Eh!

Cocaine Princess here.

I live in a country where other countries seem to get a kick out of making fun of us. So what if our milk comes in bags? That’s hardly a reason to make fun, right? 

Seeing how it’s the Canada Day Long Weekend I thought this would be the perfect time to post a list of common Canadian misconceptions/stereotypes. They're quite funny and it's not like I haven't heard of them before. Hey, it’s all in good fun!

1. We Live In Igloos
I can tell you right now I live in an actual house and to be honest I don't think I've even seen a real Igloo up close. 

2 .We Put Maple Syrup On Everything
The province of Quebec is the largest producer, responsible for about three-quarters of the world's maple syrup but that doesn’t mean we go drizzling it on fries, hamburgers or pizza. The only time I use maple syrup is when I’m eating pancakes. 

3.We Have Monopoly Money
Yes, our currency is colorful but more importantly it's authentic.

4.Do You Live Near Polar Bears?
I have never seen a polar bear in my entire life except for at the zoo and that was in Florida.

5.Our Favorite Fashion Accessory Is The Toque
There are several reason for this, they're warm, they come in an endless array of colors, patterns and styles and anyone can pull of the look, from young to old. What national fashion accessory do you have that can do all that?

6. It's Wintertime 11 Months Of The Year
Although our winters are tough and long it doesn’t snow 11 months out of the year. Winter doesn’t officially start until December 21st but unfortunately the cold weather and snow arrives in November and ends around in April. That’s five months. In the summers we experience sweltering heat as is the case this week. We’ve been under an extreme heat alert. Thank God we live in a house otherwise our igloo would have melted.  

7. All Canadians Love Hockey
I’ll admit Hockey is somewhat of a religion up here however I’m sure there are some Canadians who could care less about the sport just as I’m not sure they are probably many Europeans who don’t like soccer and many Americans who don’t like football. 

8.Lack of Military
Contrary to what you may think the Canadian Army doesn’t consist of men and women holding a BB gun while mounted on a moose. Our military is minuscule in relation to our landmass but as the picture suggests, We Get The Job Done. 

9. Canadians Are Overly Nice 
 Hmm, I’m conflicted on this one. I know I’m a nice person and generally most Canuks are except for the person who stole my umbrella. He or she is definitely not nice and if I ever come face to face with the umbrella thief there's a very good chance I won’t be nice. In fact you can count on it.

 10.We’re All Lumberjacks 
Just like the polar bear, I’ve never seen a lumberjack (I’m sure they exist) We’re a country filled with so many occupations (for example, pretty models) that if I was to list them all I’d be here ‘til next week.

11. We All Know Each Other
“I know a Bob from Canada. Do you know him?” There are 34.48 million people living in Canada so the likelihood of me knowing Bob is slim.

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If there are any Canadian readers of my blog, Happy Canada Day Weekend. To my Lovelies down south, enjoy a safe and Happy of 4th of July, eh. Couldn’t resist inserting that last word!

My loyal and dear readers it’s finally Friday.
Whatever your plans are have a superb weekend ~x

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

   

For The Third Damn Time!

Cocaine Princess here.

Lately I have to wonder what is happening to society where it isn't even safe to go to the mall. You're probably wondering why I decided to blog about a topic so deep and serious especially on a Friday. Trust me, I have a good reason.  

I have been the victim of a heinous crime. Excuse me as I try to compose myself. These past few days have been really rough on me but as they say, one day at a time. The crime? Oh God this is so hard for me to talk about. Deep breaths. Okay here goes. Some low-down individual stole my umbrella. Yes, you read that correctly. The Princess’ umbrella was stolen for the third damn time! 

Incident #1
I was at a restaurant and left my coat and umbrella at coat check. When it came time to leave, my coat was returned but I can’t say the same for my umbrella. According to the clerk it couldn’t be found. It was checked-in alongside my coat. If my coat was returned, why wasn’t my umbrella? A better question, what happened to it? It couldn’t have just got up and walked away, right? The clerk said he looked everywhere and after apologizing he suggested to call back in a few days to their lost and found department. It may turn up, he said. It may turn up? What does that mean? Did my umbrella go out for lunch and while on its way back to coat check it happened to get lost? I decided not to wait a few days and called the next day where I was told by the management, “I’m terribly sorry but you’ve been misinformed. We don’t have a lost and found department.”

