Friday, July 1, 2011

Part 2: "What Made Me Say That"

Cocaine Princess here.

As promised the exciting and continuing saga of “What Made Me Say That.”

To review:

I was always under the impression humans have evolved a long way since the days of the caveman but after the spectacle I witnessed it became clear to me traces of caveman DNA are still present in some humans today. The entire cash area came to a stand still as grown adults fought over a spot in line which prompted the cashier to pick up her phone and over its’ intercom stated the following:

“Security ASAP to Lane 2! Security ASAP to Lane 2!”

I looked at sister and said:

ME: Thanks to you we're going to be on an episode of COPS.


A: She didn't call 911, she called for the store’s security but.....

ME: But what?

A: But if she had called COPS it could have meant your debut on national television.

Sister chuckled. Hmm, I guess what she heard come out of her mouth was comical. The comedy bug must have bitten her hard that day as she continued:

A: I would have even thrown you a little party in honor of you being on TV and called up
Buddy Valastro   to make you a special cake in the shape of a police car.

Once more she chuckled and this time as if what she said was the funniest thing of the year. Personally I didn’t find one thing humorous about it, then again I never do especially when she’s teasing me.

Anyways, let’s analyze the situation:

Guy with scope bottle and box of tissues butted his way in front of the line because he felt since he had less items than most of the other customers in line he should be served first. The woman he cut in front of, Full Cart Woman who more or less gave him a public verbal lashing ordered him to get back to his spot and when he tried, the customer who was now there also with a full cart, refused. And now they were arguing!

I’ve seen customers lose their tempers before but only during the Yuletide season and never in the month of June. What they were arguing over was something so ridiculous you couldn’t help but think: “My God, What Morons.”

Before any punches started to fly 2 security guards arrived. Marching right past the arguing morons they headed straight to the cashier where one of them asked:

SECURITY GUARD #1: You called, is there a problem?

Good Grief! Never mind the fact that everyone’s eyes were focused on the 2 morons BUT they were arguing quite loud so how could they have not known what the problem was?  Okay, they might not have known exactly why they were arguing but come on! Upon hearing his question I was convinced the security guard must have graduated near the top of his class.

The cashier pointed to the troublemakers and explained the situation. After she was finished Security Guard #2 pointed at them while asking a crucial question:

SECURITY GUARD #2: Those 2 individuals right there are the ones you are referring to?

"No, she's actually referring to the man on the moon! Hey genius, do you see anyone else arguing? NO! So who else do you think she's talking about?" I thought to myself. "Perhaps the cashier should have drawn him a sketch of the arguing customers along with a map and arrows!"  As the two approached closer I got a good look at them. I'm not kidding when I say they both looked as if they had just woken up from a nap and one of the security guard's hair: either he had gone a bit wild with the hair gel or his hair was just plain greasy but whatever the case his black curls were in desperate need of a good shampooing. I turned to sister and asked what she thought. Her reply:

She didn't say a word. Sister just looked at me and rolled her eyes. Hey, what can I say? Aside from being fashion conscious, hygiene is very important to me.  The troublemakers were ejected from the line and hauled away, cart included! I really don’t know where they were hauled off too. Hmm...maybe the department store had a holding cell where customers are taken until they cool off? To be honest I really wasn’t too interested in what happened to them. I had something else on my mind.....

To Be Continued......


My loyal and dear readers it's finally Friday!

It’s the first long weekend of the summer for us and that means celebrating Canada Day {Fête du Canada}. And now for the history portion of my amazing post: 

Canada Day is the national day of Canada, a federal statutory holiday celebrating the anniversary of the July 1, 1867, enactment of the British North America Act (today called the Constitution Act, 1867), which united three British colonies into a single country, called Canada, within the British Empire.

In my last couple of entries I’ve been posting music videos, mostly Madonna. Since it's Canada Day I decided to post a Canadian artist. One of the current hits up here is a song by Alyssa Reid featuring P. Reign who re-did the song “Alone” {and made a few minor changes} by Ann and Nancy Wilson of the rock group “Heart.” 


It’s past midnight and I'm wide awake unable to fall asleep. Lately that's becoming the story of my life. My sweet tooth convinced me to indulge in a little late night snack:

Housekeeper brought this delicious strawberry shortcake. As you can see from the right hand side of the picture, using my finger I scraped off and ate some of the frosting {one of the few exceptions where utensils are not necessary when eating} and devoured one incredible juicy strawberry.

Okay you got me, it was more than one.

If any of my readers happen to live in the Great White North: “Happy Canada Day!!” 

If not: “Happy Canada Day....To Me!!”

To my readers down south, on Monday: “Happy 4th of July!”

 Whatever your plans are have a spectacular and safe long weekend.~x

Cocaine Princess


Anonymous said...

canadian music has come along way, eh, since anne murray, eh?

Anonymous said...

The majority of dept. store guards are lazy- it does not surprise me if they were asleep.

Anonymous said...

The rap artist totally ruins the song.

Cocaine Princess said...

Anonymous at 9:36,
Hmm, I like it. I think the rap portion blends quite well into the song.