom in on the picture to actually see the tomatoes.}

By the way, we’re still waiting to receive the Topsy~Turvy Hot Pepper Planter.

****

My loyal and dear readers it’s finally Friday.

Whatever your plans are have a magnificent weekend.-x

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

The Boys Of Summer: The Nun At Tim Horton's

Cocaine Princess here.

It’s been officially {counting today} 13 days living with The Boys of Summer.

When I first heard they would be spending the summer with us, my biggest concern was how to prevent them from dying of boredom. Had they been all girlie-girls there would have been no problem keeping them entertained: trips to the mall and spa days. Believe me none of the boys especially the 3 older ones aren’t remotely interested in doing any of that but thankfully we’re all getting along very well. I’m actually quite surprised at how much fun I’m having with them and even what is more surprising to me is that I’m participating in things I didn’t think I would enjoy doing. 


I’ve had quite a busy week with them and I thought I’d share with you part of a conversation that took place on Day 9:

Monday July 12th 2010

Monday morning housekeeper {HK} was sitting at the kitchen table feeding Butterball and the way she's been stuffing him with food I may have to change his name from Butterball to Basketball. Anyways, I could tell by the look on her face how tired and worn out she was. It’s been quite an adjustment for her as well. Usually she comes in 1-2x a week to clean and then cooks a meal for "A" and I. Now she is here 7 days a week cooking and cleaning 3-4x a day, and the two little ones require "all the time looking after" but sister helps out plenty in that department. My lovelies before I continue with this post I must share something:


If you recall from last Friday's post I mentioned how the boys have bit of a cheeky streak. Sometime last week HK was taking a siesta on the couch. The 12 year old {AKA The Prankster} being the sweet and angelic boy he is put his iPod headphones over her ears while she was napping and then turned on the volume at full blast! Well, you can imagine what HK’s reaction was. Luckily she has a great sense of humor because when her heartbeat resumed back to normal she had a good chuckle over the whole incident.

Now back to what I was blogging about:


.........but sister helps out plenty in that department. As HK continued feeding the 7mth old she made mention how she was in need of a good strong cup of coffee. A Tim’s double-double! I happily offered to go on a Tim's run for her and the 12 year old wanted to accompany me. Upon leaving HK had one more request:

HK: "And donuts. Bring back donuts, please."

When we arrived at Tim Horton’s the prankster and I decided to have a little something. We both ordered an icy fruit smoothie and an eclair. {I didn’t order the eclair}. After receiving our order we found a place to sit and began chatting about general things. As my houseguest was talking he stopped midway and diverted his eyes elsewhere. Curious to know what grabbed his attention I turned around and there was a nun, a young looking one, sitting by herself at a nearby table. The 12 yr old leaned in and quietly asked:

12 YR OLD: “What is that nun doing here?”

I did another quick look. I replied:

ME: By the looks of it she's enjoying a cup of coffee and having a snack like you.

12 YR OLD: “Is she allowed to do that?” 


I giggled at his question. I know there's a list of things nuns aren’t permitted to do but eating is not one of them. 

ME: “Yes, I’m quite sure they’re allowed to eat.” 

He then explained that's not what he meant.

12 YR OLD: “I thought they weren’t allowed to leave church grounds?”

ME: I’m not familiar with the nun’s handbook but I think they get some free time.”

12 YR OLD: “Are there a lot of them around here?”

I informed him a church that had been under construction for the past several months in our neighborhood was now open for service and it was more than likely she had come from there. The boy would not stop staring at her. It was like the nun's presence had some type of strange hold on him, so I had to ask if this was his first time ever seeing a live nun?!   

12 YR OLD: The only nuns I ever see are the ones in church during Christmas and Easter service. They're all so old and mean looking. I've never seen one chilling out at a coffee shop before.

ME: There's nothing too sinful about Tim Horton's so I think it's okay for her to be here.  
 
