March Madness: From Dr. Evil to The Tax Man Cometh

 

Cocaine Princess here.

It's Spring Break! Judging by the weather you wouldn't really know. Mother Nature continues sending cold weather our way. I didn't have anything special planned but here's a rundown of some of the things that went down this past week.

Sunday March 11th: Dr. Evil
Sunday morning the house alarm went off at the exact moment I was about to add a little more pepper to my scrambled eggs. I looked at sister and she looked at me. We didn't understand what was going on since the alarm wasn't even on. Within seconds the phone rang. The alarm company was on the other end explaining there was a problem with one of the motion detectors on the main floor. It was malfunctioning. I punched in our code on the keypad in hopes the annoying high-pitched screeching sound would stop. When it wouldn't the alarm company was able to stop it from their end. They scheduled a booking for the technician to come out the next day and was informed he would be there between the hours of 9-4. Brilliant! An 7 hour window. Well there goes my Monday.......until I remembered school was closed for spring break which meant sister was off from teaching. Being the thoughtful person that I am I decided to hand over the job of sitting around the house to her while I would go out. Sister was unable to fulfll my request on account of some type of rendez-vous of her own. I accused her of sabotaging my Monday plans on purpose. I didn't have anything planned. I just didn't want to wait around the house and have the day go to waste.

A: Yes darling, I admit it. I masterminded the whole thing. When you weren't looking I tinkered around with the motion detector so it would go off this Sunday morning. I then phoned the alarm company and asked if they would do me a big favor--- to purposely schedule an 7 hour window and then made plans for myself so I wouldn't be here tomorrow. Dr. Evil would be proud.

Sister went back to eating her breakfast. She was of course being her usual sarcastic self. I tried to think of a witty comeback but couldn't so I picked up where I had left off. I went back to peppering my eggs and then complimented sister on the delicious breakfast she had made. 


Monday March 12th: Are You Frigging Kidding Me? 
Sister left the house at around 9:30am and mentioned I probably wouldn't have to wait long.

A: I bet he gets here by noon.

My mistake for not placing money on this bet because guess what? Noon came and went. No techie guy. Tick tock, tick tock....... 2 hours later still no techie guy. When 3:30 rolled around I called the alarm company to find out if techie guy was on his way. When the customer service rep checked she realized whoever made the initial appointment did a double booking with the technician. The computer automatically bumped our appointment to the next day.

ME: Are you frigging kidding me?!

Yes, those were my exact words. The customer service woman apologized several times. I asked if anyone was available to come out now.

CUSTOMER SERVICE: Unless it's an emergency our technicians work only until 5pm.

Only one of the detectors wasn't working and because the rest of the alarm itself was working fine, it didn't quite qualify as an emergency. Needless to say I wasted an entire day for nothing.

Tuesday March 13th: A Loud Symphony Of Honking
During the winter nights I like to keep my bedroom window open just a smidgen to let the fresh air enter. Very early Tuesday morning I was laying in bed trying my best to fall asleep. Somewhere between tossing and turning I began to hear geese honking very loudly. Yes you read that correctly. My initial reaction was, why are geese flying at this hour of the night?! I got out of bed to look out the window. I couldn't see them but I could certainly hear them. I decided to head to sister's room and question her about it. There she lay sleeping so peacefully. Apart of me felt bad disturbing her slumber to discuss the subject of geese. I came close to not waking her up but thought, why not? It's not like she has to get up and go to work tomorrow.

A: What?!

Sister was a tad bit groggy. I told her once more about the geese.

A: You woke me up for that?

ME: I'm curious-- where do you suppose they're going at this hour?

A: Darling, I don't know. Maybe they're going to an all night rave.

ME: Can they even see at night time?

A: Why don't you flag one of them down and ask it? Do me a favor and go back to bed. Good night.

She settled back under the covers and I returned back to my room where I struggled to fall asleep.

Afternoon: The Tax Man Cometh
I was dreading this day because it was The Tax Man Cometh day. I wasn't so much dreading the tax man. It was sister who I was dreading. She scheduled the appointment to have our taxes done on the same day. No doubt in mind she did this on purpose! Tax Man dropped by at around the same time techie guy came, 1pm. Techie guy was in and out within 40 minutes. Tax Man was another story. It doesn't bother me having sister find out how much I spend, it's her endless lectures that bother me and how I dread receiving them. It's no big shocker I love to shop. I love buying things but what I consider essential is what sister considers frivolous. She's entitled to her opinion but it's in my opinion that her opinion is wrong. Thank God Tax Day comes once a year but how great would it be if it was like the Leap Year and came once every 4 years?

Wednesday March 13th: Nail Polish & White Smoke
Finally I was able to go into city and experience March Madness. Every spring break the malls will host a little something called March Madness. It's when all the stores introduce their spring/summer line. 

I snapped the above picture while shopping in Sephora. My God I was in nail polish heaven. As I scanned the colors trying to decide which one would look good for my next mani/pedi one of the employees informed her co-worker how she was dying for a smoke. Upon hearing the 'word' smoke I began to wonder if the new Pope had been selected. I know weird, right? Normally I could care less about this whole Pope thingy. I'm not even Catholic but there was just so much press up here about the next Pope mainly because one of the contenders happened to be from The Great White North. I checked my phone for twitter updates and wouldn't you know #whitesmoke was trending. One of the sites provided a live feed from Vatican City. The announcement of what country the next Pope had yet to be revealed. Hundreds and thousands of people were standing at St. Peter's Square, cheering, crying and waving their countries flags: Italy, Brazil, USA, Portugal, Canada, Spain etc. If somebody didn't know what was happening the events could have been easily mistaken for the World Cup. One of the reporters spoke to some of the people who were at St. Peter's Square. Many had flown in just to see the new Pope being selected and couldn't believe they witnessed the white smoke in person. They were proud to be apart of history in the making. If anyone was to ask me where I was when the white smoke appeared? My answer: At Sephora looking at nail polish.The whole thing was like a theatrical production complete with the Swiss Army marching around. One of the cameras from the millions of newstations that were covering the story zoomed in on the Vatican balcony. As the light turned on in the room with the red and white curtains the crowd roared. Several minutes later a religious person stepped out to announce an individual from Argentina was the new Pope who would be known as Pope Francis. The new Pope appeared and spoke in Italian. Shortly after, #fatheroflies began to trend. Apparently Francis mentioned "Gay marriage is a machination of the Father of Lies" and went onto say he's against abortion, birth control and female Priests. I shut my phone off at that point. I had wasted enough of the battery. Hmm, so much for selecting a progressive thinking leader.

Friday March 15th: "Et tu, Brute?"
My loyal and dear readers, it's finally Friday!

It's not just any Friday. It's March 15th aka The Ides Of March. The notorious date of the assassination of Julius Caesar in 44 BCE. You've been warned-- beware of anyone whom you may think might stab you in the back. Figurally speaking of course.
  
Whatever your plans are have a phenomenal weekend. ~x

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess