Friday, October 19, 2012

The Idiot Wedding Planner: Laugh or Cry?

Cocaine Princess here.

Just when we thought there was light at the end of the tunnel we were all thrown back into the pit. Out of the frying pan and into the fire! According to the maintenance worker a pipe had burst. The water was ankle deep. Several other maintenance workers were in the banquet room trying to fix the problem. Even if they had gotten rid of the water there still was the problem of the carpet being soaking wet and if that wasn't bad enough, the sprinklers in the room went off-- apparently there was some type of electrical malfunction. The decorations were destroyed. Long story short, the room resembled a swamp and was in no condition to party.

The Panamanian was furious. His face had become so red and given his weight I was concerned his next move would involve him grabbing his left arm and yelling 911. We all looked to the clueless wedding planner who at this point looked like a deer caught in the headlights. She made contact with the resort's manager who expressed his sincere apologies. When asked if there was another banquet hall (by the way, the question was asked by the bride and not by the wedding planner) the manager replied yes and no. Yes, there was another room available but it could only accommodate no more than 20 people and as for the other available rooms, they were already in use. We all just stood there huddled in the corridor. The manager made a suggestion-- to use one of the enormous penthouse suites.

Holding the reception in the penthouse turned out to be a fabulous idea. It was 4000 square feet of luxurious living and 2000 square feet larger than the suite Valentina and I were staying in which lead her to complain to daddy why he didn’t book the ultra penthouse suite for us. 
With the help of the staff furniture was moved, all the food that was to be served during the reception was brought upstairs by the catering staff, 2 bartenders arrived to provide relief to all those who were in need of a stiff drink and to one side the DJ set up his equipment. All was going well except for one teeny, tiny thing. The wedding cake. It had gone missing. Wow, the clueless wedding  planner really had her work cut out for her! First, she decided that holding an outdoor wedding in the blistering heat was acceptable. Second, nearly blinding her guests with an all white wedding theme. I never did find out exactly whose idea it was to go with an all white wedding theme, Topless Barbie or the wedding planner herself. Third, not objecting to Flakey Barbie singing at the wedding. Fourth, the flooded reception room. Okay, that wasn’t entirely her fault but for a wedding planner she wasn’t a very good one. Getting back to the missing cake– it was last seen in the freezer of the resort’s kitchen.  Thankfully it didn’t take long for the cake to be located. It was spotted by hotel security. Yes my Lovelies, security became involved in the case of the missing cake. You’d think a child had gone missing! I guess somebody didn’t get the memo about the reception being held indoors because the cake was located outdoors, to be more specific where the wedding took place. When the cake was brought into the suite there was yet another problem which made Topless Barbie very upset.  

VALENTINA: Oh my God, what now?

First, there was a big chunk missing from the cake. According to the security guard who located the cake, two children were eating it with their little fingers. A cake left out in the open at a kid friendly resort, it was bound to happen, right? Second, the cake’s icing was done in chocolate and not in vanilla and because it had been left out in the sun the six tier cake was leaning to one side. Topless Barbie demanded to know why the cake’s icing was brown instead of white. All eyes went to the brilliant wedding planner who swore up and down she specifically told the cake decorator to ice the cake in vanilla frosting. Once the Panamanian was able to calm his wife, the best man, The Panamanian’s son made a toast. About 30 seconds into his speech the top two tiers of the cake toppled over and fell onto the floor. I looked at the bride. Poor thing didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.


I love Halloween. I love everything about it especially the horror movie marathons that air during the month of October. It’s always fun to scare yourself silly. AMC has Fear Fest, 19 straight days of horror movies. One of the movies I saw was “The Frighteners.” As you know I love music. I believe listening to music can do wonders for your health. Anyways, during the credits a song played that caught my ears' attention. Googling the movie’s soundtrack I came to discover it was an oldie, “Don’t Fear The Reaper” by Blue Oyster Cult. Some of you are probably aware of the song and wondering what planet I’ve been living on since I’ve never heard of it until now, but in my defense I didn't grow up in the 70s era. If you haven’t heard it yet it’s worth a listen to. Between 2:33 to 3:36 is an amazing instrumental interlude.


My loyal and dear readers, it's finally Friday.

Whatever your plans are have a phenomenal weekend. ~x

Cocaine Princess 



Miss Caught Up said...

Oh, goodness. What a crappy wedding planning. I could probably do a better job than her!

By the way, great song choice! :) I've heard the slower version of the song remade by Gus. It was in the movie Scream :)

Enjoy :)

Cocaine Princess said...

Miss Caught Up at 12:35,
Crappy is an understatement! Yes, given your style sense you probably would and could have done a better job.

I've seen the Scream franchise but I don't remember the song which by the way I'm loving. Thank you for sharing --it's awesome. Love the use of the guitar strings.

Miss Stormy Marples said...

Too funny. Oh my the tragedy of it all.

I love the pink dress in ur pic.

Cocaine Princess said...

Miss Stormy Marples 3:23
Thank you. I wore that dress on the long {Harvest} weekend.

Red Shoes said...

'Don't Fear The Reaper'... I LOVE that song... I agree with you about music soothing us... lessening our tensions.

I also love 'Twilight Zone'... by Golden Earring...

I hope you've had a great week...


nancy john said...

Nice post about Wedding Planners it is good news for peoples who want marry.