I take that back....their desserts are sinful, high in fat but very yummy. Then I noticed his pale Dutch-Icelandic complexion turning red.

12 YR OLD: “She smiled at me! What should I do?”


I suggested he smile back.

12 YR OLD: “Then she’s gonna think I like her.”

I couldn’t help but giggle again. Good grief the boy honestly thought the nun was showing some type of romantic interest in him.  I told him that wasn’t the case. It was simply nothing more than a polite-friendly-type-smile. I advised he just chill out and to more importantly finish his smoothie before HK called asking where her donuts and coffee were! Lately I've discovered she gets very cranky and moody these days without several daily shots of caffeine. His face then went from a blushed complexion to concern. In a panicky-like voice he said:

12 YR OLD: “She’s looking at me and getting up....Oh no she’s coming over here. Why?”


I made yet another look. And she was! The nun was heading in our direction. Teasing, I gave him the following response:

 ME: “She’s knows about the prank you pulled on HK and she’s come to give you a scolding now. I bet she even carries a ruler.”

The nun approached our table and greeted us by asking how we were doing, then pulled out a flyer from her canvas bag. A BBQ was taking place on Sunday in the church's parking lot after service. The 12 yr old's observant eyes noticed her MP3 player attached to the bag and questioned what type of music she listened to.  

NUN: “Usher, Natasha Bedingfield and The Black Eyed Peas.”

12 Year Old: “Cool......It was a pleasure meeting you.”

She smiled and left and went around to talk to some of the other customers while handing them a flyer also. The 12 yr old made the following remark to me before taking a bite into his eclair: 

“That’s one pretty cool, rocking nun.”

Back home he excitedly told his brothers about the encounter he had with the Nun and about the kind of music she listens to. One of the twins, the non freckled one asked:

“I wonder if she's seen Lady Gaga’s Alejandro?”

If you've seen the video you'll understand why he asked that.

*****

My loyal and dear readers it's finally Friday.

Whatever your plans are have a splendid weekend.-x

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

2010 World Cup, The Final Game: Octopus vs. Parakeet

July 12th 2010:
Good Monday morning my lovelies. More World Cup news:

Paul The Octopus is ready to retire.

****UPDATED-UPDATED****

5:40PM

After 114 minutes every player on Team Holland had been yellow carded, all except for one. After 116 minutes The Red Furies player #6 scored a goal.  Spain's Andres Iniesta celebrated his winning goal by saluting a player who recently died.

After scoring he took off his jersey to reveal a t-shirt underneath with the following written:

"Dani Jarque siempre con nosotros,"

Translation:

"Dani Jarque always with us"

"Espanyol defender Jarque suffered a heart attack before a pre-season game in Italy in 2009. He never played club football with Iniesta, but they were the same age as they rose through the Spanish national team ranks. The diminutive midfielder may have earned a yellow card for the gesture, but what better way to pay tribute to a lost friend." Soon after his goal, one of The Flying Dutchmen,  the only player by the way not to have been given a yellow card began to complain to the referee and was ultimately then given a yellow card! There were only 2 minutes remaining on the clock for the Dutchies to score.

.......And so: The Spain Reign! LA FURIA ROJA have won their first ever World Cup!! Viva Espana!

To quote the commentator: "DESOLATION FOR THE DUTCH! A BITTER PILL FOR THEM TO SWALLOW BUT ABSOLUTE ECSTASY FOR THE SPANIARDS."

FINAL SCORE:

"WORLD CUP 2010 FIFA WORLD CUP FINALS"

NETHERLANDS VS. SPAIN

0-1

The awards presentation took place. The Dutch Royal family was there to hand out silver medals to Team Netherlands and to congratulate the players for a job well done, including one for the team's coach who promptly removed it from around his neck once leaving the podium. 

Following that, The President of South Africa and FIFA presented the World Cup trophy to Team Spain. Ole! Ole! Ole!

To quote the boys of summer: "The game was fixed!"