Incident #2
I was in the mall food court. All I can say is nothing good comes from eating in those places and under normal circumstances I would have selected one of the fine restaurants to dine in but I was having a severe craving for a slice of cheesy pizza. I placed my umbrella on the empty seat next to me. After I finished eating, I got up from my seat to dispose of the garbage which consisted of a paper plate, a napkin and a empty can of Diet Dr. Pepper and when I returned to my seat, no umbrella. Mr. London Fog had disappeared.  

Incident #3
After 2 umbrella thefts I decided it was time to take action. I purchased one of those sleek, light and compact ones that conveniently fit in your purse. This time I was no where near the food court however I was at the mall and seated on one of the comfortable couches. Much better than those wooden benches. I had one hand filled with shopping bags and in the other I had a smoothie and decided rather than walk around with it to sit down and savor the delicious blended flavors of mango, orange and banana. Yum! I went to reach inside my handbag for a tissue. My drink was having a case of drink sweat and as luck would have it the tissue pack was at the bottom. I removed some of the items, umbrella included and put them to one side so I could get to the tissues. After wiping off the sweat I tossed the tissue into the nearby basket. Perfect shot. Not even 2 minutes had passed, hell it probably wasn’t even a whole minute that I had my back turned because in that time my umbrella was GONE! Seriously, what the hell?! I suppose I should be thankful sticky fingers didn’t walk off with my YSL compact. 

Is there an umbrella shortage I’m not aware of? Is it the same person and if so do they have some kind of weird umbrella fetish or are they attempting to make it into the Guinness Book of World Records? “The Guinness Record For The Person With The Most Umbrellas Goes To......” 

I really don't understand why this keeps happening to me. Do I need to put a tracking device on my next one? Hmm, you know what? Rather than buy another umbrella I think I'll buy a raincoat instead, a Burberry one of course.

****

Last year I posted an entry about Nik Wallenda who successfully tight roped across Niagara Falls on live TV.  He’s back. This Sunday he’s planning to tightrope across The Grand Canyon, without a tether or a safety net. You can catch his death defying walk live here. 

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My loyal and dear readers, it’s finally Friday.

Whatever your plans are have an amazing first week of summer. ~x

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

The Noise

Cocaine Princess here.

Given the busy schedule I had this past week you'd think the moment my head hits the pillow I'd fall asleep, right? This would be one of those great moments to insert a game show buzzer losing sound. I'm averaging between 3-4 hours of sleep at night. I honestly can't quite remember the last time I slept a solid 7 hours. I've now come to accept my body isn't programmed for normal sleep. Anyways, here's some of the interesting things that occurred in the middle of the night.

MONDAY
There I lay in bed. Somewhere between staring at the ceiling and deciding whether or not to eat a bowl of cereal I heard a loud crashing sound. I immediately got out of bed and turned on the lights. I checked around my room and everything was in place. I went into sister's room and considering how loud the sound I heard was, to my surprise she was asleep. Whenever the need arises for me to go into sister's room in the middle of the night (and most of the time it's because I can't sleep), I like to think of creative ways of waking her up. For example, one time I tip-toed into her room and turned her radio on full blast while another time I started jumping up and down on the bed. This time I decided to pinch her nose, gently of course. I giggled quietly. Hey I thought it was funny. Unfortunately sister didn't share those same feelings. She brushed my hand away.

SISTER: Let me guess. You can't sleep.

ME: Yes and because I heard a noise.

SISTER: What kind of noise?

Given the tone in her voice she didn't seem very concerned.

ME: What kind of noise?! Didn't you hear that loud crashing sound?

Sister claimed she didn't hear a thing and came to the conclusion that I was dreaming.

