Cocaine Princess here.
We all have those late night thoughts, you know the ones that come creeping in your head when you’re trying to fall asleep. When I’m laying in bed I try quieting my mind by imagining a blank screen but soon words begin to appear on that screen and then those words turn into sentences. These sentences are my thoughts. I suspect Mr. Sandman is responsible for this malicious act. Most people get sprinkles of sand from him to help them fall asleep and ensure sweet dreams. I on the other hand have the Sandman whispering never~ending thoughts into my head--- and it's these thoughts that keep me up and prevent me from sleeping. It’s not like I’m thinking about anything deep or serious such as, When will the crisis in the Middle East end? Will there ever be world peace? Here are a few of the things that came popping into my mind one restless night: Why won’t they sell Cookie Crisp cereal in the Great White North? Whatever happened to “Flamin' Hot” flavored Cheetos? Which then led me to this thought: Why are Cheetos so dusty? Good Grief, even my thoughts have thoughts! The orange dusty residue always accumulates on my hands as I eat them leaving a trail of orange fingerprints around the house.
Some nights when I'm not staring at the ceiling I'll be staring at my alarm clock watching the digits change minute by minute which leads me to wonder-- Why are all the digits on a digital clock always red, neon green or blue? Why not pink or purple? One sleepless night the classic show Gilligan's Island entered in my thoughts. If it was a 3hr boat tour why did Ginger bring along so many suitcases filled with evening gowns and why did the Howells pack their money in suitcases or for that matter why did they bring along their money in the first place? When I couldn’t come up with any logical answers the theme song began to play in my head. For the remainder of the night the song remained on damn replay.
It the above isn't proof enough the Sandman hates me continue reading on:
Earlier in the week I recalled a joke someone had told me awhile back but completely forgot what the punchline was. The timing couldn’t have been worse-- I was laying in bed fully relaxed and almost to the point where I was about to fall asleep. Really Mr. Sandman, have you no sympathy? Anyways, this was the joke: Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? My phone was laying on the night-stand and as tempted as I was to google the answer I refused because I knew after googling I’d be checking my tweets and then my email. My mind drew a complete blank. Had it been any other night a blank mind would have been perhaps the perfect thing to help lull me to sleep! So there I lay in bed tossing and turning while trying to remember the answer to the joke. Soon my tossing and turning became sheer frustration. I gave up and muttered, you win, Sandman. Needless to say I didn't get a wink of sleep that night. Two days later while working out on the treadmill it suddenly hit me and I remembered the punch line to the joke.
Because they taste funny!
There's an old legend, "When You Can't Sleep At Night, It's Because You're Awake In Someone Else's Dream." If that's true than someone's been really thinking/dreaming about me. I'm truly flattered whoever you are but can you please do me a sweet favor-- for just one night allow me to have a really good night's sleep. Thank You.
It's Super~Bowl XLVII weekend, Ravens vs. 49ers. I'm not a huge football fan so I have no idea which team is going to win. I'm only watching the game for the commercials (cost of US$4 million for 30seconds), the half~time show and of course the food. We haven't officially decided yet but I think we'll be dining on pizza and wings and Diet Dr. Pepper will be the beverage of choice for yours truly.
My loyal and dear readers, it's finally Friday. Hey, it's the start of a brand new month.
Whatever your plans are have an awesome Super~Bowl weekend and may your team win. ~x