They took off their jerseys moments ago & said to me:

"Housekeeper can wash these now." 


****UPDATED****

4:44PM

Today was the finals:

The question: Did the Spain Reign or Did Orange Rule The Field?

Answer: In the first half, 5 yellow cards were given! 3 to the Dutchies and 2 went to the Red Furies. By the end of the 1st half neither team scored.

By the end of the 2nd half, still no goal.

The game has gone into overtime. It's already been 107minutes and #3 Netherlands player has been red carded. 

****

Cocaine Princess here.

Yes my lovelies you read the title to my post correctly! By now you've all heard about that seer sucker octopus, right? The ink filled creature has made his prediction who will win the World Cup. So, do you agree with his prediction?

Paul has been making quite a bit of news for being spot on correct but now if you can believe it, he's been receiving death threats. Yes my lovelies, again you read that correctly, an octopus has been receiving death threats. If you can hear me I'm giggling. Good grief! The article is here.


That isn't the only news involving the psychic octopus. He now has a rival, and he's got wings. Meet Mani the Parakeet.  

The bird from Singapore is predicting Holland is going to win the 2010 World Cup. That article is here. 


Now onto the game!!


The 2010 World Cup kicked off in South Africa on June 11th, 2010. 736 players representing 32 teams were competing for the World Cup trophy in games held in ten stadiums across South Africa. This year's cup has been unlike no other because of the teams we thought would make it didn't AND who can forget about the referring controversy?  Even worse, those frigging vuvuzelas! Sheesh they were frigging annoying!


It's Sunday July 11th, 2010 and the day has finally arrived: THE FINAL GAME OF THE 2010 WORLD CUP. It will be played in Soccer City, Johannesburg.  

VS.

It's a European showdown between THE FLYING DUTCHMEN and LA FURIA ROJA.

"Prior to this game, the Netherlands and Spain had never met each other before in the main tournament stages of either a World Cup or a European Championship and neither team has ever won a World Cup final before."


I ask you my lovelies, who are you cheering for? Team Netherlands or Team Spain? There's no need to tell you what team my house is cheering for: The Flying Dutchmen Baby! Like I really have much of a choice especially now that the boys of summer are staying with me, right? I didn't realize how superstitious the boys are:


On Friday housekeeper was doing laundry and the boys refused to give her their sacred orange jerseys. Seriously it was like watching a game of tug o' war. They explained they've worn them each time their team played and therefore consider it lucky. They honestly believe if housekeeper put their lucky jerseys in the washing machine before Sunday's big game their orange team would have bad luck.  But wait, their superstition doesn't end there: 


Along with wearing their jerseys while watching the game back home in Houston they drank Fanta and made a request before they arrived we would supply them with the drink. Each time Team Netherlands won, they were in their lucky shirts and drinking Fanta {including their last match that secured them into the finals}. So, I passed along the message to housekeeper. 

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to find that drink up here? According to housekeeper:


"Next to impossible, missy jr! I go crazy looking for it!"

Poor housekeeper was on a 2 day scavenger hunt trying to find the stuff. She was able to locate it in one of those private corner /newspaper stores in the city and bought what looks like a lifetime supply because there's so many in the fridge right now, there's hardly any room for my delicious Diet Dr. Pepper!

****

There was quite an amusing article in the city's newspaper. One of the sports reporters who is covering the game from South Africa came up with his own FIFA ranking called:

“FIFA, SHMIFA” 

"The comprehensive fake ranking of the World Cup’s teams is 90 per cent based on the subjective calculations of one small brain working out of a bunker in the northern suburbs of this city. An octopus contributed the other 10 per cent. No. Not that octopus." 


1. CHILIE: If soccer was invented by a hyperactive 8-year old, this is how it would be played – non-stop offence leavened with UFC-style violence. We’d like to think that Toronto tear-gassing at the U-20 World Cup played some small, helpful role.