ME: How could have I been dreaming if I wasn't sleeping?

SISTER: Maybe you were in a semi-state of sleep.

Believe me, if I was asleep I would have known it. We went back and forth on the subject on whether the crash like sound I heard was real or not until sister came up with a suggestion.

SISTER: Why don't you call up Fred, Velma and the rest of the Scooby gang and investigate, okay? Good night, darling.

Never let it be said that in the wee hours of the night her teasing isn't sharp.

I decided to take her advice and because I didn't have The Mystery Machine's phone number I had to investigate solo. Putting my detective skills to work I knew right away the sound couldn't have been made by an intruder otherwise the alarm would have gone off. I figured something had fallen but after checking the entire house from top to bottom I couldn't find anything out of the ordinary. Could sister have been right? Was it possible I was asleep and dreamt the whole thing? If so, who the hell dreams of a crashing sound? 

TUESDAY
I was doing a little late night channel surfing when low and behold I came across a movie called "Chupacabra vs. the Alamo" starring none other than Erik Estrada. It was an original SyFy movie about Chupacabras (mythical vampire-like beasts that resemble dogs) running loose in Texas and killing and draining people of their blood. Erik Estrada and his law enforcement buddies are the only ones that can stop them by holing up in Texas’ most famous landmark, The Alamo. Seriously, I've seen some terrible movies but this one tops the list. The dialogue and the acting was terrible and the special effects were beyond horrible and this was 10 minutes into watching the film! I would have switched the channel but it was just one of those really bad movies you can't stop watching. Spoiler alert-- the good guys win! Check out the trailer here.

WEDNESDAY
After returning from my morning run a pile of concrete edge blockers were left on our driveway.

Later on in the day I was informed the order had been placed by sister. I’m not too sure what exactly her vision is for the garden but as soon as the landscaper is done with whatever sister has planned I’ll post the pics.

THURSDAY
I'm not a coffee drinker nor do I drink tea. I never developed a taste for either but I do happen to love the smell of coffee. If ever I need a little caffeine perk I’ll grab a Red Bull or a Diet Dr. Pepper. Thursday morning I was up at 3am. There was no point in going back to sleep and since I had a long day ahead of me I needed a pick me up. I opened the fridge and as I went to reach for my trusty Diet Dr. Pepper from the shelf I happen to spot this:

According to what was written on the side of the carton, made from rich creme and milk. Enjoy this sweet treat!  I thought, hmm, maybe I should give it a try. How bad could it be? Pouring it into a glass it resembled chocolate milk. I was under the impression it would taste like chocolate milk with just a subtle hint of coffee. I don't know what International Delight's (the company behind the above beverage) definition of sweet is but it was anything but that. My taste buds found it bitter and disgusting. I wound up pouring the remainder down the sink. How can something that smells soooo good taste soooo gross?

 FRIDAY

My loyal and dear readers, it's finally Friday. 

Whatever your plans are have a loving weekend. ~x

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

T.G.I.F

Cocaine Princess here.

Whenever I have a long and busy week, when Friday arrives it's like a breath of fresh air. Yes, there is light at the end of the tunnel! I made it!

I do realize you were expecting a spectacular post, time prevented me from posting one. If I could wipe away your tears from utter disappointment I would, however I leave you with this:

As most of you know I have a sweet tooth and today happens to be "National Dougnut Day" and in honor of it Dunkin’ Donuts launched a new doughnut breakfast sandwich that will be added to their menu beginning today, Fried eggs and bacon between a split glazed donut.

Maybe it's the monthly hormones talking because I'm finding this breakfast temptation extremely delicious but unfortunately there's no Dunkin' Donuts in the land of the Maple Leaf. What can I say? We are a nation of Tim Hortons addicts. 

And in case you're wondering, the grease filled sandwich is only 360 calories and 20 grams in total fat. Eating one won't hurt, right?

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My loyal and dear readers, it's finally Friday.

Whatever your plans are have a fabulous weekend. ~x

XOXOXOXO,

Cocaine Princess