2. SOUTH AFRICA: Anyone who was here for the tournament remembers three days. The three days you played.

3. GHANA: Unwise to cheap you on this list, since every cab driver in this country is keeping score of who is, and who isn’t, for Africa.

4. URUGUAY: If we promise never to mention cannibalism again, can we be friends?

5. SPAIN: Stop complaining. How many trophies does one country need?
 
6. NETHERLANDS: Football is a simple game. Pass the ball. Pretend you like each other. You finally figured that out.

7. GERMANY: Mueller and friends. Does that hurt? The truth usually does.

8. NORTH KOREA: Now you can tell the proletariat you were top ten at something. Or, at least, now you can tell them that, and it’ll also be true.

9. UNITED STATES: Thanks for proving the sport’s relevance in our backyard. And for your fans.

10. SLOVENIA: Gave us the tournament’s best game, a frenetic 2-2 draw with our southern cousins.

11. ARGENTINA We hate being fooled. But we can’t stay mad at Diego. Or Messi, who didn’t score, but delivered.

12. SLOVAKIA: For proving that no one – not even Italy – gets to swagger into the knockout rounds on reputation alone.

13. AUSTRALIA: After the way you were manhandled in that opener against Germany, props for even showing up for the second match.

14. SOUTH KOREA: The only side on which all players run all the time. The goalkeeper puts up about 8 km a match.

15. SERBIA: They have the win over Germany to cling to. But of the teams with real quality here, the biggest disappointment.

16. MEXICO: Got slightly splattered with beer flung by your fans when you scored the tying goal in the opener. Now we’re even.

17. PORTUGAL: Be honest. Don’t you feel silly about calling that truce with Brazil?

18. HONDURAS: Canada probably could’ve gone goal-less here, too. So maybe next time you want to scootch over and let someone else give it a go.

19. IVORY COAST: You know that ‘Africa’s Greatest Hope’ plaque we gave you a while back? Can you mail it to Ghana?

20. PARAGUAY: A respectful nod for resilience. And that’s it.

21. SWITZERLAND: You’ll always have that victory over Spain. And the two dreary bores that followed.

22. BRAZIL: How about we all stop handing this thing to you guys six months before the tournament starts. Okay, we’ll start doing that after the next one.

23. ENGLAND: It’d be cruel fun to laugh at your pain, if we ever had a chance to do anything else.

24. ALGERIA: Sorry? You were? Didn’t even notice you.

25. DENMARK: Ditto. You need a better explanation? All right. You had good hair.

26. GREECE: You keep qualifying for these sorts of things. Why not start playing like you want to enjoy them?

27. NIGERIA: It wouldn’t be the first team that deserved to be disbanded. It’d just be the first one that doesn’t play in Toronto.

28. ITALY: You were awful. But now that you’ve bombed out, you’re our new sentimental favorite. Poor old Italy. That sounds nice.

29. CAMEROON: Along with North Korea, the only team here who didn’t notch a point. You did realize this was in Africa, right?

30. JAPAN: That dreadful quarterfinal with Paraguay consumed 120-plus minutes of several hundred million lives. Combined, that time that could have been used to invent a viable alternative to fossil fuel.

31. NEW ZEALAND: Stop talking about being undefeated. You had three shots on goal. Three. Shots. This isn’t rugby.

32. FRANCE: I admit it. I hated you. Watching you flounder made me feel bettter. Let’s start over next time. Leave Thierry Henry at home.

****

Even though my team, TEAM BRASIL didn't make it to the finals and win the cup, no worries because they will in 2014. GO BRASIL BABY GO IN 2014!!

To all my loyal and dear readers/soccer fans out there who have been taking the time to read my World Cup posts, I thank you from the bottom of my latin heart.  Enjoy today's game. 


May the best team win and we shall see who that is very soon.
 
XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

The Boys Of Summer: Dutch Treats

\

 Cocaine Princess here.

What comes to mind when you hear “The Boys of Summer?” Baseball? That black and white video from the 80's? For me it means:

14 year old twins
a 12 year old
a 3 year old
a 7 month old

Count the above. The total is 5 right? The above mentioned are spending the summer with sister and I, and when I say "spending the summer" I do mean for the entire summer. They arrived from Houston, Texas on Saturday and will depart back home near Labour Day.

So why are 5 boys staying with us? They and their parents are very near and dear close family friends of ours. Both parents are medical doctors and will be teaching at a medical seminar at the university in the city, and while they are doing their teaching thingy their precious boys will be staying with us.

My house has officially become testosterone central.


It’s been quite an adjustment these last few days. Usually the house is so calm and quiet. I'm use to the quietness and having my privacy but with our summer guests that’s not the case anymore. My quietness and privacy have been thrown out the front window until September. I really don't mind. The house has become so alive and incredibly vibrant and I welcome this warm and lovely change with open arms. For starters, at every meal every chair at the kitchen table is now occupied by a blond blue eyed male and there’s even a high chair! Housekeeper has moved in with us also to help out and let me tell you she’s been having a grand ole time cooking and cleaning for 7 people. Hmm, make that cooking for 6. I don't eat that much.


The twins and the 12 yr old took no time at all settling in and making themselves feel at home. When they saw the satellite dish all they wanted to know was one thing:


“You guys pick up ESPN?”

“Probably,” I replied.


I don’t ever watch the channel. The soccer games are shown on another station. Apparently we do pick up ESPN along with 10 other sports related channels I wasn’t aware of.


Remember where I just wrote: the twins and the 12 yr old took no time at all settling in and making themselves feel at home? The twins are sharing a room and they must have packed in their suitcases hundreds of magazine cut outs because one side of the bedroom wall is plastered with pictures of scantily clad actresses. The 12 yr old who has his own room has put up pictures of various sports athletes and believe me if I could tell you who they were I would but I didn’t recognize any of them. And no, there is no picture of David Beckham.


Then there is the 3 yr old. What an enthusiastic little guy! So bright and always asking questions. His older brothers refer to him as squirt and tease him to no end but I suppose that’s normal since I too was teased by my sibling. What am I saying, she still teases me!


And last but not least: the baby, who I refer to as butterball because truly that's what he is. He’s so round and pudgy. The first couple of days he was a little hesitant in allowing me to pick him up. When I would he'd begin to fuss and cry but now that he sees my face everyday that’s changed. His nursery is right down the hall from my bedroom. In the mornings before I go for my run I find myself going into his room to tickle his tummy and to blow him a kiss.


Monday I went to bed pretty late, it was close to 2am and before going to my room I made a trip into the nursery to take a peak at him. Oh my goodness! Baby Butterball was sound asleep wearing a creme colored romper and sucking away on his soother. I had this sudden urge to want to pick him up and kiss him and so I did. I carefully, and making sure I wouldn’t wake him up I plucked him out of the crib and softly kissed him a few times on the forehead......Okay it may have been more than a few kisses because unfortunately he woke up. Oops! Hey who knew my sweet latin smooches would have disturbed his slumber! I tried cradling him back to sleep with no luck. There’s a baby monitor in the nursery and the 2nd unit is in housekeeper’s bedroom. Well, she came racing in and taking the baby from my arms she said in a very stern voice:


“I hear you on monitor. You woke up baby– why?”


Before I had a chance to answer she promptly ordered me out of the room! No worries, she was able to get the butterball back to sleep in no time. But I did hear her say this to the babe:


“Missy Jr. is bad for waking you up.” 


There’s no teenage drama nor is there any teen angst among the the twins or the 12yr old. I truly enjoy their company and having them around the house. At first I thought I was going to have a hard time telling the twins apart but thankfully one of them has a tiny freckle under his eye and the other doesn't which has made things so much simpler. All are well behaved, well mannered, polite, have a great sense of humor and are very easy to get along with but...... yes there is a but.......but they do have a cheeky side. Here’s an example:


The brothers from Houston have a dual heritage. Their father is Dutch and their mama is Icelandic. {Something funny: the 3yr old has trouble saying the word Icelandic so the 12 year old taught him to say this: “I’m half icicle.”} Anyways, like me they too are obsessed with the World Cup. Who are they rooting for? Team Orange!! Last Friday Holland played against The Samba Kings. A few days before I told the twins on the phone Brazil was going to win. To be honest my exact words were: Brazil is going to beat the shorts off of Holland. I even went as far as to say Brazil was going to win the golden statue. Well, we all know the outcome of that particular match. Saturday night when they arrived the boys came not only wearing their Orange jerseys but they came bearing gifts. "Dutch treats," they said. See pics below: 


Gift #1: A dolly wearing a traditional Holland outfit and with it came a tiny note that read: “Sorry for your loss” Love, XXXXX, XXXXX, & XXXXX.

  

She even comes with wooden clogs:

Gift #2: A key-chain with an orange soccer shoe, several little Holland flags AND can you see the shiny item to the left?

Here is a close up:

It’s a mini replica statue of the World Cup to indicate Team Netherlands will take it home. When they played the semi-finals on Tuesday against Team Uruguay, during the team's national anthem they requested I stand with them and I did. Even the squirt joined in on the fun! He climbed onto one of the twins' back and was waving a tiny Holland flag. When the match began they all began chanting HUP HOLLAND HUP! I questioned what that meant?

Hup Holland Hup is a Dutch football song. They proudly sang it to me in Dutch and then in English:

Go Holland Go {Hup Holland Hup}
Don't make the lion look foolish

Go Holland go
Release the animal

Go Holland go
Don't let them take you back

Because the lion wearing football shoes
Can take on the whole world

My house was pandemonium central with all the cheering when it was announced their team made it to the finals!! My God I just had a random thought: I can't imagine what Sunday will be like in my house if the Netherlands win the final match!

Just as they have a cheeky side the boys have a soft side too. Anyone who knows me will tell you I love the James Bond movies. Out of all the actors to portray the OO7 agent, Roger Moore is my ultimate favorite. My top 3 James Bond films: 

The Spy Who Loved Me 

Octopussy 

A View To A Kill


And so they bought me another gift:

How awesome! The game features the official 007 movies from “Doctor No” to “Quantum of Solace.”

There are 6 pewter game pieces: Zorin's Airship, Poker Chip, Q Boat, Octopus, Moon Buggy and Moonraker Shuttle: 

  
Instead of 'Community Chest' and 'Chance' cards, you get 'Bond Allies' and 'Bond Enemies' cards, with a Card Decoder to reveal your fate.

'Bond Allies'

 'Bond Enemies' 

You place the card decoder on the opposite side of the card to reveal the message.
I couldn't get a clear shot but it says: Advance 2 spaces and collect 150 pounds.

The 'Railroad' stations have been replaced with 'Octopussy's Circus Train', 'Orient Express', 'Pendolino Train' and the 'Janus Armored Train'.

The money is in British currency, but all notes have a Bond character pose on them.

The game board is customizable with over 50 Bond locations and by using the removable labels every game can feature different locations.

 We opened it up one night and played a round. Sheesh, I can't remember the last time I played a board game. We all had a lot of fun.

So, which out of the 6 pieces did I choose?

Zorin’s Airship of course!! 

****

WORLD CUP 2010

Tomorrow there is another soccer match for 3rd place:

Uruguay vs. Germany

Sunday July 11th is THE BIG GAME where we shall see who will be crowned the winners: TEAM ORANGE or TEAM SPAIN.

My lovelies check back here on Sunday for a special World Cup post.

                                                              ****



My loyal and dear readers it's finally Friday.

Whatever your plans are have a fabulous weekend.-x
 

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess